Confession

[Image_of_God]

I don’t think you’ll have trouble confessing, given that you have been so honest and humble to us!

It’s natural enough to feel embaressed by our sins. It’s hard also when you’re a teen because teens do tend to be very concerned that others think well of them, especially their peers.

Your priest won’t think less of you. He is more likely to admire that you’ve been honest over sins he knows are awkward to confess.

You’re contrite enough… if you recognise you’ve done wrong and intend to do the best you can manage to avoid the sins in future.

Your priest has heard many many confessions, and has heard many sins, and many times over. He can never mention any of your sins or anyone else’s to anyone else in the world. If he remembers them…and some priests have told me they never remember anything that was said in Confession…and all the priest likely to do is say a kind prayer for you.

Remember that only Jesus and Mary never had sins to confess, the billions of the rest of us are sinners in some way or other…that’s a lot of sins and some are awful…and the priest will have heard and forgotten many sins confessed to him.

God bless you…you’re doing well, and you’ll be fine!

Your statements have been so useful and enlightening. Thank you. I will pursue Confession and I hope that I can get him to be a regular confessor for me for now.

 

[Image_of_God]

I mean, I’ve done some very, very bad things. I understand that I am being idolatrous by putting his favor over that of God’s. But, it has been a struggle for me. My reputation has kind of become the center of my life.

And you think what you’re going to say is something the priest hasn’t heard before?

That, dear soul, would be prideful.

You’re going to confess your sins. Follow the priest’s lead, and leave the rest in God’s hands.

You are right. I know I’m wrong to be scared and nervous, but I feel that I can’t help feeling that way.

 

[Image_of_God]

Several years ago, I made a confession that was several years overdue to a priest I knew well. Big stuff. He never gasped in horror. He never batted an eye. He did not fall off of his chair. I left feeling absolutely lighter than air.

Try www.frpat.com or www.cmonback.com and look for the reconciliation page for some tips.

If you are contrite because you are afraid of going to hell, that is enough contrition to be forgiven. It is better if you are contrite because you have offended God, but just being afraid of the eternal consequences is enough.

Prayers - you (and all of those who are thinking about going back to confession after a long absence) have 'em

Well I’m going to Confession for so many reasons and that’s why I don’t know whether it would suffice for true contrition. I don’t want to go to hell, but that seems to be only part of the reason I’m going. The Catholic Church says that our reason for going must spring from a supernatural motive. But I fear that my reasons for going are only natural.

 

[nicthelost]

I went to Confession tonight

After a late start, I missed confession at my own parish and decided to wait until next week. I thought it would be a good idea to begin today with contemplation of the Ten Commandments (as so many have suggested) and look at my sins. I burst into tears when I had finished and felt so guilty and remorsful that next week seemed like a century away. I found a parish in a nearby town where confessions are heard on Saturday evenings and went.

Once I was in there I was pretty nervous, but the priest helped me through. Thank you all for your encouragement

 

[jmcrae]

You see, the problem with that is that I can’t drive, so I am very limited on where I can go. I have thought of waiting until I can drive to go to a better confessor, but I decided that it would be better to go as soon as possible.

If you aren’t even old enough to drive yet, it’s unlikely you’ve done anything that would actually shock the priest, or make him think less of you. We have all been young, once.

 

[Image_of_God]

If you aren’t even old enough to drive yet, it’s unlikely you’ve done anything that would actually shock the priest, or make him think less of you. We have all been young, once.

I am old enough to drive, it’s just that I am learning to drive late.

 

[Joe_Kelley]

One always has the option of confessing to the priest of ones choice [assuming he has proper faculties for hearing confessions at that location]. It is a completely free choice. One does not need any reason for choosing one priest over another.

In RCIA we try to set things up for our candidates to make their first confession, but must be very careful to ensure they understand this is just for their convenience; they are no obliged in any way to use that opportunity. The same applies in setting children up for their first confession.

 

[promethius]

I am really embarrassed going to confession at my parish. I know the priests very well, and I always feel uncomfortable going to confession. There is no real anonymity because the priests know me very well. Sometimes, I don’t confess everything in my heart because of this and rush out of the confessional as fast as I can. I went to confession at another parish and was able to have a sincere confession. Is it wrong for me to go to confession at another parish? I feel that if I can not confess my sins openly without inhibition regardless of the situation or the individual I am not being honest.

