Cursillo

[KimberlyAnn0218]

gh4:
I would report your experience to someone at your local Diocese. From what I understand there is a “recipe” for Cursillo that is to be followed. Yours sounds concerning to be sure.

 

[KimberlyAnn0218]

You are correct. It is busy and some of it you DO have to just experience. But a lot of the “mystery” stuff just isn’t. AND IT WAS BORING. Sorry, it just was.

The"surprises" you speak of weren’t much at all. Mostly stuff copied and from no one in particular.

Actually I have talked to my priest about it, and I’m a LOT better now than I was a month ago! I still can’t talk about it verbally without crying.

I posted below but didn’t quote your post above…I think you need to report your experience to your Diocese. It doesn’t sound right or healthy.

And if you are still crying because of it a month later you should talk with someone about strategies to move beyond it. HAnds down, your sounded bad. No bones about that. I wish you could have been at mine–I DID get a little bored with one speaker, but not the rest. Not everyone had a mountain top and one person I knew personally had some struggles, they cared and worked with her and she walked away content at the end.

Really, truly, talk to your Diocese. If that’s the way it is and is supported, then you did what you could.

 

[gh4]

It’s been 4 months and yes, I still cry occasionally and if I have to talk about my experience it still makes me cry. I am working on this with my priest, and he’s being wonderful about it.

The reunion meetings are held in a city 94.2 miles from where I live. The Ultraya (is that the word?) meetings are in Tucson, approx. 100 miles away. I just won’t drive that far alone since I have no cell phone and I live about 50 miles from the Mexican border, it’s just not safe. There are 2 women in our small parish who had made their cursillos and I would have been the third. So nothing local. I have to drive 50 miles to the nearest Walmart, I truly do live in the middle of the high desert. Our parish has less than 100 families, many of those families are singles since many are quite elderly.

I won’t go to the diocese as I don’t want to ruin cursillo for anyone else and I don’t want to answer a bunch of questions and I don’t want to put my sponsor (who was part of the giving team) on the hot seat.

Anyhow, if anyone asks me about it, I will answer their questions. I will tell them how it affected me and then also that it didn’t affect everyone like it did me. But when people are interested, they need better answers than ‘you just have to experience it.’

I’m sorry if I stepped on anyone’s feet here, that’s not my intention.

 

[maryjk]

I’m sorry if I stepped on anyone’s feet here, that’s not my intention.

Don’t worry about stepping on feet here.

All you have to do is ask questions and not accept the answers at face value, and you will step on toes. Or say anything negative about Cursillo.

It is interesting that we can post negative things about different Masses, priests that seem not to care, and CCD classes that don’t teach the Truth, and it is okay. But if you say something negative about Cursillo, people start posting comments that attack you.

 

[gh4]

Don’t worry about stepping on feet here.

All you have to do is ask questions and not accept the answers at face value, and you will step on toes. Or say anything negative about Cursillo.

It is interesting that we can post negative things about different Masses, priests that seem not to care, and CCD classes that don’t teach the Truth, and it is okay. But if you say something negative about Cursillo, people start posting comments that attack you.

Interesting.
I’ve got my big girl panties on. Normally I’m pretty tough. I’ve been a nurse for a very long time, raised 2 boys by myself after their father died. Took care of my parents who both had Alzheimer’s for 7 years. Moved from Ohio to Arizona alone with 7 retired racing greyhounds in the car! I’m not a marshmallow at all, ever…except for cursillo, and even I’m surprised at how it affected me.

There were many other things said to me at cursillo that I won’t repeat here. By the priest and by members of the giving team. That’s part of what hurts so badly.

