Difficult Marriages

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I really need to get this off my chest. My husband really upset me today. He has had this addiction with golf for a while now and it drives me crazy. I try to compromise with him (to be a good and understanding wife) to going golfing. But it just seems he is always golfing. He golfs about 2/3 times a week and seems that takes up a lot of his time. Today, he really upset me because he said he didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere(in other words not go out anywhere with us as a family) because he wanted to watch football, but then his friend (golfing friend) calls and invites him to go golfing and he jumps at the opportunity. I am upset because he didn’t want to do anything as family because of football but then jumps at the opportunity to golf. I just feel hurt like he rather spend his time golfing than being with us as a family. When he asked if I would mind if he went golfing I said yes I mind because you golfed all day yesterday (from 7am to 4:30 p.m.) and he got an attitude with me and said we’ll I’m going anyway and left. I am so hurt. I want to cry. Yesterday after he got home from golfing, we had a newphews b-day party to go at 5 pm and he didn’t want to go to that either and didn’t go. I don’t know what to do. It’s like he asks me if I mind if he goes and most of the time I say I am okay with it, but then when I actually say no, he gets mad at me. I feel I devote myself to our marriage and to my daughter but he is lacking in spending time with us because prefers golfing. That is so hurtful. It’s almost as if I am a single mother with dinner, homework, taking daughter here and there and cleaning and so forth. He doesn’t understand. I cannot believe he left even though I said I was not okay with him going. I feel disrespected. I am so sad. I am so upset with him. I would never leave if he told me he didn’t want me to. What do I do? Or am I overreacting? Please pray for him. I needed to vent. Thank you for hearing me out.

By the way, today I started the Holy Spirit Novena. So day 1 for me.

God bless you.
 
Cagrl, I wonder, have you tried a family “date night” or outing day when you ALL set everything else aside and do a family activity? That might allow him to save face since he wouldn’t be the only one “required” to get off the couch and go.

My dad golfs 3x weekly but he’s retired! I can’t imagine having time for a job, three rounds of golf, and a family all in one week. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all, but maybe approaching it a different way with him will get better results.
 
Cagrl said:
I really need to get this off my chest. My husband really upset me today. He has had this addiction with golf for a while now and it drives me crazy. I try to compromise with him (to be a good and understanding wife) to going golfing. But it just seems he is always golfing. He golfs about 2/3 times a week and seems that takes up a lot of his time. Today, he really upset me because he said he didn’t want to do anything or go anywhere(in other words not go out anywhere with us as a family) because he wanted to watch football, but then his friend (golfing friend) calls and invites him to go golfing and he jumps at the opportunity. I am upset because he didn’t want to do anything as family because of football but then jumps at the opportunity to golf. I just feel hurt like he rather spend his time golfing than being with us as a family. When he asked if I would mind if he went golfing I said yes I mind because you golfed all day yesterday (from 7am to 4:30 p.m.) and he got an attitude with me and said we’ll I’m going anyway and left. I am so hurt. I want to cry. Yesterday after he got home from golfing, we had a newphews b-day party to go at 5 pm and he didn’t want to go to that either and didn’t go. I don’t know what to do. It’s like he asks me if I mind if he goes and most of the time I say I am okay with it, but then when I actually say no, he gets mad at me. I feel I devote myself to our marriage and to my daughter but he is lacking in spending time with us because prefers golfing. That is so hurtful. It’s almost as if I am a single mother with dinner, homework, taking daughter here and there and cleaning and so forth. He doesn’t understand. I cannot believe he left even though I said I was not okay with him going. I feel disrespected. I am so sad. I am so upset with him. I would never leave if he told me he didn’t want me to. What do I do? Or am I overreacting? Please pray for him. I needed to vent. Thank you for hearing me out.

By the way, today I started the Holy Spirit Novena. So day 1 for me.

