Cursillo

[gh4]

The pattern of that weekend forcibly removes your adult ability to make your own decisions, to a startling, frightening, unprecedented extent, for several days. (In fact, when I told a friend how the weekend had started, she said to me, “You were kidnapped.”)

One’s nose is almost rubbed in one’s loss of adulthood, by silly, embarrassing practices like holding hands when traveling from room to room. From what I understand, it’s part of what makes the weekend supposedly “work.”

OH. MY. GOSH. That’s exactly it.
The being made back into a child dependent upon others for everything, even to asking to go to the bathroom like a child. Being made like a child, being escorted to our rooms for any reason, drawing those stupid posters with crayons and markers like little children. Not being told what time it is, like a child who can’t read a clock. Being fed when Momma wants to fed us, going to bed when daddy says it’s time. Holding hands like little children. Singing songs as loud as we can, like first graders… or we weren’t allowed to eat… We had to get the cooks permission to eat, just like a child.
I am in my 50’s and I totally am NOT a little child and this is one of the things that I am angriest about, being treated like a baby. No wonder I hated every moment of the weekend and was shocked at how we were treated and how it was run. They intentionally treated us like babies, which none of us were, in fact, most were 45 or over I believe.

How does the covering of windows and not being allowed to be in or see the sun, or be able to tell when it’s dark or light (from inside the rollo room anyhow) have to do with being a child…

How do they do this with the men? I am guessing that the cursillo for men is different, most men wouldn’t tolerate being treated this way.

Oh, this is eye opening for me. The entire weekend was against everything I am as “ME” inside and out, from the lousy carb laden food, to the being treated like a child, to the lack of personal space and time… Oh… more people need to know this…

 

[Jeremiah1278]

After watching this thread marinate for a while, it seems clear to me that some Cursillos are very poorly run and causing harm. It’s a shame. Cursillo is fantastic.

Mummsie, I agree. We all deserve answers as to how Cursillo monitors and corrects what you term renegade weekends. The voice of someone harmed by a weekend may not be heard as much as a Cursillista who loved theirs. I’ll bring this thread to the attention of the executive director of the National Cursillo Center. I’d encourage other Cursillista’s to do something similar. The national organization or the regional organizations can’t fix what they don’t know about.

 

[Mummsie]

After watching this thread marinate for a while, it seems clear to me that some Cursillos are very poorly run and causing harm. It’s a shame. Cursillo is fantastic.

Mummsie, I agree. We all deserve answers as to how Cursillo monitors and corrects what you term renegade weekends. The voice of someone harmed by a weekend may not be heard as much as a Cursillista who loved theirs. I’ll bring this thread to the attention of the executive director of the National Cursillo Center. I’d encourage other Cursillista’s to do something similar. The national organization or the regional organizations can’t fix what they don’t know about.

Thank you, Jeremiah for giving some direction on where to take these concerns. I just went to this website and sent them an email recapping what I’ve learned in these threads. Hopefully, we will soon learn what the next steps are.

www.natl-cursillo.org

 

[BlueRoses12]

I’d like to thank Mummsie and Jeremiah for taking this respectfully and seriously, and I’d like to answer their questions.

Mummsie says, “Have you looked to the Leaders of our Church for some serious investigation?” and Jeremiah says, “The national organization or the regional organizations can’t fix what they don’t know about.”

It took me 10 years to talk about my weekend; another five to really come to terms with it. Yes, I did complain, to the priest who at least titularly ran the weekend. He was wonderful. I am convinced that he was unaware of the abuses, and if I’d had the courage to come to him right away, he would have helped me get a ride home. I hesitated to take it further because the Church already had such a black eye (this was after 2002). By the time this priest graciously heard me, and sent recommendations to the lay leadership team, most of the people I’d had hurtful interactions with were gone.

I think one of the reasons it took me so long was because during the ride home I was treated much like gh4 when her guards were waiting with her for her ride. In that kind of state, being pushed to the wall, one’s skin is very thin. My sponsor and supposed “friend” who’d brought me, who up until then had been so fulsomely kind, angrily upbraided me for having said *anything *negative to her friends, that I’d given them *any *trouble. As maryjk’s proposed sponsor did, she “took it personally.”

Another reason it took me so long was … well, look at this thread. Look at how long maryjk had to press to get her questions answered. Cursillo has such support. I think that what happened here later was rather rare – people getting to know someone before their Cursillo experience, as a credible, likeable person, and then seeing it go south for them, badly.