First, if what you NEED to have a valid confession is to go to another parish, by all means do so. Your activities, currently, have constituted sacrilege, invalidated the confessions you made where you knowingly did not confess, and conferred upon you the sin of violating a sacrament. This needs confession as well.

Second, while I would say that it is licit to go to another parish and that you SHOULD do that before you engage in sacrilege, I would also ask you to examine your conscience of WHY you are feeling this way? No matter what, a priest has likely heard FAR worse in the confessional than you have to tell them. Further, a priest is not there to pass personal judgement on you, nor are they allowed by any standard to discuss what is passed in the confessional with ANY person at ANY time. Where, then, does your feeling of shame come from? Is it possible that this is the presumption of sinful pride acting through satan to prevent you from having valid confessions and to push you so far as to abuse God’s sacraments?

Maybe, just maybe, this feeling of prideful shame is a chance for you to surrender that to God, to go and make a good confession in a place where it is challenging for you and your pride. Total anonymity is fine, but I’d say that that might not be such a good idea if the purpose of the anonymity is merely to protect you from having to let go of a bad character trait.

Only you, though, can tell your reasons for not wanting to confess to your local priest. Peace be with you as you (hopefully) think this one through.

 

[promethius]

I don’t want to go to hell, but that seems to be only part of the reason I’m going. The Catholic Church says that our reason for going must spring from a supernatural motive. But I fear that my reasons for going are only natural.

No, my friend, the catholic church does NOT teach such a thing. In fact, the act of contrition states plainly: “I detest all of my sins because of thy just punishment, but most of all because they offend thee, my God”

There are varying levels of contrition brought on by different things. PERFECT contrition is when you realize the intrinsic evil of sin and are sorry ONLY for the reason that we know our sin hurts others… with no reflection on the potential good or harm to the self. It is contrition merely for the sake of God and others.

HOWEVER, as any psychologist will tell you, fear of punishment is the first deterrent to doing immoral action, as a child we learn it first. In that way, fear of punishment IS both valid and important in the development of good conscience. In this type of contrition we seek to avoid the punishment of hell.

The second phase is a sort of “reward phase 1”, the idea that we are rewarded for doing good. For a child in school, his father may give him a dollar for every A on a report card. What is our reward in this type of contrition? Well, that’s easy enough: access to the sacraments of God.

The third phase is a sort of “reward phase 2”, which is the idea that we get good feelings from doing good. From this, I might choose to give someone back their lost wallet because it makes me feel good to do so. I help at the soup kitchen (in reality, i’m terrible about that), because I feel good after helping out. With this type of contrition, our reward is the peace of mind that we have reconciled with God and the church and the good feeling that comes with that reconciliation.

The final phase of conscience development is “intrinsic good development.” Here reliance on any sort of reward or punishment is gone. An act has intrinsic goodness or value which has no bearing on us whatsoever. This is “perfect contrition”, whereby all our desire to confess and reconcile with God is because our sin hurts others. We do not care (at least in the majority) about the fact that we might be punished or that we want the return to access to the sacrament, or even about good feelings. The driving force is “I have done wrong, I have hurt others.”

Psychologists recognize that at any time a person can go through any form of motivation of conscience, and so does the church. Depending on events and circumstances, a person may easily revert to a “lower level” or up higher. A person may also act out of conscience on several differentt levels at the same time. The church ALSO recognizes that contrition has multiple facets which may be present in varying degrees. Motivation of this regard, however, does not affect the fact that one IS contrite and therefore one CAN validly receive the sacrament of reconciliation providing they meet all qualifications (contrition, resolution to stop the action, penance for healing from the effects of sin, etc)

 

[LindaSK]

Good for you! Our priest will hear confessions pretty much any time. All we need to do is call the rectory and set up a time with him. So, that may be something to consider in the future. I’ve been there!

God bless.

 

[promethius]

Well, I went to confession before mass today. It felt great. Like everyone said, the priest didn’t gasp or seem shocked. I’m very glad I went. Thanks to all for your prayers.

