Church denies Communion to autistic boy

[maggieodae]

That is a tough call to make. I know I have been in the position
and still don’t know the correct answer. But, I offer a glimpse into an experience I had a few years ago, with a profoundly disabled person.

**The Story of Daniel **

Hospital ministry can be such a blessing, but it can also cause a person to lose their focus on Christ if we allow it to. On one particular hectic Saturday a couple of years ago, I found myself seriously doubting the usefulness of such a ministry. The morning began with my running behind schedule, as I was really not feeling much up to doing it in the first place. To top it off, I was late getting to the hospital due to accidentally setting the alarm off at church when I unlocked the door. It was my turn as Team Leader to pick up the Eucharist from the church for our team members in the hospital ministry that week. In my hurried frustration, I could not remember the code.

After several tries, I began to worry about how I would ever get to the hospital on time. For the life of me I could not get the alarm to accept my code and the incessant ringing of the burglar alarm was really starting to make me break out in a sweat.
Struggling to find my code in my purse, I finally located it and discovered I had transposed the numbers. “Drat!” I wondered to myself. “Will I ever learn this new fangled contraption?” Arriving out of breath and full of apologies to the others members of the ministry team, we quickly set to work. After checking the patient logs the receptionist handed us, we split up the hosts and began our appointed rounds.

While riding the elevator to the first floor of patients, I thought to myself: “I can serve Jesus today and take Him to those who need Him so very much.” I was trying very hard to talk myself into being cheerful and enthusiastic. That thought started working as I came to the first floor, but by the 11th floor my spirit was beginning to lag once again. Feeling very dejected, I began to wonder why we even bothered giving up our time on Saturdays to do Hospital Ministry. That Saturday was much like the last few we had experienced. We volunteer our time to bring the Eucharist to the hospitalized and most of the patients are totally disinterested. The usual response was: “No, thanks! I don’t care to receive.” Some of the patients would even tell you out right they were not happy to be bothered with a visit. That Saturday morning it began to look as if I would have to return most of the hosts to the church again.

As I checked in at the nursing station on the eleventh floor, I was beginning to get the definite feeling that I needed to step back from hospital ministry for a time. It had gotten to be very disheartening to have so many people not interested in receiving. They all seemed to be too busy wanting to see their doctor or involved in phone conversation that I began to feel like the unwanted guest at a wedding reception.

 

[maggieodae]

As the nurse handed me back the approved patients list, I found there are only three patients on this last floor to visit, and only two of them could receive the Eucharist. The third patient was marked for a prayer visit only. I had to brace myself mentally for more refusals as I walked toward the first room to meet with a patient named Martha. I was definitely not happy and not in a cheerful mood. I worked mightily to paste a smile on my face and appear cheerful even though I felt like just calling it a day and going home.

As I tapped on the door gently, I prepared to announce myself. But before I could utter a word, this very weak but beautiful voice said; “OH! Come in please! You have brought me my Jesus! I could see His light coming down the hall towards my room.” As I fully entered, I saw a lady who was eagerly anticipating her visit from the Divine Physician. This woman, I would learn later, had come to the hospital for the last time. Martha was in the final stages of her cancer battle, but Martha’s soul was at peace as she eagerly awaited Her Lord!

Standing in her presence, I felt humbled and quite sure that I was witnessing a little miracle. Martha needed no one to tell her Jesus was present. Her eye’s gazed at the Host with what I can only describe as sheer rapture. It was as if the veil of the Tabernacle opened and Christ stepped forth to hold His dying child in His arms himself. I myself, to say the least, was chagrined at my earlier grumpy thoughts of how useless our ministry was. I left Martha to make the next patient visit with a very contrite spirit and I was full of joy to have been able to bring Christ to one sweet soul that day.

In the moments before I approached the next room, I paused with tears coursing down my cheeks and contritely whispered to Jesus; “I am sorry for being so grumpy about giving my time to carry you to the sick. Martha has shown me Lord how much You care. I know that it is worth every minute of my time. I myself am a very poor instrument to bring you to the sick and suffering. Please forgive me Jesus!”

