Confession

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Hello, I am fairly new to these forums. I have been reading a lot of the posts here and enjoying them and learning as well.

I saw in recent days the topic of being embarrassed about confession. I have not been in years. Actually I do not remember the last time I have gone. But, I have been living in mortal sin for a few years and for some reason, I just feel like I have to go now!

A couple questions, is it still a formal process or do you just sit down and talk? And does this vary from priest to priest?

Also, some people have talked about going to another parrish if you are embarrassed (as I am). I keep going back and forth on this. On one hand, if I got to a priest I have never seen before, he will probably deduce why I’m going to him (since he won’t have seen me at his church before). And, I feel like I would be “cheating” on my home parrish. So I am leaning towards just biting the bullet and going to my priest. But at the same time, I keep thinking what will it be like afterwards, when I shake hands after mass, I imagine I would feel ashamed and not be able to look him in the eye.

I am trying to get up the nerve to go this Saturday. I hope I don’t chicken out. Of course, each time I go to communion with a mortal sin on me, I guess that is another mortal sin added on top if it! So I guess I better go sooner rather than later!

Again, glad I found this place and hope to continue to learn and grow by doing as much reading as I can. Hopefully one day I’ll be confident enough to help someone else out.
 
I totally remember how embarrassed I was to go to Confession after a long time away!! :o

I just went in, knelt behind the screen (the first time I’d ever tried the screen), and said “Hello? Um…what do I do now??” 😃

The priest was so nice; he walked me through the whole process.

I don’t go at my regular parish (mainly because the time there is inconvenient for me, but also because I can’t always understand my priest through his heavy African accent, and I worry that he’d give me a penance and I wouldn’t know what it is!!) 😛

I think it’s totally fine to go to Confession wherever you feel comfortable. Lots of people go to Confession away from their regular parish! 👍
 
regression said:
Hello, I am fairly new to these forums. I have been reading a lot of the posts here and enjoying them and learning as well.

I saw in recent days the topic of being embarrassed about confession. I have not been in years. Actually I do not remember the last time I have gone. But, I have been living in mortal sin for a few years and for some reason, I just feel like I have to go now!

A couple questions, is it still a formal process or do you just sit down and talk? And does this vary from priest to priest?

Also, some people have talked about going to another parrish if you are embarrassed (as I am). I keep going back and forth on this. On one hand, if I got to a priest I have never seen before, he will probably deduce why I’m going to him (since he won’t have seen me at his church before). And, I feel like I would be “cheating” on my home parrish. So I am leaning towards just biting the bullet and going to my priest. But at the same time, I keep thinking what will it be like afterwards, when I shake hands after mass, I imagine I would feel ashamed and not be able to look him in the eye.

I am trying to get up the nerve to go this Saturday. I hope I don’t chicken out. Of course, each time I go to communion with a mortal sin on me, I guess that is another mortal sin added on top if it! So I guess I better go sooner rather than later!

Again, glad I found this place and hope to continue to learn and grow by doing as much reading as I can. Hopefully one day I’ll be confident enough to help someone else out.
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There is nothing to “chicken out” on. Jesus already known why you need to come to Him in Confession.
 
i really appreciate how difficult this would be for you having had to do it myself a few months ago but go to your local confessing to a priest you see every week but also he can advise you so much better than a priest who dosen’t know you but any priest is better than not at all
 
melinda_s said:
i really appreciate how difficult this would be for you having had to do it myself a few months ago but go to your local confessing to a priest you see every week but also he can advise you so much better than a priest who dosen’t know you but any priest is better than not at all
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Thanks to you and the other posters. Nice to hear someone with a similar experience. I guess the posts just confirm what I have been feeling, that I should go to my local priest this weekend 🙂
 
regression said:
Thanks to you and the other posters. Nice to hear someone with a similar experience. I guess the posts just confirm what I have been feeling, that I should go to my local priest this weekend 🙂
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that’s wonderful 🙂 glad to know it helped 🙂 you i’ll be praying for you let me know how it goes
 
Don’t fear what a priest will think after you go to confession. He has heard it all before and probably isn’t surprised about anything. Plus, after your confession your sins are TRULY forgiven and the priest knows that. If he were to think ill of you then he would be judging something God has forgiven. The Sacrament of Penance is GREAT! God Bless!
 
