Communion alone is ‘not the solution’ for divorced and re-married Catholics, says Pope Francis

[mgoforth]

It’s real easy to say, hey, too bad, your spouse left you, now go and live half a life, than it is to do it.

That’s not what the Church says, though. She says, in the words of Christ:

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

IMO, part of this argument that the remarried should receive Communion is choosing to ignore that particular cross. The point of this life, according to Jesus anyway, isn’t to get everything we want and be perfectly content. The point is to accept what comes our way with faith. There were times when Christ enjoyed life and thanked God for it - there were times when Christ suffered and again He thanked God for it. One thing Christ never said was “this isn’t fair”…and there were opportunities where He could have said that.

The remarried should go through the steps to seek an annulment (which few actually do) and then have faith in God that the decision of the tribunal is His will for them. If they’re meant to live the rest of their lives in an unmarried state, who are we to argue with the will of God?

 

[mgoforth]

Again, this is an unbalanced view I think. The person has been remarried for 20 years with children and she is still his “mistress”? Her first husband found himself another woman and left her for the other person. They didn’t start dating until after the divorce was final. And now she’s his 20 year adulterous mistress who really is in the same category as hitmen and abortionists? There is something seriously wrong here. I think I’d be a little less presumptuous in saying how God sees this situation.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8

Two points based on what you said:

1. 
   *]"…after the divorce was final" is referring to a civil classification. Laws of the state don’t matter much in the end. Slavery was once legal, abortion is legal today, etc. On the other hand, the Sacrament of Marriage (if valid) can only be dissolved by death as I’m sure you know. So yes, she is still his mistress - even after 70 years or 15 children.
   *]Not all mortal sins are equally grave, but they’re all mortal. If a mortal sinner remains unrepentant they will end up in Hell as you also know. In that regard she would be in the same category as murderers, certainly.

 

[bisco1]

now what if they allow the divorced and remarried to receive communion, and they get divorced and remarried?

 

[Seraphim73]

It’s not unbalanced. The motives would be different, but the actions are the same. Having sex with someone who is not your spouse, regardless of your motives or fidelity to the person who isn’t your spouse, is adultry. The civil divorce is irrelevant, because it has no affect on sacramental marriage.

No presumption involved. It is spelled out in Jesus’s own words.

But it is their spouse. They’ve been married for 20 years in the example.

 

[Phil502]

Since when is living alone, half a life?? I have been alone for over 30 years( by death, not divorce) and I do not consider my life a half life. I have been alone longer than I was married,(18 years). I have a very full life with my family and faith.I attended daily Mass for 40 years and still do, taught CCD for over 20 years. I was fairly young when widowed and spent my time raising my children and later babysitting my grandchildren while their mothers worked. No day cares for them. I enjoyed every minute of it and am very close to all my grandkids. Being alone does not mean setting around feeling sorry for oneself. I kept busy and thanked God for all my Blessings. God Bless, memaw

That was your choice, I would consider it, for myself, less than a full life. Evidentally other people are of both opinions. You state you have children and grandchildren, that is not the case for all of us. God Bless you too!

 

[Seraphim73]

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8

Two points based on what you said:

1. 
   *]"…after the divorce was final" is referring to a civil classification. Laws of the state don’t matter much in the end. Slavery was once legal, abortion is legal today, etc. On the other hand, the Sacrament of Marriage (if valid) can only be dissolved by death as I’m sure you know. So yes, she is still his mistress - even after 70 years or 15 children.
   *]Not all mortal sins are equally grave, but they’re all mortal. If a mortal sinner remains unrepentant they will end up in Hell as you also know. In that regard she would be in the same category as murderers, certainly.

1. 
   I’m afraid this kind of thinking is just going to drive more and more people away from the Church. Thankfully it seems the hierarchy may finally be coming to their senses.

 

[Phil502]

That’s not what the Church says, though. She says, in the words of Christ:

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."

IMO, part of this argument that the remarried should receive Communion is choosing to ignore that particular cross. The point of this life, according to Jesus anyway, isn’t to get everything we want and be perfectly content. The point is to accept what comes our way with faith. There were times when Christ enjoyed life and thanked God for it - there were times when Christ suffered and again He thanked God for it. One thing Christ never said was “this isn’t fair”…and there were opportunities where He could have said that.

