dating books

[bekalc]

I don’t know… A couple of years ago, I was all upset because I hadn’t had a real boyfriend (a guy I dated for two days didn’t count) I prayed and prayed and begged and begged. And well I got a boyfriend alright. Now he was a great guy and all that. But to be quite frank, my relationship with God suffered and my relationship with my friends suffered too. My senior year in college was actually the worst year and I thought having a boyfriend would be wonderful! :lol: No we didn’t go all the way and have sex but still. It was something I wasn’t really ready for, Although I must say I learned a lot of very valuable life lessons, and my second serious relationship was certainly purer.

I guess what I’m saying is that I think we of course need to put ourselves in a place where we can met someone but also let’s trust God and his timing too. The last thing we want to do is rush into marriage with the wrong person. While I totally believe we get a choice, I’ve also seen with some of my friends who are happily married how much it was a matter of timing. And sometimes too the right guy could literally be under our nose-as it was for a friend of mine. Who wouldn’t even consider her future husband until I convinced her that she should at least give the guy a chance.

 

[TraderTif]

How about “The Exclamation”, by Patricia Wrona?

And I liked “Three to Get Married” by Fulton Sheen.

 

[LilyElain]

*Dating should be like interviewing for a job, complete with CV/resume. References, the whole nine yards. You call those who send you their resume, arrange for the interview…meet at a very neutral place…both wear business suits. In this case, both people would be interviewing each other…you go through about five or so resumes…(so it doesn’t get too confusing) then you pick one or two to come back for a second interview…that can be a date…then, you send a letter rejecting those that ‘didn’t make the final cut,’ and an acceptance letter to the one you like. lol

I’m being silly of course…but as a business woman, if I were single…I think keeping it professional could make things easier.

The rejection letter could be something like this…

"Due to the overwhelming response to my ad, your characteristics were definitely appealing, but there were those that more closely matched what I’m looking for. I will keep your resume on file, however.’’

Business as usual. No hard feelings… *

LOL Love this…I think I may have to use this in the future!

 

[LilyElain]

I know these are not really " dating books" and that some people do not like them…but I have read The Love that Satisfies and *Heaven Song *both by Christopher West…they definitely changed the way I saw myself and the other person in a relationship…just my two cents worth…I really never liked the idea of someone else telling me how to date when they did not know me or my potential mate…

 

[cmscms]

HI Everyone,

Thanks for your replies.

TO clarify when I said Christian, yes I meant protestant.

Hi CS,

Who wrote the book ‘Why he didn’t call you back’. If it is the one I am thinking of I found it to be very ‘off colour’

Thanks

CM

 

[CountrySinger]

HI Everyone,

Thanks for your replies.

TO clarify when I said Christian, yes I meant protestant.

Hi CS,

Who wrote the book ‘Why he didn’t call you back’. If it is the one I am thinking of I found it to be very ‘off colour’

Thanks

CM

It is by Rachel Greenwald. I’ve just started it, and I haven’t found anything oft-putting.

 

[beckers]

The most important thing is for each person to find themselves first. Understand your calling as a man or women and then things will fall into place.

Books for women that i have enjoyed.

Whats a women to do while waiting for Mr. Right-Janet Floger- She treats you like a friend in a coffee shop. She is protestant but very catholic in a sense.
amazon.com/gp/product/159052330X/ref=ox_ya_oh_product

Lady In waiting-Also very good for women about God’s calling for us.
amazon.com/gp/product/0768423104/ref=ox_ya_oh_product

My roommates favorites
I kissed dating goodbye-Joshua Harris
amazon.com/Kissed-Dating-Goodbye-Joshua-Harris/dp/1590521358/ref=pd_sim_b_1

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship -Joshua Harris
amazon.com/Boy-Meets-Girl-Hello-Courtship/dp/1590521676/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262554993&sr=1-1

 

[bmaj]

Real Love: Answers to Your Questions on Dating, Marriage and the Real Meaning of Sex By Mary Beth Bonacci seems to be a very good book for Catholics, dating and married. Believe it or not, I was pleasantly surprised when looking for a Catholic bible for my mother in law for Christmas–amazon has a lot of Catholic books…so, I’d try there. Good luck, and God bless.

