Destination Weddings -- Thoughts?

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irishpatrick said:
What do you think of Catholics having a Catholic Church destination wedding in Las Vegas (especially in situations when the future bride and groom, and their families, all live in the same area–the families are not scattered across a state or the country, they are all within a 30-40 minute drive of each other)?
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It sounds like fun! Try contacting a travel agency and see if they can get you all a good deal on hotel rooms.
 
JackieMom said:
I’m confused… Two of my siblings and two cousins married people from other countries, had a nuptual Mass in those countries, then came back to the US within 8 weeks for a “renewal of vows” Mass for all the family and friends that could not travel overseas for the original wedding. This has all been within the past 10 years and at three different parishes in our diocese.
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I’m conveying what the ritual calls for, I cannot speak to what individual priests in your diocese may or may not have done.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
I think they’re narcissistic. If you’re going to elope, great, have fun. I briefly considered it myself. But it’s rude to even ask your friends and family, no matter how close they are to you, to spend that kind of time and money so that your wedding can be a novelty.

I also have an issue with people who elope and then have a gift grab, er…I mean, “reception”. If you don’t value their presence at the exchange of your vows, don’t hit them up for gifts.
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While I agree that the venue ought to be chosen with the guests in mind, sometimes the home town is not even the guest’s first choice for a summer destination, particularly when the bride and groom no longer live near the parents and extended family of either one and the extended families live in areas that are far apart. Sometimes when they’re going to have to make the investment to travel, anyway, the guests would actually rather travel somewhere that it is easier to enjoy each other before and after the “main event”, where hotels are cheaper (or more plentiful) than a “home town” venue, where they can maybe get some rounds of golf in with the extended family and friends, and especially somewhere that the kids can be entertained.
 
1ke said:
I’m conveying what the ritual calls for, I cannot speak to what individual priests in your diocese may or may not have done.
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Even though a repeat of vows is not provided for, I would think a Mass of Thanksgiving could be offered and a blessing of the recently-married couple could be done in a church after their wedding day without violating any rubrics.
 
EasterJoy said:
Even though a repeat of vows is not provided for, I would think a Mass of Thanksgiving could be offered and a blessing of the recently-married couple could be done in a church after their wedding day without violating any rubrics.
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Absolutely! But that wasn’t what the post I was responding to was about-- the post I was responding to was about having a renewal at the destination, not at a Mass.
 
1ke said:
Absolutely! But that wasn’t what the post I was responding to was about-- the post I was responding to was about having a renewal at the destination, not at a Mass.
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Sorry, I wasn’t entirely clear. I meant to suggest a possible alternative to repeating the vows as if they had not already been made or could be amended (which is not allowed), not correct you. People might forget that even if you can’t “repeat” vows that have already been made once to last a lifetime, you can still gather for Mass and give thanks for the marriage! 👍
 
1ke said:
One may not have another wedding ceremony after the Catholic ceremony. But one may certainly have a nice, big reception!
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As the chances of me getting married are slim and none it’s pretty much a moot point 😃
 
1ke said:
Because the rites prescribed by the Church are for jubilee celebrations, and are within the context of the Mass. The comment was about having a “renewal of vows” at the reception/destination. Since the rite is within the Mass and it is for jubilee celebrations, the couple in question would meet neither of those elements.

They can certainly proclaim their love for one another publically. They can certainly receive a blessing from the book of blessings.
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I guess I still don’t see why it would really be inappropriate. I know that my sister, her husband, and the aunt and uncle who helped get it set up are very careful to follow Church teachings and prescriptions, so I find it hard to believe they messed up so badly by doing something that is not allowed. And even if this is something that is currently not allowed, I see no reason for it to be not allowed. I see nothing inappropriate about such a scenario for a renewal of vows so I see no reason for the Church to say it is not allowed. In fact, the fact that marriage is supposed to be public gives a very good reason for allowing a renewal of vows in such a situation. And just as a clarification, I am not saying people should go against Church rules, I’m just saying that I see no reason to prevent a renewal in such a situation and in fact see reason to allow it.
 
irishpatrick said:
Fun?
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I think they didn’t quite understand your OP. Or maybe I didn’t, I thought you were asking for opinions on the subject, not actually planning a destination wedding. I get the impression you aren’t a “fan” either.
 
irishpatrick said:
What do you think of Catholics having a Catholic Church destination wedding in Las Vegas (especially in situations when the future bride and groom, and their families, all live in the same area–the families are not scattered across a state or the country, they are all within a 30-40 minute drive of each other)?
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Destination weddings are often picked because it’s a package deal and the bride and groom don’t have to sweat the small details. That can come back to bite them in the a** when they don’t do their homework properly.

I had one couple planning a “beach” Catholic wedding at a Caribbean resort. That kind of made me wonder but they assured me that the resort had told them they could have a ‘priest’. As I recall they had done preparation here but the Pastor had failed to do the proper paperwork and when everything blew up in their face and they found out that there was no guarantee a priest would be the celebrant, the Pastor was away on holidays. I called the bishop to see what could be done and he said “Nothing at this point, they’ll simply have to have a civil marriage and a convalidation when they get back.” Not exactly what they had envisioned but they went ahead anyway.
 
