Contraception

[Sinner1]

Although I’m certainly not at that point yet, I have been thinking about marriage. The thing is, though, she is not Catholic.

I personally have issues with the Church’s stance on contraception. I have read a lot of literature on the subject, but I just don’t agree with it. The whole thing makes me kind of mad, to be honest. But as much as I hate the contraception issue, I would willing to follow the Church’s teaching. (Grumbling the whole way, I’m sure!)

What I’m wondering now is how things would work out if I were to marry a non-Catholic. I don’t think I would be able to win her over with arguments on why we should use NFP; especially since I don’t buy the arguments myself.

If we couldn’t come to an agreement on using NFP, would I be required not to get married to her? Or can I get married with knowledge that she will be using contraception, even though she knows I’m opposed to it? Would it be a mortal sin to have sex when you know the other person is contracepting, even if you have voiced your objections?

I would really hate the idea of not being able to get married to somebody I deeply care for all because of a church teaching that I can’t stand.

I don’t intend for this thread to be a debate on contraception so I don’t need everybody responding with literature I should read on why NFP is good.

 

[vocatio]

Welcome to my world 20 years later. I have to assume you have no idea why the Church really teaches this or just think the theology is just hoaky or something. I’ll try not to go there. However, I will say this. I gave into it years ago and allowed it…even got married outside of the Church to a fundamentalist Protestant. Her family wouldn’t even concede to marrying in a Catholic Church for several reasons. First, because Catholics are apostate and going straight to hell. Second, because Catholics are so lame and just do whatever they feel like without practicing the teachings of their faith. Sound familiar yet? They see us as covering up our rejection of divorce with annulments a “catholic divorce” in their mind and clearly against the scriptures. Etc. etc.

Okay, now, I did n’t see the wisdom of the teachings of the Church until I realized just how controlling my wife could be over our relationship by taking the pill to prevent births…purely out of fear or anger. She chose whether we’d have children or not. I suffered at the hands of my own sin, leaving the Church and her teachings. Fortuneatly somewhere along the way she finally opened up almost 7 years later and had another son and 4 years of the same and we had a daughter. Several things rooted in fear led her to have a tubiligation that broke my heart because I told her that if we ever bacame Catholic it might be a problem. I guess I had a premonition of things to come and it just came out that way. This was the day right before the Holy Father, John Paul II died. My heart has been broke ever since. I chose and always will choose to stay by her side. But she chose to reject me and our offspring. Life is a gift from God and we don’t have a right to kill it before it gets there. You also seem to not realize that many of these pills cause abortions without ever realizing it. Do you think the Lord is just going to overlook this simply because it wasn’t convenient for you? My wife has since confessed this sin as she went to her first confession knowing how it made me feel. But she was Protestant and I, an orthodox Catholic, should have known better. My excuse is that my mom was also anti-Catholic which caused me to make decisions throughout my life that were questionable. It took both of my parents death to free me from their clutches.

Sure, you may be okay, but will you really be happy. You don’t sound like you want to be an orthodox Catholic. In fact, to reject any of the Churches teachings doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it, but rather that you obey them. If you don’t believe them and then don’t obey them or rebell that is a different thing and you are rejecting Christ as a result. that is the dogmatic perspective of it. But let me tell you this for your own good. If you are not a stubborn and obstinantly self-sacrificing person and your future wife can’t handle Catholic ways you’ll never make it. I’m stubborn and determined to make our marriage work…and the fruits of my labor are her conversion and now happiness. Thing really hard about this. If you haven’t talked about this with her then you are being very foolish for not bringing it up. There are many other issues you need to discuss to determine if you will even be compatible and be able to make it work. I came out of a mixed religious home and already had part of her faith written in my heart. It took leaving for me to realize what I had left behind and the wisdom of the Church, whether the clergy had their act together or not.

Best wishes in your decision.

 

[Luke65]

And here’s a scripture for both of you:

Genesis 38
8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.” 9 But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. 10 What he did was wicked in the LORD’s sight; so he put him to death also. (NIV)

And remember, that was the Old Testament; under the New Covenant when you (illicitly) contracept it’s spiritual death - mortal sin.

 

[Seatuck]

Although I’m certainly not at that point yet, I have been thinking about marriage. The thing is, though, she is not Catholic.

I personally have issues with the Church’s stance on contraception. I have read a lot of literature on the subject, but I just don’t agree with it. The whole thing makes me kind of mad, to be honest. But as much as I hate the contraception issue, I would willing to follow the Church’s teaching. (Grumbling the whole way, I’m sure!)

