Communion dresses

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It really blows my mind that people would be this hung up over whether to wear slacks or a dress, as I wear both of them with ease ever since I was a teenager. I was a little bit more fond of pants as a child because I was a hefty kid and the dresses of the time were tight and scratchy and often required to be fitted on me which involved standing still and more tight and scratchy pins. But it wasn’t that big of a deal that I was going to have a trauma or tantrum over it. It was just another dumb thing adults made me do, of which there was a long list.

Whatever, there’s all kinds of people in the world. Like I said, if your kid doesn’t want to follow a dress code or you don’t like the dress code for some reason, I’m sure you can find a way for them to make their First Communion outside of the mass celebration event with a dress code.
 
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HomeschoolDad said:
When my niece in Poland received her first communion (16 years ago), all of the communicants were dressed in unisex albs with, IIRC, golden cinctures around the waist. This was done to eliminate the opportunity for rivalry between wealthy people who could afford finery for their children, and poorer people who couldn’t. Personally I think it was a nice touch. Is this done anywhere in North America?
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I’ve only seen this once, but it was a middle class neighborhood where everybody could afford a fancy white dress.
So the moms bought white dresses to wear under the robes and took their “real” pictures in the dresses.
 
I was answeing someone else who said letting children do what they want is not a good thing. I agree, in some cases.
In this case, which is about forcing a child to wear something they don’t want to, purely because of “tradition”, I do not agree that the issue should be forced. This day is about a childs connection with Jesus Christ, not what they are wearing.
 
There are no regulations about this sort of thing, because the Church doesn’t concern itself with these kinds of details.

Individual priests / parishes may have their own preferences, but that is all there is to it.
Better that your daughter concentrate on Whom she is about to receive, than her preference to wear a suit and, quite possibly, drawn attention away from First Communion and onto herself inadvertently.
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Often during a baptism, I preach about the baptismal gown that the baby is wearing. Clothed with the purity and innocence of her new life in Christ she put on this beautiful garment. When she is seven, she will put on another beautiful white garment to receive the King of the Universe. And yet again, during Matrimony a beautiful white dress as she is joined to her husband. Even when she falls asleep in the Lord, her coffin will be draped with a white pall - that same innocence and baptismal beauty throughout her whole sacramental life. That sort of thing.

Holy things for the holy,
Deacon Christopher
 
CilladeRoma said:
We are talking about forcing a child to dress in a specific manner because it’s “tradition”.
We are not talking about not letting a child do something that would be detrimental to them.
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I disagree. Forcing a child to dress one way every single day, might not be ok. But forcing them to dress a specific way on special occasions… yes it’s a good thing.

We are not talking about a 16 year old. We are talking about a 7 year old. 7 year olds should NOT be allowed to get their way all the time. There is nothing wrong with forcing a 7 year old to abide by cultural norms & traditions.

Now - with that said, the mother can do what she feels is best. But if mom decides to force her child to wear the dress, it would NOT be wrong.

God Bless
 
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Dlee said:
Please take the time to check with your Parish - just remember this happened:
Girl, 9, denied first communion for planning to wear pantsuit

Sometimes what is right/wrong still happens.
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Disgusting article. The parents don’t like what the Parish says so instead of simply going to another Church, they make it national news by going to NBC.

What great Catholics they are. 😦

If a priest really ticked me off to the point where I wanted him to “pay,” I would call the bishop. Not the media. 😤
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
But it wasn’t that big of a deal that I was going to have a trauma or tantrum over it.
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Same.

My sis (18 mos younger) and I were dressed alike for church, which for us was almost every day. There was one pair of dresses we complained about because they were itchy. Did not matter, we wore them each time they came up in the repertoire. This idea that children today are so fragile they will have eternal damage over a slight discomfort is odd.

Anyway, some people have made FHC clothing into a socio-political thing, so, as I keep advising, learn the dress code for your Diocese/Parish now. Shop accordingly. This won’t be the first dress code in life.
 
