Contraceptives in place of NFP/withholding sex

  • Thread starter Thread starter Flipster2020
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
F

Flipster2020

Guest
I am a practicing catholic, now just 4 months recovered from an emergency cesarean section due to a high risk pregnancy. My baby is 4 months old and my husband wants to engage in sexual intercourse. I am personally terrified to get pregnant again due to the high risk of having my uterus tear if I get pregnant again so soon.

I was wondering if anyone knows if in this situation would contraceptives be allowed without being sinful in the time being for 9 months while my body heals?

And

Is it truly sinful to withhold sex from my husband until the 9 months of healing has taken place?

I prefer feedback from other practicing Catholics only.
 
No, Artificial contraceptives are NEVER ever allowed to contracept. No matter the circumstances.
 
You should probably be talking with your husband about this - and why it is SO difficult to wait for just a few weeks each month that the choice seems to be, “risk destroying my wife’s uterus” or “destroy the entire meaning of the sexual act through using contraception.”

It’s an opportunity to grow in self-discipline, to grow in care for you his wife, and to focus more on your new child - all things which men need to be challenged by. Maybe try that approach - and talk to someone “IRL” that you trust about these things who knows both you and your husband.
 
No. Unless you feel pretty sure that you are able to avoid with good chances of success a pregnancy
it is better to abstain.

Your husband should understand that to make his wife risk another cesaeran birth instead of trying a normal birth, just in order to have sex is medically absurd, not respectfull of his wife and sinfull.

It would be sinfull from your part and not respectfull of your body and the sexual union to use contraceptives too.
 
Flipster2020 said:
I was wondering if anyone knows if in this situation would contraceptives be allowed without being sinful in the time being for 9 months while my body heals?
Click to expand...
Contraception is always wrong, it is intrinsically evil.

Abstaining is the moral choice, either periodically or completely.

If you husband isn’t respecting the healing time your body needs, the two of you should seek counseling from your pastor. He needs to put your health first.
Flipster2020 said:
Is it truly sinful to withhold sex from my husband until the 9 months of healing has taken place?
Click to expand...
No.

We are not to do so without good reason. Ideally it should be mutually agreed upon. It can be a sin when either spouse withholds sexual intimacy. But it is not always so.

When your health and healing are endangered, you are not sinning by postponing the resumption of relations. I would say he might be sinning against charity by trying to press you for relations in such a case.
 
Last edited:
I was in a similar position, having an emergency c section. I was able to use NFP after pregnancy BUT, I waited until my cycle came back and was consistent, I used very strict rules (no phase one, wait several days more after peak) and I was confident in my method because I had used it several years to avoid without failure and had clear symptoms.

This is life and death for you so your husband needs to understand the risks you are taking and the things you need to have in place so you are comfortable with those risks.
 
Flipster2020 said:
Is it truly sinful to withhold sex from my husband until the 9 months of healing has taken place?
Click to expand...
No, it isn’t sinful to withhold sex from your husband when a pregnancy would put your physical health and wellbeing in danger.

Is your husband pressuring you to have sex? If he is, that’s not okay.
 
Thank you for your response. Fortunately I am not being pressured, he just seems to have his feelings hurt because I dont want to show him intimacy in that way, but to be honest I need to start showing interest in general since all my time and affection does go to our child right now so I see why he feels “left out” in a sense and would be hurt.
 
Thank you for your response. I was unfortunately never able to attend an NFP course in my parish but I will research it.
 
Thank you for your response. He isn’t pressuring me for sex but I can see where counseling may be helpful.
 
Thank you for your response. We abstained from sex and practiced chastity before our marriage so to remember the importance of those things again unhelpful.
 
Unfortunately our doctor has only recommended contraceptives to us. I’ve explained the risks to my husband so he knows. He isn’t pressuring me but I can tell he is hurt by my lack of wanting to be intimate with him in that way.
 
Flipster2020 said:
Thank you for your response. I was unfortunately never able to attend an NFP course in my parish but I will research it.
Click to expand...
There are numerous methods depending on your preferences. Most popular methods have protocols for postpartum mothers, even if her cycles have not yet returned. We used the Marquette Method successfully for 18 months following my C-section. I started when I was about 8 weeks postpartum and met with an instructor remotely over Skype. My cycles returned at 7 months postpartum and we continued using the Marquette Method for about 10 more months until we decided we were ready to have another child (now pregnant with our second).

It definitely can be done, it just requires following the guidelines of your chosen method and communication with your instructor.
 
Last edited:
Flipster2020 said:
Thank you for your response. Fortunately I am not being pressured, he just seems to have his feelings hurt because I dont want to show him intimacy in that way,
Click to expand...
I understand men have a different “need” for sex than us women do. Still…I can’t help being left with a bad taste in my mouth when a grown man “has his feelings hurt” by his wife not wanting sex when the reason she doesn’t want sex is that it would put her physical safety, well-being, and health at stake. When it’s a life or death situation, the “men have needs” excuse can only go so far.
Flipster2020 said:
I need to start showing interest in general since all my time and affection does go to our child right now so I see why he feels “left out” in a sense and would be hurt.
Click to expand...
Yes, make time for him and be romantic in ways other than sex. It’s important to continue to meet each other’s emotional needs and maintain your marriage. Make sure you aren’t ignoring him entirely. However, having a very young baby in the house does sometimes mean that the needs and wants of a grown adult who can take care of himself have to go on the back burner while caring for the helpless baby takes priority. This is also something he’s going to have to understand and accept. It won’t always be this way. When the baby is older she’ll naturally need less continuous attention. But for now, meeting the immediate needs of a four-month-old has to be your priority.
 
Psalm30 said:
I understand men have a different “need” for sex than us women do. Still…I can’t help being left with a bad taste in my mouth when a grown man “has his feelings hurt” by his wife not wanting sex when the reason she doesn’t want sex is that it would put her physical safety, well-being, and health at stake. When it’s a life or death situation, the “men have needs” excuse can only go so far.
Click to expand...
I don’t know. She said that he is not pressuring her into sex and has only gently raised the question. It seems reasonable to broach the subject now and learn about NFP while you have to abstain anyway so when you have an opportunity you can be ready. If you just leave it to happen on its own that baby will be starting college before anything happens.
 
Can be a really good method, and you learn a lot about your body, but personally I wouldn’t want to be starting out post pregnancy (or anytime a pregnancy would be risky ).
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top