Daycare as grave matter

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StAugustine said:
If the answer is anywhere near- “She owes her husband to raise his children herself, and the children have a right to be so raised” and this duty is neglected, would that put it more in the category of grave sin?
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Frankly, that is ridiculous and definitely nothing taught by the Church!!
 
BoomBoomMancini said:
Daycare, good daycare anyway, doesn’t mean sticking your kid in a cell where they just stare at the wall all day. The one my daughter goes to has two adults for five kids, so plenty of adult interaction.
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Don’t care. I wouldn’t put my kid in a daycare. No matter how good they say it is.
 
Not trying to talk you into it, just trying to dispel the notion that it’s just warehousing.

As an aside (not saying this is you) as a parent with a kid in daycare, it is a bit annoying when people get holier than thou about it. Like, if you don’t need to, awesome. That’s great for you. But we do have to. Even though my wife and I are both professionals who make a healthy salary, we live in an area where the average home price is between 750k-1m. Our rent is $4500 a month, and that’s not us being extravagant. We would be in a real hard place with just one income.

Again, not saying that’s you, but I do see it sometimes from people who can afford to have one parent stay home full time.
 
Maybe it’s different in the US. But Irish daycare doesn’t have a good name. And the government are constantly trying to force parents into the workplace. It’s nothing personal…I just have a thing about it.
 
I think the problem is the opposite—that kids can get over stimulated from the constant hustle and bustle.

That being said, day care is not a sin.
 
Catholic in name only. As a teacher, I think the Churc should sell most of it’s schools and keep a few to be genuinely Catholic.
 
The Church here should have seen this coming.

There used to be a religious examination of the kids by a diocesan priest once a year. And now it is a friendly visit only. The catholic faith is supposed to be taught for 30mins each day in Ireland, and teachers actually use it as the time the kids eat their little lunch and big lunch before going out to play.

The kids do not know the Commandments leaving high school.
In high school here religion is a ‘fun free class’ where general life ‘ethics’ is spoken about and DVDs are put playing.

There was no accountability for about a decade here for religion teachers.
 
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It depends on the daycare centre?

Could a particular very unsavoury daycare centre be a neglect to the child’s wellbeing?

For example:
What kind of people are running the daycare centre?
Are they vetted?
Do the kids get fed? Get fed healthy snacks?
Are their nappies changed (eg if they are very young),
Are they positively constructive if they need to correct the kids? Or do they shout at the kids?
Are the kids left unsupervised at any stage of the day?
Does the staff smoke in the presence of the kids?
Is age appropriate television content shown if TV is on?
Are the kids being provided with age appropriate things to stimulate their development?
Does the building have proper air conditioning/ heating?
Does the daycare centre pass on important information at the end of the day to the parents? Eg: the child vomitted, didn’t eat lunch, cried for one hour, was punched by another child, fell over a step, etc
 
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Personally I believe that there is a difference between placing a child in daycare so the parents can afford lavish vacations, a new pool and other material things compared to working to make ends meet and put food on the table.
 
Katie777 said:
Personally I believe that there is a difference between placing a child in daycare so the parents can afford lavish vacations, a new pool and other material things compared to working to make ends meet and put food on the table.
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I worked very hard to attain my professional credentials. Even if I should have a husband who can be sure we “make ends meet” without my salary, I am not going to discard the gift I have. I can still raise my children using the aid of a daycare and not harm them in the slightest. Further, I think that it is a far better example for my children to see that their mother can be engaged in work she loves and excels at and still be present for them.
 
casslean said:
Even if I should have a husband who can be sure we “make ends meet” without my salary, I am not going to discard the gift I have. I can still raise my children using the aid of a daycare and not harm them in the slightest.
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Same. Ultimately I’ll put my family first but that doesn’t always mean sacrificing my passion to be a Sahm. That doesn’t mean that I’ll neglect my kids either. For some reason, Catholic circles seem to hold the view that working mothers are selfish or that they don’t spend enough time with their kids. Double standards too, because dads can come home and spend an hour with the kids without being questioned for their parenting. Sigh.
 
Lea101 said:
Same. Ultimately I’ll put my family first but that doesn’t always mean sacrificing my passion to be a Sahm. That doesn’t mean that I’ll neglect my kids either. For some reason, Catholic circles seem to hold the view that working mothers are selfish or that they don’t spend enough time with their kids. Double standards too, because dads can come home and spend an hour with the kids without being questioned for their parenting. Sigh.
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It also presupposes God’s plan by presuming that the correct role for every mother is to be a SAHM. I am convinced that it was God’s working that allowed me to go to university, then law school, because statistically, none of that should have ever happened. Why would I not continue to discern how to appropriately use those skills to further God’s plan just because I have children?
 
Delphinus said:
New mom here, having to put by beloved precious baby in full-time daycare soon, so I thought I’d drop my two cents:

I can’t speak for all mothers, but I can speak for myself and my friends that dropping kiddo off at daycare while we have to work is a heart-wrenching, torturous, tear-inducing ritual that I’d frankly rather drag steel needles through my cheek than endure. However, my son has to have a home, food, and clothing so it’s a horrible necessity. I can’t imagine many mothers feel much differently.

Chalk another number up for believing this priest is clueless on this one.
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Exactly how I felt 20 years ago. I cannot understand why anyone would want to load more guilt onto working mom’s considering what we already feel.

Hang in there Delphinus, anecdotally I can tell you that my child thrived in Daycare. Many days she didn’t want to leave when I arrived to pick her up as she was having too much fun. She’s 20 now and has grown into a wonderful young adult if I do say so myself 😉
 
casslean said:
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Katie777:
Personally I believe that there is a difference between placing a child in daycare so the parents can afford lavish vacations, a new pool and other material things compared to working to make ends meet and put food on the table.
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I worked very hard to attain my professional credentials. Even if I should have a husband who can be sure we “make ends meet” without my salary, I am not going to discard the gift I have. I can still raise my children using the aid of a daycare and not harm them in the slightest. Further, I think that it is a far better example for my children to see that their mother can be engaged in work she loves and excels at and still be present for them.
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I worked hard for my professional credentials too and work.

In this society though, people place more value on the material and thier status of this world then family. I see this everyday, and I personally believe that this is what the op is addressing.
 
Lack of stimulation…?

What kind of daycare are/were you looking at. That’s one thing I’ve never worried about, nor have I ever had to. There’s days my youngest (like yesterday) where he’s having a blast and doesn’t want to leave right away.
 
Katie777 said:
In this society though, people place more value on the material and thier status of this world then family. I see this everyday, and I personally believe that this is what the op is addressing.
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What I see is people assuming there is only one right way to raise a family. There is not.
 
casslean said:
It also presupposes God’s plan by presuming that the correct role for every mother is to be a SAHM.
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What’s wrong with being a SAHM? (new acronym for me!)
When/where I was a kid it was unusual for mothers to have a job. Now it seems to be the opposite.
 
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