Damaged Faith

[GGirl]

While my life is not exactly a duplicate of yours, there is certainly a strong similarity.

I think there are several issues to address here. Certainly, above all, you are damaged emotionally: Trust in humans, as well as, Jesus,to name one. I have seen, and strongly recommend a therapist or psychiatrist, who is either a conservative Catholic or at least, pro-Catholic. If your experience is anything like mine, much stuff is said and done in the name of Jesus that has nothing to do with Jesus.

Secondly, I see a priest Spiritual Advisor. He, without a doubt, guided me through the muddy waters of my soul and clearly, I am healed.

Finally, if there was religious abuse, there are legal avenues to pursue.

You are lucky. You at least trusted God at the onset. For me, the journey was, and continues to be, life affirming.

You are in my prayers.

 

[uglygal]

You say that you love God and accept Him. He has done wonderful things for you. But Jesus isGod, and therefore it was Jesus who has brought love into your life. When you deny Jesus you are denying God.

How can that be? I deny Jesus but God remains and His love is with me. Then how can Jesus be God? and how can my denying Him be denying God, when God remains with me. God’s presence is with me, I can feel it constantly and I have peace. Like I said earlier, it has enveloped me and I am healing and have healed to degrees I never thought possible in a lifetime, let alone half a year. The presence with me is not Jesus.

I have a question - Did Jesus or Mary visit you personally, in the flesh, and torment you? Because if they did then I will not say another word.

In the flesh? No. In visions and dreams? Yes.

Do not associate Him with the hard-hearted, false image that some people may give you.

disregard the saints too? St Therese is the first saint I came across who didn’t talk of God like some old grump

If you need a reminder of what He went through for you watch that wonderful movie which opened my eyes to His love - “The Passion of the Christ”.

Did Jesus die for me or would He die for me if I were the *only *person in existence?

We here cannot know specifically what have been through. So our advise and care can only be in a general way. I hope someone can steer you to the help you need and want.

I don’t need help. I did once but not know. I am fine now.

I’m just sticking to God the Father. I have forgiven the people who hurt me and I have forgiven Jesus. Still, I don’t want to have anything to do with them.

Are there any devotions to God the Father? Or any saints who specifically wrote about Him? I know of Mother Eugenia but have also been informed it is not recognized by the church

Please do not read any anger or hate in my response to you. Words can be a poor indicator of expression and feelings.

I know and I’m not angry or upset, I hope this is taken vice versa

 

[uglygal]

You at least trusted God at the onset.

:nope: I lost trust in Him until I attempted suicide and saw Him.

 

[Tonks40]

I understand that you have quite an attraction to St. Therese.

disregard the saints too? St Therese is the first saint I came across who didn’t talk of God like some old grump
…any saints who specifically wrote about Him?

You’ve stated on another thread that you read “Story of A Soul.” If that was the case, you would know that Therese decided that her name would be Sister Therese of the Child Jesus of the Holy Face. She had a great devotion to Jesus, so much so that she desired to be His Spouse by the expression of her vows. St. Therese also had a great devotion to His Mother Mary. It was Her that she saw near the end of her life, and who she trusted in protecting her and bringing her to her Son Jesus. Therese also understood that God the Father, and the Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are one. To reject the Son would be liken to rejecting the Father.

Forgiving Jesus as you say would be saying you are forgiving God for doing you wrong.

I know you know that God has never done you wrong.

Continue to trust in Our Lord…Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Remember these words from the Gospel of John:

John 1:1 - In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

and

John 1:14: And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, and we saw his glory, the glory as of the Father’s only Son, full of grace and truth.

God Bless You.

 

[Godlovestrength]

They are not dead, they are very much alive, happy and respected. Like most people who abuse others, they get away with it and the higher authority (Bishop) does not want to hear it. Out of sight, out of mind.

It crossed my mind that your name might be related to how you feel about yourself because if it is I’ve been there, thrown into the mud, rejected, refused had what I have done used so others could get the pat on the back.

Believe me I have been where you are at and It isn’t funny is it.
I am glad to hear that your faith is not diminished in Jesus Christ.
You know this is what I realised, it was that I feelt all the pain agony and hurt from the many who cut me to ribbins over many years. But in the end I realised that they were not going to hurt me any more. I thought that the hurt I endured was there because their words neglect and actions were embedded deeply into my long term memory, can you understand.

Well I thought about it and I realised that the opposit to what they had done was to forgive them all. And as hard as it was and over many years i forgave them and then nailed every single action I could remember to the cross of Jesus Christ, and told Jesus “Lord they are yours, You ask for them and now I have the gutts to give them to You”. You know what! He took them and I have never had the pain since. My sore back my words are more cheerful and blessing not hurt or sad. You know what I mean?