When I was packing up to leave, the priest came into my bedroom and watched me pack, my undies and dirty clothing and all. I was at that point treated like a criminal. I was lead to a picnic table by 4 people where I sat for well over an hour and a half waiting for a ride home (NEVER AGAIN!!!) in 45 degree weather with only a light jacket. If I had been closer to home (I was 105 miles from home) I would have walked, unfortunately we don’t have cabs. I was guarded like a criminal. It was after 8pm and the others were eating dinner. I wasn’t even offered a drink or snack, hadn’t eaten since about 2pm.(that’s a guess from looking at where the sun was in the sky when we ate lunch) The priest was ultimately in charge of the weekend, if something wasn’t going right, the leader called the priest into the problem to fix it.
I had left something in my room, I had to get demanding to get someone to go get it for me, I wasn’t allowed to go get it, I wasn’t allowed to be alone… I’m not sure what they thought I would do if they left me for 2 minutes to run to my room and grab it.
And I lost my favorite lipstick and one of my favorite pair of panties! DANG!

If anyone locally asks me what goes on at cursillo, I will tell them pretty much whatever they ask. Not to ruin it for them, but to let them know how it’s run and done. Obviously I have no clue about what goes on on Sundays.

Cursillo is not for everyone. But it’s very difficult to discern if it’s for you if when you ask, you are simply told “I can’t describe it, you just have to experience it.” That’s not an answer, that’s a cop out.

 

[KimberlyAnn0218]

Interesting.
I’ve got my big girl panties on. Normally I’m pretty tough. I’ve been a nurse for a very long time, raised 2 boys by myself after their father died. Took care of my parents who both had Alzheimer’s for 7 years. Moved from Ohio to Arizona alone with 7 retired racing greyhounds in the car! I’m not a marshmallow at all, ever…except for cursillo, and even I’m surprised at how it affected me.

There were many other things said to me at cursillo that I won’t repeat here. By the priest and by members of the giving team. That’s part of what hurts so badly.

When I was packing up to leave, the priest came into my bedroom and watched me pack, my undies and dirty clothing and all. I was at that point treated like a criminal. I was lead to a picnic table by 4 people where I sat for well over an hour and a half waiting for a ride home (NEVER AGAIN!!!) in 45 degree weather with only a light jacket. If I had been closer to home (I was 105 miles from home) I would have walked, unfortunately we don’t have cabs. I was guarded like a criminal. It was after 8pm and the others were eating dinner. I wasn’t even offered a drink or snack, hadn’t eaten since about 2pm.(that’s a guess from looking at where the sun was in the sky when we ate lunch) The priest was ultimately in charge of the weekend, if something wasn’t going right, the leader called the priest into the problem to fix it.
I had left something in my room, I had to get demanding to get someone to go get it for me, I wasn’t allowed to go get it, I wasn’t allowed to be alone… I’m not sure what they thought I would do if they left me for 2 minutes to run to my room and grab it.
And I lost my favorite lipstick and one of my favorite pair of panties! DANG!

If anyone locally asks me what goes on at cursillo, I will tell them pretty much whatever they ask. Not to ruin it for them, but to let them know how it’s run and done. Obviously I have no clue about what goes on on Sundays.

Cursillo is not for everyone. But it’s very difficult to discern if it’s for you if when you ask, you are simply told “I can’t describe it, you just have to experience it.” That’s not an answer, that’s a cop out.

I understand your not wanting to hurt your sponsor and making waves is never fun, and this is the last time I will say it, and take with genuine concern and not defence of a movement…tell someone. It may be that they have taken “helpfulness” to an extreme and have strayed from the movement.

The priests at ours were part of the team, but Cursillo is a lay movement meant for the laity, not the ordained. The ordained offer what non one else can at the weekend: Mass and sacraments. They give certain disussions. we had no grading-goodness that would have been bad!!!

What I have learned from this thread (which started off by ME simply asking about it)is that my diocese does a bang-up job. PM me and I will get you in contact with the right people to see how it apparently should be done. If asked by someone I will honestly answer that this was the best thing I ever did for myself and I am no Bible beater or anything. I will say that I have heard that it not always done well in other areas of the country so do your research. I would like to think that others in this thread who had a nbad experieince would be able to say that they did not have a good experieince and would not receommned going where they went, but that they have heard others have great experieinces elsewhere…do your homework.

 

[stanncie]

I agree with everything you said here Kimberly.

