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Scott_Lafrance
Guest
That is the problem that I have with most modern governments. Becaue a few people are morons, they think they need to pass laws and treat us all like morons.
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LemonAndLime
Guest
Thank you
, I stand by my opinion of it, however.
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tomarin
Guest
I don’t know whether spanking can be called child abuse or not; but setting that issue aside, I’m pretty sure it just doesn’t work as a method of discipline, and it’s old-fashioned and unnecessary as well as ineffective.
It’s problematic because some kids have a higher threshhold to pain than others and if they have a stubborn personality they will probably simply take the pain of a spanking rather than back down. What do you do with those kids? The only answer would be spank them harder, until you find a level of pain that has an effect on them. This really could bleed into (pun unintentional) real child abuse at some point. And what do you do if you never find that level? There’s no answer.
It also sends a message to the child that it’s okay to use violence to solve problems. And furthermore I’m convinced it makes the adult lose control of a discipline situation because it will inflame his own emotions, inevitably. The more you lose your cool in such a situation, the less power you actually have over your child’s behavior (and the more they sense that and use it to your disadvantage).
I used to be fairly lenient about spanking and thought it could be okay if used sparingly. Now that I have children of my own and have to control their behavior on a daily basis I don’t see any use for it whatsoever. Plus if I had to physically hurt my children to get them to do what I wanted, I’m pretty sure I would have mixed feelings of guilt and shame after it was all over and done.
It’s problematic because some kids have a higher threshhold to pain than others and if they have a stubborn personality they will probably simply take the pain of a spanking rather than back down. What do you do with those kids? The only answer would be spank them harder, until you find a level of pain that has an effect on them. This really could bleed into (pun unintentional) real child abuse at some point. And what do you do if you never find that level? There’s no answer.
It also sends a message to the child that it’s okay to use violence to solve problems. And furthermore I’m convinced it makes the adult lose control of a discipline situation because it will inflame his own emotions, inevitably. The more you lose your cool in such a situation, the less power you actually have over your child’s behavior (and the more they sense that and use it to your disadvantage).
I used to be fairly lenient about spanking and thought it could be okay if used sparingly. Now that I have children of my own and have to control their behavior on a daily basis I don’t see any use for it whatsoever. Plus if I had to physically hurt my children to get them to do what I wanted, I’m pretty sure I would have mixed feelings of guilt and shame after it was all over and done.
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LemonAndLime
Guest
Completely agree.
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Scott_Lafrance
Guest
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pnewton
Guest
It is you who are using words for emotional purposes. Your condemnation of right-wing rhetoric is blatant hypocrisy. Tend your own beam. I do not engage in rhetorical nonsense and have no use for it.
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pnewton
Guest
I suspect that we have a division between those who raise children and those who have not yet reached that stage in life.As the father of 5, I completely disagree.
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Raskolnikov
Guest
I can’t say I have a definite opinion one way or the other. I was spanked as a child, and well I suppose I can’t really say how it effected me compared with other people. Kind of difficult to compare objectively. I do know that my worst memories of my parents’ actions (they’re good parents, of course, but imperfect ones) were not of them spanking me.
I think though that other punishments would be sufficient substitutes for spanking. My experience with immature kids and young adults (my peers) leads me to believe that faults common among them have less to do with a lack of spanking than with a lack of discipline entirely. Some parents generally let their kids run wild, and occasionally spank them, but otherwise don’t discipline them almost at all. I doubt it needs to be spanking.
Actually, the most poignant punishment I remember, that made the most impression on me, was a “five minute time-out” imposed by my mother. Problem is, after she put me in my room (I’m not sure how old I was, maybe 6 or 7), went back to work (she worked at home) and forgot about it; so I just sat in my room for a while, maybe an hour, thinking “geez, this five minutes seems to be lasting forever.” I apparently hadn’t learned to calibrate time well enough to realize that it had been well over five minutes. It was quite a grueliong time-out. I can’t remember what I did wrong, but I doubt I did it again soon after that.
I think though that other punishments would be sufficient substitutes for spanking. My experience with immature kids and young adults (my peers) leads me to believe that faults common among them have less to do with a lack of spanking than with a lack of discipline entirely. Some parents generally let their kids run wild, and occasionally spank them, but otherwise don’t discipline them almost at all. I doubt it needs to be spanking.
Actually, the most poignant punishment I remember, that made the most impression on me, was a “five minute time-out” imposed by my mother. Problem is, after she put me in my room (I’m not sure how old I was, maybe 6 or 7), went back to work (she worked at home) and forgot about it; so I just sat in my room for a while, maybe an hour, thinking “geez, this five minutes seems to be lasting forever.” I apparently hadn’t learned to calibrate time well enough to realize that it had been well over five minutes. It was quite a grueliong time-out. I can’t remember what I did wrong, but I doubt I did it again soon after that.
Well you can solve that problem by inventing the moron-detector to make detecting morons a simple task.
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bbarrick8383
Guest
To me it’s not about making my child feel pain. If that were the goal, I’d use the belt like my father did. Where my father fell short was in showing his emotions to me as well. No anger, but not much love either. He’s just one of those guys, a farmers tan and calloused hands. Me, I show my son how much I love him. The spanking isn’t to hurt him physically but to show him that his behavior hurt me emotionally.
The few times that I have spanked my son I’ve sat down with him and explained to him why I spanked him, that I did not want to spank him and in one way or another express that he hurt my feelings by misbehaving. We never let the spankings go without a long talk about his behavior and punishment.
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pnewton
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If you are ever in a situation of parenting, I think God gives you insight and help, if you are living a life open to God. I agree about subsitutes for spanking, or any punishment. There is something to be said, in my opinion, for varying punishment, and for keeping the more severe punishments in reserve for topics that need quick and drastic attention. If a child does something either very dangerous, or downright evil, then it needs a punishment that is different than routine to drive home the seriousness of action. Also, even routine correction is rendered less effective if the child become desensitized.I think though that other punishments would be sufficient substitutes for spanking.
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