Dating a non-virgin: Yes or no.

Status
Not open for further replies.
I’m still surprised that only one person has answered an outright “No”. It’s a pity they weren’t willing to share their rationale on the thread. I honestly thought there would be more No people jumping in to this one.
 
AdamPeter said:
I’m still surprised that only one person has answered an outright “No”. It’s a pity they weren’t willing to share their rationale on the thread. I honestly thought there would be more No people jumping in to this one.
Click to expand...
Without grace, virginity is just a number. I think most people are looking at the grace in a person’s soul, rather than the number.
 
AdamPeter said:
I’m still surprised that only one person has answered an outright “No”. It’s a pity they weren’t willing to share their rationale on the thread. I honestly thought there would be more No people jumping in to this one.
Click to expand...
For whatever reason, the usual virgin-hunting CAF crew hasn’t showed up for your thread.
 
Married 30 years this September… but back when I was single, I was not specifically looking for a virgin. I mean, on which date do you ask to inspect her hymen? LOL
 
Matt 7:2

“For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: *and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again.”

I would not be able to date myself if I said “No”…that didn’t come out right, but you know what I mean 😊

We are all damaged by something, and we have all made mistakes, but I hope I would be merciful enough to still say ‘Yes’ if I didn’t have the same history.
 
Stephen_says said:
Matt 7:2

*"For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again."

I would not be able to date myself if I said “No”…that didn’t come out right, but you know what I mean 😊

We are all damaged by something, and we have all made mistakes, but I hope I would be merciful enough to still say ‘Yes’ if I didn’t have the same history.
Click to expand...
True. But at the same time, nobody is obliged to consider anyone to date. I’m just trying to see what most people think. It’s a pity the people who voted no/maybe didn’t post to explain. That’s really what I was interested in hearing about.
 
Xantippe said:
For whatever reason, the usual virgin-hunting CAF crew hasn’t showed up for your thread.
Click to expand...
Well a few more should be along shortly seeing as how you’ve baited them so masterfully.

My own preference was to share that special moment together with my wife. No biggie. And seeing as how I was never short of opportunities to date I didn’t see any reason not to give a preference to women who were waiting the same as I was. And no, knowing about a past didn’t require any digging. Most women are pretty open about their past, and I know it isn’t possible to date Broseph McProte(name removed by moderator)owder for more than a month without putting out. For the most part I just had to stay away from any of Broseph’s ex’s and leave it at that.
 
Burt_Macklin said:
Well a few more should be along shortly seeing as how you’ve baited them so masterfully.

My own preference was to share that special moment together with my wife. No biggie. And seeing as how I was never short of opportunities to date I didn’t see any reason not to give a preference to women who were waiting the same as I was. And no, knowing about a past didn’t require any digging. Most women are pretty open about their past, and I know it isn’t possible to date Broseph McProte(name removed by moderator)owder for more than a month without putting out. For the most part I just had to stay away from any of Broseph’s ex’s and leave it at that.
Click to expand...
Yes but did you just totally rule out anyone who wasn’t a virgin with no exceptions?
 
Burt_Macklin said:
Well a few more should be along shortly seeing as how you’ve baited them so masterfully.

My own preference was to share that special moment together with my wife. No biggie. And seeing as how I was never short of opportunities to date I didn’t see any reason not to give a preference to women who were waiting the same as I was. And no, knowing about a past didn’t require any digging. Most women are pretty open about their past, and I know it isn’t possible to date Broseph McProte(name removed by moderator)owder for more than a month without putting out. For the most part I just had to stay away from any of Broseph’s ex’s and leave it at that.
Click to expand...
:confused::confused::confused:

How do you know these things? How do you meet a girl and track down her exes?

Also, I’m totally stealing ‘Broseph McProte(name removed by moderator)owder’ because it’s funny and brings my BIL to mind. Although, he’s an extremely devout Catholic and refuses to even give the impression of sleeping with his girlfriend. There are also guys like Russell Wilson and Tim Tebow out there. I’m not sure you can judge someone’s morality based on how attractive they are.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
:confused::confused::confused:

How do you know these things? How do you meet a girl and track down her exes?