I’m not a cursillista but I am a member of Emmaus which I’ve been told is similar to Cursillo. It seems that the experience the poster had was awful and not the norm. We have never had a participant leave our retreat house but we have had people that expressed discomfort about certain aspects of the weekend mostly bodily comforts. We have always tried to accomodate everyone to the best of our abilities.

We are also a lay movement and only employ priests for the sacraments and certain lectures. I would say that 99.9 percent of participants leave on a high and express a deeper relationship with Christ which is the whole purpose of the retreat. We have had many conversions of the heart. We have even had a lady convert from evangelical to Catholic due to the retreat. Emmaus is open to any Christian demonination although in it is a Catholic movement

I also encourage the lady that had the awful weekend to say something to someone in charge. You can help change whatever wonky things are going on in your parish chapter.

 

[DebChris]

I agree with everything you said here Kimberly.

I’m not a cursillista but I am a member of Emmaus which I’ve been told is similar to Cursillo. It seems that the experience the poster had was awful and not the norm. We have never had a participant leave our retreat house but we have had people that expressed discomfort about certain aspects of the weekend mostly bodily comforts. We have always tried to accomodate everyone to the best of our abilities.

We are also a lay movement and only employ priests for the sacraments and certain lectures. I would say that 99.9 percent of participants leave on a high and express a deeper relationship with Christ which is the whole purpose of the retreat. We have had many conversions of the heart. We have even had a lady convert from evangelical to Catholic due to the retreat. Emmaus is open to any Christian demonination although in it is a Catholic movement

I also encourage the lady that had the awful weekend to say something to someone in charge. You can help change whatever wonky things are going on in your parish chapter.

gh4 also needs a friend at this time. My reunion group met Saturday mornings in a local coffee shop. One emphasis of the weekend is that we do not travel our spiritual journey alone. Even if you are not talking about personal formation with Cursillistas, it is worthwhile to find somebody with whom you can talk, or to share a morning cup of coffee.

 

[BlueRoses12]

I would like to thank gh4 and maryjk for courageously coming forth with their information.

I, too, went to a weekend that was an offshoot of Cursillo. I found it quite harmful, and regret that I did. I have no trouble understanding how unsettling it was for gh4; I was haunted by the experience for years.

The actual, formal Cursillo organization has a policy that certain people should be dissuaded from going on a weekend. Those whose lives are in upheaval or have any kind of mental health challenge. Unfortunately, since everything is deliberately kept so secret, it’s impossible for those types of people to know this, ahead of time. Since a candidate has no idea what the weekend consists of, they’d have no clue how harmful it might be to them.

One has to depend on the competence and sincerity of those who run the weekend and recruit the candidates – and quite often these well-meaning but naive people slip up. They are so ignorantly overconfident in the cure-all properties of their weekend, they tend to push everyone they can to attend one, without asking the hard-but-necessary questions. They ignore their own rules.

Those who have experienced anything like sexual abuse can become triggered and dissociate during the weekend, mostly because of the way the candidates are controlled and infantilized, and the high level of physical intimacy, in the form of constant hugging, one is pushed into. (No, not outright forced, but strongly pressured.)

One is kept in a constant state of confusion and overstimulation, never knowing what will happen next, and in a position of almost total childlike dependency. One is forced to take a childlike role, and if dreadful things happened during your childhood, this can be very triggering. I’m surprised more people don’t have nervous breakdowns during their weekend. The movement is a powder keg, and frankly I see a lawsuit in its future.

Carol Bonomo, the author of “The Abbey Up The Hill,” details her Cursillo experience, and it’s a rather hair-raising one. That portion of the book used to be available online as a preview but unfortunately no longer is. I strongly urge buying the book or borrowing it from a library just for that portion, if one is considering going on a Cursillo weekend. She ended up huddled crying in a fetal knot as she whispered to her husband what had happened to her – “I did what I had to do, to get out of there.” This shows the careless way this movement plays with vulnerable people’s wellbeing.

You’re doing a hard but necessary job, gh4 and maryjk. Telling your story, disseminating this information, will help protect vulnerable people from harm.