Finally, it took me so long because of my background. The very reason people like myself are not recommended for the emotionally intense experience of a Cursillo weekend. People who have my background tend to be discounted just for that reason.

Regarding “The national organization or the regional organizations can’t fix what they don’t know about.” Well, why on earth don’t they? Are they at least making an effort to find this out?

Why are the candidates essentially being told to serve as their quality control? Why aren’t there other controls built into the system? I should think that when one deliberately strips people of their natural defenses, one has a duty to be alert to protect them. To do otherwise is like declawing cats and then setting them free in the wild.

You call them “renegade weekends.” In my opinion, the problem lies in the entire concept behind the weekend. Therefore, I believe problems come about, not because the instigators misunderstand the aim of the weekend, but understand it too well and implement it with imprudent zeal.

How else do you explain the very idea of capturing people and blocking off any avenue of escape, plunging them into childhood helplessness for three days (which, admittedly, might not be enough to seriously destabilize an already-stable person, but would likely be seen as creepy), and then hold them until they participate in a love-bombing that would probably put off anyone with a modicum of social reserve? For many people, such an aspect is just cringeworthy. Given the choice, they’d probably refuse.

I found military boot camp far easier to take, because at least then I knew what was going on, knew what it would be like, had agreed to it beforehand, and it matched my values.

The idea of putting unaware people into such a radical experience of vulnerability just astounds me. Even if this weren’t dangerous on the face of it, considering human nature and Original Sin … hasn’t anyone in this movement heard of events like Jonestown?

In fact, during my weekend I brought this up. The good counselors seemed totally oblivious, unaware of the last 20 years of current events. The words “cult” or “cultlike” zoomed past them without making a ripple. Yes, this might be frightening if Genuinely Sinister People™ did that, but … WE know we’re sincere and harmless! We’re good people! And you need our manicures and pedicures, even if receiving them is against your will! God wants this to happen.

“We know we’re good people” isn’t enough controls built into the system. Neither is “God wouldn’t let us make a mistake.” That is rather the point. It’s the very mistake cults make.

This type of behavior could give another black eye to the Church. This doesn’t play in Peoria.

Well, I’m starting to repeat myself. (Starting?-grin!). I’ve made my point and carried out my apostolate. Thank you for listening.

 

[DebChris]

@Bluerose–You stated in your first post that your weekend was an “offshoot” of Cursillo.
What you described was not a typical Cursillo weekend. It was counterfeit. gh4, likewise, described a weekend that strayed from the norm. She has received support, especially as she did not seek to denigrate a movement that has a long history of positive results.
You and she are the only persons who have described “guards” that kept people from doing what they wanted to do. Cursillo, as noted several times is a lay movement. There are safeguards in place to ensure authentic Catholic teaching. Talks are submitted to the leadership and rehearsed in advance. The speakers are not professionals, and I never expected a polished presentation. I have never been to Cursillo leadership weekends, but I know people who have. Speakers are chosen from those who have completed the leadership weekends, at least in my diocese.
For those of us who work and take responsibility for our own needs, it is not always easy to let go and let others give us the care we need, even for a weekend. It is this care that we accept with childlike, not childish, openness. The workers are fellow Cursillistas, lay persons who have made the weekend. These Cursillistas volunteer their time to ensure that everybody is comfortable and fed. As mentioned several times, the cooks are not chefs, but people who choose to share their home cooking with us. Arrangements can be made in advance if a person has special dietary needs. Nobody is asked to stop thinking. It is a gross exaggeration to compare Cursillo to Jonestown or to imply that the weekend will lead to Stockholm syndrome.
Perhaps the facilities are not the best, but they are what is available. I slept on a cot on a high school gym floor. Showers were taken in the locker room. Some Cursillos are held in better facilities. I am older than gh4.
Cursillo does not claim to be anything other than a Basic Course in Christianity, “Catholicism 101,” and it does not hurt anybody to get back to the basics of our faith from time to time. The beauty of our Faith is that despite its relative simplicity, we will never reach the depth of all it holds. Cusillo is strong in my diocese. It has not been available in other places where I lived. The Catholic Catechism for Adults in the United States describes Cursillo, along with several other movements as an authentic movement of the Holy Spirit.

