CVs don't have to be Virgins?

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That’s the part that matters. In cases of rape than it is not consenting to the pleasure that one is forced to feel.
 
I did’t know that, but the point is that one needs to not consent in these cases.
 
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Both men and women are able to experience the physical arousal and accompanying sensations from nonconsensual acts. It is possible for a woman to feel the physical pleasure of the act even if she does not consent to it or want it. It is often a source of great shame to victims, who may feel that the physical responses vitiate their lack of consent, or that their own bodies betrayed them.
 
I can only go by the experience of others who’ve been there. Those I’ve spoken with have talked about how painful it was—but obviously I don’t know all rape victims, so I’ll take your word for it. And yes, that would add to the horror.
 
It is though. I’m referring to the whole hymen thing. So many women have been killed and abused in the past (and present) over this. An intact hymen is honestly such a dumb indicator of virginity, if I’m going to be honest here.
 
aroosi said:
Which one would you consider ‘virgin’?
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Neither. But I would consider the latter example pure, and the intact porn star, an impure fornicator.

I too don’t understand this consecrated virgin stuff. We are called to live a life of purity and chastity regardless of our status. For the married, chastity means licit sexual relations open to life. For the unmarried, you remain a virgin and pure until you are married. At least that is the theory. We all know how that worked out in reality :confused:

It would make more sense to me to consecrate one’s sexuality to God by being chaste for Him. I suppose in a way that’s what “consecrated virgins” intend to do, but it excludes all those who lived a life of perfect chastity in marriage, find themselves widowed, and would like to consecrate their lives to God and live in perfect continence for Him.

I think the Church needs to rethink this concept and rather than have consecrated virgins, have consecrated lives where one engages to live in perfect chastity to honour Him and be His bride.
 
OraLabora said:
It would make more sense to me to consecrate one’s sexuality to God by being chaste for Him. I suppose in a way that’s what “consecrated virgins” intend to do, but it excludes all those who lived a life of perfect chastity in marriage, find themselves widowed, and would like to consecrate their lives to God and live in perfect continence for Him
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In the same way that it would not be accurate to say that one consecrates one’s chastity to one’s wife while having another relationship, it would also be misleading to say that one consecrates his chastity to God while having a marital relationship with a person.
Devoting his chastity to God is as if we offered ourselves in marriage to God, we offer him our whole body and our whole heart. When one is married one already offers one’s body and part of one’s heart to one’s spouse, which automatically makes it impossible to consecrate oneself to God unless, in agreement with our spouse, we decide to sacrifice the joys of marriage for God. In the history of the saints, there were certain couple of saints who made this choice.
By a private vow, one can very well offer his chastity to God, even if one is no longer a virgin. Wanting to do it when you are married requires the consent of your spouse, otherwise you are required to pay the marriage debt to your spouse
 
I wasn’t suggesting married people do this. See the part where I said “widowed”. Sorry if I wasn’t clear. That’s why at the end I said consecrated lives; this should be for someone with no other attachments. A married person’s vocation is to the marriage, and (s)he honours God by respecting his or her vows and giving all to the family.

On the other hand I don’t understand why someone widowed (or not yet married and wanting to dedicate one’s life to god) wouldn’t simply enter into religious life. It need not be cloistered religious life, but at least one would have the support and encouragement of a community.

One quibble though it is perfectly possible to offer one’s life to God and be married. I am a married Benedictine oblate. Mind you it’s a revocable promise, not a vow. And there are LOTS of bumps in the road. We do, as part of our promise agree to live in chastity, but not in continence (if we are married).
 
One can very well make a private vow to God, and it has the same virtue as a public and solemn vow.
Thus a widower may very well offer his chastity to God rather than remarry.
 
One quibble though it is perfectly possible to offer one’s life to God and be married. I am a married Benedictine oblate. Mind you it’s a revocable promise, not a vow. And there are LOTS of bumps in the road. We do, as part of our promise agree to live in chastity, but not in continence (if we are married)
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By baptism and marriage one already implicitly promises God to live chaste, another promise in this sense has no added value! to say that one offers one’s life to God is as vague and abstract in my opinion when one does not see concretely what materializes this offering.
The martyr, for example, really offers his life to God, but the effective martyrdom does not depend on our will. By continence we offer to God our chastity and this offering is effective when we decide to deprive ourselves perpetually of the joys of marriage and this offering has value because marriage is a permitted good, and sacrificing a permit good for God it is make an offering that is more worthy of him
 
Mboo said:
to say that one offers one’s life to God is as vague and abstract in my opinion when one does not see concretely what materializes this offering.
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The word “oblation” means just that, and that is what we offer when we become Benedictine oblates. We don’t offer it to die, we offer it for Him to use as one of His instruments in the world. We don’t offer chastity, we promise chastity. Yes, it is an expectation for everyone, but it carries a particular meaning for an oblate who becomes so to reform a life enslaved to sin.

We materialize our offering through the three promises we make: stability, obedience, and inner conversion. It’s a life-long work in process just as it is for a monk.
 
Some people can not enter religious life because of physical disabilities, mental health issues, age, and communities unwilling to accept some individuals. Their only choice is consecrated virginity.
 
I met a consecrated virgin on a day retreat that I went to. She seemed to be a lovely person. It saddens me to think that even something so ancient like this now has some kind of “controversy” in our times.
 
One thing that annoys me with this thread is the almost complete disregard for God and His role in calling the Virgins to a bridal relationship with Him. If the appropriate persons discern that the lady is being called to consecration as a virgin, then who are we to clip the wings of the Holy Ghost?
 
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