It can be done. I am beside you all the way lean on me when you need Jesus is there all the way through.
I know you are a beautiful person I can feel it in your writing and God loves you very much sister you are my sister and I will pray for you every time I think of Our Lord.

God bless.

 

[JesusLovesAll]

Did Jesus die for me or would He die for me if I were the only person in existence?

Yes, yes and yes again!!!

In visions and dreams? Yes.

Don’t forget that people can have false visions - it is how Satan tricks us into believing lies, to make us feel fear and despair, to turn us away from God. Just Google the words “visions of Jesus/visions of Mary/seers and prophets” and see how many sites come up. Some, I believe, are genuine. Others are downright crazy.

*Do not associate Him with the hard-hearted, false image that some people may give you. *

disregard the saints too?

I believe it depends on your state of mind. You are determined to see Jesus and Mary as beings who tormented you and ruined your life. Your understanding of what the saints say, other than Therese of Lisieux, has been flawed by this perspective. When Therese talks about God she is talking about Jesus. Her desire to dedicate herself to Him, her joy in receiving Holy Communion, everything about her life stems from this utter adoration of Christ. Her calling Him “God” does nothing to deny this fact.

I am happy for you that you have found peace in God, but when you continually say you deny Jesus it pierces me to my very soul and I don’t even know you! I know that God works His wonders in His own way and I have nothing at all to do with it. You are in control of your own life and will believe what you believe regardless of what others say. As the saying goes (I probably haven’t worded it exactly right either), you can’t force religion or faith onto others, you can only lead by example.

As for devotions to God, check out the following sites, although you may not like some of them because they include Jesus as well. (They are Catholic prayers and we find it difficult to ignore the three Persons/one God of the Holy Trinity.)

catholic.org/clife/prayers/prayer.php?p=852

catholic.org/clife/prayers/prayer.php?p=554

catholicdoors.com/prayers/english/p00430.htm

catholicdoors.com/prayers/prayers-g.htm

Hope these help. If not then Google “prayers” and more sites will come up for you to peruse.

As for saints devoted to God - they all were! I don’t know of any who wrote specifically about God without including Jesus in that picture, but then I am not widely read on the saints issue. Here is a site that has a list of all the saints plus some works by selected saints:

jesus-passion.com/Saints.htm

The other sites mentioned previously also have information on them regarding saints.

Good luck and God Bless.

 

[JesusLovesAll]

Just an addition to my last post - I have a copy of the poems of St Therese, also a document containing quite a few prayers to God . All free of course. Let me know via private post if you are interested in them.

 

[JRKH]

How can that be? I deny Jesus but God remains and His love is with me. Then how can Jesus be God? and how can my denying Him be denying God, when God remains with me. God’s presence is with me, I can feel it constantly and I have peace. Like I said earlier, it has enveloped me and I am healing and have healed to degrees I never thought possible in a lifetime, let alone half a year. The presence with me is not Jesus.

**I don’t need help. I did once but not know. I am fine now. **

I’m just sticking to God the Father. I have forgiven the people who hurt me and I have forgiven Jesus. Still, I don’t want to have anything to do with them.

Are there any devotions to God the Father? Or any saints who specifically wrote about Him? I know of Mother Eugenia but have also been informed it is not recognized by the church

Beautiful Spirit,
I highlighted a couple of things above to address.
Fisrt is that I am a bit confused that you say you are healing and that you don’t need help, yet in a previous post you specifically asked for websites or organizations that deal with cases like yours. Did I misunderstand something?
(“Still is there some website, or community or church ministry that deals with cases like this? They might have advice or at least other people who have experienced similar circumstances.”)

Second is to stick to your guns and to the Father despite what others here are saying. I don’t say or imply any disrespect to the others who are cautioning you against rejecting Jesus but I also don’t believe they are of particular help to you right now.

You have been through some terrible things but feel protected by God and are seeking to be closer to God. This can be equated to a child who has been hurt by a bully or bullies. The child flees to the one person they know will protect them. The big strong protector - Their Father.

As regards to the specifics of your feelings - how you got to where you are and what specific steps need to be taken I believe firmly that you will find the right way because you have a strong and loving spirit.
We here offer advise out of love and concern and you have not scorned us. You have challanged us - but in Love. You stated that you saw God in a vision after you tried to commit suicide. Since your attempt did not succeed, I believe God has ordained some purpose (name removed by moderator)ortant for you. I hope you will keep us apprised of your progress on your journey.

May God Bless you on your Journey

James

 

[Godlovestrength]

Just an addition to my last post - I have a copy of the poems of St Therese, also a document containing quite a few prayers to God . All free of course. Let me know via private post if you are interested in them.

