Destination Weddings -- Thoughts?

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What do you think of Catholics having a Catholic Church destination wedding in Las Vegas (especially in situations when the future bride and groom, and their families, all live in the same area–the families are not scattered across a state or the country, they are all within a 30-40 minute drive of each other)?
 
I think it’s fine, as long as the couple does not expect anyone to attend and doesn’t get offended when the majority of the invitees decline… It would be a hassle to do all the marriage prep for a parish you didn’t live near, though.

Personally, having my family and friends able to come to my wedding without hardship was pretty important to me. To others, it may not be.
 
I’ve thought about doing this if I ever get married since the majority of my family/friends are not Catholic or CINO (Catholics in name only :D), but I would probably do it just a little different. What I would do is have a Catholic church marriage ceremony in my home parish with just a very small amount of family present. Then have a wedding at a fun destination. That way the sacrament is observed reverently and you still have the “party.”😃
 
I think it’s fine, as long as the couple does not expect anyone to attend and doesn’t get offended when the majority of the invitees decline… It would be a hassle to do all the marriage prep for a parish you didn’t live near, though.

Personally, having my family and friends able to come to my wedding without hardship was pretty important to me. To others, it may not be.
There are several valid counter points people raise. (1) The cost to travel to the location is often a burden on those invited, including close family members. (2) The knowing exclusion of those who cannot afford to go, or those who are too old to get on a plane, etc. (3) The rather cold and impersonal situation of “selecting” a Church to have the wedding Mass. (4) The couple’s inability to acknowledge that a wedding is meant to be a public witness to others, for people to see them bound together as one by God. (5) Oftentimes family members are forced to attend those weddings even though they have serious reservations about attending, and even though they might have wanted to spend their money in other ways, and what happens if a close family member just plain objects to the location…it all seems so self centered, and there seems to be such a lack of focus on God.

It is understandable to have a destination wedding when a couple’s family is scattered.
 
What I would do is have a Catholic church marriage ceremony in my home parish with just a very small amount of family present. Then have a wedding at a fun destination. That way the sacrament is observed reverently and you still have the “party.”😃
One may not have another wedding ceremony after the Catholic ceremony. But one may certainly have a nice, big reception!
 
What do you think of Catholics having a Catholic Church destination wedding in Las Vegas (especially in situations when the future bride and groom, and their families, all live in the same area–the families are not scattered across a state or the country, they are all within a 30-40 minute drive of each other)?
It sounds like a headache. First, you have to find a parish in LV that is willing to allow a wedding for non-parishioners. Second, you have to get your own pastor’s permission. Two priests have to coordinate for the pre-marital paperwork and the pre-cana counseling.

All that being said, I got married in my parent’s parish where neither me nor my spouse-to-be were parishioners. It can be done but it is an extra layer of paperwork and permissions that you should be aware of ahead of time. In our case, we were in a college town so our pastor was used to doing pre-cana for couples who then went home or to the location of their first after-college job to get married. And I had my mom as an advance person at the parish. 🙂
 
One may not have another wedding ceremony after the Catholic ceremony. But one may certainly have a nice, big reception!
I’ve heard of a couple doing this when the bride wasn’t American. It was just easier for the paperwork for her to marry her American husband in the US, and then to have the two of them go back to her home country for the festivities. You can’t do the ceremony twice, but there is nothing preventing gathering for a Mass before the reception!
 
One may not have another wedding ceremony after the Catholic ceremony. But one may certainly have a nice, big reception!
  1. In many countries, the state does not recognize religious marriage ceremonies and it is the norm (and REQUIRED by the Church) for the couple to first have a civil ceremony before a judge or equivalent followed by a religious wedding in the church.
  2. While an additional wedding ceremony is not an option after the church wedding, if a couple chose to have a very small, private church wedding, could they not have a solemn renewal of vows and blessing at a later date followed by a reception? It wouldn’t be a wedding per se, but it would serve the same social purpose.
 
