Cursillo

[KimberlyAnn0218]

Hello! My husband and I were approached by an older couple at our Parish about attending a Cursillo. They gave us a brochure. I was wondering if anyone who has done this can answer a few questions/give some thoughts/ advice?

1. Do BOTH members of a married couple do this-it can’t just be one of the 2? My husband’s answer was “Maybe someday”
2. Is this a leadership prep type of event? The brochure talked about reading people to take on leadership roles.
3. I am VERY interested in this. I am a married, working outside the home, mother of 3 kids between the ages of 13 and 8; I teach religious education on Weds nights and help with Cub scouts. It sounds like there are “4th day” events that happen after…is this something that I should wait to do?

The “good” news is I don’t have to rush into a decision–I cannot make it to the next scheduled Cursillo anyway-we are on a family vacation. The other thing that concerns me is approaching the priest about this-he has to sign off that he believes me to be emotionally stable he has heard my confessions and knows my struggles, not that it would make me actually unstable, it’s just something that popped into my head. I think I am as stable as any parent my age

Thoughts are appreciated
Kim

 

[SonCatcher]

Hi KimberlyAnn!

Cursillo is intended to be an individual experience (there are never “couple’s” weekends, though some communities hold reunion retreats for couples). Despite that, it is usually recommended that spouses attend in close succession so they have common experiences to share (Cursillistas - those who have completed Cursillo - are discouraged from sharing their experiences with non-Cursillistas so the latter will not have their experience spoiled if they decide to go).

Some alumnae do take roles in leading later sessions but this is NOT the purpose of Cursillo.

Alumnae are not required to continue in 4[sup]th[/sup] day or other reunion events but doing so can help to prolong and enrich the experience. It would be possible to participate in them infrequently and even not at all for some time and then return when your schedule permits.

 

[KimberlyAnn0218]

Hi KimberlyAnn!

Cursillo is intended to be an individual experience (there are never “couple’s” weekends, though some communities hold reunion retreats for couples). Despite that, it is usually recommended that spouses attend in close succession so they have common experiences to share (Cursillistas - those who have completed Cursillo - are discouraged from sharing their experiences with non-Cursillistas so the latter will not have their experience spoiled if they decide to go).

Some alumnae do take roles in leading later sessions but this is NOT the purpose of Cursillo.

Alumnae are not required to continue in 4[sup]th[/sup] day or other reunion events but doing so can help to prolong and enrich the experience. It would be possible to participate in them infrequently and even not at all for some time and then return when your schedule permits.

So your advice is to pursue it? I have doubts that my husband will go for 10+ years ( after our littlest is in college) and I feel this may be a really good thing for me.
Thanks for your feedback!
kim

 

[SonCatcher]

So your advice is to pursue it? I have doubts that my husband will go for 10+ years ( after our littlest is in college) and I feel this may be a really good thing for me.
Thanks for your feedback!
kim

It’s up to you. My wife sponsored me for Cursillo shortly before we married and I enjoyed it.

From what you said in your original post, it sounds like you’re leaning toward going. Your husband may change his mind when he sees how you’re affected (though women’s attendance tends to be higher than men’s).

 

[ladymartha]

I did it and I loved it.

This was years ago…I was married back then and we were without kids, both following the wrong path and the Cursillo came into our lives.

It lasted for years and I had such success in my life after this. I was profoundly affected but I had been profoundly affected by Jesus even before my marriage.

The Cursillo was the best part of my marriage.

 

[Mike602]

I made my Cursillo a little more than a month ago. It was an awesome experience that I will take with me for the rest of my life.

KimberlyAnn is correct, we should not share what goes on during our cursillos. You need to experience everything on a personal level. Everyones Cursillo is different. But lets just say it brings you to another level of understanding.

I would recommend going. I’m not married, but in our area, a husband is encouraged to make his cursillo first then the wife. Us men are supposed to me the leaders in our household when it comes to our faith

Maybe your husband will come around and want to go.

My advice to you is to go without any expectations.

 

[adrift]

It would be well worth it to GO

 

[maryjk]

Bumping this up to ask…

Has anyone ever had a bad experience?

 

[DebChris]

Cursillo weekends are intentionally segregated by gender. Your priest will probably be delighted to sign and encourage your weekend. Cursillo means little catechism. Since you are married, the application also requests that you receive spousal approval, or least consent before making the weekend.

 

[maryjk]

I have been doing some ready on line. I know, I know…but since no one wants to talk about it. I have to find information somewhere. Sorry I won’t pay for and attend a weekend where all I know is that, “wow, I had a great time.”