 

[Mummsie]

BlueRose,

I’m sorry it took so long for us to respond to your and Gh4’s concerns. Like DebChris, I had a totally awesome experience. It was hard to fathom the experiences you and Gh4 described. Nonetheless, they were real and need to be addressed.

I will consider the emotional stability of any candidates I recommend for Cursillo. However, knowing the program in my diocese, I feel confident in recommending Cursillo to most.

I will post when I receive any info from the National Cursillo Center.

God Bless You.

 

[gh4]

Please remember that where one or two have had issues there are more who are suffering in silence because they are too afraid to speak up. At my cursillo, at least one other person who didn’t speak up felt as though she were in prison… that doesn’t say much for the program, how can a weekend that’s “for you” be something that makes one feel as though they are in prison? Not one person in the room I slept in was “getting it.” We had no idea what the weekend was suppose to accomplish for us.

Thank you Mummsie for your kind words. It helps. I have been accused of lying even, and I would never do that, every word about my weekend is the truth and how it made me feel.

 

[BlueRoses12]

Hi. I thought my prior post would be my last, but there remains more I need to say.

DebChris, thank you for the gentle tone of your posts. I’m sincerely glad you had a good experience and the group has been good for you. However, there is nothing in your latest post – not a word – that, imo, disproves or even seriously challenges anything that has been said, by me, gh4, or any of the critics of Cursillo.

There remains one thing I think people need to keep in mind: questions of right and wrong.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the section on “lying” is nuanced, and could spark a debate. I believe, however, it is clear regarding Cursillo. “To lie is to speak or act against the truth in order to lead someone into error. By injuring man’s relation to truth and to his neighbor, a lie offends against the fundamental relation of man and of his word to the Lord.”

Deceiving people is wrong. Even for supposedly “good reasons.” Dissembling, keeping information from people that they ask for, even to preserve some sort of well-meaning surprise, fits into this category, I believe.

In the archetypal example, a Nazi pounding on your door demanding to know if there are any Jews in your house: it’s permissible to give a clever non-answer because he has no right to the information.

Someone deciding on whether to attend a weekend retreat, on the other hand, *does *have the right to the information you could provide.

They have to decide whether to allocate possibly-scarce monetary resources to babysitting and pet care, take precious time off work, family duties, etc. It could be quite an investment on their part. They have the right to know if this is the type of experience that will be worthwhile to them – or even tolerable, if they have any vulnerabilities they haven’t divulged. (Very few people disclose their psychiatric history in their church circles.)

I believe you have a moral duty to come right out and admit beforehand what the weekend consists of – how infantilizing, pressured, and touchy-feely it is. Give people a chance to make an informed decision.

I believe it’s deeply wrong to ambush unaware people into attending such weekends, and then blithely assume any positive change-of-heart or supposed conversion they may display at the end is benign, unfeigned, not a show of politeness, and harmonious with their unpressured free will.

 

[DebChris]

It is understood that individuals who attend Cursillo, or any retreat for that matter, may experience a mountain top experience. As with any high, a person needs to return to the valley, and may question the experience. This is one of the reasons for the fourth day of Cursillo. Cursillistas continue to support one another through the struggles and triumphs of their Christian journey. Our life in Christ is not lived in isolation, but with others. As stated several times throughout this thread, because of my past history, my personal experience was much more subtle than others report. I would ask the cynics not to discount the conversion stories that so many have reported. Do not discount what the Church supports as a genuine work of the Holy Spirit.
Others, besides myself, have stated that not everything that occurs or is experienced during a Cursillo weekend can be put into words. It is not because Cursillo is a “secret” organization. It is knowing that God is working powerfully in our lives. Nobody is forced to attend a Cursillo. The invitation may be accepted or rejected.
As the Olympics come to an end, consider how many times the news broadcasters have warned of “spoiler” alerts when reporting the results. If I went someplace that I enjoyed immensely, I will not necessarily tell the person to whom I recommend the place anything other than “I had a great time.” I have the sense that people are looking for conspiracy theories where none exist. I already had long term relationships with the few people I have personally invited to experience a Cursillo weekend. I gave these friends a copy of the booklet that explains what Cursillo is. The application that I completed before making Cursillo required the signature of my parish priest. It also asked if I had my spouse’s consent before making the weekend. I was invited by a person I trusted. Nobody “ambushed” me.
Cursillo is a lay movement that started in Spain in the 1940’s. It received papal approval in 1966. cursillotoronto.com/papal.html

It is understood that when one part of the body hurts, so does the whole body. Nevertheless, please do not discount a movement that has positively impacted the spiritual lives of millions over the course of its history. I would also ask those on this thread who reported a negative experience to find somebody in your life to support your personal efforts to grow spiritually. Begin slowly with a fifteen minute spiritual devotion with which you feel comfortable. It may be reading the Bible, reciting the rosary, or any other devotional practice. Do talk to your priest about your experience and personal struggles with faith. Ask for his guidance. He may be able to give you personal insight that you will not find in these threads.