Checking with the next patient’s nurse, I found that this patient had a whole room full of visitors. Jim and his family members were very warm and welcoming, and they all wanted to receive Jesus! After leaving Jim and his family still deep in their prayers of thanksgiving for Christ in the Eucharist, I stopped outside the room of my last patient. Checking with his nurse I was a bit startled when she replied, “Daniel is probably not worth bothering with but go on in if you want to.” By this time I knew for certain that Christ wanted me to make the effort, even if it would be a waste of time. He had showed me how much He was appreciated by Martha and Jim’s family and I was determined not to disappoint Him again with my poor attitude.

I gently tapped on the door and announced myself to the motionless figure lying in the darkened hospital room. At the sound of my voice, Daniel turned over as best he could. In that instant, I found myself looking into the most beautiful blue eyes I believe I have ever seen. Eyes, which smiled with the brightness of all heaven, as if to say; “Welcome! How happy I am that you have come to visit me!” Eye’s, which mesmerized me with their beauty even though Daniel, poor creature, was covered with the most awful pustules, which had disfigured his face. I could hardly recognize his nose and his mouth was full of the most haphazard gapping teeth I believe I have ever seen. Daniel, it turned out was profoundly retarded as well as very physically misshapen. But in my heart of hearts, I knew that Daniel not only recognized Jesus… to me he became Jesus in this most distressing disguise.

As I prayed at Daniel’s bedside, I swear I could hear the angels singing; “Glory to God in the Highest and to all his creatures on earth!” Daniel, even though he was mute and physically and mentally challenged, renewed my spirit more than I can say. I came to bring Jesus to the sick and the suffering, but I found Jesus that day through the love for Christ in the Eucharist of a dying woman named Martha. Jesus was there in midst of Jim’s family, and in the end, I found Jesus was Truly Present in the blue eyes of a man named Daniel.

 

[proud2bcatholic]

DreadVandal:

Let me share with you an observation. I say this as one who is a University professor. It seems to me that our culture has an excessive concern with the possibility of “hurting feelings.” It is as if the only virtue is to avoid causing others emotional pain. The result is, of course, that we are habituating people (not just men) to become sissies. I had a friend who once said that “niceness” is an overrated virtue. I think he’s right. In fact, I would say that it is not a virtue at all. Of course we should try to be pleasant as possible, but that doesn’t mean that pleasantness in itself is some kind of virtue that must always be fostered. Sometimes pain is a good thing. Much of our obsession with being “nonjudgmental” “sweet” “nice” etc. really amounts to our cultural belief that we have a right to feel good as much as possible and people who get in the way of that are just meanies.

Others have suggested that if we had to go through a long term period of serious war or calamity, we would be doomed. And I think they are right. Imagine if we had to go through something like World War II today. It wouldn’t happen because most people have been raised to be total pansies. That includes women as well as men.

I was just watching Gladiator again. Probably my favorite movie, or at least one of my favorites. I must say that after watching movies like Gladiator, Saving Private Ryan, and Hero I 'm ashamed to be a human being in this nation in this generation. Sorry, I just get fed up with all this obsessive with weakness and not hurting anyone. Isn’t there any strength, courage, and virtue anymore?

I just got done watching “Cinderella Man” for the first time, and by the way it is a great movie. Through the whole movie, I was thinking how far we are from the character displayed by the people in that movie (the movie takes place during the Great Depression). I concur, the virtuous man is something that is rare today.

 

[frommi]

DreadVandal:

Let me share with you an observation. I say this as one who is a University professor. It seems to me that our culture has an excessive concern with the possibility of “hurting feelings.” It is as if the only virtue is to avoid causing others emotional pain. The result is, of course, that we are habituating people (not just men) to become sissies. I had a friend who once said that “niceness” is an overrated virtue. I think he’s right. In fact, I would say that it is not a virtue at all. Of course we should try to be pleasant as possible, but that doesn’t mean that pleasantness in itself is some kind of virtue that must always be fostered. Sometimes pain is a good thing. Much of our obsession with being “nonjudgmental” “sweet” “nice” etc. really amounts to our cultural belief that we have a right to feel good as much as possible and people who get in the way of that are just meanies.

