Did anybody ever view children (before they had them) as inconvenient/unwanted?

[LJN21]

I see what your are trying to say in this instance. But if a couple doesn’t want the child, it would still be considered unwanted, which I guess adoption would be a good choice

That mentality just boggles my mind. God hands you the of the most precious gifts on earth on earth in a marriage, and a couple would snub their nose at got and give it away. When you get pregnant its never a mistake. In a marriage, it is God giving you a gift of a little life that he expects you to care for and love. Thats the purpose of marriage!

So what can they use to avoid children? Abstinence? I guess making the whole marriage sex free is a no-no to the CC

They don’t avoid having children. Instead they put there faith in God and love and care for there kids!

Wow. do they have any other interest besides breeding?

This is a disgusting outrageous comment and I can’t help to think your intent here is to enrage considering other threads…

Maybe their interest are living Gods plan for their lives and raising the family he has blessed them with 'cause That is the purpose of marriage.

 

[Chovy]

Hmm… I’ve been reading your posts here and have wanted to respond in charity so I’ve been holding off. It sounds like children in general are an abomination to you. Some of your word choices (“breeding” “pooping them out” “so called gifts from God” just imply a hatred for reproduction and the fruits of reproduction- children.

That being said, an opinion like that is not compatible with a Catholic marriage. It just isn’t. Catholics are called to be open to life, which does mean they can avoid getting pregnant through natural family planning when they have just cause but that they will welcome children at any time. When a man and woman engage in intercourse, they may or may not become pregnant, whether they are using birth control, NFP, or nothing at all.

You should talk to a priest about this. Of course if you should find yourself pregnant, as a Catholic, you are obligated to respect that life, and you can always contact me. I’d be happy to adopt your baby.

You might want to also keep in mind that there are a lot of people on these boards who have recently lost their children, through death as pre-teens or teens, miscarriage, or stillbirth. You may not see your words as hurtful, but to a lot of people like us they really are.

I will keep you in my prayers and hope to see you post here some more.

 

[Jennifer_J]

Wow. do they have any other interest besides breeding?

Wow, do you understand how rude you are! Some people actually follow Church teaching and are able to take children as they come–no NFP, no abstinence, no nothing. They are given ZERO,1, 2, 3, 4, 5, or more children. They aren’t “breeding” machines-- They are open to the generous gift of children by God–even if they can’t concieve.

THIS is the attitude from you that some people have responded to–the negative, rude and misunderstanding you have about the Church. I’m glad you are learning, however, stop the RUDE comments, open your heart and mind to what we are offering to you about the beautiful gift of sacramental Catholic marriage and Children. Please.

 

[Jennifer_J]

I also want to add, if the couple has serious enough reasons (wife would die in a pregnancy, for instance) total, indefinate abstinence is fine–though VERY challenging. Also, if a husband or wife has a debilitating disease–MS, ALS, Alzheimers, or a horrible accident that renders them paralized or unable to have relations, then that is marriage is expected to be abstinent and chaste. Sexual relations are important to a marriage, but there is sooo much more to marriage and the good of the spouses may mean abstinence.

 

[Carjack1]

That mentality just boggles my mind. God hands you the of the most precious gifts on earth on earth in a marriage, and a couple would snub their nose at got and give it away.Wouldn’t a family want it because they can’t have one. I thought that would be a wonderful gift someone else When you get pregnant its never a mistake. In a marriage, it is God giving you a gift of a little life that he expects you to care for and love. Thats the purpose of marriage!

They don’t avoid having children. Easier said than doneInstead they put there faith in God and love and care for there kids!

This is a disgusting outrageous comment and I can’t help to think your intent here is to enrage considering other threads…I am not trying to enrage, people are taking what I am saying personally. They love their “gifts”. Great I applaud them. But it would be an unwanted intrusion. Sorry if my feelings are enraging

Maybe their interest are living Gods plan for their lives and raising the family he has blessed them with 'cause That is the purpose of marriage.

Then they got what they wanted because they left themselves open.

 

[Carjack1]

Hmm… I’ve been reading your posts here and have wanted to respond in charity so I’ve been holding off. It sounds like children in general are an abomination to you. Some of your word choices (“breeding” “pooping them out” “so called gifts from God” just imply a hatred for reproduction and the fruits of reproduction- children.

That being said, an opinion like that is not compatible with a Catholic marriage. It just isn’t. Catholics are called to be open to life, which does mean they can avoid getting pregnant through natural family planning when they have just cause but that they will welcome children at any time. When a man and woman engage in intercourse, they may or may not become pregnant, whether they are using birth control, NFP, or nothing at all.

You should talk to a priest about this. Of course if you should find yourself pregnant, as a Catholic, you are obligated to respect that life, and you can always contact me. I’d be happy to adopt your baby.

You might want to also keep in mind that there are a lot of people on these boards who have recently lost their children, through death as pre-teens or teens, miscarriage, or stillbirth. You may not see your words as hurtful, but to a lot of people like us they really are.