 

[DebChris]

With the recent negativity in this thread, I wanted to come back to what the OP asked. KimberlyAnn, I join with the first 6 respondents to this thread in encouraging you to make Cursillo. Please do not allow the negativity to dissuade you.

The Tucson Cursillo website best describes the purpose of the weekend. The purpose of the weekend is to facilitate and encounter Christ in order to experience a full and progressive renewal of one’s baptismal commitment…Throughout the weekend the participants pray together, attend daily mass and have the opportunity to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. While gh4 reported a negative experience, the more typical result for Cursillistas is a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, a better understanding of the power of the Holy Spirit, and an understanding that they have been called to share God’s love with others.

“The Cursillo Movement has the support of the vast majority of the American hierarchy. It is joined to the National Conference of Catholic Bishops through an official liaison in the person of Most Rev. James S. Sullivan, Bishop of Fargo, and through the Bishops’ Secretariat for the Laity in Washington, D.C.” cursillo.org/wichita/English/About/history.htm. This Wichita website also includes words of encouragement for Cursillo from both Pope Paul VI and Pope John Paul II. Cursillo is an international movement.The first English speaking Cursillo was held in San Angelo, Texas in 1961.

 

[gh4]

With the recent negativity in this thread, I wanted to come back to what the OP asked. KimberlyAnn, I join with the first 6 respondents to this thread in encouraging you to make Cursillo. Please do not allow the negativity to dissuade you.

The Tucson Cursillo website best describes the purpose of the weekend. The purpose of the weekend is to facilitate and encounter Christ in order to experience a full and progressive renewal of one’s baptismal commitment…Throughout the weekend the participants pray together, attend daily mass and have the opportunity to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation. While gh4 reported a negative experience, the more typical result for Cursillistas is a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ, a better understanding of the power of the Holy Spirit, and an understanding that they have been called to share God’s love with others.

“The Cursillo Movement has the support of the vast majority of the American hierarchy. It is joined to the National Conference of Catholic Bishops through an official liaison in the person of Most Rev. James S. Sullivan, Bishop of Fargo, and through the Bishops’ Secretariat for the Laity in Washington, D.C.” cursillo.org/wichita/English/About/history.htm. This Wichita website also includes words of encouragement for Cursillo from both Pope Paul VI and Pope John Paul II. Cursillo is an international movement.The first English speaking Cursillo was held in San Angelo, Texas in 1961.

Yup, and the Tucson Cursillo has a picture on their website and I’m in it and they never asked my permission to post my image on their website. At least I have no recollection of signing such an agreement and wavier to post it on the WWW. At least it’s very tiny. But I digress.

I believe that many people WILL enjoy and get a lot our of cursillo. However, they should be told what it’s about and what is going to be done and exactly how they are going to treat people.

I DEFENDED cursillo in the beginning, never believing that it could be less than wonderful… then I went to the cursillo and came back a different person, but not in a good way. It did indeed change my life but not for the better. I will NEVER EVER knowingly let someone else walk into this without knowing what they are walking into. It’s ALWAYS best to know in advance why you can’t have a watch, or drive yourself and so forth. How I wish that someone would have told me about it, it would have saved me a lot of heartache and even, a lot of money.

 

[gh4]

It also occurred to me that there should be no problems telling folks what happens.

If you are afraid that if you tell them what goes on and what happens that they won’t come, there’s something wrong with that picture. As far as the “I can’t explain it, you just have to experience it,” that just doesn’t hold water for me. Should have been my first clue.

 

[DebChris]

It also occurred to me that there should be no problems telling folks what happens.

If you are afraid that if you tell them what goes on and what happens that they won’t come, there’s something wrong with that picture. As far as the “I can’t explain it, you just have to experience it,” that just doesn’t hold water for me. Should have been my first clue.

