Comparing illness to a mortal sin

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pulchraesamicamea

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Hello friends, I’m posting this on here because my heart is going to explode.

Today, someone I know well told me, “Aren’t you going to confession today?”
I said, “No, not this Sunday; I do not think I have committed any mortal sins that I know of.”
He said to me, “Well, your disability (or illness) is a mortal sin since you’re bothering your parents with it, and also you’re causing financial burden to your family.” He also told me that because I’m not cured as of yet, it means that I’m causing a mortal sin on my soul.
I said, “Well, I’m not being sick on purpose.” I also defined the definition of mortal sin for him: that, it has to be a grave manner, and done by intention.
He said, “Oh, you can’t take a joke! It was only a joke, you silly one.”

I don’t really think it’s ok to joke about mortal sins, especially comparing my disability to a mortal sin.

I honestly don’t know what to think about this. Am I overreacting?
I couldn’t focus at all at Mass today because of it, and my thoughts often led me away from focusing. I just want to think that I’m sensitive and I shouldn’t care much about it.

What are your thoughts?
Thank you.
 
pulchraesamicamea said:
I honestly don’t know what to think about this. Am I overreacting?
I couldn’t focus at all at Mass today because of it, and my thoughts often led me away from focusing. I just want to think that I’m sensitive and I shouldn’t care much about it.
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I think that guy was a jerk at worst, insensitive at best, and in need of prayers nonetheless. You’re not in mortal sin, be at peace. I’d suggest you pray for that man to be more charitable.
 
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What a vile thing for him to say! And to dismiss your feelings as a joke when you called him out on it is especially horrible. Honestly, I would distance myself from him.

You’re absolutely not being sensitive.
 
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I don’t know if this person is an uninformed boob or vile and mean spirited. He seems to be the one in desperate need of reconciliation.

Prayers for your health and to be at peace from this violent attack.
 
This guy is not your friend. He is wrong, and mean-spirited to boot. Pray for him. But frankly, I would cut contact with him. You don’t need to be attacked like that.
 
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Your friend acted like a jerk. If he’s otherwise a decent person, maybe give him a pass and assume it was just a case of an ill-conceived joke. If he routinely does stuff like this, I’d question whether you want to continue hanging out with him.
 
Do you know this person?

Honestly, I hope you feel strong enough to tell your Pastor what this person said. This is beyond the pale, and this person needs to be corrected. If they are telling you cruel lies about sin, they are telling others cruel “jokes” as well.

I wish I could hug you. You are a loved child of God.

Next time someone asks you about confession, smile and say “it is absolutely none of your business”.
 
You have done nothing wrong this man is the one who needs prayer. I pray for God to heal you and put your mind at ease and whether or not you are at confession is no ones SC business it is between you and God.
 
A friend of mine in college got a kick out of jabbing at the Catholic faith any chance he got. He once saw my Catholic books and said “so that’s your dogma shelf”, with the word “dogma” said in a snide, mocking tone. Another time he said “the thing about pro-life women is that they’re women you wouldn’t want to sleep with in the first place!” (though he used a stronger term than “sleep with”). In his defense, he did want to go to midnight Christmas Mass with me one year, said he found it very beautiful and edifying, was offended by not being able to receive communion but complied with the Church’s discipline nonetheless.

Some people get a charge out of making little digs at Catholicism, possibly because they deep down see some truth to it, and mocking it makes them feel better. Or perhaps they sincerely believe we are too strict and want to say something that reflects their disagreement.

Either way, he is now deceased, died far too young. I suppose he has his answers now. Requiescat in pace.
 
You don’t need confession, that jerk does. It is not OK to joke about those kinds of things. I am sorry he said this to you, pray for him
 
Is your friend usually an idiot with chronic foot-in-mouth disease?
Some people just say dumb things.
Other people don’t actually have malice, but they also don’t have a filter.

You’d have to look at your relationship with him in general.
 
The person’s statement is complete baloney, is highly insensitive and very inappropriate. Of course it is also contrary to Church teaching, as you know. Your illness/ disability is outside your control and the fact that it causes burdens for you or your parents doesn’t make it a sin, much less a mortal sin.

I would suggest that you pray for this person, put this out of your mind, and limit your contact with this person going forward.
If he pesters you about your lack of attention to him, you can tell him that you don’t think what he said was a joking matter, that it was contrary to Church teaching and that it was hurtful. And leave it at that.
 
The nagging about your disability was insensitive, yes. Joking about mortal sin was just ridiculous, so I wouldn’t personally take any offense to that apart from the disability bit. If he’s a close friend of yours (as I think you implied?) it’s possible he just didn’t think too much before opening his mouth. In my opinion, everyone on this thread who are dismissing this guy out of hand as if he’s Hitler are definitely jumping to conclusions. (How old/mature is this person? Is he socially awkward or just bad at taking social cues?) None of us have the proper context from your post to make that judgement. I would only distance myself if it this guy repeatedly did things like this after you made it clear that it wasn’t appreciated.
 
That would be my approach too. It’s entirely possible that he just didn’t think it through before he opened his mouth. It was an idiotic thing to say, but there’s not enough context here to determine if the remark was actually mean-spirited or not.
 
Here’s the thing, everyone. It’s actually my dad who has said it. That is why it made me feel so hurt.

I didn’t want to say it was my dad because I wanted to save his identity, and I love him a lot. He’s the best dad that I could ever imagine. However, I felt that, after years of suffering with this disease, he just got tired and decided to tell me this joke to let out his thoughts. I mean, he can tell me whatever he wants, even the most hurtful things; I wanted to clearly state that he should not joke about a mortal sin.

I don’t blame him. It did cause a lot of financial burden and I’ve fought with him a lot.

The Bible says “honour your parents”. However, I guess I’m also a human and I get hurt. I still love him immensely and he has done a lot for our family, but this comment by him lingers with me to this day. I cannot help but feel like I am an actual burden. I only hope that I’m overreacting.
 
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