Listening to the readings (and homily) today kind of hit me. I decided early this week to go to confession today. I didn’t know what the readings would be about. Much to my surprise, the readings talked about forgiveness of sins. I wonder, was that a coincidence or (like the priest at my former parish would often say), “Divine Providence”…

I had that happen one time. It was almost eerily orchestrated because the readings and the homily by the priest (who was not the same as the confessor, this was at my university where we had 22 priests), were EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

 

[mystified]

In a way, we should all be embarrassed that we need to go to confession. It is human nature to slip back into bad habits and sin. That is why the Sacrament of Penance is repeatable, and is valid as long as we sincerely want to turn from those thngs that are offensive to God.

 

[Image_of_God]

No, my friend, the catholic church does NOT teach such a thing. In fact, the act of contrition states plainly: “I detest all of my sins because of thy just punishment, but most of all because they offend thee, my God”

There are varying levels of contrition brought on by different things. PERFECT contrition is when you realize the intrinsic evil of sin and are sorry ONLY for the reason that we know our sin hurts others… with no reflection on the potential good or harm to the self. It is contrition merely for the sake of God and others.

HOWEVER, as any psychologist will tell you, fear of punishment is the first deterrent to doing immoral action, as a child we learn it first. In that way, fear of punishment IS both valid and important in the development of good conscience. In this type of contrition we seek to avoid the punishment of hell.

The second phase is a sort of “reward phase 1”, the idea that we are rewarded for doing good. For a child in school, his father may give him a dollar for every A on a report card. What is our reward in this type of contrition? Well, that’s easy enough: access to the sacraments of God.

The third phase is a sort of “reward phase 2”, which is the idea that we get good feelings from doing good. From this, I might choose to give someone back their lost wallet because it makes me feel good to do so. I help at the soup kitchen (in reality, i’m terrible about that), because I feel good after helping out. With this type of contrition, our reward is the peace of mind that we have reconciled with God and the church and the good feeling that comes with that reconciliation.

The final phase of conscience development is “intrinsic good development.” Here reliance on any sort of reward or punishment is gone. An act has intrinsic goodness or value which has no bearing on us whatsoever. This is “perfect contrition”, whereby all our desire to confess and reconcile with God is because our sin hurts others. We do not care (at least in the majority) about the fact that we might be punished or that we want the return to access to the sacrament, or even about good feelings. The driving force is “I have done wrong, I have hurt others.”

Psychologists recognize that at any time a person can go through any form of motivation of conscience, and so does the church. Depending on events and circumstances, a person may easily revert to a “lower level” or up higher. A person may also act out of conscience on several differentt levels at the same time. The church ALSO recognizes that contrition has multiple facets which may be present in varying degrees. Motivation of this regard, however, does not affect the fact that one IS contrite and therefore one CAN validly receive the sacrament of reconciliation providing they meet all qualifications (contrition, resolution to stop the action, penance for healing from the effects of sin, etc)

First, let me say thank you.

Next, I have a question. I can’t crying for my sins and therefore it would seem that I’m not contrite for my sins. Is this true?

 

[promethius]

First, let me say thank you.

Next, I have a question. I can’t crying for my sins and therefore it would seem that I’m not contrite for my sins. Is this true?

What do you mean “you can’t crying for your sins”?

are you saying you can’t cry for your sins? If so, I’d say that that isn’t necessarily an indicator of a lack of contrition. I don’t tend to cry much or often at all, so I’d like to think I’m doing okay. The point of contrition is what do you FEEL? Do you feel “bad” for having done wrong? Do you resolve to try to avoid committing that sin again? THAT is what contrition is about. It is recognition that we have done wrong, feeling the error of our ways, wishing to heal our soul through penance and resolving to better ourselves before God.

I think you’re alright. Don’t overthink the whole process. Your reasoning is your own, and participation in the sacrament will bring its own form of grace into your life.

 

[scapularkid8]

I plan to go to Confession in about a week to a priest that I know. It’s frightening because I believe he no longer like me after the Sacrament. I mean, I’ve done some very, very bad things. I understand that I am being idolatrous by putting his favor over that of God’s. But, it has been a struggle for me. My reputation has kind of become the center of my life. I treasure it so much–a little* too *much. I guess that I want everyone to like me so much that I forget often that it is God who I should be worrying about. I am deciding to go to Confession because I want to be in friendship with God once more. I also want to change my lifestyle.

I have a few questions:
What do I need to know about the Sacrament?

How does one know if his contrition is sufficient?

Can I have your prayers?

Thank you very much.