Others have suggested that if we had to go through a long term period of serious war or calamity, we would be doomed. And I think they are right. Imagine if we had to go through something like World War II today. It wouldn’t happen because most people have been raised to be total pansies. That includes women as well as men.

I was just watching Gladiator again. Probably my favorite movie, or at least one of my favorites. I must say that after watching movies like Gladiator, Saving Private Ryan, and Hero I 'm ashamed to be a human being in this nation in this generation. Sorry, I just get fed up with all this obsessive with weakness and not hurting anyone. Isn’t there any strength, courage, and virtue anymore?

You ever wonder what a Messiah who came to comfort the afflicted would think about your theory on niceness?

All I meant was, yes, the Bishop seems correct in this case. Sadly, somewhere in all of this it went from a private matter to a huge pr problem where it looks like the bishop is denying communion to a boy who cant help that hes autistic. It’s just being handled poorly.

The diocese shouldn’t get into a he said/she said with the family. That doesn’t help.

And by the way, to all the people who are (correctly) pointing out that you can receive one species or another and participate fully in the Lord’s supper…I offer this…the teaching of the faithful on this matter is so far off that people don’t believe this.

 

[jman507]

DreadVandal:

If they cannot take it, then how are they receiving it? I suppose one could use a spoon and give a drop of the precious blood, but if he spits it out? We need to use God given reason here and not be overtaken by our emotions.

Communion would not be through a physcial means of bread or wine, but through a spiritual communion. If this child would be carrying this cross and could not take it physically, but still had the desire do you think Jesus would deny the grace that comes with Communion?

 

[frleo]

In one of my parishes we have a boy, about age 10, with autism and another young man, about 30, with Downs Syndrome. The older one has been recieving communion for many years. He is one of 16 kids in his family. His mother’s love for the Eucharist would have kept her from allowing her son to place the host on his tongue and then spit it out for her to consume. Her faith is such that she would realize that, even if her son could not receive communion, he could have an intimate relationship with his Savior.
The younger boy’s family also has a great repect for the Eucharist. As their son got to be old enough to receive communion they were directed toward the first mother mentioned to gain some insight for preparing their son. As of yet, they do not believe he is ready to receive communion.
In both cases there is a desire that the child receive communion, but there is also an added respect for Christ truly present in the Eucharist.

These decisions are not easy to make on either side of the issue. I have a feeling that it extends beyond the family and the bishop. I would guess that someone in the parish wrote a letter of concern to the bishop. I would encourage us all to take time to pray for the family, the pastor, the parish and the bishop. Let us ask Jesus, who is our strength to help all involved to work with charity and understanding.

 

[DreadVandal]

frommi:

You ever wonder what a Messiah who came to comfort the afflicted would think about your theory on niceness?

All I meant was, yes, the Bishop seems correct in this case. Sadly, somewhere in all of this it went from a private matter to a huge pr problem where it looks like the bishop is denying communion to a boy who cant help that hes autistic. It’s just being handled poorly.

The diocese shouldn’t get into a he said/she said with the family. That doesn’t help.

And by the way, to all the people who are (correctly) pointing out that you can receive one species or another and participate fully in the Lord’s supper…I offer this…the teaching of the faithful on this matter is so far off that people don’t believe this.

I seem to remember from my reading of the Gospels that Jesus frequently wasn’t very nice. Is the boy really being denied communion? I don’t think so. The Church is just stipulating what needs to happen behaviorally in order for the sacrament to be received without endangering it.

 

[DreadVandal]

jman507:

Communion would not be through a physcial means of bread or wine, but through a spiritual communion. If this child would be carrying this cross and could not take it physically, but still had the desire do you think Jesus would deny the grace that comes with Communion?