I will keep you in my prayers and hope to see you post here some more.

I am sorry if my wording or phrasing is offensive to others. If I were to get pregnant I would not kill the child. I am not that heartless.

 

[Carjack1]

Are there any other words or phrasing that I should use to communicate? I don’t want to keep making people mad…

So my list is don’t call children…
so called gifts-what do i call them then? I don’t think their gifts but other people are claiming this?
unwanted-this is how i feel
unplanned-that is what it would be
intrusions-exactly what they are

if people who do not want children want them and i don’t, i can’t help that.

People who have a lot of children and will not stop…because it is God’s plan, They are called breeders… What other euphemism should I use?

I am really thinking that maybe this Catholic religion is all wrong for me, if I have to keep myself open to “oopsies”(my children would be oopsies) not anyone elses.

 

[Jennifer_J]

People who have a lot of children and will not stop…because it is God’s plan, They are called breeders… What other euphemism should I use?

I am really thinking that maybe this Catholic religion is all wrong for me, if I have to keep myself open to “oopsies”(my children would be oopsies) not anyone elses.

Breeders is a rude term. I don’t get why you can’t see that…People who have children–a lot or a few are PARENTS. If they accept children as God’s plan for marriage, why should they stop if they don’t have a just reason?

Please GO TO THE CATECHISM and read --PLEASE!! We welcome you to the Catholic faith, but you need to so some real and honest studying about what it means to be Catholic.

 

[sanctamaria17]

I’m very young right now and I work in a baby supply store. The idea of having kids does scare me. I also babysat quite frequently and I freaked out when babies cried.

The thing is, regardless of whether you personally want them or not, you have to see them as gifts from God. If you believe that God made us and that he loves us, then you have to accept that He made children for that reason. They are not burdens, they are blessings.

He also gave us women something special. Intuition. He works at finetuning it when a woman has a child so that she can get to know him/her and figure out his/her needs. Sadly, society tries to take that from us through the medical establishment and through convincing us that our baby needs things he or she doesn’t need or that “experts” (whether for or against AP/breastfeeding/formula/etc) know our kids better than we do.

People have kids because they want to and if one is a surprise, they accept the child out of unconditional love, which is what Catholicism is about, including our attitudes towards children. It’s also what we were built biologically to do. To have sex in a loving, committed marriage, and allowing that love to manifest itself in such a big way that you have to give it a name and give to him/her as Christ gave to you. It’s about trusting God and learning to love as He loved us, which includes giving us life. That’s what marriage is about. It’s supposed to reflect the lifegiving love of the Trinity.

When you say breeding, we think of animals. People are not animals. And people here find it insulting, so it’s disrespectful. Why not refer to them as parents?

 

[LJN21]

Are there any other words or phrasing that I should use to communicate? I don’t want to keep making people mad…

So my list is don’t call children…
so called gifts-what do i call them then? I don’t think their gifts but other people are claiming this?
unwanted-this is how i feel
unplanned-that is what it would be
intrusions-exactly what they are

if people who do not want children want them and i don’t, i can’t help that.

People who have a lot of children and will not stop…because it is God’s plan, They are called breeders… What other euphemism should I use?

I am really thinking that maybe this Catholic religion is all wrong for me, if I have to keep myself open to “oopsies”(my children would be oopsies) not anyone elses.

I’ve been sitting here for a while trying to think of a charitable way reply to this.

People are not animals, we are created in the image and likeness of God. To refer to couples with children as breeders is rude and disgusting.

 

[redtech]

People either TRY or DON’T try. When you are not trying and a oopsie comes along. That would be considred unplanned. Being open to children doesn’t mean to keep pooping out babies as much as one can. That is why Natural Family PLANNING is a type of plan so that one can limit or avoid pregnancy.

I find that very offensive. Did you just come here to stir up trouble???

 

[Carjack1]

Breeders is a rude term. I don’t get why you can’t see that…People who have children–a lot or a few are PARENTS. If they accept children as God’s plan for marriage, why should they stop if they don’t have a just reason?

Please GO TO THE CATECHISM and read --PLEASE!! We welcome you to the Catholic faith, but you need to so some real and honest studying about what it means to be Catholic.

I have to be open. I know what I have to do… I have to force myself to be glad to have children that are suprises(i hope that is a better term). My husband said he will not touch me if I am not on BC. He said he will listen to a doc talk about NFP, but for me not to be upset if he doesn’t agree( I think he is set on saying no) He is athiest so this thing about God doesn’t fly with him and I will not divorce him for anyone.

 

[Carjack1]

I’m very young right now and I work in a baby supply store. The idea of having kids does scare me. I also babysat quite frequently and I freaked out when babies cried.

The thing is, regardless of whether you personally want them or not, you have to see them as gifts from God. If you believe that God made us and that he loves us, then you have to accept that He made children for that reason. They are not burdens, they are blessings.

