Damned If You Do...

[KostyaJMJ]

If you commit a mortal sin and then resolve to go to confession is there any particular reason to behave yourself until you receive the sacrament? Aren’t you going to be toast no matter what you do, so what is the reason for behaving? It seems as long as you’re damned, you might as well do every bad thing you can think of. I don’t see any particular reason to go to hell halfway.
I was reading a book for written for confessors and it said this is a very common temptation for a lot of people concerning grave sin and confession. What do you do to resist this sort of thinking?

 

[Pug]

After committing a mortal sin here are two of my options:

A) repent, have perfect contrition, and resolve to confess at the next opportunity and keep my nose clean until then
-or-
B) decide to go to confession soon, but keep on sinning mortally until I get there

These options will not have the same outcome if I happen to die before reaching the confessional. Most Christians wish to be with God when they die, so picking option A is the clear choice on those grounds alone. I can see myself dying between now and next Saturday. One minute you are alive, the next, zap!

An even more likely motivation is the same as a husband and wife. Since they love each other, they do not desire to hurt or offend or be separated from the other, so if they do fail as humans do and offend the their spouse, they don’t keep on offending them in new ways for the next few weeks, staying separated in spirit from their spouse the whole time. Instead they quickly say they are sorry and try to patch things up, saying, “My heart is yours!”

 

[NPC]

If you commit a mortal sin and then resolve to go to confession is there any particular reason to behave yourself until you receive the sacrament? Aren’t you going to be toast no matter what you do, so what is the reason for behaving? It seems as long as you’re damned, you might as well do every bad thing you can think of. I don’t see any particular reason to go to hell halfway.
I was reading a book for written for confessors and it said this is a very common temptation for a lot of people concerning grave sin and confession. What do you do to resist this sort of thinking?

There certainly is a particular reason to behave yourself until you receive the sacrament, and it’s very simple: Love of God.

You have separated yourself from God through sin - your doing. You decide that you are sorry and want to be forgiven by God - ideally your sorrow should be borne out of love for God rather than fear of hell - and you decide to go to Confession. So, if you think that you may as well just continue sinning until Confession, what are you saying? You are saying, on the one hand, I have offended against the love of God, I’m sorry & I want the Lord to forgive me…on the other hand, what does your resolve to repair your initial rejection of the love of God mean if you are going to continue to reject the Lord by sinning? Your desire to have your sins forgiven is supposed to be accompanied by a heartfelt desire to avoid all sin in the future - you should work up this desire as much in advance of Confession as you can, not just the moment you enter the confessional. Deliberately sinning, in fact, only leads to more sin - the sin of the presumption of God’s mercy. Do NOT put the Lord your God to the test.

 

[thistle]

If you commit a mortal sin and then resolve to go to confession is there any particular reason to behave yourself until you receive the sacrament? Aren’t you going to be toast no matter what you do, so what is the reason for behaving? It seems as long as you’re damned, you might as well do every bad thing you can think of. I don’t see any particular reason to go to hell halfway.
I was reading a book for written for confessors and it said this is a very common temptation for a lot of people concerning grave sin and confession. What do you do to resist this sort of thinking?

That’s the sin of presumption. In such a scenario I don’t see how a person with that attitude could give a sincere Confession. There would be a high chance if this was said to the priest in Confession he would not give absolution.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

That’s the sin of presumption. In such a scenario I don’t see how a person with that attitude could give a sincere Confession. There would be a high chance if this was said to the priest in Confession he would not give absolution.

It seems more like the sin of despair to me.

In either case though you have an infinite gulf between you and God that can only be bridged by sacramental reconciliation. Can you really add anything to an infinite gulf? Can you really take anything away? It seems the only hope you have is that you really don’t know whether you have committed mortal sin or not, but that is very little consolation indeed.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

After committing a mortal sin here are two of my options:

A) repent, have perfect contrition, and resolve to confess at the next opportunity and keep my nose clean until then
-or-
B) decide to go to confession soon, but keep on sinning mortally until I get there

These options will not have the same outcome if I happen to die before reaching the confessional. Most Christians wish to be with God when they die, so picking option A is the clear choice on those grounds alone. I can see myself dying between now and next Saturday. One minute you are alive, the next, zap!

An even more likely motivation is the same as a husband and wife. Since they love each other, they do not desire to hurt or offend or be separated from the other, so if they do fail as humans do and offend the their spouse, they don’t keep on offending them in new ways for the next few weeks, staying separated in spirit from their spouse the whole time. Instead they quickly say they are sorry and try to patch things up, saying, “My heart is yours!”

Is there any difference between choice A and B? I thought you were only safe once you received the sacrament of reconciliation.

Love is a good motivation and if you imagine each sin as hurting Jesus I can see that working. I don’t know though; you are still destined for hell either way you go. I hate to ask, but what is in it for me?