Would you accuse me of lying because your experience was a far cry from my experience? There was nothing “infanticizing” about my weekend. There were no guards. Provision was made for those with special dietary needs.
My weekend was a prayerful one that included Mass, the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and time before the Blessed Sacrament as well as talks about our Catholic Faith. Cursillo is a basic course in Christianity. This is what I tell people.
For many, Cursillo is the first time that they experience the workings of the Holy Spirit within their lives. That experience is as individual as the person and often described as a “mountain top” experience. Not everybody will experience this mountain top.
When my friend of many years ago spoke about Cursillo, he said it was the first time he saw men actively hugging one another. It changed his life. One reason men and women have segregated weekends is because it allows them to be more open with their feelings. There are things that women do not comfortably discuss with men and vice versa.

 

[gh4]

Would you accuse me of lying because your experience was a far cry from my experience? There was nothing “infanticizing” about my weekend. There were no guards. Provision was made for those with special dietary needs.
My weekend was a prayerful one that included Mass, the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and time before the Blessed Sacrament as well as talks about our Catholic Faith. Cursillo is a basic course in Christianity. This is what I tell people.
For many, Cursillo is the first time that they experience the workings of the Holy Spirit within their lives. That experience is as individual as the person and often described as a “mountain top” experience. Not everybody will experience this mountain top.
When my friend of many years ago spoke about Cursillo, he said it was the first time he saw men actively hugging one another. It changed his life. One reason men and women have segregated weekends is because it allows them to be more open with their feelings. There are things that women do not comfortably discuss with men and vice versa.

I would never accuse you of lying. And I do believe that there are some great cursillos out there. Mine wasn’t one of them. And I would imagine that those from this cursillo who go on to give a weekend will mimic the way this one was done simply because it will be all they know. So they will be perpetuating the same problems that the one I attended had. They held up their books several times during the weekend and told us that this was the only thing they got, they had to rely on their own experiences to put on the weekend. They told us how hard they worked and how much they had sacrificed to do our weekend. One of the gals who was giving the weekend told me when I was leaving that I had ruined her weekend by my leaving. HELLO???

I just think the best thing that could be done is to be up front and each person attending should be aware that they will be sleeping in groups and eating in groups, drawing posters and coloring and being graded on said posters. You will be escorted everywhere you go. You will not be allowed outside or to see out the windows. You will be eating at (give the times) and this is the menu. You will go to bed at this time and you will be awakened at this time… and so forth. No surprises. If I had been told that I would have zero minutes to myself each day alone, I would cancelled right then and there.
Each days approx. schedule should be given.
I wasn’t there on Sunday, but if they are throwing some kind of program at the end, the people in the cursillo should be aware. If they plan on decorating houses, they should be aware of that. I would have been livid if someone had decorated my house. And my poor dogs would have gone crazy as well. It would have been a really bad scene.

I just think if more info is given, there won’t be so many surprises that are not good ones and people can make better informed decisions. Heck, I never even got a list of what I was supposed to bring for the weekend.

 

[DebChris]

I would never accuse you of lying. And I do believe that there are some great cursillos out there. Mine wasn’t one of them. And I would imagine that those from this cursillo who go on to give a weekend will mimic the way this one was done simply because it will be all they know. So they will be perpetuating the same problems that the one I attended had. They held up their books several times during the weekend and told us that this was the only thing they got, they had to rely on their own experiences to put on the weekend. They told us how hard they worked and how much they had sacrificed to do our weekend. One of the gals who was giving the weekend told me when I was leaving that I had ruined her weekend by my leaving. HELLO???

I just think the best thing that could be done is to be up front and each person attending should be aware that they will be sleeping in groups and eating in groups, drawing posters and coloring and being graded on said posters. You will be escorted everywhere you go. You will not be allowed outside or to see out the windows. You will be eating at (give the times) and this is the menu. You will go to bed at this time and you will be awakened at this time… and so forth. No surprises. If I had been told that I would have zero minutes to myself each day alone, I would cancelled right then and there.
Each days approx. schedule should be given.
I wasn’t there on Sunday, but if they are throwing some kind of program at the end, the people in the cursillo should be aware. If they plan on decorating houses, they should be aware of that. I would have been livid if someone had decorated my house. And my poor dogs would have gone crazy as well. It would have been a really bad scene.

