Chit Chat Before Mass, Proper Dress

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I know for a fact that some seniors only get out to go to mass and it is the only time they see each other all week. My parish is made up mostly of seniors. While I appreciate silence, I understand their need to speak to one another. For some of them, it literally is the last time they see each other.

I can suck it up. Or I get to mass earlier before everyone else.
 
libbeylu said:
No, I am referring to adult women!
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Yes, that could be a bit annoying and a distraction.

If you want the women to stop turning around and constantly looking at everyone sitting behind them, my advice would be that next time a woman (or a man) does this, just simply look them in the eye, smile at them and give them a friendly wave of the hand.

Acknowledging them with a friendly wave of the hand would probably reduce the number of times they turn around at Mass to look at others.

Just a simply suggestion on my part.

🙂
 
Irishmom2 said:
I know for a fact that some seniors only get out to go to mass and it is the only time they see each other all week. My parish is made up mostly of seniors. While I appreciate silence, I understand their need to speak to one another. For some of them, it literally is the last time they see each other.

I can suck it up. Or I get to mass earlier before everyone else.
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True. But in all fairness, 99% of Catholic Churches have a narthex. They can whisper to their friend, “come with me to the narthex so we can catch up.” They don’t have to chat in the pews.
 
Modesty is going the way of the horse with the un-lectured
 
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@phil19034 I mean this, they are literally in their eighties and nineties. They come in, and sit in the same pew every week. They are not going to come in and go out again to talk.
 
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sefarlow said:
There is a man show attends daily mass regularly but comes dressed in cargo shorts, white socks, tennis shoes and a t-shirt. Even worse, he acts as altar server 2 days a week or so. If I say something to the priest I believe I would get the response “At least he is attending.” Should I just tolerate it?
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Throughout the entire history of the Church - dress at Mass - during the past 50 years and of course including of course and maybe especially - some of the females - have gone way down the tubes - due to the influence of Liberalistic Sex-Mores combined with some Priests who never put their foot down as they should have - out of timidity and/or agreement… .
 
DeniseNY said:
but if a couple of 90 year olds are sitting in the back pew talking, I don’t have an issue with it. It may be the only time they see each other. I’m ok with them having a couple minutes of friendship prior to Liturgy. There was someone on the board who was really proud of himself when he told off a couple of senior citizens in his parish. I can’t even imagine. These folks knew my parents, and they even remember my grandpa, and he’s been gone for almost 41 years. I just could never do something like that. And I think my grandpa would be ashamed of me if I did.
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I have worked with elderly people since I was 16 and that is a lot of years ago and I love them and enjoy being around them alot but if a couple of elderly people, even at 90 are distracting people praying it is still wrong. Most elderly people around the age of 90 were brought up with quiet in the Church and still maintain it. The elderly group between about 70 and 90 are usually the ones that seem to not care and talk before Mass and after Mass whether others are praying or not. Sometimes at our parish there is as couple who will sit with those praying the rosary and talk and laugh rather than join in to the rosary.

I have no problem with a quick hello, how are you but when the chit chat starts and continues it is rude to the others around them.
Irishmom2 said:
I know for a fact that some seniors only get out to go to mass and it is the only time they see each other all week. My parish is made up mostly of seniors. While I appreciate silence, I understand their need to speak to one another. For some of them, it literally is the last time they see each other.
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I agree, very true but as someone else said the conversation can be held somewhere else.
I have been on our prayer chain for many years now and know some of the horrible struggles many people are praying about before and during Mass. We should respect that also.
 
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Irishmom2 said:
@phil19034 I mean this, they are literally in their eighties and nineties. They come in, and sit in the same pew every week. They are not going to come in and go out again to talk.
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I mean this, they can literally talk to their friends AFTER mass (in the Narthex), before they head home.

If they need a place to sit & chat, put some chairs and/or benches in the narthex.

There really is no good excuse to to be chating in the Sanctuary. Any good pastor can end it, if he really wants to.
 
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We have chairs. Our pastor obviously is okay with people talking before mass. So no one needs to worry about my parish. Unless someone wants to report him to the bishop for speaking to our elderly parishioners in church before mass.
 
You should be troubled by “chit-chat” among people who should be in preparation for the Mass. They are disturbing you, and me, and themselves by their noise. Your pastor should be concerned about this, because his responsibility for our souls, and their souls, is grave. He is supposed to be their father - and your father - and my father - and he should work to make his offering of the Mass (and our offering with him of the Mass) effective for us all, to help us all toward our common vocation to holiness.

I have tried to talk with pastors about this, and some grieve about this more than we do. One holy priest put up signs in the narthex - concerning what is righteous to do with the time in preparation for Holy Mass, and proper dress for it as well - and I’m told he got so much push-back and grief because of it, with complaints going even to the Bishop, that the priest caved. Very, very sad.

Pray. Pray! Pray for our Church, so much lukewarmness, so much worldliness, so much irreverence! God help us.
 
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Irishmom2 said:
We have chairs. Our pastor obviously is okay with people talking before mass. So no one needs to worry about my parish. Unless someone wants to report him to the bishop for speaking to our elderly parishioners in church before mass.
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Here is the problem with this…

I have met A LOT of Generation X’ers and Millennials who claim that the chit-chat before/after mass is ONE of the reasons they don’t come to mass or have left the Catholic Church.

They view the chit-chat as a sign that the people who are there are hypocrites & do not really believe what the Church teaches, and MORE IMPORTANTLY, it makes them believe the priest doesn’t care either.

We have a BIG ISSUE with Catholics (esp young ones) not believing in the Real Presence. Why we continue to ignore the constructive feedback we receive from former Catholics & ones who don’t come to mass is beyond me!

BUT hey, we do listen to the ones who give us heretical/modernist feedback & bend over backwards to make the heretic/modernist feel welcome. 🤦‍♂️
 
Since it is daily mass, he could be rushing in from work and doesn’t change.

Out servers aren’t required to wear one. They are allowed to wear street clothes.
 
DeniseNY said:
There was someone on the board who was really proud of himself when he told off a couple of senior citizens in his parish. I can’t even imagine. These folks knew my parents, and they even remember my grandpa, and he’s been gone for almost 41 years. I just could never do something like that. And I think my grandpa would be ashamed of me if I did.
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That was EXTREMELY WRONG of that board member. Only the Pastor should do this (and maybe assistant priests & deacons IF the pastor thinks it’s wise).

But lay people should NEVER do this. Even if the pastor is ok it with. It should ONLY be clergy who make this kind of correction.
 
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DeniseNY said:
There was someone on the board who was really proud of himself when he told off a couple of senior citizens in his parish
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phil19034 said:
EXTREMELY WRONG of that board member…
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phil19034:
lay people should NEVER do this.
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I agree that “telling someone off” is NEVER something a Christian should do in any situation. A deacon at one parish said to quietly and politely just give them a gentle “shhh”, with your index finger, along with a smile and a thank you.
 
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MagdalenaRita said:
I agree that “telling someone off” is NEVER something a Christian should do in any situation. A deacon at one parish said to quietly and politely just give them a gentle “shhh”, with your index finger, along with a smile and a thank you.
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Some people can pull that off in a nice way.

Others can’t. I think it’s just better for a member of the clergy to do it as a rule of thumb.
 
MagdalenaRita said:
I agree that “telling someone off” is NEVER something a Christian should do in any situation.
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There’s the way God wants us to assist those who are mistaken

The Spiritual Works of Mercy are:
  • To instruct the ignorant
  • To counsel the doubtful
  • To admonish sinners
Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
 
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