Cohabitation wha?

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Kevin Walker:
Because he is what is referred to as an “Agenda Troll”, his only purpose is for obfuscation by cant and sophistry to confuse the uninitiated reviewer of Catholocism, and to promulgate a subliminal pro-homosexual; pro-materialism; non-teleological; atheist agenda, by presenting discredited surveys and studies which support his questionable opinions and values. This Tlaloc, the name of an ancient Aztec diety of child sacrifice, in other posts has tolerated satanism, abortion, homosexual marriage, and anything else which is anti-Catholic but not in an objective academic fashion, but in a sarcastic and polemical fashion to promote his hedonistic and anti-Catholic agenda.
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Wow:whistle:
 
This thread may be too old to garner attention but I thought I would throw my two cents out.

I am sorry but I am not buying into the definition of Cohabitation. I am a female and I lived with my confirmation sponsor who also happened to be a male. We co lived in the same habitat so therefor we lived in cohabitation. People live together for many reason and ours was because we need a roommate during college. I don’t think it is fair to say that it is always a bad situation and leads people closer to sin. In my situation it did the opposite thing. We were at no time every sexually attracted to each other .He was the best roommate I every had. I grew so much in my faith that I wouldn’t have had the chance to if I didn’t live with him. One can’t beat those random 2am conversations about God or life. I also got great experience on how it is to live not just with a man but another person as an adult on your own. I grew up with 7 other people in the house so I know a thing or two about living with others but it is different when you live with someone as an adult You learn a lot about who you are and you learn to compromise about the bathroom, the cooking, the cars, the kitchen and chores. I have been able to carry what I learned into my current roommate situation (a girl) and I am no longer scared that I won’t be able to handle living with a man when I get married.

My suggest to this young man and anyone thinking of living together is.

1.) Don’t live with your girlfriend at all until you are married. Lots of reason but the number one is temptation and scandal. You guys could be the most devote people in the world but people are going to look at your situation and say your sinning. Sadly people judge. But they are not just judging you but your religion. If they know you are catholic then they may pull the whole “look at the person they are a sinner and the go to that church and are in good standing so therefore that church is full of hypocrites. I would never belong to a church like that!” I know this may not be your situation but you are a walking billboard for the faith. There are so many mis-conception about the Church that you might play into someone else conception instead of clearing it up.The devil is ALWAYS out to ruin anything that is close to GOD. He will try and try to tear down your relationship because you two will be working on building your relationship with each other and GOD. That makes him mad. You need to make sure you don’t walk into a situation were the devil can play with your emotions. Living together gives him great opportunities to get into your lives and start to play with them. Keep Temptation out!

2.) Waiting to live with someone make it more permanent. If you live with your love then their habits might become such a focus in your relationship that you start to fight and build resentments on those habits you find annoying. This could led to a deterioration of the relationship and ultimately the end of the relationship. Plus if you live together then why get married? You already have all the benefits what’s the point of moving it to the next step? I’ve had lots of friends get stuck in this phase. It’s kind of like a holding pattern and breeds resentment. It can and will effect your relationship.

3.) Don’t worry about jumping into marriage. There is no need if you guys are going to wait 5 years to get married then wait 5 years to live with each other. It can only better your relationship. You will learn to respect each other more and appreciate the time that you do have together. You will get to learn about each other in special ways. That doesn’t always happen when you live together. You kind of stop your growth and just become a “couple” and not two separate people with different lives. College is tough on your time, your mind and is a huge time of growth. Your views will change and the person you are will change. Believe me I am recently out of college and the person I was when I entered is someone I don’t know anymore or want to be. I’ve had so many life changing experience and spiritually encounters with people that I am a different person. Not better or worse just different. This is going to be a growing time. Enjoy it.

May God Bless you my fellow brother of Christ,

Beckers
 
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Tlaloc:
You are mistaking correlation with causation. Those who live together before marriage are more likely not to belong to restrictive religions which discourage divorce. Those who don’t live together are more likely to belong to such religions. In other words there are more factors than the simply equation you are drawing.

[not true, sadly just as many Catholic live together before marriage as non-Catholics, and their divorce rates and contraceptive use is just about the same as the rest of the population]

On the other hand I can point you to any number of benefits from living together before hand. Getting to actually know your prospective partner simply isn’t possible until you’ve actually lived with them. Everyone has habits they keep concealed from the public at large but cannot conceal from a housemate.

[getting to learn someone’s quirks can happen just as well at work or any other setting-read Dilbert. And that is not the same as growth in intimacy, which is stunted when sexual activity begins before marriage. then the physical relationship becomes a barrier to growth in emotional and intellectual intimacy. studies with people in my generation, the first to have experimented with this deadly theory, have proven that those who live together before marriage are far more likely to divorce, especially after 25 years or more of marriage]

Not in any tangible way and I don’t believe in your beliefs of the intangible so…
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in any case, living together before marriage almost always implies contraception, which is even more deadly since God is permanently barred from the relationship
 
To true, isn’t it interesting how one sin leads to another…
 
Well, I do believe it’s better to live apart until married. Even without sex, one had better made difference between marriage and lack thereof and stay away from filling the gaps with substitutes. It looks more proper to live apart if possible.

However, there are things that we need to bear in mind:
  1. No one is guilty because of accusation alone. If someone believes accusation defines guilt, what about our Lord Himself and the martyrs? I’m not drawing a parallel here, of course. I’m just showing how absurd it is to make no difference between a truthful accusation and a product of imagination, let alone malicious rumour.
  2. There is no way totally to eliminate temptation. Even locking oneself in his house and not talking to anyone won’t do the job. Is living together enough to tempt the couple into sex at some point? Likely yes, but not necessarily so. There are people who will have sex in a dancing club toilet when temptation comes and there are people who won’t do it if they sleep in the same bed. I’d rather not test my resistance, but there is no automatic link between living together and having sex.
There is some proof to the above in allowing re-married (civilly) divorcees to receive Communion if they undertake the obligation to live as brother and sister with the new (civil) spouse. This assumes the possibility of living together and abstaining. This assumption negates the existence of any automatic unconditional link between living together and having sex.

Also, the problem of scandal is less than precise. There are people who won’t assume the couple is having sex. Also, even such an assumption alone doesn’t make the sin of scandal because leading to evil is required. Some people won’t be led to evil even if they do assume sex is part of the couple’s relationship. There are also people who will assume sex taking place regardlessly of whether the couple lives in one house or not. So what? Should people not have relationships but just jump into marriage like, I don’t know, from a matching service or by random choice?

Sure, it’s prudent to know your limits and stay away from putting yourself in direct risk. It’s also prudent to avoid leading people into evil even by misconceptions they have about you. And it’s prudent to avoid people developing misconceptions about your faith from what they see in your behaviour. But don’t let us take this to absurd.
 
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