Sorry about this but would there be room for me to have a copy as well?
Regardless thanks any way
Godbless

 

[Godlovestrength]

How can that be? I deny Jesus but God remains and His love is with me. Then how can Jesus be God? and how can my denying Him be denying God, when God remains with me. God’s presence is with me, I can feel it constantly and I have peace. Like I said earlier, it has enveloped me and I am healing and have healed to degrees I never thought possible in a lifetime, let alone half a year. The presence with me is not Jesus.

It worls like this. God is LOVE love is not in the human way of thinking, and people don’t think in the spiritual enough. You say how can that be, well it is because you are thinking carnel and that is OK! God knows you love Him and that is good. many people don’t get to have a relationship with Jesus at all and many people don’t get to have a relationship with the Holy Spirit but still they love God. You see God comes to every person at their height

You ask how can this be that you feel God’s love well you would have to look in the dictionary at the word “mercy” and see just how God,s Love for His children all evolves around Mercy.

At the present time God seems to be relating to you in “mercy” and as you develop God will wish you to come into “grace” more but at present God relates to you (and us all) at your height. At present God seems to be accepting your situation in mercy and blessings allowing you to heal and feel His Love the way you can accept it. God is Love love gomes to His children at their height.

God bless

 

[uglygal]

Fisrt is that I am a bit confused that you say you are healing and that you don’t need help, yet in a previous post you specifically asked for websites or organizations that deal with cases like yours. Did I misunderstand something?

No you didn’t . I in myself - my life, my learning, study, work, finances - I am fine. I am also fine in my soul/spirit. I asked for organizations, ministries etc regarding victims/survivors of abuse in the church. I didn’t ask for them because I need them myself (other than in saving or resurrecting my christianity), but if there is somewhere I can meet with people who have gone through what I have. I haven’t heard or found any yet. Perhaps testament to how little the church wishes to deal with such realities, or how little effort is directed at victims of “church” abuse?. (hint, hint) Something to think about

This can be equated to a child who has been hurt by a bully or bullies. The child flees to the one person they know will protect them. The big strong protector - Their Father.

Yes and The Father is greater than the son

I believe firmly that you will find the right way because you have a strong and loving spirit.

it’s a rare thing for me to get a compliment, still its misdirected. All strength and love in me is the work of God my Father, but I’ll pass the compliment onto Him

You stated that you saw God in a vision after you tried to commit suicide. Since your attempt did not succeed, I believe God has ordained some purpose important for you.

:yup: Yes, to tell people that He is Love and to love Him in all things.

 

[TLR]

The Catholic Church described is not the church I was born into and have spent all fifty years of my life. Nor is it a church which could have survived for two thousand years if such was it’s theology. I say this not to accuse you of being untruthful but to ask you to stop and think about what Church it is that you hold such anger. Every story such as yours in which it appears that Jesus has abandoned us can be counter with a hundred others that so vividly illustrate Christ’s emence love for each and everyone of us.

God the Father gave us the gift of free will and because of this gift it is impossible in this world (and probably won’t matter in the next) to fully comprehend why He chooses to intervene in one seamanly insignificant matter and not in an other obvious wrong doing.

Because of free will God-Jesus-The Holy Spirit understands that we can be angry at them. Yet They never will turn away from us. They are always where They were when we turned away from Them.

I believe you need to look into the true Church and see that another church masquerading as the Catholic Church did you a terrible injustice. And you will find that the love of Christ can melt the biggest iceberg.

 

[Rebelecka]

:console: Dear Child! I am so sorry that these horrible things happened to you! May the Lord bless you, watch over you, lead you and keep you in the palm of His Hand.:hug3:

BTW, all are beautiful to God…He made you and He doesn’t make junk

 

[blessedstar]

You are a decent person and Jesus loves you. That is a fact.

I experienced what you have experienced. It is very damaging to faith, but that is not on your shoulders, that is anothers fault and not your ‘mea culpa’.

If someone takes an innocent child and leads them to believe that the Tender Jesus is something other than this as He is and as He is God, then they have done a great wrong to God and to souls.

I was not convinced that the Jesus I always knew as some told me was this same Jesus of the Gospels Who is so kind and merciful until I met a Priest who was this way to me and I saw Jesus clearly in him and then I came back to my faith. My father was dying and this Priest came to give him the Last Rites. This Priest was Jesus to me and I thank God everyday for this Priest because Jesus was dead to me in people because I did not see Him in anyone, no-one had been Jesus to me, no kindness, no gentle word, no love. No I had just austere harshness from Christians. But this Priest was and still is Jesus to me. I’ve told that on these forums before.

If a soul never sees Jesus’ kindness in another soul directed towards them and an acceptance of who they are and where they are in life then that person will not come to know Jesus by the ordinary means. Many are the times that people are led away from the Church because of the lack of accepting people, Christians have a great lesson to learn in accepting people as Jesus did.