The remarried should go through the steps to seek an annulment (which few actually do) and then have faith in God that the decision of the tribunal is His will for them. If they’re meant to live the rest of their lives in an unmarried state, who are we to argue with the will of God?

I think threre should be forgiveness, yes divorce is bad, I get it. Some of us have it thrust upon us. You easily condemn for life someone who made a mistake. A murderer repents and kills no more, he’s forgiven. A divorced person has no true forgiveness, the sin is never over, they can’t move on to their normal state. They are asked to live without, forever, it’s not the same. You have no way of knowing what God really thinks of all that, no way.

 

[bisco1]

we do have Jesus’ words, what else is needed? we’re only concerned for your eternal destination.

 

[Seraphim73]

we do have Jesus’ words, what else is needed? we’re only concerned for your eternal destination.

Unfortunately many people misunderstand His words. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many different Christian groups.

 

[ProVobis]

That was your choice, I would consider it, for myself, less than a full life.

In other words, “tough luck” in not finding a suitable partner? I see this as a rather pompous remark. This attitude doesn’t help your cause since it can only divide from those who don’t see it as a choice at all.

 

[Dawnia]

I think threre should be forgiveness, yes divorce is bad, I get it. Some of us have it thrust upon us. You easily condemn for life someone who made a mistake. A murderer repents and kills no more, he’s forgiven. A divorced person has no true forgiveness, the sin is never over, they can’t move on to their normal state. They are asked to live without, forever, it’s not the same. You have no way of knowing what God really thinks of all that, no way.

Simply being civilly divorced is not a sin. Committing adultry is a sin, which is what someone who is already married does when they have sex with someone who is not their husband without benefit of an annulment.

Just as the murderer who repents and sins no more, the adulterer can do the same.

 

[bisco1]

zackly. if the sinner keeps sinning with no change of heart, eventually it becomes a problem.

 

[bisco1]

Unfortunately many people misunderstand His words. Otherwise there wouldn’t be so many different Christian groups.

that’s why we have the catholic church, who Jesus gave authority to bind and loose, and to forgive sins.

 

[tigerprowl]

This topic is really interesting to me, since it relates to my situation. What’s more interesting is the way we tend to look at others and draw hard lines without understanding exactly what that person has gone through.

True, there are many Catholics who divorced willingly and knowingly. There are also those that didn’t. Thirteen years ago, my wife of nine months left me for another man. I actually tried to save my marriage, yet had to divorce. She was not reconciling. She was not having it any other way. Those vows she spoke meant - well, nothing to her.

I spent most of my time (until this past year) away from the Church, completely frustrated with the judgmental tone of others. While I never would say that I abandoned my faith, I certainly stayed bitter for a very long time. I have since remarried. i have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful wife, also divorced. She was a victim of an abuser. If she had stayed in her first marriage (not a Catholic one, not that it matters), one of them would have died. Yes, it was that bad.

And now… now, I have fully invested myself into approaching the tribunal in my diocese to seek an annulment, followed by convalidation of my marriage. I will not allow comparisons that categorize my sins on par with murderers, rapists, and child molesters.

Coming back to the Church is a wonderful journey. The hardest part for those who are divorced and remarried is having to accept ridicule. But, it happens. Human nature. My response to that is simple - i will not act in kind. Who am I to ridicule your mortal sin? i have to confess my mortal sins, and not partake in Communion.

This is complicated territory for both parties - the Church, and divorced remarried Catholics on the other. People like me are not attempting in any shape or form to change church doctrine. We would like to see a change in procedure, however. That comes from living day by day knowing that our marriage is invalid. That married couples commit mortal sin every single day in regards to their vows and still are regarded valid in the eyes of the Church. Marriages between two non-Christians are also seen as valid. Yes, we are truly dead last on the proverbial marital ladder. It doesn’t get much worse than this.

I don’t have much of a point, aside from the fact that this is a really, really tough journey and steps can certainly be taken to make this journey filled with less heartache and peril.

I continue to pray for those who judge me.

 

[Memaw]

That was your choice, I would consider it, for myself, less than a full life. Evidentally other people are of both opinions. You state you have children and grandchildren, that is not the case for all of us. God Bless you too!

