I do apologize for reading your post very quickly and missing key words. I meant no disrespect.
Let me go back to your first one about the confession. I’m not in the confessional at the time, so I’m trying to place myself in that situation. One priest says it’s a mortal sin. The other priest says not. My guess is that they are coming at the same action from two perspectives and they are both right. If one looks at the action, one can say that an action is a mortal sin. If one looks at the individual, one can say that the individual is not guilty of mortal sin.
Also, some actions are in grey zones. I’ll use masturbation as an example. The old wording was that it was mortally sinful. The wording in the CCC is that it is a disordered act. It stands to reason that a disordered act can be a mortal sin, but it can also be disordered because of the individual’s lack of psychological maturity, regardless of his or her age. Two confessors or two spiritual directors may arrive at two conclusions and both may have some degree of validity.
Whom do you listen to? Because you have chosen two confessors, go with your conscience. If it were one confessor, I would say go with his direction. If there is failure in his guidance it is on his shoulders, not yours. Utlimately, the confessor is morally responsible for the guidance that he provides, unless it’s something that’s blatantly wrong. The best rule is the advice of St. Augustine. Do not act when in doubt.
Both can be looking at culpability, but are coming from different angles. My suggestion in these cases, if it’s an on-going problem is to stick with one confessor so as not to get confused by two different perspectives. It’s not a matter of one priest is right and another is wrong. Each is probably looking from a different perspective. He calls it from his point of view.
This is one of the most difficult tasks in hearing confessions or being a spiritual director. I don’t hear confessions, but do many spiritual directions and teach others how to do spiritual direction. This is a tough one, because you have to make judgement calls based on Church teaching and what you believe that you are dealing with. You are acting in good faith and that’s the best that a confessor or spiritual director can do. To avoid difficulties, use the same one as often as possible.
In the case of the Birth Control. The priest may have jumped the gun and based on his leap, he arrived at the wrong conclusion. That does not make him a bad priest or bad confessor. The principal that he applied is a valid one, but does not fit this scenario.
In the case of the divorced person, there are situations in which the confessor has sufficient reason to believe that the first marriage is invalid, but there is difficulty proving it. The confessor has to make a judgment call. The Church allows a confessor to make a judgment call based on what he knows about the case. The call is made based on matter that takes place within the confessional and no one is at liberty to discuss it. It’s a tough one. If it were my friend, I would not discuss this with her again. Stay away from topics that have been discussed in the confessional. If someone wants to share them with you, tell them that it is not appropriate to discuss matters of confession outside. This takes you out of the middle and having to make a judgment with little information. Since you were not in the confessional, you do not know what the penitent really said and what the confessor really said. The report sounds like something is missing.
A good confessor tries to get the penitent’s situation corrected or at least suggests that they try to do so. We were not in the confessional. We have only the penitent’s word on it.
If this person is really interested in more details, she can approach the diocesan tribunal.
Fraternally,
JR