Oh don’t misunderstand me. The boy receives the grace of spiritual communion just as any Catholic does who is in a position not to receive the body and blood but who is contrite and worshiping God.

 

[fix]

frommi:

Teaching or no…sometimes bishops can just come across a little less than pastoral in these situations.

The article, if accurate, does not indicate anything about the bishop not being “pastoral”. It seems to portary the parents as poorly catechized and demanding something that is impossible.

When I see a good man attacked for standing up for the truth I know something is wrong.

 

[frommi]

DreadVandal:

I seem to remember from my reading of the Gospels that Jesus frequently wasn’t very nice. Is the boy really being denied communion? I don’t think so. The Church is just stipulating what needs to happen behaviorally in order for the sacrament to be received without endangering it.

Right…who was he not ‘nice’ too…it certainly wasn’t the ill or infirmed.

Again, I think this is a pretty unfair and unbalanced attack based on poor cathecisis.

But it could have been solved without so much hulabaloo I suspect.

 

[fix]

frommi:

Right…who was he not ‘nice’ too…it certainly wasn’t the ill or infirmed.

Is that not part of the point? It too often comes down to personal and emotional judgment, not fact and truth. I have read on these forums many complaining it is not nice to point out correction.

The article, if accurate, shows that the parents are acting as if they have been wronged because they want things as they deem them correct, not as they should be. That would seem to be “not nice” by many standards today.

 

[frommi]

fix:

Is that not part of the point? It too often comes down to personal and emotional judgment, not fact and truth. I have read on these forums many complaining it is not nice to point out correction.

The article, if accurate, shows that the parents are acting as if they have been wronged because they want things as they deem them correct, not as they should be. That would seem to be “not nice” by many standards today.

Try to have a little compassion for the parents. They have an autisitc child who they ARE taking to church. That deserves a lot of praise. Finding solutions to help disabled children isn’t easy. And I suspect they probably feel like the church is working against them instead of with them.

 

[fix]

frommi:

Try to have a little compassion for the parents.

I have great compassion for them and anyone else with a disabled child. That does not mean that after explaining things and they reject that explanation, compassion then comes to mean effeteness.

They have an autisitc child who they ARE taking to church. That deserves a lot of praise. Finding solutions to help disabled children isn’t easy. And I suspect they probably feel like the church is working against them instead of with them.

Yes, they feel that, but they should not feel that. I am commenting on info from the article. If there is more to the story then that is different.

 

[byHisGrace]

It doesn’t take a lot of reading between the lines of this article to see what is going on here. Here you have parents raising hell about what their child is being denied. Typical “me and mine” and “my rights” mentality. And they’re totally missing the point. Bishop Olmsted is pointing to the truth of the Eucharist and what the Church teaches about it, and indeed IS being pastoral by both not allowing this child, his parents, or the church community to have a false understanding about receiving the Eucharist. The father, by allowing the child to persist in the practice, then taking the Host himself is playing a game to keep his child happy and making him feel involved. And to suggest that Bishop Olmsted…of all people is being anything less than pastoral is ridiculous. The good people of Phoenix KNOW how pastoral this man is…he’s one of the great Bishops living in the Church today…and it is also obvious from the article that the Bishop and the Diocese are breaking their backs trying to find a solution for this child. There are many potential solutions to this, including the child going up for a blessing in the Communion line until this can be resolved. The parents have an obligation not only to submit to the Bishop on this, but to ask themselves a few hard questions about both their intent, and what they’re doing to this child by trying to have it their way.

 

[Scott_Waddell]

fix:

I have great compassion for them and anyone else with a disabled child. That does not mean that after explaining things and they reject that explanation, compassion then comes to mean effeteness.

Yes, they feel that, but they should not feel that. I am commenting on info from the article. If there is more to the story then that is different.