What I’m wondering now is how things would work out if I were to marry a non-Catholic. I don’t think I would be able to win her over with arguments on why we should use NFP; especially since I don’t buy the arguments myself.

If we couldn’t come to an agreement on using NFP, would I be required not to get married to her? Or can I get married with knowledge that she will be using contraception, even though she knows I’m opposed to it? Would it be a mortal sin to have sex when you know the other person is contracepting, even if you have voiced your objections?

I would really hate the idea of not being able to get married to somebody I deeply care for all because of a church teaching that I can’t stand.

I don’t intend for this thread to be a debate on contraception so I don’t need everybody responding with literature I should read on why NFP is good.

Well , this hypothetical woman doesn’t have enough respect for your religious beliefs.What else won’t she compromise on? Dump her.

Seriously , you need to study the teaching more, it makes sense although it is difficult to understand at first due to the culture we live in. Don’t you want to give yourself fully to your future wife and receive the same?

What have you studied on it? It’s kind of silly to say I’m struggling with something but don’t give me any help to figure it out. Why don’t you want any resources on why your love with your wife has a special meaning to it ? Have you studied the relationship between marriage and the Eucharist? Theology of the Body? What have you studied to come up with your opinion?

 

[Sina]

I think you should truly speak to a good priest about this. Please. I don’t think you will like some of the opinions from other posters where they simply say “dump her”. I am sure that is not what you want to hear. I think you would benefit more from a priest’s counsel.

A lot of people struggle with this very same issue as you do. I am one of them. My DH is not Catholic and very much dislikes the church’s stance on ABC. When I got married 2.5 years ago, I was ignorant of what I was getting myself into. I am glad you are at least thinking about these things before you get married. Pray about it as I am sure you are.

You might want to do a search on CAF for “mixed marriages” or interfaith marriage. There is alot of advice out there…

For me, I would personally speak to a priest. An orthodox one.

 

[OSUbride0708]

Although I’m certainly not at that point yet, I have been thinking about marriage. The thing is, though, she is not Catholic.

I personally have issues with the Church’s stance on contraception. I have read a lot of literature on the subject, but I just don’t agree with it. The whole thing makes me kind of mad, to be honest. But as much as I hate the contraception issue, I would willing to follow the Church’s teaching. (Grumbling the whole way, I’m sure!)

What I’m wondering now is how things would work out if I were to marry a non-Catholic. I don’t think I would be able to win her over with arguments on why we should use NFP; especially since I don’t buy the arguments myself.

If we couldn’t come to an agreement on using NFP, would I be required not to get married to her? Or can I get married with knowledge that she will be using contraception, even though she knows I’m opposed to it? Would it be a mortal sin to have sex when you know the other person is contracepting, even if you have voiced your objections?

I would really hate the idea of not being able to get married to somebody I deeply care for all because of a church teaching that I can’t stand.

I don’t intend for this thread to be a debate on contraception so I don’t need everybody responding with literature I should read on why NFP is good.

I don’t think it will be a mortal sin for you if your spouse is taking birth control. However, you should NOT use this as an easy way out.
You need to start with trying your absolute best to understand the Church’s teaching on contraception, and why NFP is allowed in grave circumstances.
I was like you about 2 1/2 years ago. I am 22 years old, and have been with my now husband since I was 16. We knew we would be married by the time I was 18, but decided to wait until I was done with college. We both couldn’t understand why on Earth it was so horrible for us to show our love to eachother through sex. We would never share it with another, we would be married, we would lovingly accept any children that were sent our way.
I am SO GLAD I finally saw the light. I cannot tell you how much it has helped our relationship. I started reading a lot of threads on here and noticed a lot of people liked Christopher West’s talks on Theology of the Body. I went to Catholic school for 13 yrs, so I knew what Theology of the Body was. From the mouth of a sinner, Mr. West tells how he came to understand TOB so well. My then fiance and I listened to a 4 hr talk on CD on our long drive back to school and were amazed by how much we didn’t know. I was finally finding out the “whys” behind all the things I was told “don’t do it, because it’s against the Church”. But Why? That’s what I really needed to understand, and once I did, and once we did together our relationship became even better (at a time when I thought we were as close as we could be).

I really think your first step, if you really see yourself as Catholic, is to try to understand the Church’s teachings. After all, your job as a husband is to get your wife to heaven, and how can you do that if you’re not even sure what you believe?