  1. In many countries, the state does not recognize religious marriage ceremonies and it is the norm (and REQUIRED by the Church) for the couple to first have a civil ceremony before a judge or equivalent followed by a religious wedding in the church.
I don’t think you read what I wrote.
  1. While an additional wedding ceremony is not an option after the church wedding, if a couple chose to have a very small, private church wedding, could they not have a solemn renewal of vows and blessing at a later date followed by a reception? It wouldn’t be a wedding per se, but it would serve the same social purpose.
A renewal of vows, no. The Church has instructions for a rite within the Mass for jubilee wedding anniversaries and a ritual Mass for jubilee anniversaries (25, 50, etc). It is not exactly a vow renewal, it is really a blessing with some special texts. The US Bishop’s Conference also has its own rite for jubilee anniversaries within the Mass.

So, these are in the context of Mass, not a wedding reception. And they are for jubliee celebrations. it would not be appropriate to “renew” vows in proximity to the original vows such as has been suggested. Nor can they use their actual vows. The Church is careful in the wording of the rites that the couple is NOT exchanging new consent or really “renewing” anything at all. That is contrary to the perpetuity of the Sacrament of Matrimony.

They could certainly receive a blessing by a priest, outside of Mass such as at their wedding reception, from the book of blessings.
 
I don’t think you read what I wrote.

A renewal of vows, no. The Church has instructions for a rite within the Mass for jubilee wedding anniversaries and a ritual Mass for jubilee anniversaries (25, 50, etc). It is not exactly a vow renewal, it is really a blessing with some special texts. The US Bishop’s Conference also has its own rite for jubilee anniversaries within the Mass.

So, these are in the context of Mass, not a wedding reception. And they are for jubliee celebrations. it would not be appropriate to “renew” vows in proximity to the original vows such as has been suggested. Nor can they use their actual vows. The Church is careful in the wording of the rites that the couple is NOT exchanging new consent or really “renewing” anything at all. That is contrary to the perpetuity of the Sacrament of Matrimony.

They could certainly receive a blessing by a priest, outside of Mass such as at their wedding reception, from the book of blessings.
I’m confused… Two of my siblings and two cousins married people from other countries, had a nuptual Mass in those countries, then came back to the US within 8 weeks for a “renewal of vows” Mass for all the family and friends that could not travel overseas for the original wedding. This has all been within the past 10 years and at three different parishes in our diocese.
 
I don’t think you read what I wrote.

A renewal of vows, no. The Church has instructions for a rite within the Mass for jubilee wedding anniversaries and a ritual Mass for jubilee anniversaries (25, 50, etc). It is not exactly a vow renewal, it is really a blessing with some special texts. The US Bishop’s Conference also has its own rite for jubilee anniversaries within the Mass.

So, these are in the context of Mass, not a wedding reception. And they are for jubliee celebrations.** it would not be appropriate to “renew” vows in proximity to the original vows such as has been suggested. ** Nor can they use their actual vows. The Church is careful in the wording of the rites that the couple is NOT exchanging new consent or really “renewing” anything at all. That is contrary to the perpetuity of the Sacrament of Matrimony.

They could certainly receive a blessing by a priest, outside of Mass such as at their wedding reception, from the book of blessings.
I’m just curious, but why in the world would it be inappropriate as a way to allow family members/friends who could not attend the actual wedding a chance to witness their love for another being publicly proclaimed?
 
I’m confused… Two of my siblings and two cousins married people from other countries, had a nuptual Mass in those countries, then came back to the US within 8 weeks for a “renewal of vows” Mass for all the family and friends that could not travel overseas for the original wedding. This has all been within the past 10 years and at three different parishes in our diocese.
My sister also was married in the states then had a renewal of vows ceremony with the rest of her family that could not make it in another country. I don’t see why this would be in any way inappropriate.
 
I’m confused… Two of my siblings and two cousins married people from other countries, had a nuptual Mass in those countries, then came back to the US within 8 weeks for a “renewal of vows” Mass for all the family and friends that could not travel overseas for the original wedding. This has all been within the past 10 years and at three different parishes in our diocese.
This couple did have the option of having a legal wedding in the US, with the nuptial Mass before or after. They opted to have their “legal” US wedding done by a priest at a small gathering in the town where they had attended college and intended to live after graduation, because of the number of close friends who couldn’t travel (Personally, I think they also didn’t want to wait to be really married and move in together, but that is conjecture on my part!)