I just think if more info is given, there won’t be so many surprises that are not good ones and people can make better informed decisions. Heck, I never even got a list of what I was supposed to bring for the weekend.

This shows again that yours was a “renegade” Cursillo. Those in leadership had not gone through the training that Cursillo provides. In my diocese, leaders are required to complete that training. They will have been speakers at prior Cursillos. Speakers are required to take the leadership training and all talks are submitted in advance.
Other than a private retreat, I do not know of any retreats in which I did not eat with the other retreatants. Even with the private retreat, I ate with the community when they ate. One retreat center expected everybody to help with dishes. The hermitage cabins did not have running water. I have never been provided a menu in advance. I’m not sure that is reasonable or practical.
With my Cursillo, I knew that I would be sleeping in a school gym, so there was no surprise in that regard. Nothing was graded. There is not much that needs to be brought other than a Bible, rosary, and casual clothing for the weekend. I also needed to bring bedding for my cot. I am glad that I was not given any “spoilers.” Each participant was given a Cursillo book with information and prayers. This same book is used during Ultreyas.

Any home decorating would have been done by family and friends who knew you were gone for the weekend, not those who provided the Cursillo weekend.

 

[Saber_Mom]

I have read this entire thread.

I was invited by two different people this past spring to go to a Cursillo event as I am very active in my church and in the Catholic school. I was sent paperwork by both of them, and I called one of them to ask more questions about Cursillo as I had several friends who had gone and loved it. She told me that she and her husband would have to meet with my husband and me. I mentioned to her that my husband wasn’t Catholic and would not attend a retreat, but I was willing to meet with both of them on my own. He’s not anti-Catholic, but lets just say he loves me very much and basically tolerates Catholicism. (I pray the Rosary for him every day that one day he will enter the church. Right now, he does not believe in God). All of my children are baptized Catholic and attend Catholic school. Two of the three are altar servers (the third isn’t one just because he isn’t old enough), I help run youth ministry events and I lead prayer meetings for moms in the mornings after we drop our children at school. I pray every day that my husband will eventually find God and join the church (St. Monica help me!)

We saw the woman who I talked with and her husband a few days later at a secular event (football game) and her husband told me I couldn’t go to Cursillo and was not welcome because I wasn’t ready. He told me that he was disappointed that my husband was not Catholic and implied that his being a non-Catholic was the reason why I wasn’t ready.

I was hurt because I volunteer and pray with these people often, but once they found out that my husband wasn’t Catholic, I feel like I’ve been written off when it comes to going to Cursillo. Is there a requirement that one’s spouse be Catholic to attend a Cursillo weekend?

 

[gh4]

This shows again that yours was a “renegade” Cursillo. Those in leadership had not gone through the training that Cursillo provides. In my diocese, leaders are required to complete that training. They will have been speakers at prior Cursillos. Speakers are required to take the leadership training and all talks are submitted in advance.
Other than a private retreat, I do not know of any retreats in which I did not eat with the other retreatants. Even with the private retreat, I ate with the community when they ate. One retreat center expected everybody to help with dishes. The hermitage cabins did not have running water. I have never been provided a menu in advance. I’m not sure that is reasonable or practical.
With my Cursillo, I knew that I would be sleeping in a school gym, so there was no surprise in that regard. Nothing was graded. There is not much that needs to be brought other than a Bible, rosary, and casual clothing for the weekend. I also needed to bring bedding for my cot. I am glad that I was not given any “spoilers.” Each participant was given a Cursillo book with information and prayers. This same book is used during Ultreyas.

Any home decorating would have been done by family and friends who knew you were gone for the weekend, not those who provided the Cursillo weekend.

Well, my lesson has been learned. Once bitten twice (or a 100 times) shy.
I will probably never go on another catholic retreat, trust issues.
I will NEVER EVER as long as I live go anywhere without my own car. I will never go anywhere where don’t know what the menu is. I would most likely bring my own food.
And I would never agree to sleep in a room with more than one other person who also likes to sleep in the dark and brings a flashlight so they can find the bathroom safely in the dark.
And I would never go anywhere where I can’t get any time alone at all ever during the time I spend there. Period.

I have friends of other religions and will probably investigate going with them on some of their spiritual weekends.

This cursillo has/had the blessing of our diocese, and you can’t fight city hall, and I won’t try. I will let others know what my experience was and how terribly hurtful it was and still is.

