Complimenting women

  • Thread starter Thread starter Batman2.0
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
So I would consider the modern Joe Biden not smooth socially, if that helps clarify. I don’t impugn intent in any way, he just gaffs quite a bit, words come out bumbled sometimes.
 
But she still thinks the better with makeup comment is an insult.

It may or may not be an insult, it could just be a clumsy compliment, but people dont really want to hear it.

I mean, if I’m totally honest, most men would look better with makeup too. A little eyeliner, the no-makeup makeup look? Would benefit a lot of men.
 
Do you think Mi Rose has a need to be an emotional victim, whatever that is?
 
You would have to ask her.

As for me, I don’t understand why people choose to be insulted when someone compliments them.
 
Last edited:
So recognizing that comment as an insult means I’m an “emotional vivtim” when it’s directed at someone else?
 
By whoever is hearing it no matter who it’s directed toward. Where I hear an insult or poorly worded “compliment” I can have empathy to whom it’s directed.

I can also have empathy for the person saying it. I’ve said awkward things that were meant well. I also know that someone who intends to insult is damaged in some way, if they need to deliberately hurt others.
 
If one knows the person and their attitude.

A coworker tried to compliment my purse. She chirped, “The color is ugly but you like it!” I knew she wasn’t trying to be insulting because I don’t believe she was used to saying anything positive about others, so compliments came out badly.

Some people are just mean and like to see the reaction or gain satisfaction from a dig at another person.
 
RuthAnne said:
And can read their mind.
Click to expand...
I’m not talking about reading minds but reading a person or reading the room as they say. Some people are very poor at it while others seem to read minds.
RuthAnne said:
Why would you allow someone to offend you about your purse, dress, makeup or anything else?

Being offended is a choice.
Click to expand...
Ah, there is that word “offended” again. Not every unwanted, behavior is about being offended.

And please recall, I wasn’t offended, or insulted about my coworker’s comment, if that wasnt clear. It might not be clear to someone who thinks everyone else besides them is sees offence everywhere. I wouldn’t want to be so hardened.
 
Mi_Rose said:
just a woman who knows she looks just fine with or without makeup and has chosen after wearing it for many years not to wear it. What is on my face says nothing about who I am.
Click to expand...
excellent discussion starting at 5:00 on wearing makeup

 
And look at all the ads on TV about male hair restoration products and procedures. On the other hand, some men deliberately shave their heads. Seems hair, or lack thereof, is among the more important self-esteem issues with men. Toupees are a big thing with some men who either can’t afford to or don’t wish to go the regrowth or replacement route.
 
Bruised_Reed said:
And please recall, I wasn’t offended, or insulted about my coworker’s comment, if that wasnt clear. It might not be clear to someone who thinks everyone else besides them is sees offence everywhere. I wouldn’t want to be so hardened.
Click to expand...
It was clear. I should have made that statement more general. Why would anyone be offended? I can’t get past the point where someone says it’s insulting to say you look good in makeup. How is that an insult? Do women put on makeup to look like mud shovels?
 
RuthAnne said:
Why would anyone be offended? I can’t get past the point where someone says it’s insulting to say you look good in makeup. How is that an insult? Do women put on makeup to look like mud shovels?
Click to expand...
I can see how the reference to the makeup diverts from the total “package” and might leave one thinking its the makeup that did the trick. And without the makeup… So yes, I can see how a person receiving that statement might infer the person saying it sees a notable difference between “with makeup” and without, thus implying one is significantly less pretty without the makeup. So, I could see why the original statement might at best be regarded as clumsy and at worst as a little insulting (or inappropriately critical).
 
Last edited:
RuthAnne said:
40.png
LilyM:
Men have the same sort of foibles, usually about other topics than makeup. “That expensive suit/watch/pair of shoes looks great on you” may well be seen to imply that said gentleman would likely not get the same enthusiastic response if he wore budget brands.
Click to expand...
My husband got a very nice, very expensive pair of cowboy boots and received a lot of compliments about them. He never got complimented on his budget brand pair. He took no offense. He was always pleased and always shared it with me as a way of saying thank you. I bought them for him.
Click to expand...
Hence why I said “most” instead of “all”. Of course there are those who are less prone, for whatever reason, to take on board what advertisers are trying to tell us. More power to them. A lot aren’t so immune, not necessarily through any fault of theirs.

Please don’t try to extrapolate from your and your husband’s individual anecdotal experiences or behaviour to how everyone is or should be.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top