At any rate, there are legal considerations when a citizen of the US marries a non-citizen on foreign soil. (Many of which, being from the Americas, also consider themselves American…)
 
There are several valid counter points people raise. (1) The cost to travel to the location is often a burden on those invited, including close family members. (2) The knowing exclusion of those who cannot afford to go, or those who are too old to get on a plane, etc. (3) The rather cold and impersonal situation of “selecting” a Church to have the wedding Mass. (4) The couple’s inability to acknowledge that a wedding is meant to be a public witness to others, for people to see them bound together as one by God. (5) Oftentimes family members are forced to attend those weddings even though they have serious reservations about attending, and even though they might have wanted to spend their money in other ways, and what happens if a close family member just plain objects to the location…it all seems so self centered, and there seems to be such a lack of focus on God.

It is understandable to have a destination wedding when a couple’s family is scattered.
Agree completely. You’re basically saying “pay $2500, or don’t come to my wedding”. If you want to elope, fine, but don’t put that burden on your family and friends.
 
What do you think of Catholics having a Catholic Church destination wedding in Las Vegas (especially in situations when the future bride and groom, and their families, all live in the same area–the families are not scattered across a state or the country, they are all within a 30-40 minute drive of each other)?
My personal thoughts, not a fan. I respect that other people have different opinions on destination weddings, but for me it was very important to enter the Sacrament of Matrimony surrounded by as many family and friends as possible, in a setting (family parish) where other family members had received the sacraments over the years. Our focus was on the Sacrament, not the party.
 
My personal thoughts, not a fan. I respect that other people have different opinions on destination weddings, but for me it was very important to enter the Sacrament of Matrimony surrounded by as many family and friends as possible, in a setting (family parish) where other family members had received the sacraments over the years. Our focus was on the Sacrament, not the party.
Exactly–focus on what’s important.
 
I don’t think you read what I wrote.

A renewal of vows, no. The Church has instructions for a rite within the Mass for jubilee wedding anniversaries and a ritual Mass for jubilee anniversaries (25, 50, etc). It is not exactly a vow renewal, it is really a blessing with some special texts. The US Bishop’s Conference also has its own rite for jubilee anniversaries within the Mass.

So, these are in the context of Mass, not a wedding reception. And they are for jubliee celebrations. it would not be appropriate to “renew” vows in proximity to the original vows such as has been suggested. Nor can they use their actual vows. The Church is careful in the wording of the rites that the couple is NOT exchanging new consent or really “renewing” anything at all. That is contrary to the perpetuity of the Sacrament of Matrimony.

They could certainly receive a blessing by a priest, outside of Mass such as at their wedding reception, from the book of blessings.
You can’t generalize because that depends where you live. The Canadian Rite of Marriage has a Renewal of Vows ceremony that sends you back to the Rite of Marriage for the vows to be used. Renewal is mentioned in both the introduction and in the comments that follow the vows but the vows are exactly the same.
 
You can’t generalize because that depends where you live. The Canadian Rite of Marriage has a Renewal of Vows ceremony that sends you back to the Rite of Marriage for the vows to be used. Renewal is mentioned in both the introduction and in the comments that follow the vows but the vows are exactly the same.
Sorry, Phemie, but I am not surprised that Canada has done this. What a shame.

The Rite of the universal Church is careful to make the distinction, and the vows should not be the same.
 
I think they’re narcissistic. If you’re going to elope, great, have fun. I briefly considered it myself. But it’s rude to even ask your friends and family, no matter how close they are to you, to spend that kind of time and money so that your wedding can be a novelty.

I also have an issue with people who elope and then have a gift grab, er…I mean, “reception”. If you don’t value their presence at the exchange of your vows, don’t hit them up for gifts.
 
I’m just curious, but why in the world would it be inappropriate as a way to allow family members/friends who could not attend the actual wedding a chance to witness their love for another being publicly proclaimed?
Because the rites prescribed by the Church are for jubilee celebrations, and are within the context of the Mass. The comment was about having a “renewal of vows” at the reception/destination. Since the rite is within the Mass and it is for jubilee celebrations, the couple in question would meet neither of those elements.

They can certainly proclaim their love for one another publically. They can certainly receive a blessing from the book of blessings.
 
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