Dealing with a passive aggressive person

  • Thread starter Thread starter CRATUS
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CRATUS said:
Well I did it. I swallowed my pride and apologized.

I feel free. The Lord is Good
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That’s why we apologize. It frees us from our own guilt. Good for you for doing the right thing. I hope your roommate does as well, but whether she does or not, you now know that you did the right thing. Well done!
 
CRATUS said:
I am moving out. I feel like she is determined to make my few weeks here hell.
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Good! You have the strength to stick it out for a few more weeks. Don’t harm your soul by finding retribution that will only hurt you in the long run.
 
The situation has not changed but I am at peace. I doubt we will ever reconcile or at least anytime soon
 
Is it worth it to tell my leasing office what is going on? If she damages the door I do not want to blamed?
 
CRATUS said:
Is it worth it to tell my leasing office what is going on? If she damages the door I do not want to blamed?
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Not sure what your lease is like, but I would assume if both of your names are on there, you both would be responsible. Doesn’t matter who caused the damage. I would check your lease and/or call the leasing office for clarification if you aren’t sure.
 
AKDee said:
That’s why we apologize. It frees us from our own guilt. Good for you for doing the right thing. I hope your roommate does as well, but whether she does or not, you now know that you did the right thing. Well done!
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When I apologized she said I was a terrible person. I am curious what I may have done to her that warrants this behavior. You would think I slept with her boyfriend or killed her dog for her to be acting this way. Then again anytime she has conflict with someone she usually says it is their fault and they are a terrible person.
 
KildareBrigid said:
Not sure what your lease is like, but I would assume if both of your names are on there, you both would be responsible. Doesn’t matter who caused the damage. I would check your lease and/or call the leasing office for clarification if you aren’t sure.
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Smart thinking. I should look at the lease.
 
Pray.

Then when something irritating happens, pray some more.

Then, just for good measure, pray.

🙂
 
KildareBrigid said:
Pray.

Then when something irritating happens, pray some more.

Then, just for good measure, pray.

🙂
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I am curious why she thinks I am such a terrible person and because of that it was excuses her vengeful bullying behavior. Part of me thinks that is all bull to be honest. If I ever did anything particularly offensive to her, she never really told me anyways so why bother worrying. Then again she never thinks anything is her fault. The other person is always a terrible person in her opinion. There is never anything wrong with her.
 
Minor damages to the door. Mild indentations in the wall, imprinting. The doorknob is loosening.
 
CRATUS said:
I am curious why she thinks I am such a terrible person and because of that it was excuses her vengeful bullying behavior. Part of me thinks that is all bull to be honest. If I ever did anything particularly offensive to her, she never really told me anyways so why bother worrying. Then again she never thinks anything is her fault. The other person is always a terrible person in her opinion. There is never anything wrong with her.
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Without knowing either one of you or the situation, I don’t know how much help I can be. My gut recommendation is to just let it go for now, move out, cool off, and don’t fight over the damage deposit costs. Then, maybe in a few months or so you can try to reach out and talk.

When I was a freshman in college I got in a fight with my roommate who wanted me to move out to a different room. I told her no and so she ended up moving out. It was ugly and awkward to see each other for the rest of the year, but on the last day during move out we ended up having to ride the elevator together. In the elevator ride from the 5th floor to the 1st floor we both just said we were sorry for the ugliness and wished each other well. We don’t hang out now but are Facebook friends and have no ill will towards one another.

If you do try to reach out again and this person just wants to make you feel guilty, then she may not be a good person to have in your life. Trust me, it is not worth trying to “force” her to understand her cruelness. You won’t win, I promise.
 
KildareBrigid said:
Without knowing either one of you or the situation, I don’t know how much help I can be. My gut recommendation is to just let it go for now, move out, cool off, and don’t fight over the damage deposit costs. Then, maybe in a few months or so you can try to reach out and talk.

When I was a freshman in college I got in a fight with my roommate who wanted me to move out to a different room. I told her no and so she ended up moving out. It was ugly and awkward to see each other for the rest of the year, but on the last day during move out we ended up having to ride the elevator together. In the elevator ride from the 5th floor to the 1st floor we both just said we were sorry for the ugliness and wished each other well. We don’t hang out now but are Facebook friends and have no ill will towards one another.

If you do try to reach out again and this person just wants to make you feel guilty, then she may not be a good person to have in your life. Trust me, it is not worth trying to “force” her to understand her cruelness. You won’t win, I promise.
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I am fine for now. I will let it go. I do not foresee a happy ending to be honest. I really do not want to pay for any damages she did to the door.
 
CRATUS said:
I am fine for now. I will let it go. I do not foresee a happy ending to be honest. I really do not want to pay for any damages she did to the door.
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I know, it stinks. However I am sure it will be better in the long term to split the cost and move on, instead of starting a new battle. I’m sorry this is happening to you!
 
KildareBrigid said:
I know, it stinks. However I am sure it will be better in the long term to split the cost and move on, instead of starting a new battle. I’m sorry this is happening to you!
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We both think the other person is a terrible person. Interesting. I think I have spent enough time trying to figure this whole thing out. If she chooses not to tell me what I do so wrong to her, why bother? Of course it bothers me she called me a terrible human being I do not think she is any better with very passive aggressive way of getting revenge on me for God knows what.
 
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