Contraception in marriage...very special case

[CONFUSED1111]

Okay, this is VERY important, many people get this wrong. Let’s say someone uses 95% birth control rate method, does this mean 5% of sexual acts will result in pregnancy? NO. This means that a couple having sex over a year, there is a 5% chance there will be pregnancy, NOT per intercourse, but per year.

Now I don’t know exactly what they consider ‘average number of intercourses’ per year but I would venture a guess, around 100? I’m not sure but this is just for probability purposes.

If it is 100, then that means, for a 95% birth-control effectiveness for 100 intercourses a year, that’s .05%, or 1 in 2000 chance per intercourse.

Your arguments are, after all discussion, irrelevant: the contraception is always the contraception, the way not to make a baby. The motif is always the same.

 

[kage_ar]

Your arguments are, after all discussion, irrelevant: the contraception is always the contraception, the way not to make a baby. The motif is always the same.

The motive must always be to love God more than anything.

Where in Scripture does God tell anyone to avoid children?

 

[ContegoFides]

Confused,

I can sense the pain in your posts. You are hurting and in a terribly difficult situation. I’m not sure that reasoned arguments can help you best right now.

I sense also that you believe in God and that God is good.

Take your prayers to God in earnest and pray. Say many rosaries. Pray before the Blessed Sacrament. Ask that God give you peace and understanding. God can and will help you.

In the meantime, in case rational reasons might help you, I want to re-share my thoughts on why the Catholic Church is right and that it really is His Church. I hope they can bring you some comfort.

You believe in God, at least based on your posts.

Jesus claimed to be God. He was one of a liar, a crazy man, or he really is God. He wasn’t a liar or a crazy man, so he was God.

Jesus founded his Church on Peter. Matthew 16:18. Peter was the first pope, and there has been an unbroken chain of succession of popes since then. catholic.com/library/Pete…the_Papacy.asp

Jesus gave Peter the keys to the kingdom Heaven, the authority to bind and loose. Matthew 16:19.

That means that God Himself founded the Church and gave to the Church His authority.

Therefore, the Catholic Church is God’s Church, and all who want to obey God should obey His Church.

Again, I can feel you hurting. You are in a terribly difficult situation, and I wish you and your wife every blessing and healing. Please do not let being confused or angry take you away from God’s Church.

You wont’ find the answer to you or your wife’s problem in the world. All birth control can fail; that’s just a scientific fact.

So, if the answer is not in birth control, it has to be elsewhere. I will keep praying for you.

 

[Podo2005]

I’m here for the first time. Since English is not my native language, my apologies for all incorrections in my writing.

To the topic…

I’m so called “converted” person: I became Roman Catholic in the year 2001, during so called “charismatic retreat” of Fr. James Manjackal. In another post I can relate my absolutely positive experience with this holy man…

The resaon for my posting here is my everyday “trouble” regarding issue of contraception in marriage. Although it seems this subject to be extremely simple, various situations/events in life can seriously cast a shadow of doubt on the main fundamentals of Catholic Church teaching regarding this matter…

My case

My wife had a child birth in October, 2006. She, literally, hardly survive it, on account of terrible complications that followed the birth of our daughter Karla. A few days after child birth, my wife got sepsis. Her condition was “peritonitis”, which caused her bowels to stop working. Her sepsis was so bad that doctors gave her abt.10% chances to survive operation. She was done a huge abdominal cut, her bowels were taken out of her body to be cleaned of puss…Then she was “closed” and the only thing we were able to do was to pray for her survival.

With the help of God, she did it. But, that was not the end of her/our troubles. Below her abdominal stich, the new outgrowth appeared making pressure to her bowels and obstructing normal digestion process. For that reason, she has been twice hospitalised with partial “ileus”: her bowels were partly obstructed again. Luckily, during abt. last year and a half, she does not feel a lot of problems, but situation with this outgrowth, that is still present, has not been changed.

In such a situation, eventual pregnancy could be fatal for my wife and for the fetus. Let me be quite clear: I’m fully convinced (like the Catholic Church teaches) that life/soul is created at the very moment of conception and ABORTION IS THE MOST ABOMINABLE CRIME ONE CAN MAKE! Why “the most abominable”? Because, murder is, may be on the top of sins, but murder of completely (except original sin) innocent baby is “the worst of the worst”.