I agree wholeheartedly with Whatevergirl- “Real Love: Answers to Your…” is a wonderful book for Catholics who are going through dating challenges. I wish I had read it while I was dating years ago, but I was told about it recently and bought it, and it can even help with some questions married folks have.
God bless you - and may He also bless Whatevergirl - she always has terrific and extremely helpful insight!

 

[chevalier]

Doods, just please be careful and don’t take views written with an obvious 1890 bent as absolute truth. And don’t fall for magical words. For example “dating” is only one of many possible ways in which things can happen between a man and a woman before they marry. It’s just a model of social behaviour, one of many possible.

As far as “courtship” goes, it’s the whole thing of getting someone to marry you. Actually, dating falls under that definition and makes one of the possible models of it (just as long as dating isn’t dating for its own sake, then obviously you aren’t getting anyone to marry you). In a dating => engagement => marriage pattern, dating *is *courting.

By the way, “courtship” also is just a proposed model, one of many. Some people have done without it.

Besides, dating is a skewed concept and “courtship” the way it’s understood here is basically a form of historical reenactment. Needless to say, both are bad for you if you take them to the extreme. Don’t allow adherence to such a concept to prevent you from meeting people, getting to know them (getting to know doesn’t include trying out) etc.

 

[Liberanosamalo]

I know you asked for a good Catholic viewpoint.

I don’t often do this here. I agree all the other books suggested are great. I’ve recommended them and had them on the shelves for the kids to read.

But it’s a wolf’s world out there. And we must be wise as serpents. Sometimes it helps to get the inside scoop from someone who has been running with the wolves.

Wendy Walsh wrote The Boyfriend Test and the Girlfriend Test.

She didn’t live a very wholesome life. But hers is the advice I wish I had gotten from friends LOONNNNG ago.

To get a good boyfriend, you have to be a good girlfriend. So start from there with a self-evaluation.

Overlook the stuff that doesn’t apply to you morality-wise.

She tells it like it is.

For the record, I took the Boyfriend Test and read it with the memories of xh. I scored him (handy little quizzes at the end of each chapter so you can rate them numerically and analyze them statistically. xh’s score translated to “Don’t even accept this man’s phone calls.”)

She was right.

Her view is one of pre-empting someone who is a user or a loser. How to tell the bad signals as the relationship is progressing from meeting on to first phone call to first date on forward. Very practical stuff. Again, knowlege I wish I had years ago. Sometimes it helps to hear from jaded non-Catholic people who have been out in the trenches dealing with those kind of people.

 

[dakotagirl]

Liberanosamalo: If you say read it, I read it!! . And other people should too! I totally feel you when you say it is a wolf’s world and we must be as wise as serpents…it’s just too easy to be naive.
I have a certain blond Catholic hunk I need to try out the test for… (Ok, in looks he’s more of a seven, but to me he’s a total ten)

Anyways, more books that are definitely worthwhile are anything by Dietrich von Hildebrand on the subject of love/marriage. They are not dating books, but they are amazing! One of the popes (I don’t remember which ) called him the “20th century Doctor of the Church”. And von Hildebrand was married!

 

[Liberanosamalo]

DakotaGirl, I’ve heard his wife, Alice von Hildebrand speak on the radio. She is wonderful too. And she speaks of something important that we all have to keep in mind. She once gave a lecture on “love at first sight.” I remember the gist of it being that when that happens and we’re in love like that, is a grace we’re given to see the person as God sees their potentiality. And when a couple gets married, their job is to be the face of Christ for that person, and in loving that person, help them to attain that vision of themselves that they saw when “love at first sight” struck.

Problem is getting from “here” to “there” with someone. Often we are lovestruck with that image of how God created them and too late we see the raw materials we’re dealing with.

God really did create us to be that dazzling person of goodness and light we all think we get when we first fall in love.

Yeah, didn’t work out so well for me. Where was Wendy Walsh when I needed her?