I do not like micro-management, especially when it comes to the Sacraments.

There is no theological or religious reason why a female child should have to look like a little bride to receive her first Communion. There is no theological reason to have a cadre of little girls & boys in fancy white clothes for 2 hours.

If a parent/child wants to dress that way, fine. But no family should be forced to spend money on a dress/suit that will be worn once because of some perceived aesthetic value.
 
TheLittleLady said:
This idea that children today are so fragile they will have eternal damage over a slight discomfort is odd.
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It’s not about being “fragile”. Actually, I find that quite insulting. It is about arbitrary rules for what to satisfy someone else’s perceptions.
And the idea that a priest/religious ed leader would tell a parent that they must follow some arbitrary rule or else not be able to receive at Mass with their friends is disgusting.
 
I’d like to wear my pajamas to work, but, there is a dress code.

The Church, the Bishop, the Parish, institutes a dress code for many reasons. One is to prevent immodesty or over out of place clothing (think that TV show about little girls in beauty pagents with fake tans and false eyelashes).
 
TheLittleLady said:
(think that TV show about little girls in beauty pagents with fake tans and false eyelashes).
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This is exactly what I have seen in little girls for their first communions and why I am turned off so much by it.

In my area, it has taken on a life of its own. Last year, we had little girls in dresses that cost hundreds of dollars, with perfectly coiffed up-dos and make-up! 7-year-olds!

I’m sorry, it is unnecessary, and to have this condoned and enforced by the Pastor is just beyond the pale, IMHO.
 
CilladeRoma said:
I’m sorry, it is unnecessary, and to have this condoned and enforced by the Pastor is just beyond the pale, IMHO.
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In my experience, the dress code is to prevent such excess.

No cosmetics/makeup is part of the dress code.
 
The Eucharist has a nuptial dimension in Christ, in much the same way as Baptism is about death and rebirth into Christ. The Eucharist now is a foretaste of the Wedding Feast of the Lamb, at the end of time.

So it is custom in Europe and elsewhere that girls dress up like Christ’s Bride, the Church. I do not know when that started, but French materials showed white bride dresses and veils on First Communion girls almost as soon as brides started wearing white, in the 19th century. What people did before, I do not know.

(If you want your little girl to grow up dreaming of getting married in a pantsuit… Well, geez, even then there is such a thing as lace and veils. But I was a tomboy, and even I wanted the white dress for FHC.)

Boys dress up as Jesus the Bridegroom. It is just not as obvious; because a groom can wear a dark suit, but so do other men in formal situations. Filipino-American boys often wear those formal shirts that are like suits in the old country.

Wearing albs is acceptable, as it is the vestment of any baptized Christian; but it wimps out on the nuptial dimension. Any formal clothing is also acceptable, but… Why ruin the symbolism, and yet want to have your kid make FHC in the same Mass?. Informal clothing is rude, but does not invalidate anything… But again, why? Even inexpensive clothing can show care.

If you do not want the symbolism, any day can be your child’s FHC – just ask the pastor and do the records paperwork.

So yes, there is a theological and religious reason.
 
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This sounds like your parish’s dress code. At my church, everyone in the 3rd grade first communion class wore white vestments borrowed from the parish. You’d have to ask your CCD director.
 
Mintaka said:
So yes, there is a theological and religious reason
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Then why, when adults come into the Church via RCIA do, we not require them to wear white clothing?

In my diocese, only a couple of parishes, who perform full immersion for adults, require a white alb, but that is only to have over their shorts & T-shirt they wear to be fully immersed. After the Baptism portion of the rite, the folks change into regular clothes. No requirement at all for it to be white.

And, it is a very Euro-centric way of thinking. In the East, white is a color of mourning, while red is the color of celebration. I remember attending a First Communion Mass at a family friend’s parish in Chinatown. Everyone was dressed in red. Being that we are the US, and a melting pot of ethnicities and traditions, it would be most prudent to just say “Sunday Best” and leave it at that.
 
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