 

[Sinner1]

Welcome to my world 20 years later. I have to assume you have no idea why the Church really teaches this or just think the theology is just hoaky or something. I’ll try not to go there. However, I will say this. I gave into it years ago and allowed it…even got married outside of the Church to a fundamentalist Protestant. Her family wouldn’t even concede to marrying in a Catholic Church for several reasons. First, because Catholics are apostate and going straight to hell. Second, because Catholics are so lame and just do whatever they feel like without practicing the teachings of their faith. Sound familiar yet? They see us as covering up our rejection of divorce with annulments a “catholic divorce” in their mind and clearly against the scriptures. Etc. etc.

Yes, I have read a lot on why the Church teaches what it does on birth control. But I still don’t agree. People tell me I don’t actually understand the Church’s stance because I disagree. Well, that’s not true. Also, I won’t get started on annulments.

Okay, now, I did n’t see the wisdom of the teachings of the Church until I realized just how controlling my wife could be over our relationship by taking the pill to prevent births…purely out of fear or anger. She chose whether we’d have children or not. I suffered at the hands of my own sin, leaving the Church and her teachings. Fortuneatly somewhere along the way she finally opened up almost 7 years later and had another son and 4 years of the same and we had a daughter. Several things rooted in fear led her to have a tubiligation that broke my heart because I told her that if we ever bacame Catholic it might be a problem. I guess I had a premonition of things to come and it just came out that way. This was the day right before the Holy Father, John Paul II died. My heart has been broke ever since. I chose and always will choose to stay by her side. But she chose to reject me and our offspring. Life is a gift from God and we don’t have a right to kill it before it gets there. You also seem to not realize that many of these pills cause abortions without ever realizing it. Do you think the Lord is just going to overlook this simply because it wasn’t convenient for you?

Yes, I realize that many contraceptions cause abortions. I’m not stupid. I am opposed to such contraception.

My wife has since confessed this sin as she went to her first confession knowing how it made me feel. But she was Protestant and I, an orthodox Catholic, should have known better. My excuse is that my mom was also anti-Catholic which caused me to make decisions throughout my life that were questionable. It took both of my parents death to free me from their clutches.

I don’t mean to make accusations, but I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard similar things from. They didn’t want to follow the Church’s teachings on birth control, so they got a tubaligation or vasectomy. But then they go to confession and are absolved from the sin, and the Church doesn’t require a reverse surgery done. Seems like a convenient way to disregard the Church’s teaching on birth control, and still stay in good standing with the Church.

Sure, you may be okay, but will you really be happy. You don’t sound like you want to be an orthodox Catholic.

No, quite honestly I don’t. I hate being Catholic. I’ll say it again: I hate being Catholic.

In fact, to reject any of the Churches teachings doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it, but rather that you obey them. If you don’t believe them and then don’t obey them or rebell that is a different thing and you are rejecting Christ as a result. that is the dogmatic perspective of it. But let me tell you this for your own good. If you are not a stubborn and obstinantly self-sacrificing person and your future wife can’t handle Catholic ways you’ll never make it. I’m stubborn and determined to make our marriage work…and the fruits of my labor are her conversion and now happiness. Thing really hard about this. If you haven’t talked about this with her then you are being very foolish for not bringing it up. There are many other issues you need to discuss to determine if you will even be compatible and be able to make it work. I came out of a mixed religious home and already had part of her faith written in my heart. It took leaving for me to realize what I had left behind and the wisdom of the Church, whether the clergy had their act together or not.

Best wishes in your decision.

Thanks.

 

[Sinner1]

And here’s a scripture for both of you:

And remember, that was the Old Testament; under the New Covenant when you (illicitly) contracept it’s spiritual death - mortal sin.

The OT is full of strange and bizarre rules. I’m looking for the Church’s current teaching on the issue.

 

[mark_a]

Welcome to my world 20 years later. I have to assume you have no idea why the Church really teaches this or just think the theology is just hoaky or something. I’ll try not to go there. However, I will say this. I gave into it years ago and allowed it…even got married outside of the Church to a fundamentalist Protestant. Her family wouldn’t even concede to marrying in a Catholic Church for several reasons. First, because Catholics are apostate and going straight to hell. Second, because Catholics are so lame and just do whatever they feel like without practicing the teachings of their faith. Sound familiar yet? They see us as covering up our rejection of divorce with annulments a “catholic divorce” in their mind and clearly against the scriptures. Etc. etc.