God bless you.
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You are not overreacting at all. I think it is unreasonable of him to think he can do this but unfortunately it is OH SO FAMILIAR…
It is a very common thing with women I know, that their husbands do this. (and sometimes it has been the same with my husband)They think they have the right to do as they please with no regard to their family or wife.
I do not know of anything that has worked to get men to see that their families come first. I have a friend and her husband is addicted to fishing. He goes EVERY weekend and every day off. Every chance he gets. She has stopped fighting it and just hopes that one day he realises how selfish he is being.
I am sorry, I have nothing helpful to add or any comfort to give, but just know this is such a common problem. You are not alone.
Keep praying for him
 
Thank you for you support. I really appreciate you being there for me. I will continue to pray for my husband. I feel he is being selfish. I will pray.

Today is day 2 of the Holy Spirit Novena.
 
just finished praying day 2 of the Holy Spirit novena. The prayers are really beautiful and inspiring!
 
Also on day 3. And I also agree they are very beautiful!!! 🙂

Have a great day filled with God’s love and blessings! :angel1:
 
Working on the 4th Day of Holy Spirit Novena today. 👍

Hope you all are doing well!!! 😉
 
Hello everyone.

I finished the Holy Family Novena.

Went through a real hard time with my wife recently.

I think we cleared things up a bit in our last two counseling sessions.

It just seems that the pain is so slow to fade.😦
 
iamrefreshed said:
Hello everyone.

I finished the Holy Family Novena.

Went through a real hard time with my wife recently.

I think we cleared things up a bit in our last two counseling sessions.

It just seems that the pain is so slow to fade.😦
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I know things can get really tough, but hang in there. Don’t lose hope and continue to pray for your marriage. We are all here for you. We are praying for you too. Our Lord will hear your prayers. I think it’s awesome how you are looking for God’s guidance in your marriage. He is there for you, and he loves both you and your wife very much. Keep faith and hope.
 
iamrefreshed said:
Hello everyone.

I finished the Holy Family Novena.

Went through a real hard time with my wife recently.

I think we cleared things up a bit in our last two counseling sessions.

It just seems that the pain is so slow to fade.😦
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I’m sorry to hear that its been hard for you. We’re still praying!
 
I will keep you all in my prayers…

Please do the same for me. My wife of almost 10 years lied to me when taking a position overseas for 3 years. It was our plan that I was going to move in a year after I took care of a few things. A month after getting there—she told me she was divorcing me and that I was forbidden from seeing her. It is 6 months later and I now have paperwork.

I am a strong Catholic and know that our marriage was valid and we knew what we were doing at the time we were married. I know that I must honor her all the days of my life as my wife…thus losing all hope of another wife and children in the future.

I am having a really tough time coming to terms with this reality. I know for a fact that my wife and I are good together, that we would have been very happy in the future…but she can’t figure out a way to fix the things we were having problems with before she left.

PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR US.
 
themait said:
I will keep you all in my prayers…

Please do the same for me. My wife of almost 10 years lied to me when taking a position overseas for 3 years. It was our plan that I was going to move in a year after I took care of a few things. A month after getting there—she told me she was divorcing me and that I was forbidden from seeing her. It is 6 months later and I now have paperwork.

I am a strong Catholic and know that our marriage was valid and we knew what we were doing at the time we were married. I know that I must honor her all the days of my life as my wife…thus losing all hope of another wife and children in the future.

I am having a really tough time coming to terms with this reality. I know for a fact that my wife and I are good together, that we would have been very happy in the future…but she can’t figure out a way to fix the things we were having problems with before she left.

PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR US.
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I am SO VERY sorry for what you are going through. It is so very sad and scary to hear what happens to marriages. It just breaks my heart.
I will pray for you…

May our Lord open her eyes to what she is doing. May our Lord touch her heart to come back home to you.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of death. Amen.
 
Along with all the helpful hints here , may all couples get the joy of celebrating marriage in its sweetness , with the addition of that 26th ( 13x2) Book - Song of Solomon …

and even chuckle a little, how God ’ makes all things new ’ - here is a Book attributed to King Solomon, child of King David and Bathsheba , whose own down fall were women …and yet, whose love songs can be used to heal broken hearts …the pain of those spoken and unspoken words …with the Sword of The Spirit - The Word of God …

that all wives would hear , again and again …’ my dove , my perfect one , is the only one , the darling of her mother…’ and why not - in the company of our Bl. Mother ( who has a special relationship with 13 , as in the Book of Esther …and power against evil ) and as adorned with Merits , from a Merciful Father …

to echo in the ears of her beloved - ’ I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine…’

Till that day - when we would be all like angels …
 
Please pray fro me. My wife has been depressed for most of our marraige, and has recently become mentaly unstable. I am at my wits end. Tonight over a stupid argument that she started she threatend to leave me and take my two small (6 & 8) children with her.