Your priest will be very grateful and pleased that you have had the courage and humility to accept the grace to confess your sins.
You can rest your mind.

I couldn’t tell you how many people I’ve responded to in these forums who are needing reassurance about confessing after a long absense or for the first time!

You have no need to feel embaressed afterwards with your priest. He’s certainly not going to dwell on your sins any more than on the sins of all those who have already confessed to him. the sins they were so nervous about before going in.

You will just feel so happy and relieved afterwards!

God bless you 🙂
 
That’s grace that is leading to you to confession. Go with it.

This page was one of my favorites when I had been away for a while. You can go face to face if you wish (the screen should still be an option), and there is still somewhat of a “script” to follow. Some people use a more conversational style than others. Also www.cmonback.com is along the same lines.

When I returned after several years, my confession took me about 5 minutes, so it doesn’t have to be long and drawn out. I went to a priest I had known for years. I figured that Jesus already knew what I had done, so what could be worse than that? That being said, priests seem to have a gift for not treating you any different after you have confessed the worst things in your life to them. One of our pastors said that he doesn’t think the worst of people, but rather is awed and humbled that he is able to hear their confessions.

Last time I saw that priest that I made my “reversion” confession to, it was for my nephew’s confirmation. I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years, but after Mass I got the biggest hug from him.

Fear not.
 
regression said:
Hello, I am fairly new to these forums. I have been reading a lot of the posts here and enjoying them and learning as well.

I saw in recent days the topic of being embarrassed about confession. I have not been in years. Actually I do not remember the last time I have gone. But, I have been living in mortal sin for a few years and for some reason, I just feel like I have to go now!

A couple questions, is it still a formal process or do you just sit down and talk? And does this vary from priest to priest?

Also, some people have talked about going to another parrish if you are embarrassed (as I am). I keep going back and forth on this. On one hand, if I got to a priest I have never seen before, he will probably deduce why I’m going to him (since he won’t have seen me at his church before). And, I feel like I would be “cheating” on my home parrish. So I am leaning towards just biting the bullet and going to my priest. But at the same time, I keep thinking what will it be like afterwards, when I shake hands after mass, I imagine I would feel ashamed and not be able to look him in the eye.

I am trying to get up the nerve to go this Saturday. I hope I don’t chicken out. Of course, each time I go to communion with a mortal sin on me, I guess that is another mortal sin added on top if it! So I guess I better go sooner rather than later!

Again, glad I found this place and hope to continue to learn and grow by doing as much reading as I can. Hopefully one day I’ll be confident enough to help someone else out.
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By giving this witness to the need for the Sacrament of Confession, you have already helped many people out! Well done. 👍
 
This is a great step!! I myself was in your shoes just a month or two ago! 👍

I was away from the church for over 10 years, so I completely understand your fear. I had that ten times fold. However, there was a need upon my heart that I had to do it immediately!!
In my case because it was being pressed upon my heart so much…I called the priest and made an appt so that I could take my time and not be intimidated by others waiting for confession.

I, like TraderTif, had never used the screen and they had one. When the priest and I walked in the room, I asked him if I had to use the screen or if I could just sit in the chair that was facing him. He told me that I could do whatever was comfortable, so I decided to sit face to face with him.

I made a list of all the sins that I could remember from the past 10 years! He showed no sign of shock or judgement on me pulling out my list or for anything on that list for that matter! He made me feel quite comfortable…I started to cry before I even finished my first sentence and he just sat and listened to everything I needed to say.

Also, you’ll probably want to confess on taking communion while in mortal sin, because yes, this in itself is a sin too.
When I returned to my faith, I attended church twice prior to going to confession and I also took communion and was not aware that I had to go to confession first to fully return prior to accepting communion. That was the first thing that I told him prior to starting my list.

Good luck and get thee to confession! 👍 😃
You will feel great when that weight is taking off of your shoulders!
I hope I helped some!
 
I’m in a similar position. I have been away from the church for a while and I have now started to attend regular Sunday mass. Tomorrow I will go to confession for the first time in many years:D
 
StarMaiden said:
I’m in a similar position. I have been away from the church for a while and I have now started to attend regular Sunday mass. Tomorrow I will go to confession for the first time in many years:D
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Prayers that your experience is good and that your confession is humble, honest, and complete.