 

[DebChris]

I have read this entire thread.

I was invited by two different people this past spring to go to a Cursillo event as I am very active in my church and in the Catholic school. I was sent paperwork by both of them, and I called one of them to ask more questions about Cursillo as I had several friends who had gone and loved it. She told me that she and her husband would have to meet with my husband and me. I mentioned to her that my husband wasn’t Catholic and would not attend a retreat, but I was willing to meet with both of them on my own. He’s not anti-Catholic, but lets just say he loves me very much and basically tolerates Catholicism. (I pray the Rosary for him every day that one day he will enter the church. Right now, he does not believe in God). All of my children are baptized Catholic and attend Catholic school. Two of the three are altar servers (the third isn’t one just because he isn’t old enough), I help run youth ministry events and I lead prayer meetings for moms in the mornings after we drop our children at school. I pray every day that my husband will eventually find God and join the church (St. Monica help me!)

We saw the woman who I talked with and her husband a few days later at a secular event (football game) and her husband told me I couldn’t go to Cursillo and was not welcome because I wasn’t ready. He told me that he was disappointed that my husband was not Catholic and implied that his being a non-Catholic was the reason why I wasn’t ready.

I was hurt because I volunteer and pray with these people often, but once they found out that my husband wasn’t Catholic, I feel like I’ve been written off when it comes to going to Cursillo. Is there a requirement that one’s spouse be Catholic to attend a Cursillo weekend?

There is no requirement that a person’s spouse be Catholic make Cursillo. There is no requirement that a person be married. The only requirements are support from your pastor and spouse, if married. Cursillistas include people who are new converts as well as individuals such as myself who are cradle Catholics.
Was the woman’s husband concerned that your making Cursillo would cause conflict within your marriage? Don’t answer that question here.

 

[DebChris]

Well, my lesson has been learned. Once bitten twice (or a 100 times) shy.
I will probably never go on another catholic retreat, trust issues.
I will NEVER EVER as long as I live go anywhere without my own car. I will never go anywhere where don’t know what the menu is. I would most likely bring my own food.
And I would never agree to sleep in a room with more than one other person who also likes to sleep in the dark and brings a flashlight so they can find the bathroom safely in the dark.
And I would never go anywhere where I can’t get any time alone at all ever during the time I spend there. Period.

I have friends of other religions and will probably investigate going with them on some of their spiritual weekends.

This cursillo has/had the blessing of our diocese, and you can’t fight city hall, and I won’t try. I will let others know what my experience was and how terribly hurtful it was and still is.

Try Days of Renewal and other programs in which you can learn more about your faith without needing to go overnight. You might also look at retreat centers run by religious. These will usually be former monasteries.
If you have dietary concerns, please let people know in advance so accommodations can be made. This is true for secular activities such as motels and airplanes as well as religious activities.

 

[Jeremiah1278]

Well, my lesson has been learned. Once bitten twice (or a 100 times) shy.
I will probably never go on another catholic retreat, trust issues.
I will NEVER EVER as long as I live go anywhere without my own car. I will never go anywhere where don’t know what the menu is. I would most likely bring my own food.
And I would never agree to sleep in a room with more than one other person who also likes to sleep in the dark and brings a flashlight so they can find the bathroom safely in the dark.
And I would never go anywhere where I can’t get any time alone at all ever during the time I spend there. Period.

I have friends of other religions and will probably investigate going with them on some of their spiritual weekends.

This cursillo has/had the blessing of our diocese, and you can’t fight city hall, and I won’t try. I will let others know what my experience was and how terribly hurtful it was and still is.

G4H, why do you equate your Cursillo experience with the Catholic faith? You know you attended an awful weekend put on by folks who seemed to not know what they were doing. You continue to make about not being able to go to mass and now you make a comment about investigating spirituality with other religions. You know that Cursillo is totally unnecessary for Catholic living. You know from this thread and candid comments from others who attended Cursillo that yours was not what Cursillo was meant to be.

At this point you are pushing yourself away from the Church by refusing to internalize these facts. You know the Church is the truth. Have you considered that deep down you are actually pushing Her away just to make a point about your Cursillo experience.

Only you are responsible for your relationship to the Church and with Christ. You can’t continue to blame the goofballs who fed you carbohydrates. Our faith must be deeper than that.