Knowing that:

• my wife’s pregnancy could have fatal outcome
  and
• abortion is no option,

we, of course, tried to find appropriate way of contraception. Sorrily, the only method allowed by our Church is so called “natural planning”. Exploring that method, it can easily be learned that the method has a success rate of abt. 95%. That is not safe enough for us. I, myself, and she, terribly worried even with her present health status, cannot “gamble” and allow very strong chances for her to get pregnant practising natural , “Billing’s method”…And that’s the core of our problem.

On account of this, I haven’t gone to make confession for more than a year: I cannot confess something without resolution not to sin in that respect again. This is a reason why I even do not like to go to Church any more: I just feel I’m not part of it any more. I even think of conversion to some of protestant denominations, in which I’ll be surrounded with Christian brothers and sisters who will understand me and my situation.

That’s my story. I cannot find the solution within present teaching of Catholic Church. Sorry, but I cannot take responsibility and consciously endanger my wife’s life.

I think Jesus understands me: He is the core of my life. Unlike many so called catolics, I do not lie, I’m not corrupted, I do not cheat my wife (It cannot even cross my mind), I’m trying to forgive absolutely everything to literally everyone, I’m trying not to judge anyone (there is the One to judge)…
You must watch that you do not become proud or arrogant, our Lord has some harsh words to say to those who are haughty or self righteous (Luke 18:9-14)

And one objection: personally, I do not agree with Catholic Churc teaching that majority of our orthodox and protestant brothers are condemned to hell. Namely, if you do not obey Rome and its rites, you are “on the wrong way” that leads to hell (there is “a stipulation” in the Catholic Churc teaching that just has to allow God’s mercy to save someone who is not Catholic. However, number of those people has to be marginal: otherwise, why to obey Catholic Church teaching at all, if everything is up to God’s independent judgement!?).

God bless you all! And if someone has comments to my story, please do write something here…

Greetings from Croatia!

Let me make this perfectly clear, the Catholic Church DOES NOT teach that our orthodox and protestant brothers are condemned to Hell.

Do you not believe that the Catholic Church is the one True Church founded 2000 years ago by our Blessed Lord Himself in order to proclaim the Gospel to the world? (read Matthew 16:18-19, Matthew 28:19-20) Christ says " Whoever listens to you listens to me, and whoever rejects you rejects me, and whoever rejects me rejects not me but the One who sent me." (Luke 10:16). These are the words of our Lord Himself that we should listen to the authentic teaching of the Church. The teaching that “Outside the Church there is no salvation” does not mean that every non catholic christians is automatically damned to hell. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church if you don’t believe me (#846-847)
vatican.va/archive/catechism/p123a9p3.htm

 

[Podo2005]

Please, quote from the Bible the chapter describing a proper method of contraception.

My selfish reason is to preserve my wife’s life. Very selfish from me. Abstain totally from sex? Jesus ordered men to love their women, telling not to abstain from intimacy. I respect that. And want to protect my wife.

Love is not equivalent to sex, otherwise all virgins, eunuchs would be in a state of sin! There are other ways in which you can love your wife… if it is indeed such a danger to your wife ( to get her pregnant) then I would recommend complete abstinence until she goes into menopause. The other option would be to use the NFP method that others have recommended… because the Church teaches that it is wrong to use artificial contraception (because you are not giving yourself 100% to your wife, you are deliberately holding something back, namely the being open to life… which is why natural methods (such as NFP) are not sinful because you arent holding anything back ). It is through no fault of your own of course that it is dangerous for your wife to concieve but sin is sin. It therefore wouldnt be a very loving thing for your brothers & sisters on this site to encourage you to sin!

I feel your pain though… I will indeed be praying for you & your wife. It is a difficult situation I know… the best advice I give you ( from personal experience since Ive suffered much myself) is to offer it up to Jesus. Unite it to the Cross of Christ(take a good hard look at the Crucifix, Our Lord knows your pain & suffering), recieve Jesus in communion often ( He loves you so much that He wants to give Himself to you! &)pray pray pray! Don’t run away from the Catholic Church! Be certain that you are in the prayers of your fellow catholic brothers & sisters in Christ.

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary

 

[Jerok]

Your arguments are, after all discussion, irrelevant: the contraception is always the contraception, the way not to make a baby. The motif is always the same.

Arguments? I’m just stating facts, I didn’t argue anything

I just thought your feelings for NFP might be different if you realize it’s not a 1 in 20 shot of pregnancy each time, but rather 1 in 20 per year.