I think I see where the root of the disagreement is. Correct me if I am wrong, Catholics believe there are sacraments which impart God’s grace to a person. Grace being that we get (salvation) what we don’t deserve. Speaking for my denomination (I don’t know enough about others to speak for them) God gives grace freely to those who have faith in Him. This faith comes by hearing and understanding God’s word. We also believe those who can’t understand (unborn, infants, young children, mentally retarded, insane, etc…) will be accepted to heaven because of God’s mercy.
Whether God starts extending that grace after someone confesses Christ as their Lord and Savior or when they come up out of the water I don’t know. Our church baptizes ASAP after a person makes their confession. The church I grew up in had a baptistry ready 24/7, baptism was automatic after confessing so exactly when grace was imparted didn’t matter.
Well, there are graces and then there are graces.
The
Actual Graces are a lot like you described, “
God gives grace freely to those who have faith in Him”, but God also gives them to those without faith, which helps to ignite their faith. There are other types of actual graces, but you get the gist of it.
But then there are
Sacramental Graces, and God normally distributes those through the Church. Take Forgiveness of our Sins, for instance. God gave the authority to the Apostles to forgive sins in His Name (John 20:20-22 among other Scriptures). Through the Apostolic Succession, this authority has been passed on to the priesthood to forgive sins in His Name to the faithful. BTW, do you realize that many priests can trace their line of succession all the way back to an Apostle?
The Eucharist is another
Sacramental Grace that is distributed through the Church. In the Last Supper, Jesus instituted the priesthood (Note: “Do this in Memory of Me” is a command with a heavily Sacrificial context).
Baptism is another
Sacramental Grace, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be done through a priest, bishop, or deacon.
Marriage is a
Sacramental Grace, but the Graces are transferred straight from God to the married couple.
There are 7 sacraments in the Catholic Church.