Here are some pertinent links:

sites.google.com/site/pwcjpowell/cursillo

missionmoment.blogspot.com/2007/09/cursillo-i-have-no-idea-sort-of.html

gpodder.net/podcast/apologeticscom-weekly-radio-show/are-you-trying-to-manipulate-me

forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=012607

 

[BlueRoses12]

Oh. I think I neglected to mention the most important thing.

When I’d been persuaded to attend the Cursillo weekend, I really didn’t need Catholicism 101. As a convert, who had read her way into the Church, I’d already “taken the 101 courses.” I loved the Church deeply, studied Her, and did my best to live according to Her precepts. Much of what they they taught me at the weekend did not line up with what I’d learned at all.

Carol Bonomo’s story was especially poignant because at the end of the weekend, she and the other candidates were pressured to make lifelong vows to follow the Cursillo way. She did so, in a semi-brainwashed state, believing in what she was doing on the smiling surface, and on another level recognizing that it was a vow under duress and hence worthless. “I did what I had to do, to get out of there.” The shame of having made that vow, of having lied to God, stuck with her.

On the evening before my ride picked me up, I’d watched Leonardo de Fillipis’ magnificent movie, “Maximilian, Saint of Auschwitz” on EWTN. I remember wondering what I would do if I were put into a concentration camp. Would I be able to be as faithful as Maximilian?

The weekend was called “Catholic” but I soon found it was anything but. I was put with a table facilitator who was a habitless dissident Benedictine nun who frankly despised the Church. I don’t even think she believed in God. We were directed to become dissidents, the only valid form of Catholicism in her eyes.

I’d never experienced an “agape meal” and what we were doing on Saturday night wasn’t explained. All I could see was that the group of us were sat down, at a formally set dinner table, and an imitation mass was being offered. A counterfeit, a “mummery” of the Mass, if you will. When the words directly from the Mass were used by a layperson to “consecrate” bits of white sliced bread, I don’t think I’d ever been so offended in my life. And yet I couldn’t find the will to walk out.

Like Carol Bonomo, I “did what I had to do, to get out of there.” Social pressure, isolation, several known mind-control techniques, in tandem with one’s own fears, can rob one of the strength to follow one’s own principles – to one’s everlasting shame.

 

[DebChris]

Oh. I think I neglected to mention the most important thing.

When I’d been persuaded to attend the Cursillo weekend, I really didn’t need Catholicism 101. As a convert, who had read her way into the Church, I’d already “taken the 101 courses.” I loved the Church deeply, studied Her, and did my best to live according to Her precepts. Much of what they they taught me at the weekend did not line up with what I’d learned at all.

Carol Bonomo’s story was especially poignant because at the end of the weekend, she and the other candidates were pressured to make lifelong vows to follow the Cursillo way. She did so, in a semi-brainwashed state, believing in what she was doing on the smiling surface, and on another level recognizing that it was a vow under duress and hence worthless. “I did what I had to do, to get out of there.” The shame of having made that vow, of having lied to God, stuck with her.

On the evening before my ride picked me up, I’d watched Leonardo de Fillipis’ magnificent movie, “Maximilian, Saint of Auschwitz” on EWTN. I remember wondering what I would do if I were put into a concentration camp. Would I be able to be as faithful as Maximilian?

The weekend was called “Catholic” but I soon found it was anything but. I was put with a table facilitator who was a habitless dissident Benedictine nun who frankly despised the Church. I don’t even think she believed in God. We were directed to become dissidents, the only valid form of Catholicism in her eyes.

I’d never experienced an “agape meal” and what we were doing on Saturday night wasn’t explained. All I could see was that the group of us were sat down, at a formally set dinner table, and an imitation mass was being offered. A counterfeit, a “mummery” of the Mass, if you will. When the words directly from the Mass were used by a layperson to “consecrate” bits of white sliced bread, I don’t think I’d ever been so offended in my life. And yet I couldn’t find the will to walk out.