Over the years I have known several people, men and women that were never married, (no children) and yet live full lives and are very content. And many widowed that remained that way. and I’ve known a few that were married and very unhappy. We have to learn to deal with life as it comes to us and do the best we can. With God’s help we can over come many difficulties. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Dawnia]

This topic is really interesting to me, since it relates to my situation. What’s more interesting is the way we tend to look at others and draw hard lines without understanding exactly what that person has gone through.

True, there are many Catholics who divorced willingly and knowingly. There are also those that didn’t. Thirteen years ago, my wife of nine months left me for another man. I actually tried to save my marriage, yet had to divorce. She was not reconciling. She was not having it any other way. Those vows she spoke meant - well, nothing to her.

I spent most of my time (until this past year) away from the Church, completely frustrated with the judgmental tone of others. While I never would say that I abandoned my faith, I certainly stayed bitter for a very long time. I have since remarried. i have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful wife, also divorced. She was a victim of an abuser. If she had stayed in her first marriage (not a Catholic one, not that it matters), one of them would have died. Yes, it was that bad.

And now… now, I have fully invested myself into approaching the tribunal in my diocese to seek an annulment, followed by convalidation of my marriage. I will not allow comparisons that categorize my sins on par with murderers, rapists, and child molesters.

Coming back to the Church is a wonderful journey. The hardest part for those who are divorced and remarried is having to accept ridicule. But, it happens. Human nature. My response to that is simple - i will not act in kind. Who am I to ridicule your mortal sin? i have to confess my mortal sins, and not partake in Communion.

This is complicated territory for both parties - the Church, and divorced remarried Catholics on the other. People like me are not attempting in any shape or form to change church doctrine. We would like to see a change in procedure, however. That comes from living day by day knowing that our marriage is invalid. That married couples commit mortal sin every single day in regards to their vows and still are regarded valid in the eyes of the Church. Marriages between two non-Christians are also seen as valid. Yes, we are truly dead last on the proverbial marital ladder. It doesn’t get much worse than this.

I don’t have much of a point, aside from the fact that this is a really, really tough journey and steps can certainly be taken to make this journey filled with less heartache and peril.

I continue to pray for those who judge me.

There are always those people who like to think themselves more holy than others. We are all blind to our own sins sometimes. (not me of course, I’m perfect ) All we can do is pray. It really must be miserible to live that way.

I commend you for your efforts to try and reconcile with God. (There, I judged you ) I think people are much kinder and helpful when they know you’re trying to make things right. But, in truth, Being right with God is the thing you need to worry about. Everything else is window dressing.

 

[Seraphim73]

that’s why we have the catholic church, who Jesus gave authority to bind and loose, and to forgive sins.

There are several “Catholic” Churches my friend and they don’t all agree.

 

[ProVobis]

I don’t have much of a point, aside from the fact that this is a really, really tough journey and steps can certainly be taken to make this journey filled with less heartache and peril.

I continue to pray for those who judge me.

As I’ve stated elsewhere, we are undergoing much-needed learning of the psychology of marriage, cohabitation, and relationships in general. The annulment process is taking into consideration new experiences every day. There is no one rule regarding acceptance or rejection but continue to keep the faith. Be assured no matter what, the Church isn’t condemning anyone to Hell, even though she asks people in sin to abstain from sacramental communion. But you knew that already.

 

[bisco1]

There are several “Catholic” Churches my friend and they don’t all agree.

 

[Memaw]

As I’ve stated elsewhere, we are undergoing much-needed learning of the psychology of marriage, cohabitation, and relationships in general. The annulment process is taking into consideration new experiences every day. There is no one rule regarding acceptance or rejection but continue to keep the faith. Be assured no matter what, the Church isn’t condemning anyone to Hell, even though she asks people in sin to abstain from sacramental communion. But you knew that already.

The Church never condemns anyone to Hell, we do that to ourselves. That is known only to God and the person who died. The Church guides us in a way that leads us to God’s will. The Church cannot change God’s will, she protects it and teaches us how to live according to His Will. If we are hoping for the Church to say it’s OK for us to sin, no need to change our ways, I’m afraid we will be very disappointed. God Bless, Memaw