Okay, now, I did n’t see the wisdom of the teachings of the Church until I realized just how controlling my wife could be over our relationship by taking the pill to prevent births…purely out of fear or anger. She chose whether we’d have children or not. I suffered at the hands of my own sin, leaving the Church and her teachings. Fortuneatly somewhere along the way she finally opened up almost 7 years later and had another son and 4 years of the same and we had a daughter. Several things rooted in fear led her to have a tubiligation that broke my heart because I told her that if we ever bacame Catholic it might be a problem. I guess I had a premonition of things to come and it just came out that way. This was the day right before the Holy Father, John Paul II died. My heart has been broke ever since. I chose and always will choose to stay by her side. But she chose to reject me and our offspring. Life is a gift from God and we don’t have a right to kill it before it gets there. You also seem to not realize that many of these pills cause abortions without ever realizing it. Do you think the Lord is just going to overlook this simply because it wasn’t convenient for you? My wife has since confessed this sin as she went to her first confession knowing how it made me feel. But she was Protestant and I, an orthodox Catholic, should have known better. My excuse is that my mom was also anti-Catholic which caused me to make decisions throughout my life that were questionable. It took both of my parents death to free me from their clutches.

Sure, you may be okay, but will you really be happy. You don’t sound like you want to be an orthodox Catholic. In fact, to reject any of the Churches teachings doesn’t mean you have to be happy about it, but rather that you obey them. If you don’t believe them and then don’t obey them or rebell that is a different thing and you are rejecting Christ as a result. that is the dogmatic perspective of it. But let me tell you this for your own good. If you are not a stubborn and obstinantly self-sacrificing person and your future wife can’t handle Catholic ways you’ll never make it. I’m stubborn and determined to make our marriage work…and the fruits of my labor are her conversion and now happiness. Thing really hard about this. If you haven’t talked about this with her then you are being very foolish for not bringing it up. There are many other issues you need to discuss to determine if you will even be compatible and be able to make it work. I came out of a mixed religious home and already had part of her faith written in my heart. It took leaving for me to realize what I had left behind and the wisdom of the Church, whether the clergy had their act together or not.

Best wishes in your decision.

This post is brilliant. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Sinner1]

Well , this hypothetical woman doesn’t have enough respect for your religious beliefs.What else won’t she compromise on? Dump her.

That’s not fair to her. Respecting my religious beliefs is one thing, but forcing her to use NFP is asking a lot. I have known a number of marriages that have been torn apart because of the whole NFP issue.

Seriously , you need to study the teaching more, it makes sense although it is difficult to understand at first due to the culture we live in. Don’t you want to give yourself fully to your future wife and receive the same?

What have you studied on it? It’s kind of silly to say I’m struggling with something but don’t give me any help to figure it out. Why don’t you want any resources on why your love with your wife has a special meaning to it ?

I don’t need any resources because I have probably already read most of them.

Have you studied the relationship between marriage and the Eucharist? Theology of the Body? What have you studied to come up with your opinion?

Yes and yes. I have taken theology classes, studied the theology of the body, and read a lot of apologetics defense of the Church’s stance.

 

[Sinner1]

I think you should truly speak to a good priest about this. Please. I don’t think you will like some of the opinions from other posters where they simply say “dump her”. I am sure that is not what you want to hear. I think you would benefit more from a priest’s counsel.

A lot of people struggle with this very same issue as you do. I am one of them. My DH is not Catholic and very much dislikes the church’s stance on ABC. When I got married 2.5 years ago, I was ignorant of what I was getting myself into. I am glad you are at least thinking about these things before you get married. Pray about it as I am sure you are.

You might want to do a search on CAF for “mixed marriages” or interfaith marriage. There is alot of advice out there…

For me, I would personally speak to a priest. An orthodox one.

Fair enough. Thanks.

To be honest, this whole thing makes me mad. It’s one thing for me to feel like I’m forced to follow some ridiculous rule. But then also being forced to make somebody else follow it…

 

[mark_a]

Yes, I realize that many contraceptions cause abortions. I’m not stupid. I am opposed to such contraception.

Which methods are “acceptable”?

I don’t mean to make accusations, but I can’t tell you how many people I’ve heard similar things from. They didn’t want to follow the Church’s teachings on birth control, so they got a tubaligation or vasectomy. But then they go to confession and are absolved from the sin, and the Church doesn’t require a reverse surgery done. Seems like a convenient way to disregard the Church’s teaching on birth control, and still stay in good standing with the Church.