Like Carol Bonomo, I “did what I had to do, to get out of there.” Social pressure, isolation, several known mind-control techniques, in tandem with one’s own fears, can rob one of the strength to follow one’s own principles – to one’s everlasting shame.

This does not in any way shape or form describe a Cursillo weekend. No vows are made. The spiritual director, a diocesan priest, presides over every Mass. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is available and there is time for silent adoration in front of the Eucharist. Everything I experienced during my weekend conformed to the magisterium of the Church. The 3 pillars of Cursillo are Holiness (also called Piety), Study (also called Formation), and Evangelization. Formation is a lifelong process in which a person continues to learn as much as possible about his/her faith. Holiness, or piety, is the individual’s prayer life, and evangelization is how we share our faith through the life we live. None of us travels this faith journey alone. Instead we meet in groups to share what we have discovered along the path and to help one another through the invertible struggles.

 

[BlueRoses12]

This does not in any way shape or form describe a Cursillo weekend. .

I think you mean to say, “This does not in any way shape or form describe *my *Cursillo weekend,” don’t you?

I’m glad you had a good weekend.

I, too, can only describe my experience, and mention the published experience of the author Carol Bonomo. And allude to the experiences of others, which I’ve found by doing web searches. I’ve found plenty that more closely resemble mine than yours. That is the unfortunate result of the lack of controls and the secrecy inherent in the movement. The quality of one’s experience really is a roll of the dice.

 

[gh4]

Oh. I think I neglected to mention the most important thing.

When I’d been persuaded to attend the Cursillo weekend, I really didn’t need Catholicism 101. As a convert, who had read her way into the Church, I’d already “taken the 101 courses.” I loved the Church deeply, studied Her, and did my best to live according to Her precepts. Much of what they they taught me at the weekend did not line up with what I’d learned at all.

Amen to this. I felt like it was simply a rerun of many things I had read, and many things that I had concentrated on learning in the past few years as I came to a new parish etc. and had more time to spend learning about my chosen religion.

On the evening before my ride picked me up, I’d watched Leonardo de Fillipis’ magnificent movie, “Maximilian, Saint of Auschwitz” on EWTN. I remember wondering what I would do if I were put into a concentration camp. Would I be able to be as faithful as Maximilian?

There were 2 of us from my parish, and the other gal said on Friday night “now I know what it’s like to be in prison” I agreed with her.

The weekend was called “Catholic” but I soon found it was anything but. I was put with a table facilitator who was a habitless dissident Benedictine nun who frankly despised the Church. I don’t even think she believed in God. We were directed to become dissidents, the only valid form of Catholicism in her eyes.

I had no issues like this, thank goodness.

Like Carol Bonomo, I “did what I had to do, to get out of there.” Social pressure, isolation, several known mind-control techniques, in tandem with one’s own fears, can rob one of the strength to follow one’s own principles – to one’s everlasting shame.

I left early and I have been criticized for that.

.

I am willing to tell all that happened to me. I will NOT repeat any of the rollos info that I heard during the weekend, that is confidential. But honestly I don’t remember most of it, I have to look at my “notes” to remember what it was.

I’m still uncomfortable at Mass. Somehow despite the “everything is secret,” people learned (without me telling them) that I left cursillo early and was very upset.

I have still not come to terms with some of what was said to me, while I was waiting for a ride home, by the priest and one of the members of the giving team… those were the two who were “watching” me while I was waiting.

I have no psychiatric history, no depression, no severe trauma memories etc. and so forth. I should have been a perfect candidate.

It makes me feel a little less like a freak to hear that there were others who reacted in a similar way to cursillo.

The links are good, thanks for those as well.
I hope that some day I shall be over this, but it’s not happened yet. I still have trouble talking about it without tearing up. And I no longer cry daily about it.
My priest has been wonderful helping me to work my way through this.
I have made a new best friend who has helped me a lot, a Mormon neighbor who had just been there for me and held my hand while I cried and listened to me sob out my story to her.
I am now a “pew sitter” at mass. I have no desire to work in any ministry. I was a musician for our masses before I went, I was also a lector and a EMHC and a sacristan. I can’t do any of that now, just can’t. But I am going to mass. One step at a time.