 

[Mrs_Sally]

After committing a mortal sin here are two of my options:

A) repent, have perfect contrition, and resolve to confess at the next opportunity and keep my nose clean until then
-or-
B) decide to go to confession soon, but keep on sinning mortally until I get there

These options will not have the same outcome if I happen to die before reaching the confessional. Most Christians wish to be with God when they die, so picking option A is the clear choice on those grounds alone. I can see myself dying between now and next Saturday. One minute you are alive, the next, zap!

An even more likely motivation is the same as a husband and wife. Since they love each other, they do not desire to hurt or offend or be separated from the other, so if they do fail as humans do and offend the their spouse, they don’t keep on offending them in new ways for the next few weeks, staying separated in spirit from their spouse the whole time. Instead they quickly say they are sorry and try to patch things up, saying, “My heart is yours!”

Of course, there is always choice C–calling for that dreaded “reconcilliation by appointment” or even marching right up to the rectory. That would be my choice.

 

[NPC]

It seems more like the sin of despair to me.

In either case though you have an infinite gulf between you and God that can only be bridged by sacramental reconciliation. Can you really add anything to an infinite gulf? Can you really take anything away? It seems the only hope you have is that you really don’t know whether you have committed mortal sin or not, but that is very little consolation indeed.

It is not true to say that nothing can add to the gulf caused by the initial sin. The difference between the initial sin and subsequent sins is that in the case of the first sin you made a conscious decision to seek forgiveness and to be reconciled with God. That is the moment when your reconciliation started. What if you did have the opportunity to confess the initial sin immediately - you were sorry for the sin and decided to confess straightaway, but you die on the way to confession? Do you think God would ignore the fact that you had a contrite heart, or that you desired to turn away from your sinful ways? God is good and merciful, but He is also just and exacting. He would know what your desire was - to repent, love Him and follow Him. How would you plead your case for the subsequent sins which you deliberately committed?

 

[JRKH]

If you commit a mortal sin and then resolve to go to confession is there any particular reason to behave yourself until you receive the sacrament? Aren’t you going to be toast no matter what you do, so what is the reason for behaving? It seems as long as you’re damned, you might as well do every bad thing you can think of. I don’t see any particular reason to go to hell halfway.
I was reading a book for written for confessors and it said this is a very common temptation for a lot of people concerning grave sin and confession. What do you do to resist this sort of thinking?

I will give you a very short answer.
The reason not to continue sinning is the same as it was in not sinning in the first place - Because it offends God.

Your thought process here is very selfish AND very “Law” based instead of “Love” based.

You think that, since you already committed one deadly sin that, by Law, you are dead until you physically walk into the confessional and are absolved. This is not so.
God is less interested in the actual physical act of confessing (which is more for our benefit) than He is in your “Perfect Contrition” for having offended him in the first place.

Instead of heaping injury upon injury against Our Dear Lord, we should immediately begin to make amends. To fall on our knees in contrition. To beg most humbly to be allowed to make amends for so great a sin against our Loving Father.

Christ’s Cross is heavy enough - Why should you wish to increase it’s weight by additional sins, why would you not hasten to ease the weight by immediate contrition and penence that will help to carry His cross.

Peace
James

 

[JRKH]

Is there any difference between choice A and B? I thought you were only safe once you received the sacrament of reconciliation.

Love is a good motivation and if you imagine each sin as hurting Jesus I can see that working. I don’t know though; you are still destined for hell either way you go. I hate to ask, but what is in it for me?

This is not true.
Once you have made a sincere act of contrition and committed to getting to confession ASAP, you should be safe should you die before confessing. This is relying (as you should) upon the Love of God instead of the “letter of the law”.

If you choose to continue sinning, it is obvious that you have not made a sincere act of contrition which includes the phrase, "I firmly resolve to sin no more…"
In choice B no such resolution has taken place and you are choosing to remain outside of God’s Love.

Peace
James

 

[SunnaB16]

This is not true.
Once you have made a sincere act of contrition and committed to getting to confession ASAP, you should be safe should you die before confessing. This is relying (as you should) upon the Love of God instead of the “letter of the law”.

Peace
James

Its like Baptism of Desire. In this case, its “Confession of Desire”.

 

[thistle]

Its like Baptism of Desire. In this case, its “Confession of Desire”.

However, it must be an act of perfect contrition. How many could be sure they made such an act. I wouldn’t bet my soul on it.
Better to get to Confession as quickly as possible.

 

[Pug]

Of course, there is always choice C–calling for that dreaded “reconcilliation by appointment” or even marching right up to the rectory. That would be my choice.

Ah, but the clever Catholic can avoid this option if they have the confession schedules memorized within a two hour driving radius. Don’t forget, a parish is not your only option. Retreat centers, Catholic hospitals, Marian sites, the cathedral, monasteries, etc. are all possibles. But if you live in Alaska, accessible only by plane, etc., the options diminish…

On a serious note, I completely agree with you about the urge to go right away.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

However, it must be an act of perfect contrition. How many could be sure they made such an act. I wouldn’t bet my soul on it.
Better to get to Confession as quickly as possible.