First Question’s Answer:
The Sacrament is heavily underestimated in our modern culture. Admitting you’re wrong is something we’re taught to fear.
Just my opinion.

Second Question’s Answer:
You don’t know. You do your best and God willing, you will be given you will be given the grace of a perfect contrition. He Knows.

 

[Image_of_God]

What do you mean “you can’t crying for your sins”?

are you saying you can’t cry for your sins? If so, I’d say that that isn’t necessarily an indicator of a lack of contrition. I don’t tend to cry much or often at all, so I’d like to think I’m doing okay. The point of contrition is what do you FEEL? Do you feel “bad” for having done wrong? Do you resolve to try to avoid committing that sin again? THAT is what contrition is about. It is recognition that we have done wrong, feeling the error of our ways, wishing to heal our soul through penance and resolving to better ourselves before God.

I think you’re alright. Don’t overthink the whole process. Your reasoning is your own, and participation in the sacrament will bring its own form of grace into your life.

First Question’s Answer:
The Sacrament is heavily underestimated in our modern culture. Admitting you’re wrong is something we’re taught to fear.
Just my opinion.

Second Question’s Answer:
You don’t know. You do your best and God willing, you will be given you will be given the grace of a perfect contrition. He Knows.

Ok. I won’t overthink it, but I have another question to ask (sorry about the many questions).

If, let’s just say, I fantasized about someone. Am I obligated to state to the priest who I fantasized about or at least what kind of person they are in relation to me or what kind of job they have?

 

[scapularkid8]

Ok. I won’t overthink it, but I have another question to ask (sorry about the many questions).

If, let’s just say, I fantasized about someone. Am I obligated to state to the priest who I fantasized about or at least what kind of person they are in relation to me or what kind of job they have?

no! that’s the beauty of Confession, he doesn’t need to know any details at all. Just what happened and how many times. That is IT. He may ask questions to assess your personal situation, but he’ll only ask for the information he needs and the rest is irrelevant. You can just say “impure thoughts/lust, multiple times”. The end!

 

[Image_of_God]

no! that’s the beauty of Confession, he doesn’t need to know any details at all. Just what happened and how many times. That is IT. He may ask questions to assess your personal situation, but he’ll only ask for the information he needs and the rest is irrelevant. You can just say “impure thoughts/lust, multiple times”. The end!

Are you sure? I have heard a different lot of things. One time I went to Confession and I told a priest, “I am supposed to tell you my sins in number and kind right?” I told my sins, but not the number of them and therefore my Confession was invalid right?

 

[scapularkid8]

Are you sure? I have heard a different lot of things. One time I went to Confession and I told a priest, “I am supposed to tell you my sins in number and kind right?” I told my sins, but not the number of them and therefore my Confession was invalid right?

…if i were a Pharisee I would say yes, but I’m a follower of Christ.

I think if God has nothing better to do then to make lists of which Confessions were invalid, the is not a god I want to worship. That is not a god worth worshiping.

But we worship the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob who is “slow to anger and abounding in great kindness”.

Only He can say if your Confession was invalid, you shouldn’t be asking any human. But I would be so humble as to suggest that it probably wasn’t since you were in the Confessional with a purpose in the first place.

(Yes im sure, i’ve never ever been corrected by a priest in the way i present my Confession. I think they’re actually relieved that I don’t come in there expecting basically psycho-analysis that I think a lot of our fellow Christians think of it as by telling every minute detail)

 

[Image_of_God]

…if i were a Pharisee I would say yes, but I’m a follower of Christ.

I think if God has nothing better to do then to make lists of which Confessions were invalid, the is not a god I want to worship. That is not a god worth worshiping.

But we worship the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob who is “slow to anger and abounding in great kindness”.

Only He can say if your Confession was invalid, you shouldn’t be asking any human. But I would be so humble as to suggest that it probably wasn’t since you were in the Confessional with a purpose in the first place.

(Yes im sure, i’ve never ever been corrected by a priest in the way i present my Confession. I think they’re actually relieved that I don’t come in there expecting basically psycho-analysis that I think a lot of our fellow Christians think of it as by telling every minute detail)

This is a great insight. And you are right: only God can really say if my Confession was invalid or not. Still, I don’t think telling me that it wasn’t means that you are Pharisaical. I would count it better so that next time I won’t make the same error!