 

[DebChris]

I think you mean to say, “This does not in any way shape or form describe *my *Cursillo weekend,” don’t you?

I’m glad you had a good weekend.

I, too, can only describe my experience, and mention the published experience of the author Carol Bonomo. And allude to the experiences of others, which I’ve found by doing web searches. I’ve found plenty that more closely resemble mine than yours. That is the unfortunate result of the lack of controls and the secrecy inherent in the movement. The quality of one’s experience really is a roll of the dice.

Please do not change my words.

 

[BlueRoses12]

Please do not change my words.

Okay, I won’t.

And in return, please do not imply that I’m speaking falsehood, which is what your original statement, “This does not in any way shape or form describe a Cursillo weekend.” indicated to me. Granted, I could have misread it.

Making blanket statements about someone else’s weekend (“nobody is blindfolded or taken to a secret location,” this doesn’t happen, that doesn’t happen, etc.) – is at best unprovable, and at worst, implies that the person who relates having experienced such a thing is a liar.

It’s been pretty well established that people’s experiences run the gamut between gently constructive and horrendous. You can’t get away from that fact. You can’t make the hair-raisingly bad experiences just go away.

I clearly cop to having an “agenda” here. I want to do what is within my power to prevent anyone like gh4 from being hurt.

People are foolishly playing with fire, trapping vulnerable people and forcing untrained, inept spiritual direction and psychiatry on them. I’m pretty sure eventually there will be a tragedy and a subsequent lawsuit that will force these weekends to shape up or close down. Until this happens, my apostolate is to get this information out there, publically accessible, so this does not happen – and I mourn the fact that I didn’t see this thread until too late. (I’m so sorry, gh4. I feel like I failed you.)

All people want is information. If I had been provided with the information that can be read on this thread, I would never have attended my weekend. Information and the dispelling of the cloud of secrecy. That is all we want. It’s not going to harm the experiences of those who would benefit from a weekend.

I’m pretty sure the Catechism is pretty clear that nobody is obligated to folllow an oath of secrecy that one has been manipulated into, and which would deprive people of information they had a right to, and would shroud harmful activities. Little Janet doesn’t have to honor the promise of secrecy she made to Uncle Charlie about their “fun.”

BTW, to truly “change your words” would, I should think, involve going into the words within the automatic quote function at the top of a reply post, and altering them without owning one’s alteration, which I did not do, and which would be clearly malicious. But I will respect the your wishes.

 

[gh4]

Until this happens, my apostolate is to get this information out there, publically accessible, so this does not happen – and I mourn the fact that I didn’t see this thread until too late. (I’m so sorry, gh4. I feel like I failed you.)

You didn’t fail me, the Cursillo Movement failed me, horribly.

I HUGELY resent the fact that so much is secret. It shouldn’t be a secret to let people know the basics… lack of privacy, lack of any time alone, lack of sunshine, windows all covered, lack of protein, lack of sleep and so forth. Had I known all of this, I could have cancelled my participation. Or I could have taken steps to protect myself. I would take a watch and keep it in my pocket. I would drive myself. And I would take all my own food including my snacks. I would have brought many blankets and slept outside alone if needed (we had a nice courtyard) and I would have brought some kind of alarm to wake me early so I could have alone time. And if I got tired during the catechism 101 lectures, I would put my head down on the table and take a nap. Doing those things might have helped, but the giving team had such an agenda that I’m not sure it would have been enough. Heck, the head of the team couldn’t even say the Hail Mary correctly.

That weekend cost me a fortune, in cash (paid someone 50$ a day to stay with my dogs, had to buy stuff to go etc. and the fee for the weekend.)
It also cost me a lot mentally as well. It ate up days and days of my life that I’ll never get back. And I’m still very hurt and very angry about the whole thing.

Is it great for some? Yes. And then for others, it’s a weekend from hell.

 

[Mummsie]

As I’ve mentioned earlier, I had a wonderful Cursillo weekend. For me everything was open, loving, rejuvenating and inspiring.