Welcome back!
 
Here we find great hope for the Church!! Well done to all those returning to the Sacrament of Confession.

don’t forget after the first one to pencil it in as a monthly duty!! 😉
 
Well I finally did it! I went to confession this morning and now I feel as if I am walking on air 😃 I will certanly be going to confession regularly from now on!
 
Hello,
regression,please do not be afraid to go to confession!.I went this morning and even though I am the world’s worst for worrying about going I am always amazed how good I feel afterwards.
The priest will be so glad that you made the effort, take a deep breath, trust in God’s mercy and go in there and open your heart to him, remember it is Jesus who is waiting in there for you.
Code: 
          God Bless,
                              Mick.:thumbsup:
 
Well, I went to confession before mass today. It felt great. Like everyone said, the priest didn’t gasp or seem shocked. I’m very glad I went. Thanks to all for your prayers.

Listening to the readings (and homily) today kind of hit me. I decided early this week to go to confession today. I didn’t know what the readings would be about. Much to my surprise, the readings talked about forgiveness of sins. I wonder, was that a coincidence or (like the priest at my former parish would often say), “Divine Providence”…
 
This thread has certainly made me feel a little better about my own position. I returned to the Church 6 weeks ago after 22 years and have yet to make confession.

I didn’t feel the need to rush back into the Sacraments, but decided to contemplate my call back to church through Mass attendance and daily prayer. Today I received a blessing at Communion for the first time (I have anxiety and agoraphobic behaviour, so walking down in line was a huge step for me).

The next step is Confession. My worries are so similar to the ones outlined in previous posts, but with the addition of having been away for so long. I have actually forgotten how to make a confession. Are there set protocols and/or prayers which I need to be familiar with? Where do I start with recollection of sins? I lived in doubt of God for so long that I paid no heed to the concept of sin. Some are obvious, but when I try to call them to mind, the list doesn’t seem as long as it should be. I feel I must surely have forgotten many of them!
 
nicthelost said:
This thread has certainly made me feel a little better about my own position. I returned to the Church 6 weeks ago after 22 years and have yet to make confession.

I didn’t feel the need to rush back into the Sacraments, but decided to contemplate my call back to church through Mass attendance and daily prayer. Today I received a blessing at Communion for the first time (I have anxiety and agoraphobic behaviour, so walking down in line was a huge step for me).

The next step is Confession. My worries are so similar to the ones outlined in previous posts, but with the addition of having been away for so long. I have actually forgotten how to make a confession. Are there set protocols and/or prayers which I need to be familiar with? Where do I start with recollection of sins? I lived in doubt of God for so long that I paid no heed to the concept of sin. Some are obvious, but when I try to call them to mind, the list doesn’t seem as long as it should be. I feel I must surely have forgotten many of them!
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Try this for a place to start. There is a “how to” and also a link to an “examination of conscience”. Don’t worry if your list is not long enough. Go with what you’ve got. Start with the big stuff - doubting God, missing Mass, sexual stuff (if applicable). If you do a good examination of conscience and confess all the mortal sins you are conscious of, then all your past sins are forgiven. As you remember others, you can confess them at future opportunities, as an act of humility and acknowledgment to Jesus of your guilt and His mercy, but you don’t need to feel like you have to run to confession with them the next day.

When I returned to the Church and went to confession after being away for several years, my confession was probably under 5 minutes. Plenty to confess, but I guess I just did the same sins over and over. Over the years, other things have floated into my consciousness, and I’ve confessed them. I don’t think there is a statute of limitation on sins. I know they were forgiven because they weren’t things that I intentionally didn’t confess, but I figured I at least owed Jesus an apology when I remembered them.

Prayers - for you and for all those in the boat with you! 🙂 Then you can change your user name to nicthefound.
 
regression said:
Well, I went to confession before mass today. It felt great. Like everyone said, the priest didn’t gasp or seem shocked. I’m very glad I went. Thanks to all for your prayers.

Listening to the readings (and homily) today kind of hit me. I decided early this week to go to confession today. I didn’t know what the readings would be about. Much to my surprise, the readings talked about forgiveness of sins. I wonder, was that a coincidence or (like the priest at my former parish would often say), “Divine Providence”…
Click to expand...
Wonderful!! 👍
 
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