Fix hits on a major point for forums to my mind. That is, when someone posts a story, hypothetical moral dilemma, and asks for comments the main objective is to get to the facts and the correct answer and it is bad faith to chide one for an so-called uncompassionate answer. If the actual parents of this child posted on this forum, that would be an example of a pastoral thread which requires much more compassion than brow-beating with facts. We need the wisdom to recognize the difference.

Scott

 

[RichT]

I too have compassion for all parents with a special needs child, but to applaud them for taking this child to church isn’t necessary. I have a daughter with Down Syndrome, and I would have her in church with or withut the DS. Why? Because as a Catholic parent that is my duty and obligation to God and to my church.

Being from the Phoenix area, I have been dealing with this article in other places besides this forum. I have been e-mailed by several people who know of my Catholic faith in order to answer questions and to give my point of view. These people are all part of a Down Syndrome support group that my wife and I belong to. In my reseach and questions I have found out that indeed the diocese is doing everything they possibly can to help this little boy. I think, and I am not judging or pointing fingers, it is possible we are not hearing the whole story, especially regarding the Parish that this boy was originally receiving Communion from.

Unfortunately, the parents are used to him receiving in this particular way, and up until now they have been led to believe this was okay. Interesting how the original parish doesn’t rememember this boy. At any rate, Dr. Isabella Rice who also has a child with special needs is the diocese liason who is currently working with this family. She heads up a department that works with disabled people in an effort to assure they are included to the fullest extent. If there is a way to solve this probelm, it will be done.

And yes, as someone has pointed out, Bishop Olmstead is one of the most pastoral men we have working in our diocese. And not only that, but this Bishop actually stands up for church teaching! Imagine that…

 

[fix]

Scott Waddell:

Fix hits on a major point for forums to my mind. That is, when someone posts a story, hypothetical moral dilemma, and asks for comments the main objective is to get to the facts and the correct answer and it is bad faith to chide one for an so-called uncompassionate answer. If the actual parents of this child posted on this forum, that would be an example of a pastoral thread which requires much more compassion than brow-beating with facts. We need the wisdom to recognize the difference.

Scott

Yes and thank you. I can only comment on what is reported. I think it is fair to draw some conclusions if the reporting is accurate.

 

[fix]

RichT:

I too have compassion for all parents with a special needs child, but to applaud them for taking this child to church isn’t necessary. I have a daughter with Down Syndrome, and I would have her in church with or withut the DS. Why? Because as a Catholic parent that is my duty and obligation to God and to my church.

God bless you.

In my reseach and questions I have found out that indeed the diocese is doing everything they possibly can to help this little boy. I think, and I am not judging or pointing fingers, it is possible we are not hearing the whole story, especially regarding the Parish that this boy was originally receiving Communion from.

Interesting, and not surprising.

Unfortunately, the parents are used to him receiving in this particular way, and up until now they have been led to believe this was okay. Interesting how the original parish doesn’t rememember this boy. At any rate, Dr. Isabella Rice who also has a child with special needs is the diocese liason who is currently working with this family. She heads up a department that works with disabled people in an effort to assure they are included to the fullest extent. If there is a way to solve this probelm, it will be done.

Great news.

And yes, as someone has pointed out, Bishop Olmstead is one of the most pastoral men we have working in our diocese. And not only that, but this Bishop actually stands up for church teaching! Imagine that…

 

[proud2bcatholic]

frommi:

Right…who was he not ‘nice’ too…it certainly wasn’t the ill or infirmed.

Again, I think this is a pretty unfair and unbalanced attack based on poor cathecisis.

But it could have been solved without so much hulabaloo I suspect.

Yep, I agree, however the hulabaloo is not being created by the Diocese, I suspect it is being caused by the family or somebody who found out about it who has a beef with the Church or didn’t completely know the circumstances and the Arizona Republic which has disliked Bishop Olmsted ever since he (privately) asked 10 priests to stop supporting the homosexual movement.

 

[bones_IV]

Autism and the Eucharist.

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