I am enraged and scared at the same time. It is like walking around a time bomb waiting for her to go off. I am tired of it. She has stopped taking her meds and has said that she will not attend anymore counseling sessions. What am I to do???

I see in my head my childrens faces and the fright she has caused them this eveing. I hear thear cries of panic in my ears…it is like a bad dream…I just want to wake up…

Pleas e pray that God will touch her and give her peace…
 
themait said:
I will keep you all in my prayers…

Please do the same for me. My wife of almost 10 years lied to me when taking a position overseas for 3 years. It was our plan that I was going to move in a year after I took care of a few things. A month after getting there—she told me she was divorcing me and that I was forbidden from seeing her. It is 6 months later and I now have paperwork.

I am a strong Catholic and know that our marriage was valid and we knew what we were doing at the time we were married. I know that I must honor her all the days of my life as my wife…thus losing all hope of another wife and children in the future.

I am having a really tough time coming to terms with this reality. I know for a fact that my wife and I are good together, that we would have been very happy in the future…but she can’t figure out a way to fix the things we were having problems with before she left.

PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR US.
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Sorry to hear this and I will pray for your marriage and that your wife will see what she is giving up on. I pray for the Holy Spirit to touch her heart and soul.
 
Gospel said:
Please pray fro me. My wife has been depressed for most of our marraige, and has recently become mentaly unstable. I am at my wits end. Tonight over a stupid argument that she started she threatend to leave me and take my two small (6 & 8) children with her.

I am enraged and scared at the same time. It is like walking around a time bomb waiting for her to go off. I am tired of it. She has stopped taking her meds and has said that she will not attend anymore counseling sessions. What am I to do???

I see in my head my childrens faces and the fright she has caused them this eveing. I hear thear cries of panic in my ears…it is like a bad dream…I just want to wake up…

Pleas e pray that God will touch her and give her peace…
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Mental illness is a tough one in a marriage. My husband also suffers from something and the doctors can’t agree on what, but he is on medication and has been so much better since on it. I think I would have had to divorce him if he did not get on it or my sanity would have been lost. I understand a little of what you are going through. I don’t think you can force her to take her medications and that is what she needs, but you do have to protect your children. If she goes up and go with the kids, you have to be ready to get custody immediately for the sake of the kids and this might be the reality dose your wife needs to take her medications. If you have proof from counselors of her state of mind, you could get custody immediately, but you will have to move fast. You may want to call her counselor and let them know that she doesn’t want to take her medication or go see them. This documentation could help you later, but speak with her counselor and not the secretaries. Of course, I will pray that it does not come to that and that your wife will decide to take her meds and go see her counselor.

I use to walk on eggshells with my husband not knowing what will set him off and it was a terrible feeling. I will pray also for you and that the Lord will continue to give you the grace and strength you need.
 
Gospel said:
Please pray fro me. My wife has been depressed for most of our marraige, and has recently become mentaly unstable. I am at my wits end. Tonight over a stupid argument that she started she threatend to leave me and take my two small (6 & 8) children with her.

I am enraged and scared at the same time. It is like walking around a time bomb waiting for her to go off. I am tired of it. She has stopped taking her meds and has said that she will not attend anymore counseling sessions. What am I to do???

I see in my head my childrens faces and the fright she has caused them this eveing. I hear thear cries of panic in my ears…it is like a bad dream…I just want to wake up…

Pleas e pray that God will touch her and give her peace…
Click to expand...
Praying for you, your wife and your children to the Holy Family. Praying to St. Dymphna for your wife.

May God bless and protect all of you. May His peace reign in your home. Amen
 
I would love to join this novena. I know there is strength in numbers when you pray. 👍
 
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