Also, I’m totally stealing ‘Broseph McProte(name removed by moderator)owder’ because it’s funny and brings my BIL to mind. Although, he’s an extremely devout Catholic and refuses to even give the impression of sleeping with his girlfriend. There are also guys like Russell Wilson and Tim Tebow out there. I’m not sure you can judge someone’s morality based on how attractive they are.
Click to expand...
Yeah. The fact is, if someone is going to completely rule out a person once you realise they’re not a virgin then I think that makes them pretty shallow. I’m not saying for a second that you shouldn’t have a general preference or that it’s better to have slept around. Absolutely not.
But if you date someone and discover on the third date that they’re not a virgin and then proceed to dump them for that reason alone, then it’s shallow.

What does it actually tell you about the person?
Nothing…except that they sinned in the past.
It doesn’t tell you how they live now, it doesn’t tell you if they share hopes and dreams with you, it doesn’t tell you if they’d be a good wife/mother/husband/father.
 
When I was younger I would have said no. I mean growing up it was stressed a lot. And I mean a lot.

But now I’m really in a different spot. I no longer have these random things stamped on my brain. I’ve got other things stamped there instead. :rolleyes:

Peace.

-Trident
 
AdamPeter said:
Yeah. The fact is, if someone is going to completely rule out a person once you realise they’re not a virgin then I think that makes them pretty shallow. I’m not saying for a second that you shouldn’t have a general preference or that it’s better to have slept around. Absolutely not.
But if you date someone and discover on the third date that they’re not a virgin and then proceed to dump them for that reason alone, then it’s shallow.
Click to expand...
I don’t think it’s as shallow as all that. Maybe just one of the things a guy weighs in the scheme. Maybe just depends on why it’s important.

I mean I’d rule out someone right now who likes to have wine with their fish on Fridays. And maybe someone would look at me sideways for that. But it’s a real thing. And there’s a real reason.

Just like someone else would probably not date a guy who was burning up his income smoking.
AdamPeter said:
What does it actually tell you about the person?
Nothing…except that they sinned in the past.
It doesn’t tell you how they live now, it doesn’t tell you if they share hopes and dreams with you, it doesn’t tell you if they’d be a good wife/mother/husband/father.
Click to expand...
Maybe it tells you they’ve got a lower self-control threshold? (Don’t know if that helps though. Because don’t we all?) Maybe it says they’ve got a better chance of having an STD than you do? Maybe their experience is a bit of a put off for a guy with pure glasses on? A guy who says to himself, ‘Well I’ve waited, so why didn’t you?’ Maybe they remind a guy of the kind of girl he’s been told to avoid since he was 12? I don’t know. The thing is there are a lot of ways to judge someone in the lead up to things. Some girls judge a guy by his hair style. Some guys judge a girl by how many motor bikes she’s been on. It’s just another guess measure. That’s about it.

Peace.

-Trident
 
Trident_H said:
I don’t think it’s as shallow as all that. Maybe just one of the things a guy weighs in the scheme. Maybe just depends on why it’s important.

I mean I’d rule out someone right now who likes to have wine with their fish on Fridays. And maybe someone would look at me sideways for that. But it’s a real thing. And there’s a real reason.

Just like someone else would probably not date a guy who was burning up his income smoking.

Maybe it tells you they’ve got a lower self-control threshold? (Don’t know if that helps though. Because don’t we all?) Maybe it says they’ve got a better chance of having an STD than you do? Maybe their experience is a bit of a put off for a guy with pure glasses on? A guy who says to himself, ‘Well I’ve waited, so why didn’t you?’ Maybe they remind a guy of the kind of girl he’s been told to avoid since he was 12? I don’t know. The thing is there are a lot of ways to judge someone in the lead up to things. Some girls judge a guy by his hair style. Some guys judge a girl by how many motor bikes she’s been on. It’s just another guess measure. That’s about it.

Peace.

-Trident
Click to expand...
It doesn’t really tell you anything about self control as self control is a virtue that is built and strengthened with time and practice. So it may tell you that they had less self control at some point in the past but nothing really about the present. As for STD’s, well, that’s the kind of thing that you need to reveal if the relationship gets serious. But I guess I’m talking here about the complete unwillingness to date a person who isn’t a virgin once you learn that fact, even if you know that they are living a chaste life now. (Even if you’ve had a few dates and like them/are attracted to them). I would argue that that is shallow.
 
Honestly, I don’t think it should even be a factor. As long as they are presently committed to chastity (and you’ll know if they are) there’s no point in bringing it up unless they do. However, I think it’s definitely a plus for a couple to get tested before they marry, just to make sure nothing’s amiss. Even if one or both are virgins, it’s a nice courtesy.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top