That is kind of my point: damned if you do, damned if you don’t. unless of course you can make an act of perfect contrition which is close to impossible to do.

 

[yellowbird]

That is kind of my point: damned if you do, damned if you don’t. unless of course you can make an act of perfect contrition which is close to impossible to do.

With God all things are possible. I’d ask for His help with my perfect act of contrition and rest in the knowledge that he knows my heart. If I am truly terribly sorry - He’ll know it.

This of course wouldn’t take the place of a proper confession - but it would ease my mind until that’s possible.

All of that is null and void if it’s my intention to continue sinning though. How sorry could I actually be if that’s my attitude? Besides, I don’t try to remain in a state of grace to avoid hell… I try because I love Him.

 

[prolifewife]

If you commit a mortal sin and then resolve to go to confession is there any particular reason to behave yourself until you receive the sacrament? Aren’t you going to be toast no matter what you do, so what is the reason for behaving? It seems as long as you’re damned, you might as well do every bad thing you can think of. I don’t see any particular reason to go to hell halfway.
I was reading a book for written for confessors and it said this is a very common temptation for a lot of people concerning grave sin and confession. What do you do to resist this sort of thinking?

Would you rather meet God in the state of mortal sin with an unrepentant heart or in the state of mortal sin with a repentant heart?

Personally I’d pick the second option. There’s always the hope for mercy, maybe all three conditions weren’t met, maybe your contrition is good enough, etc.

 

[JRKH]

That is kind of my point: damned if you do, damned if you don’t. unless of course you can make an act of perfect contrition which is close to impossible to do.

WHY??

Is it becuuse you are truly not sorry??
Is it because you are already thinking about another sin??

This is why I talked about the need for Love.
If you Love God you will be wholly contrite about offending Him.
Say your act of contrition and reslove earnestly to sin no more.
Then Trust Him to keep you safe until you can get to confession.

Peace
James

 

[Pug]

Is there any difference between choice A and B? I thought you were only safe once you received the sacrament of reconciliation.

Love is a good motivation and if you imagine each sin as hurting Jesus I can see that working. I don’t know though; you are still destined for hell either way you go. I hate to ask, but what is in it for me?

If you (I mean “one”, not actually you ) are not contrite, you are not safe even if you do go to confession. The more you deliberately keep piling on additional mortal sins, the less likely you are to suddenly cough up contrition at 4:00 pm on Saturday because we are creatures of habit, and if you spend all your time habitually not being contrite, then you are running a real risk of continuing with that. Now, I don’t really want to bring up a line of reasoning that relies upon “less likely”, because one can always repent. Death is the only obstacle. And it really ought to be about love and not the “odds”. But you are offering that very type of concern about likelihood by saying that you feel it is unlikely/near impossible that you will have perfect contrition, and I have felt the motivation behind that type of feeling. :hug1:You are right, you cannot manufacture perfect contrition out of nowhere. But if God gives you that grace of perfect contrition and you fail to cooperate with it, can you see how that is unwise? If you always say to yourself “what does it matter”, then you are never going to cooperate with that grace even if you do get it. And God is generous, not stingy. You could be getting access to that grace every time and just ignoring it.

There are a few things I could say (edit, edit, post growing longer…) and I’m having difficulty picking the one most likely to be of use to you. What’s in it for you? Hmmm. God did not throw darts at a list of harmless behaviors and call the ones the dart hit “sins”. The things called “sins” actually harm us and others right now, spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc., even if we are too blind to notice. Can you trust God on this point? Why hurt yourself further?

Also, our hearts will only truly be satisfied with God. Whatever sin a man is interposing between himself and God is not his true happiness. Why spend another week walking in illusion, in a path of tears and sorrow, when he/she can turn on a dime and walk in the light, basking in the warmth of communion/relationship with the Blessed Trinity for that time period instead? (it takes grace to turn on a dime, but God is not stingy, his goal isn’t to keep you dangling outside of his love for the longest time possible. He is a LOVING Father who wants you to be with him.)

 

[baltobetsy]

It’s important to remember, however, that perfect contrition is not required in order to be forgiven in Confession. All that is needed is imperfect contrition, which means any motive that relates in any way to God. That includes the fear of hell. God is looking for ways to save us, not to condemn.

Betsy

 

[Pug]

It’s important to remember, however, that perfect contrition is not required in order to be forgiven in Confession. All that is needed is imperfect contrition, which means any motive that relates in any way to God. That includes the fear of hell. God is looking for ways to save us, not to condemn.

Betsy

Betsy’s point is good to keep in mind when reading my post. I meant that regular contrition (imperfect contrition) is something you might want to practice doing often. Either level of contrition does require some reference to not sinning again. The hypothetical course of action you described suggested to me a deliberate choice to not practice even imperfect contrition up until entering the confessional.

You are not required to know for positive that you will never sin again, by the way. For some people with certain sins, they tend to get down because they think they are doomed to keep sinning forever.