Complimenting women

  • Thread starter Thread starter Batman2.0
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
I will continue to be polite also, regardless of the response. (Always good so far) I think what bothers me is this: She felt belittled or wronged somehow by the person opening the door. Instead of just walking through or telling the person, she felt the need to announce loudly. When a person responds to a kindness with aggression, they have an issue.
Almost as if, “He’s doing this for me because he thinks I’m incapable of doing it myself!” I have had men, and women hold doors for me. Say “Thank you” and go on. Sometimes a kindness is just that. (I know of one person where this does not apply)
Dominus vobiscum
 
Last edited:
I read most of the thread yesterday so this may have been covered but please don’t compliment a woman you don’t know. I mean , for example, a woman you see at work but don’t work with or a woman at the store. And to you older men who think you are allowed to compliment and flirt with women because you are old, please don’t.
Sincerely,
A Woman who is old too
 
This post reminds me of a recent reddit post. A man told his new colleague (in a male dominated office) that she had pretty eyes, and when everyone was discussing work related issues and she gave some valuable insight, he commented something along the lines of ‘wow she’s smart AND pretty!’ that caused everyone to laugh. She then complained to HR and he still doesn’t see how both comments were way too inappropriate.

Compliments in the workplace that’s not about work ability or personality seem like a dumb idea, unless your idea is to flirt. “Wow! Great job on the presentation!” will be received a lot more positively then “Wow! That blouse looks good on you”. An ex boss of mine was Caucasian (mentioned due to cultural difference), and he was very sociable. He would compliment us enthusiastically about the way we managed the store and it would strangely brighten up my day.

I think it’s bizarre that people want to blame this on the Metoo movement. This is just common sense here. It seems like everyone wants a slice of the victimhood pie, as my dad would say, lol.

That being said, it may also depend on the age of the woman. Many older women don’t mind compliments about their looks, while younger women may feel uncomfortable.

As for compliments outside the workplace, most women would generally accept it as long as it’s delivered well, and that there is some sort of a rapport.

I think men may not necessarily understand this issue because they don’t usually get compliments from the other sex, and they would be thrilled to receive some of them even in a non romantic context. That’s understandable.
Batman2.0 said:
Is that a good and virtuous thing for Catholic men to do? And of course, I am talking about appropriate compliments. Thank you all so much!
Click to expand...
As for the main question, it’s virtuous as long as you don’t have some sort of ulterior motive. Safest bet is to compliment her on her ability to do something, to see how she would react. There’s nothing sinful in wanting to make someone smile
 
To add to the subject of politeness, I once had a five-year-old little boy open the door for me as I entered our local grocery store. What a perfect little gentleman! I thanked him and told him he was a nice little gentleman. I think his mother may have been close by, not sure. Nice that he was being taught such a gracious habit at that very young age.
 
Agreed. I think that the problem is that some men don’t know the difference between complimenting, flirting, and sexual harassment (or some do know and just don’t care). For example, as a nurse I’ve experienced more than the usual amount of sexual harassment from male patients. It’s not me being overly sensitive or lacking a sense of humor either. It is delusional men somehow thinking I’m going to suddenly throw myself at them if they say something nasty simply because they are in lust or whatever is going through their heads. My go to is to curl my lip in disgust, back away from them, and tell them in a firm and dry tone of voice that their behavior is completely inappropriate and will not be tolerated. I don’t get upset by mere compliments or those who are socially awkward. Oh, no. I’ve had to endure the real deal so much, I know the difference.
 
Last edited:
Don’t risk it, In this day and age you’ll probably get locked up or at the end of a law suit or something horrendous like that. It is not safe for men to interact with women on anything but on the level of the way you would with a male aquintance, and leave out compliments on their appearance altogether, unless asked for an opinion on something specifically and even then just keep it factual.

The only Woman it’s ok to compliment is Your Mother, Grandmother, Sister or Cousin … Oh and if you are blessed enough, your wife and daughter (s)

Stay safe Gentlemen, it’s a mine field out there for us male children of eve, and we got to watch out for each other
😉
 
Last edited:
By the way has any Man in the history of Men having being created, ever gotten upset about having been given a compliment? I don’t recall ever being so in my entire life, though a compliment is a rare thing for me these days anyway, I must admit.

I think we should all start doing so when women give us them , being upset that is.

No offence, I hope these comments are taken as lightly as they are intended.
 
Last edited:
I imagine this comes from this week’s resignation of a broadcaster. He was accused of making inappropriate remarks, then parsed it as “compliments” to let himself off the hook.

I would say it depends on the woman, your relationship with her and the compliment.

In business just don’t…not prudent. Compliment her presentation, product or work but not her appearance. I think this advice is dumb because people should not take offense, but they do, so be prudent and avoid ever remarking on a woman personally in any professional setting.

Among your friends and family, consider your circle. My parent’s friends and mine often compliment me but a few wives are offended by husbands complimenting other women. If your wife is bothered, rational or not, a compliment can be easily replaced with “we are so glad to see you!” speaking for both of you as a couple.

And the compliment needs to be considered… when my uncle told one of my cousins she had “great legs” it came off pervy and seriously bothered her. When a different Uncle said I looked great, that was sweet. An older cousin once said I looked like a “fresh faced dairy maid” which was super weird. I have no idea what that means…I just thanked him and laughed…I think he meant I looked healthy but it came off like complimenting the prize sow at the fair.

So…personal friend, niece, sister in law…“cool necklace” or, “you look very nice” is fine. “Wow, you look hot” or “great legs”, cat calls or personal remarks in a professional setting…no go.
 
Last edited:
Exactly. Telling someone “that’s a pretty blouse” is not the same as saying “you look pretty in that blouse” or worse, “you look hot in that blouse.”
 
I don’t compliment women on their appearance except my wife. However, I sometimes compliment women (and men) if they perform an act of kindness or nice gesture.

Example: When my wife was recently recovering from surgery, some of her friends took turns bringing us meals. I said stuff like, “That was very thoughtful of you” or “You make great lasagna” or whatever.

I usually don’t compliment women on their looks because it could lead to them misinterpreting my motives, although some may potentially not object.
 
You are not calling here a spineless snotty wimp are you because that would violate the rules now wouldn’t it?
 
Yea, if you’re going to compliment women and don’t want to come across as a creep “be attractive, don’t be unattractive” covers it pretty well. If you’re ridiculously good looking things that lesser men might get in trouble for will just be cute and quirky.
 
I don’t think it’s about wimpy or spineless: it’s either a genuine discomfort because of a man’s ignorance, ineptitude or lust; or it’s a desire for power through manipulative control (which motivates a lot of 21st century feminism). As someone said above, we can’t see who the manipulative types are until it happens so we just have to take precautions with all of them, and the additional benefit of that is avoiding those first three mistakes.
 
Last edited:
Neithan said:
it’s either a genuine discomfort because of a man’s ignorance, ineptitude or lust;
Click to expand...
If a man is ignorant, inept or lustful it’s his problem, not mine and I’m not going to get hurt over it.
 
I think a lot of people these days look for reasons to be offended.
 
LOL I think that remark might only go over among good male friends or family members, provided they have a healthy sense of humor, but never with women, no matter what!
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top