What you experienced does not speak of Jesus, so there is no wonder you do not trust Him because you have been show an image of Jesus that does not exist. What you have been taught of Jesus is not the Jesus that turned to the Good Thief on the Cross and said ‘Today you will be with Me in Paradise’

You are a decent person seeking God. That is more than enough for me

So you seek Jesus as it is He who is seeking you and seeking you with the love of the Father as they are One and the same though three Persons in One God.

In the Living Prayer of my life

 

[kentuckyliz]

Regarding Jesus and Mary appearing to you in visions and torturing you…the Bible says even Satan can appear as an angel of light. That’s what I suspect happened here, because what you say they did doesn’t mesh with what we know about them. I have a hard time thinking that the real Jesus and Mary would single out one of their followers for torture…totally different than how they deal with everyone. – That’s just a thought you can consider as a possibility.

When I have been the victim of a violent crime on a couple of occasions, I wonder why Jesus or Mary or an angel didn’t swoop in to protect me. Especially the guardian angel. I thought they were supposed to protect me. Ah well. There’s something I’m not getting there.

How do you feel about the Holy Spirit?

If you reject Jesus but love the Father…if you reject the Holy Spirit too, you can become a Jew. But Jews don’t believe in the Holy Spirit like we do, so if you believe in the Holy Spirit but not Jesus, I’m not sure what you can do with that.

I read the Gospels and Jesus is utterly adorable and lovable to me…everyone else seems utterly crazy by comparison. Including me. !!! But I don’t think I’d love God the Father if I didn’t know and love Jesus. God the Father is utterly incomprehensible and unlovable to me, without Jesus…and God had the Canaanites killed so I’m not down with murdering God.

In the Bible it says that Jesus and the Father are one; that no one goes to the Father but through Jesus; and if you have seen Jesus, you have seen the Father. So if you love God the Father and not Jesus, I’m not sure what you do with that. It seems to go against God’s will…the way God went to all that bother to set it up that way.

So, you have totally stumped me! But I think you are honest in your search. St. Therese is way cool.

You might also try Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity and St. Edith Stein.

St. Joseph might be a good saint for your devotion. He was Jesus’ foster father on earth, so if Jesus has been naughty, St. Joseph can spank him for you and make things right.

 

[blessedstar]

It’s not going to be much help to say this, but the Cross takes many forms and is not restricted to being a physcial illness as physical illnes is a cross but the cross comes in many ways and we have all been a cross to each other and so those who caused this duality of mind in you regarding God caused a cross.

Enduring is the key.

God is Father, Son and Spirit and you have been given a disordered view of God, so you need to see the Son and the Spirit in the same light as the Father as they are One and the same though three Persons.

I don’t know what these visions are you talk about, but if it does you no spiritual good then you should dismiss it as not from God because God would never come and do these things to a soul.

These are deep rooted things within you and so because none of us know you and none of us are a Priest then you must go and talk to your Priest even if you don’t feel like it; he will be able to help you, but you must listen to your Priest.

In the Living Prayer of my life

 

[snowfly]

I don’t know, what do you people think? Anyone been through a similar experience? or similar feelings? I’d appreciate any opinions / advice.

Thankyou in advance

Sort of, not all, but I think your suffering from a dose of scrupulosity, a hard thing to shake, and from experience not a healthy view of what God is all about.

For example…“Did I say 9 Haily Marys or 10”

OMG I will goto hell…

If your like that then it’s a ridiculous way to live your faith .

I read the " Little Flowers Books 35 years ago, and always remember one thing she said “to never fall, what an illusion” or words to that effect.

So stop worrying, we can never find perfection in this life, only in the next, none of us are Devine, unlike Jesus.

 

[Coming_Home_1]

Jesus said that he is the way to the father. You cannot truly love the father, yet reject Jesus. I’m sorry for the wrongs that you have been through, but it has really offended me how you have been bashing Jesus for the past couple of days. Jesus is God. He is also merciful, loving and compassionate. He did not cause the things that you went through, and someone sinned tremendously when they made you think that he did! HE LOVES YOU!!! He does not need your forgiveness for anything, he has never wronged you! He deserves your worship and adoration!!!

 

[Hellisreal]

What part of the bible do you feel damaged by?

Blaming Jesus and the Church, and Mary- Well- thats your call.

But- you really must be using a different bible than anyone else. How do you get around Jesus like this? And blame him for things?

Do you use a bible in your new faith?

 

[uglygal]

What part of the bible do you feel damaged by?

Blaming Jesus and the Church, and Mary- Well- thats your call.

But- you really must be using a different bible than anyone else. How do you get around Jesus like this? And blame him for things?

Do you use a bible in your new faith?

Bible? I have been talking about the Church and catholic faith