However, I am concerned for those who have been harmed in some way. Many of the very weird situations some of you have mentioned are truly alarming. Is it possible some “Cursillo” directors have strayed away from the Truth? Is there someone somewhere that can investigate these “renegade weekends”? It only takes a few extremists with a little bit of power to create havoc in a person’s life. Additionally, who knows the total damage done to the legitimate Cursillo movement.

To those of you harmed by a bad “Cursillo experience”, I am so sorry for your pain. I pray you will find healing. God Bless you.

 

[BlueRoses12]

Frankly – and I may be wrong here; this is just my opinion – but, I think the reason many people are quiet about these types of groups is that they function quite like a fraternity initiation.

One may hate the hazing while it is happening, but when one has finally gotten through it and is accepted into the group, one feels such a sense of accomplishment, such a “high,” one wants to continue one’s connection with the group. (I understand this. Graduating from military boot camp provided me with a similar “high.”)

To an extrovert, this might be a genuinely pleasant, or not too unpleasant, experience. To an introvert, of course, it is the very definition of hell.

At the end of the weekend, when one finally gets one’s autonomy back, one’s adulthood, one’s dignity, the ability to think one’s own thoughts, make one’s own minor decisions, and have private time alone – it’s all the sweeter.

And, of course, one doesn’t want to disclose much about the hazing because that would limit the number of people available on the bottom rung, to be hazed. A certain number of new candidates are necessary for the group to survive. One hates to interfere with that.

All of the “you need to trust,” “you need to ‘let go’,” talk … essentially I believe it’s just to grease the doorknob to prevent people from leaving early, from not submitting to the hazing.

The only thing is, that’s not Christianity. That’s not Catholicism.

I remember one valuable thing my mom told me, and that was, never to allow someone to tie me up. A noted serial killer was able to trap several of his victims that way, by playing light-hearted mind games (“you need to trust!” “You need to let go”) that manipulated them into being bound. Once the handcuffs clicked closed, of course, their fate was sealed.

But suppose he just did good and kindly things to them, like feed them caviar and give them manicures and pedicures? Then they might have said, “Oh! I was so kindly treated when I was tied up. It was such a lovely experience, and being helpless rather added to it.” That doesn’t mean it’s not an essentially bad idea – a really REALLY bad idea – to allow strangers to tie you up.

The pattern of that weekend forcibly removes your adult ability to make your own decisions, to a startling, frightening, unprecedented extent, for several days. (In fact, when I told a friend how the weekend had started, she said to me, “You were kidnapped.”)

One’s nose is almost rubbed in one’s loss of adulthood, by silly, embarrassing practices like holding hands when traveling from room to room. From what I understand, it’s part of what makes the weekend supposedly “work.”

It might not be harmful for all. It might not even be unpleasant for all. Some may simply appreciate the manicures and pedicures.

Others, on the other hand, might be sent reeling from the mind games being played, the false authority wrongly asserted over them, and the position of helplessness in which they find themselves – the sound of the handcuffs clicking closed.

The weekend erodes one’s boundaries to an alarming extent, when it seeks to take over your spiritual direction, act as your psychiatrist, and pressure you to physically embrace people no matter how badly it affects you. Boundaries are not bad. They are given by God.

Here is another article on Cursillo:

chastitysf.com/q_cursillo.htm

And, by the same author, an excellent article on boundaries:

guidetopsychology.com/boundaries.htm

 

[BlueRoses12]

As I’ve mentioned earlier, I had a wonderful Cursillo weekend. For me everything was open, loving, rejuvenating and inspiring.

However, I am concerned for those who have been harmed in some way. …]

To those of you harmed by a bad “Cursillo experience”, I am so sorry for your pain. I pray you will find healing. God Bless you.

Thank you, Mummsie.

 

[Mummsie]

BlueRose,

Have you looked to the Leaders of our Church for some serious investigation? I am a firm believer in raising the red flag as high as it needs to go to get some serious attention to this issue. I hate to see the good Cursillo groups hurt by these renegades.

God Bless You.