De-spoiling a child

[HoldingSpace]

Umm, sending the children to someone else might not be the best idea since they have already been abandoned by their father.
It isn’t like the mom isn’t having boundaries out of choice, but rather necessity. She simply doesn’t wan’t to lose her housing because of terrified, screaming kids.

At this point, the mom needs to keep a roof over their heads. It’s not like these babies are old enough to understand what is happening and how precarious their position is. The mom just needs to love on those babies and see if she can get assistance for decent affordable housing so she can be in her own place and assistance for childcare that is available on a 24/7 basis. If the mom had access to childcare that operates outside of a typical work day, she would still be able to work even if the father didn’t show up.

I hate how these types of men punish their former partners by not doing their part to care for their children. And it’s only going to get worse as more states push for 50/50 time sharing and don’t have the legal remedies in place should a parent refuse to do their part.

 

[HoldingSpace]

Seriously. And what I had in mind was family, or if that’s not possible a friend whom the kids already know. Perhaps this is all very strange in the USA. Where I live it is very common thing for kids to live with extended family, usually for practical reasons, e.g. uncle’s house much closer to school. I don’t see the big deal, especially if it’s temporary.

I totally respect your culture’s way of handling this type of situation. The American culture has become so backwards when it comes to families. I think it has to do with our attitudes of rugged individualism and the puritanical perspective of work. One would think that extended family could help with the children, but our family court system highly would frown upon such a situation since it expects the parents to be the ones caring for the children. If the mom were to bring extended family into the picture, she might have to deal with child protective services and more custody hearings.

Military families seem to be an exception. The family courts are more understanding if the children stay with an auntie or uncle while mom and dad serve.