Coming from someone who has family scattered all over the world, you are so blessed your families live in the same area! I would just have the ceremony at your local parish. It would make it a lot easier on your family and more could attend your special day. As a guest, I would prefer this.
irishpatrick said:
What do you think of Catholics having a Catholic Church destination wedding in Las Vegas (especially in situations when the future bride and groom, and their families, all live in the same area–the families are not scattered across a state or the country, they are all within a 30-40 minute drive of each other)?
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Phemie said:
I called the bishop to see what could be done and he said “Nothing at this point, they’ll simply have to have a civil marriage and a convalidation when they get back.” Not exactly what they had envisioned but they went ahead anyway.
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Are you sure this is the case? I find it stunning that a bishop would, or even a priest, would recommend that the couple proceed with an invalid and illicit act.
 
PatriceA said:
I think they didn’t quite understand your OP. Or maybe I didn’t, I thought you were asking for opinions on the subject, not actually planning a destination wedding. I get the impression you aren’t a “fan” either.
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I am asking for opinions–and you are correct, I am not a fan of destination weddings. I think they can often be quite immoral (note: not always, but often immoral).
 
Cheerios00 said:
Coming from someone who has family scattered all over the world, you are so blessed your families live in the same area! I would just have the ceremony at your local parish. It would make it a lot easier on your family and more could attend your special day. As a guest, I would prefer this.
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I am not the person(s) getting married. I agree that a local parish is the way to go, just asking for opinions because I have run into this several times now and it seems to be a very bad trend.
 
Phemie said:
Destination weddings are often picked because it’s a package deal and the bride and groom don’t have to sweat the small details. That can come back to bite them in the a** when they don’t do their homework properly.

I had one couple planning a “beach” Catholic wedding at a Caribbean resort. That kind of made me wonder but they assured me that the resort had told them they could have a ‘priest’. As I recall they had done preparation here but the Pastor had failed to do the proper paperwork and when everything blew up in their face and they found out that there was no guarantee a priest would be the celebrant, the Pastor was away on holidays. I called the bishop to see what could be done and he said “Nothing at this point, they’ll simply have to have a civil marriage and a convalidation when they get back.” Not exactly what they had envisioned but they went ahead anyway.
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What troubles me is that God and family (loved ones) should be the primary thoughts for any couple getting married–not the third, fourth, tenth, or never.
 
irishpatrick said:
What troubles me is that God and family (loved ones) should be the primary thoughts for any couple getting married–not the third, fourth, tenth, or never.
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While I agree with you, sometimes the family is the primary consideration. If you and/or your fiance have family from across the country, then it’s sometimes easier to have a destination wedding where everyone can get together and have some good times together. Obviously everyone might not be able to make it, but that would be true (at least for me) if I had a wedding in my home parish because I’m the only person in the family that lives where I live. Most of my immediate family is three hours away – for now. One’s about to move to the DC area. And my extended family is in another state. Most of them are older so they might not be able to come to my wedding regardless of where it was held. I would not be offended. It’s life.

I’ve been to one destination wedding, and it was quite nice. Both the bride and groom’s family and friends were there – most of them – and it was a great four days. We able to enjoy the wedding and a little mini vacation. I’m not saying it’s for everyone (and, obviously, there are rules with the Church that need to be adhered to) but I don’t think it’s right to just outright say that anyone who has a destination wedding is discounting the feelings/needs of their families.
 
Aggie414 said:
While I agree with you, sometimes the family is the primary consideration. If you and/or your fiance have family from across the country, then it’s sometimes easier to have a destination wedding where everyone can get together and have some good times together. Obviously everyone might not be able to make it, but that would be true (at least for me) if I had a wedding in my home parish because I’m the only person in the family that lives where I live. Most of my immediate family is three hours away – for now. One’s about to move to the DC area. And my extended family is in another state. Most of them are older so they might not be able to come to my wedding regardless of where it was held. I would not be offended. It’s life.

I’ve been to one destination wedding, and it was quite nice. Both the bride and groom’s family and friends were there – most of them – and it was a great four days. We able to enjoy the wedding and a little mini vacation. I’m not saying it’s for everyone (and, obviously, there are rules with the Church that need to be adhered to) but I don’t think it’s right to just outright say that anyone who has a destination wedding is discounting the feelings/needs of their families.
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I agree, and that is why I did not say that it was wrong in all cases. However, in a great many cases the couple chooses to have a destination wedding because THEY want it for THEM, with little deep reflection on God, family and loved ones. Some people will decry that opinion, yet the truth is destination weddings are often a true financial burden on those “expected” to attend, and they essentially force loved ones to travel to a location that often is not a place they would ever choose to go–and oftentimes older loved ones cannot fly, or will not fly, which puts them outside attending. The receptions or parties at home after the wedding is (imo) an enormous insult to those invited because the couple did not care enough for them to have their wedding at home where all can attend. The people going to those “after receptions” were not considered important enough to actually attend the wedding, yet in order to soothe ruffled feathers couples invite them to those “after receptions.”

Weddings are supposed to be a sacrament that is publically witnessed by loved ones, not under any burden, only under love and joy for the couple marrring under God.

The destination wedding trend (in many cases) is deeply narcissistic imo.
 
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