 

[graceandglory]

I thought the book was a little slight as well. It is meant for someone a little younger than me, lol.

I think I’m twice your age CountrySinger, and I read it twice! And underlined it and highlighted it! I think it’s one of the best!!!

I recommend Mars and Venus on a Date. It’s a secular book, but other than telling you when to have sex in your premarital relationship :bigyikes: it has some of the best dating and relationship advice I’ve ever read.

Since I don’t believe in recreational dating just for a remedy to loneliness, when you are dating for a while and beginning to discern, I recommend The Exclamation by Patricia Wrona

 

[dakotagirl]

DakotaGirl, I’ve heard his wife, Alice von Hildebrand speak on the radio. She is wonderful too. And she speaks of something important that we all have to keep in mind. She once gave a lecture on “love at first sight.” I remember the gist of it being that when that happens and we’re in love like that, is a grace we’re given to see the person as God sees their potentiality. And when a couple gets married, their job is to be the face of Christ for that person, and in loving that person, help them to attain that vision of themselves that they saw when “love at first sight” struck.

That is awesome!! It is from one of the von Hildebrands that I heard that “Love is not blind. It is love which truly sees.” That is the kind of amazing, eye-opening things they say! Alice also wrote By Love Refined, another commendable book (on marriage, not dating).

Btw, Liberanosamalo, umm I have been through **** because of men, but nothing like you. . So sorry for all the garbage you went through.

 

[CountrySinger]

I think I’m twice your age CountrySinger, and I read it twice! And underlined it and highlighted it! I think it’s one of the best!!!

I recommend Mars and Venus on a Date. It’s a secular book, but other than telling you when to have sex in your premarital relationship :bigyikes: it has some of the best dating and relationship advice I’ve ever read.

Since I don’t believe in recreational dating just for a remedy to loneliness, when you are dating for a while and beginning to discern, I recommend The Exclamation by Patricia Wrona

Hee hee. My mom once bought “Mars and Venus on a Date” for me. But not before reading it, she had crossed out all the premarital sex out. I was 25 and not a virgin. I still laughed. She always wanted me to get married before she died. That didn’t happen.

 

[SeekingWisdom]

Hi hi hi!!
Read the one CS mentioned when I was young and starry-eyed…lolz.
There’s nothing wrong with it but as I recall it was somewhat short and basic.
I do recommend Christian Courtship in an Oversexed World: A Guide for Catholics, by Thomas G. Morrow. He is a Catholic priest, if I remember correctly, and the volume was quite informative.

Edited to add: don’t be turned off by the “courtship” part of the title: I don’t remember it being anything like pages of meaningless courting rituals, just super good common sense.

YES!!! I know Fr. Morrow. He is a splendid priest!

 

[dakotagirl]

YES!!! I know Fr. Morrow. He is a splendid priest!

Lol! I hear you, my sweet. I always say there is not three degrees of separation in the Catholic world, but one. One!! Too ridiculous, but so very true.

 

[CountrySinger]

Yay! I got my dating books from Amazon today!
I got:
Crash Course in Love by Steve Ward (from the TV show Tough Love, I love that show)
The Thrill of the Chaste
and…
The best title of a book EVER

Make Every Man Want You!

I could use some men wanting me. Then I can practice dumping them (I’m bitter).

 

[dakotagirl]

Yay! I got my dating books from Amazon today!
I got:
Crash Course in Love by Steve Ward (from the TV show Tough Love, I love that show)
The Thrill of the Chaste
and…
The best title of a book EVER

Make Every Man Want You!

I could use some men wanting me. Then I can practice dumping them (I’m bitter).

Oh! TheToftheC one is fab! (The title is cool too.) Let us know if the others are good.

 

[Joe_5859]

My roommates favorites
I kissed dating goodbye-Joshua Harris
amazon.com/Kissed-Dating-Goodbye-Joshua-Harris/dp/1590521358/ref=pd_sim_b_1

On the flip side, there is also the book I Gave Dating a Chance by Jeramy Clark

I haven’t read either book, so I don’t know if they are good or not, but I always think of them together as the titles are polar opposites, yet both books are written by Christians.