Sounds like these folks lack some basic understanding of confession, absolution, and forgiveness.

No, quite honestly I don’t. I hate being Catholic. I’ll say it again: I hate being Catholic.

Being Catholic can be tough. What is keeping you here? Could it be that deep down, we all know contraception is wrong?

Would knowing that the Catholic teaching comes from Judaism make any difference to you? ccli.org/nfp/morality/bible.php

 

[Sinner1]

I don’t think it will be a mortal sin for you if your spouse is taking birth control. However, you should NOT use this as an easy way out.

You need to start with trying your absolute best to understand the Church’s teaching on contraception, and why NFP is allowed in grave circumstances.

True, good point. I would need to make sure I knew as much as I could about the subject, and make sure she knows the same as well.

I was like you about 2 1/2 years ago. I am 22 years old, and have been with my now husband since I was 16. We knew we would be married by the time I was 18, but decided to wait until I was done with college. We both couldn’t understand why on Earth it was so horrible for us to show our love to eachother through sex. We would never share it with another, we would be married, we would lovingly accept any children that were sent our way.
I am SO GLAD I finally saw the light. I cannot tell you how much it has helped our relationship. I started reading a lot of threads on here and noticed a lot of people liked Christopher West’s talks on Theology of the Body. I went to Catholic school for 13 yrs, so I knew what Theology of the Body was. From the mouth of a sinner, Mr. West tells how he came to understand TOB so well. My then fiance and I listened to a 4 hr talk on CD on our long drive back to school and were amazed by how much we didn’t know. I was finally finding out the “whys” behind all the things I was told “don’t do it, because it’s against the Church”. But Why? That’s what I really needed to understand, and once I did, and once we did together our relationship became even better (at a time when I thought we were as close as we could be).

I really think your first step, if you really see yourself as Catholic, is to try to understand the Church’s teachings. After all, your job as a husband is to get your wife to heaven, and how can you do that if you’re not even sure what you believe?

Thanks. Even if I did agree with the Church’s teaching, I would still have a hard time forcing my wife to use NFP.

 

[Sinner1]

Which methods are “acceptable”?

Do you want me to give you a list of birth control methods that don’t cause abortions? I’m sure you can find lots of information on the subject elsewhere on the internet.

Being Catholic can be tough. What is keeping you here? Could it be that deep down, we all know contraception is wrong.

No. I’m Catholic, for the time being, because I fear hell. I know that’s not having the right spirit, but that’s where I’m at.

If I had to choose between my wife and a religion that I hated, there is a good chance that I would abandon Catholicism.

 

[Sinner1]

Can anybody cite something from the Church that answers my original question?

 

[mark_a]

If I had to choose between my wife and a religion that I hated, there is a good chance that I would abandon Catholicism.

I understand, but I think maybe you need to look ahead.

You are Catholic and something is keeping you here. The divide between you and a non-Catholic wife is likely to only grow wider, especially when you must decide which faith you will pass on to them.

Anyways, best wishes to you.

 

[PJM]

Although I’m certainly not at that point yet, I have been thinking about marriage. The thing is, though, she is not Catholic.

I personally have issues with the Church’s stance on contraception. I have read a lot of literature on the subject, but I just don’t agree with it. The whole thing makes me kind of mad, to be honest. But as much as I hate the contraception issue, I would willing to follow the Church’s teaching. (Grumbling the whole way, I’m sure!)

Friend I once struggled with the same two issues. Conterception and a non-catholic wife (who is now happily Catholic.)

A priest friend of my suggested that I read Pope John Paul II’s “Gospel of Life.” I did and it changed my (our) lives.

He expalins that our God is a jealous **God, and demands His right **to control all issues of both life and death.

He futher explains that there are two purposes for married sexual itmitacy. The first is obvious, to have children. The second is also obvious once we are made aware of it. It is the “unitive acspects” of married sex. I like to think of it a “marriage cement.” It brings couples closer, releaves stress, builds friendship and without
conterception, builds trust, better than anything else.

When you’ve been married for awhile, you’ll both appreciate this.

However our God is an “All-Loving” God, and provides a very practical, and morally acceptable option, termed “Natral Family
Planning.” I fear your condemming what you REALLY don’t know about?

It works, it builds trust and friendship, and makes sex about “us”,
not a war of self-focused gradification, but a unifying, meaninful, loving, care-filled life.