Some of the information online indicates that there are some things going on during the weekend that are maybe not to my liking. Such as

Love Bombing (gifts and hugs from people I don’t know and forced togetherness)
Extreme lack of sleep ( up and in the group by 7am and not to bed until after 11)
Classes run by people that may not know Church teaching (more of whoever volunteers to talk rather than the most qualified)

Has anyone had those experiences?

 

[DebChris]

Cursillo comes out of Spain. It is a lay movement sanctioned by the Church in response to a lack of catechesis. The first Cursillo was held shortly after WWII. Originally, all weekends were for men. Later, the women’s weekend developed.
The leaders who speak have gone to leadership training and talks are submitted to the Cursillo leadership. They follow a pre-established format. The speakers also spend time in prayer immediately before their talks. Priests are available for confession, and one acts as spiritual director during the weekend. You will not be forced to do anything with which you are uncomfortable. Having weekends segregated by gender enables individuals to more freely express themselves than if the genders were combined.
I had plenty of time to rest. While some curstillitas are blessed and make Cursillo in nice retreat centers, some of us sleep on cots in gymnasiums.
Cursillo is not something to fear.

As Mike says, “My advice to you is to go without any expectations.”

 

[stanncie]

Hi mary!

I encourage you to go to cursillo like everyone else. I have personally not gone but I have gone to Emaus which is just as secretive.

I can relate a little to your frustration since I think 90% of the people I knew in my parish had done Emaus and they refused to tell me anything about it! They would stop talking if they saw me coming and scream, stop! she hasn’t done Emaus lol! It just made me more curious about it so I took the plunge. Now I have done it, I understand why it’s important not to divulge anything about it since it would diminish the participant’s experience. One of the leaders of my emaus group did cursillo when she was young and she told me it changed her life!

From what you posted you seem to be a person who likes to be in control so maybe God knows this and He is asking you to give up some of it. I have done many retreats, some touched me more than others but I learned something very valuable in each one of them and I’m sure you will learn a lot in Cursillo.

The reason I tell you this is because I had a friend who refused to do Emaus just for this reason, she was afraid and tentative since no one would tell her what it was about, she’s not a touchy feely person either and was afraid she would be forced to share things she was not comfortable sharing. Well all of us girls in the young adult group did the retreat.

I along with other people begged her to do it with us but she wouldn’t budge. She finally ended up doing it around a year later and you know what she told me?
" I can tell you stanncie I was soooo dumb and stupid!!! for not doing the retreat earlier." The retreat helped her a lot and she grew a lot spiritually

God Bless you and let us know how it went ( of course not being detailed at all to annoy us who are not cursillistas lol!)

 

[maryjk]

God Bless you and let us know how it went ( of course not being detailed at all to annoy us who are not cursillistas lol!)

Not a problem. After reading what I have read online, I won’t be going. It sounds more cult like than anything that would be truly beneficial to anyone.

Sorry but lack of sleep, love bombing and unexpected gifts are used for brainwashing, not for teaching about Christ.

 

[DebChris]

Cursillo is not a cult. It is a work of the Holy Spirit, as mentioned in the United States Catechism of the Catholic Church for Adults. It is about experiencing the Love of Christ, not merely learning about our Savior as an intellectual exercise. Participants may be liberal or very conservative.
As already mentioned, the application to make Cursillo includes a space for notifying your parish priest and receiving his approval. It recommends that participants have spousal approval if married.

 

[maryjk]

Cursillo is not a cult. It is a work of the Holy Spirit, as mentioned in the United States Catechism of the Catholic Church for Adults.

Did a search in the Catechism and I didn’t find Cursillo. Could you tell me which topic it is under?

It is about experiencing the Love of Christ, not merely learning about our Savior as an intellectual exercise. Participants may be liberal or very conservative.

Experiencing the “Love of Christ” through sleep deprivation? Through love bombing? Or through the gifts that are given to throw you off balance?

As already mentioned, the application to make Cursillo includes a space for notifying your parish priest and receiving his approval. It recommends that participants have spousal approval if married.

I get that I need everyone’s okie dokey.

I have to say, when I posted the things that I have read about, someone, anyone would tell me that Cursillo isn’t about love bombing or sleep deprivation.

I expected someone to post here or maybe even send me a message explaining what I wasn’t understanding.

But no. Everyone is so deep into their secret they can’t even try to explain why my perception is wrong. That tells me that my perception is right and the weekend will be about love bombing, sleep deprivation and unwanted gifts.

 

[stanncie]

Hi again

Mary, I’m sorry you feel that way about that type of retreat I think it’s fine that you don’t find it particularly appealing to your tastes but saying is a cult is a little extreme don’t you think?