He also gave us women something special. Intuition. He works at finetuning it when a woman has a child so that she can get to know him/her and figure out his/her needs. Sadly, society tries to take that from us through the medical establishment and through convincing us that our baby needs things he or she doesn’t need or that “experts” (whether for or against AP/breastfeeding/formula/etc) know our kids better than we do.

People have kids because they want to and if one is a surprise, they accept the child out of unconditional love, which is what Catholicism is about, including our attitudes towards children. It’s also what we were built biologically to do. To have sex in a loving, committed marriage, and allowing that love to manifest itself in such a big way that you have to give it a name and give to him/her as Christ gave to you. It’s about trusting God and learning to love as He loved us, which includes giving us life. That’s what marriage is about. It’s supposed to reflect the lifegiving love of the Trinity.

When you say breeding, we think of animals. People are not animals. And people here find it insulting, so it’s disrespectful. Why not refer to them as parents?

Wise words for a young person.

 

[Carjack1]

I’ve been sitting here for a while trying to think of a charitable way reply to this.

People are not animals, we are created in the image and likeness of God. To refer to couples with children as breeders is rude and disgusting.

Sorry.

 

[Carjack1]

I find that very offensive. Sorry Did you just come here to stir up trouble???

No

 

[whatevergirl]

I have been told I view children in a evil way because I feel that a unplanned pregnancy as inconvenient and unwanted . So is the CC supposed to tell me how I feel about children too? Am I supposed to go whippeeee a gift from God. It is a child and if it causes me health and financial strain who cares, because it is a life(even though it would be sucking the one I have out of me) and that is soooooo great. Or does anybody who was a newly wed(I have been married almost 4 months) get annoyed with “when are you gonna have a baby?”. I feel like saying none of your business. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE. Because I take ABC for medical reasons, I was told I am letting my baby die.

I think that once you have a baby, you will feel very differently. Right now, you see a child (unplanned) as a burden. And not knowing, because you have no reference point right now, your thoughts I can’t say, are unwarranted. I think that once you have a baby of your own…you will have a COMPLETELY different outlook on this. It’s hard to hold innocent life, and be angry with it…it’s hard to view a life that through God’s grace, you were the conduit in creating it, and look at it as a burden. You’ll see. If you are taking ABC for medical reasons, that is not considered sinful. I think that once a person crosses over to using ABC as birth control, then it becomes sinful. I think you will find that some day…you will be glowing with joy–even if a pregnancy is unplanned. Raising kids is not easy, but they are truly gifts from God. You will see. Trust me.

 

[Carjack1]

I think that once you have a baby, you will feel very differently. Right now, you see a child (unplanned) as a burden. And not knowing, because you have no reference point right now, your thoughts I can’t say, are unwarranted. I think that once you have a baby of your own…you will have a COMPLETELY different outlook on this. It’s hard to hold innocent life, and be angry with it…it’s hard to view a life that through God’s grace, you were the conduit in creating it, and look at it as a burden. You’ll see. If you are taking ABC for medical reasons, that is not considered sinful. I think that once a person crosses over to using ABC as birth control, then it becomes sinful. I think you will find that some day…you will be glowing with joy–even if a pregnancy is unplanned. Raising kids is not easy, but they are truly gifts from God. You will see. Trust me.

I wish I was as confident as you are.

 

[nice2000]

I have been told I view children in a evil way because I feel that a unplanned pregnancy as inconvenient and unwanted . So is the CC supposed to tell me how I feel about children too? Am I supposed to go whippeeee a gift from God. It is a child and if it causes me health and financial strain who cares, because it is a life(even though it would be sucking the one I have out of me) and that is soooooo great. Or does anybody who was a newly wed(I have been married almost 4 months) get annoyed with “when are you gonna have a baby?”. I feel like saying none of your business. PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE. Because I take ABC for medical reasons, I was told I am letting my baby die.

Someone may have answered this question already.

I’ve only read this 1st post.

What’s ABC?

 

[Jennifer_J]

I have to be open. I know what I have to do… I have to force myself to be glad to have children that are suprises(i hope that is a better term). My husband said he will not touch me if I am not on BC. He said he will listen to a doc talk about NFP, but for me not to be upset if he doesn’t agree( I think he is set on saying no) He is athiest so this thing about God doesn’t fly with him and I will not divorce him for anyone.

For all you know, you won’t be able to have children, or it may be very difficult. I don’t know for what condition you take the Pill, but there are very few things that the pill “treats” no matter what a doctor says (endometriosis is the only one I know of). The Pill covers up whatevers wrong. A good doc would seek the root of you problem and treat that instead of using the pill as a bandaid.

omsoul.com to find a prolife.nfp doc
naprotechnology.com/ is a doc who seeks out those answers for women

nfpandmore.org (online symptothermal method)
creightonmodel.com
ccli.org
boma-usa.org
Prayers for you in your journey

 

[LJN21]

Someone may have answered this question already.

I’ve only read this 1st post.

What’s ABC?

Artificial Birth Control