What I’m wondering now is how things would work out if I were to marry a non-Catholic. I don’t think I would be able to win her over with arguments on why we should use NFP; especially since I don’t buy the arguments myself.

That’s because your thinking with… but not the informed conscience that we are all morally obligated to have. Check it out for YOURSELF, with a NFP expert. They can answer all your questions.

Before you say “NO” to God, you owe it to yourself and the future Mrs. to at least get the facts, from the experts.

If we couldn’t come to an agreement on using NFP, would I be required not to get married to her? Or can I get married with knowledge that she will be using contraception, even though she knows I’m opposed to it? Would it be a mortal sin to have sex when you know the other person is contracepting, even if you have voiced your objections?

Her using conterception or you using it have the same gravely moral result. You should not get married. BUT BuT BUT don’t sell yourselves short. CHECK out NFP and talk yto your priest.

I would really hate the idea of not being able to get married to somebody I deeply care for all because of a church teaching that I can’t stand.

God can only do GOOD, that is the very Nature of God.Before you go on about your will, what you like,Ect., ask yourself, why did God Create me?

To Know Him
To Love Him (and let Him Love you back)
To Serve Him

And If you do these things, He promises you Heaven! Amen!

I don’t intend for this thread to be a debate on contraception so I don’t need everybody responding with literature I should read on why NFP is good.

My young friend, some advice from this Grandpa. It’s darn hard to find the truth if your not willing to look for it.fie:tiphat:

Nouthing in life that is good is “free” there is alway’s a price to pay. That my friend is fact:blushing:

You have God on your side, The Holy Spirit led you to this Forum and this Post for very specific reasons. So you would learn and do God’s Divine Will.

 

[Paul1961]

“If we couldn’t come to an agreement on using NFP, would I be required not to get married to her?”

When we did marriage prep about 14 years ago, I can not remember any questions or teaching regarding contraception. Kind of like the military’s Don’t ask Don’t tell. It really wasn’t even on our radar. I really can’t fathom, the churches position against condoms. Really doesn’t make sense to me either.

We did use condoms for a few months before trying to have children. Then again between children. When we were sure that we had as many children as we wanted(and having passed 40), we decided that I would have a vasectomy.

Anyway, please discuss these issues with your priest. You won’t get much support on these boards.

 

[Sinner1]

Friend I once struggled with the same two issues. Conterception and a non-catholic wife (who is now happily Catholic.)

A priest friend of my suggested that I read Pope John Paul II’s “Gospel of Life.” I did and it changed my (our) lives.

He expalins that our God is a jealous **God, and demands His right **to control all issues of both life and death.

He futher explains that there are two purposes for married sexual itmitacy. The first is obvious, to have children. The second is also obvious once we are made aware of it. It is the “unitive acspects” of married sex. I like to think of it a “marriage cement.” It brings couples closer, releaves stress, builds friendship and without
conterception, builds trust, better than anything else.

When you’ve been married for awhile, you’ll both appreciate this.

However our God is an “All-Loving” God, and provides a very practical, and morally acceptable option, termed “Natral Family
Planning.” I fear your condemming what you REALLY don’t know about?

It works, it builds trust and friendship, and makes sex about “us”,
not a war of self-focused gradification, but a unifying, meaninful, loving, care-filled life.

It may work well for us, but there is also a chance that it wouldn’t. Judging from the number of good Catholic couples who have had their marriages ruined by NFP, I have my doubts.

That’s because your thinking with… but not the informed conscience that we are all morally obligated to have. Check it out for YOURSELF, with a NFP expert. They can answer all your questions.

Before you say “NO” to God, you owe it to yourself and the future Mrs. to at least get the facts, from the experts.

And what happens if we read all the literature, go to the classes, and talk to the priests and we still disagree?

Her using conterception or you using it have the same gravely moral result. You should not get married.

Is this your personal take on the issue, or is this the Church’s stance?

 

[Sinner1]

“If we couldn’t come to an agreement on using NFP, would I be required not to get married to her?”

When we did marriage prep about 14 years ago, I can not remember any questions or teaching regarding contraception. Kind of like the military’s Don’t ask Don’t tell. It really wasn’t even on our radar. I really can’t fathom, the churches position against condoms. Really doesn’t make sense to me either.

We did use condoms for a few months before trying to have children. Then again between children. When we were sure that we had as many children as we wanted(and having passed 40), we decided that I would have a vasectomy.

Anyway, please discuss these issues with your priest. You won’t get much support on these boards.

Thanks.