Are you saying that all the people that have done this retreat and have grown closer to God through it is the work of a cult? I find this very sad… As I’ve told you I’ve met more than one person who has told me Cursillo made a deep impact on them. They are not all still in the movement but they have nothing but good things to say about it and are very faithful Catholics.

I don’t really understand people that bash certain forms of spirituality over others as long as it’s not heretical and it’s making people grow closer to God and his church , I don’t see the problem. I just see it as trying to fit everyone into one mold and that mold is the only way to deepen your relationship with Christ.

I hope you really think about what you wrote and at least acknowledge that while it might not suit you it has value in our Church and has produced good fruit.

 

[maryjk]

Hi again

Mary, I’m sorry you feel that way about that type of retreat I think it’s fine that you don’t find it particularly appealing to your tastes but saying is a cult is a little extreme don’t you think?

:tsktsk::tsktsk: It is not a retreat. Right?

By definition a cult deals in mind control.
Studies have identified a number of key steps in coercive persuasion:[17][18]

People are put in physical or emotionally distressing situations; Lack of sleep, anyone?
Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized;  
They receive what seems to be unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader or group;  Also known as love bombing; receiving gifts
They get a new identity based on the group; Using Spanish terms in the US
They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled Do they or don't they cut you off from everyone?  Take your phone and watch and drive you to the weekend? I know you can't answer that question because you are sworn to secrecy..

Are you saying that all the people that have done this retreat and have grown closer to God through it is the work of a cult? I find this very sad… As I’ve told you I’ve met more than one person who has told me Cursillo made a deep impact on them. They are not all still in the movement but they have nothing but good things to say about it and are very faithful Catholics.

I am not the first person to question this group. I have met both kinds of people. Some had a great time and claim to have grown in their faith. There are others that felt they were held prisoner and couldn’t leave without creating a scene. Some that found out when they returned that their homes had been decorated as a welcome home, even though they themselves had an awful time.

I don’t really understand people that bash certain forms of spirituality over others as long as it’s not heretical and it’s making people grow closer to God and his church , I don’t see the problem. I just see it as trying to fit everyone into one mold and that mold is the only way to deepen your relationship with Christ.

Christianity shouldn’t be done in secret. It is really that simple.

I hope you really think about what you wrote and at least acknowledge that while it might not suit you it has value in our Church and has produced good fruit.

As long as you are willing to acknowledge that it has also produced rotten fruit.

Again, I am really just trying to find out, if someone goes on one of these weekends…

are your keys, cell phone and watch taken from you or are you asked to give these up?

are sessions scheduled in such a way that you are up early in the morning and you don’t go to bed until late?

are you subjected to “love bombing” and gifts?

 

[tafan]

Although many organizations and events have information rightly reserved for members or participants;, ones that recruit with no explanation except “it’s awesome”, so awesome we can’t tell you about it. That’s is a red flag IMO.

Counter examples ( neither of which I am a member of): Opus Dei gets accused of being secretive, but they will share a LOT of information about what it is all about. KoC, lots of secrets, but not secretive as to the nature of group at all.

 

[maryjk]

Although many organizations and events have information rightly reserved for members or participants;, ones that recruit with no explanation except “it’s awesome”, so awesome we can’t tell you about it. That’s is a red flag IMO.

That is my point. The only information I can get is negative. Now many people are telling me what a wonderful experience it is. But none of those people will tell you anything about it. So since no one will counter the negatives, I have no choice but to believe them.

Counter examples ( neither of which I am a member of): Opus Dei gets accused of being secretive, but they will share a LOT of information about what it is all about. KoC, lots of secrets, but not secretive as to the nature of group at all.

I had a friend invite me to join a Opus Dei retreat. I knew more about that retreat than I can find out about this weekend. Why???

 

[tafan]

I would hesitate to call it a cult. But I do have definite questions about it. We all have a life long call to holiness; ie conversion never ends. It seems to me the Cursillo movement tries to make this instantaneous. And they do this many through drawing out emotional responses. But this life long process of coming to holiness ( for most of us it won’t even be completed at death, hence if we are saved God keeps working on us via purgatory) cannot be jump started and sustained with a three day emotion filled weekend.

Also, there are many paths of spirituality in the Catholic Church, I won’t question cursillo being one of them. But I do question any of them which foster the attitude they have the answer for all.

Some detailed questions:

Are there really no windows, watches not allowed, and no published schedule ahead of time? Are drawing pictures around a table with markers one of the activities? To what end?
How much private, silent meditation time is included? What type of food is served? What are some of the major theological themes ?