Disagreement on Makeup/Decorum

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Lara said:
Try to be a nurturer. Leave your feminism behind. It leads nowhere fun.
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This is exactly what the issue is that many people have. Some women are better at different things. That’s not “feminism” to recognize that sometimes the “roles” reverse. My friend is a TERRIFIC SAHD. His wife loves working. My friend is a male, his wife is genuinely feminine. But he is way better at handling the day to day “nurture” kid stuff and she enjoys knowing she provides monetarily.

If feminism got some things right. Allowing my friend and his wife to make the choices that work for them and their family respects their dignity.
 
gcshapero said:
UPDATE: I did get a text from her (I’m currently at work – ha, I should be on here less actually) and she highlighted that she wants to make sure we discuss this further so that we can know how to support each other the right way. She further went on to say that if our daughter were to want to wear makeup (within reason and at an appropriate age) she wouldn’t make this a hot button issue.

This is certainly a good start.
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Very good news. Maybe table this then for the moment and focus on why she was so passionate and how you can come to conclusions in a better way.
 
I recently read a bit again on my favourite saint, saint olga of kiev. In one of the miraculous storys beside her hagiography I found the small comment that she brought make up to the kievan rus so the women modestly covered their face with it.
I had to smile very bright.
Dear OP, I will in no way seem to not take your issue serious, and I think you got a bunch of very good responses. Just wanted to share this little story 😉
 
I am quite big on skin care and Korean skin care products are my indulgence.

Good skin care makes makeup 💄 optional.

Good health is the foundation of beauty.
 
Lara said:
Feminists give love in very measured ways.
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That’s not specific to feminists.
Lara said:
They will drop you in a heart beat if they think you’re off the mark.
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Nope. Not just feminists.
Lara said:
Use a politically incorrect phrase like, “she’s learning disabled” and you can be prepared for a lecture on how the person is first, and how the disability second.
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I’ve literally never gotten a lecture and I doubt it was a lecture, but I can understand if you were uncomfortable as being corrected can be uncomfortable. That’s why being an intersectional feminism is helpful; Things like this are always being considered. It’s about respect. We don’t call people retards for a reason so maybe "she’s learning disabled should be discarded, too. I can also think that a few sticklers for grammar are twitching reading that phrase.
Lara said:
They want you to do all the changing as they continue on in their selfish ways,
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Mmm. Nope. Some ways are selfish, abortion is the only one I can think of right now, but anyone with a different ideology from yours wants you to change.
Lara said:
being triggered by everything under the sun.
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Help me out here. Tell me what triggered means to you. You see, I see triggered thrown around a lot and the majority are using it incorrectly. Conservative types used it incorrectly as a slur toward liberals, and now liberal types are using it as a slur against conservative. The word is useful and I don’t think we will use one that is so spot on for what it is. Using it the way you did robs it of its usefulness. No one should be ashamed of being triggerered or saying they are.
Lara said:
A simple statement like “A husband has to sacrifice his welfare for the sake of the family” can provide fodder for feminists for hours.
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I don’t see how. :confused:
Lara said:
Just accept that men are sacrificial creatures.
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Um, have you noticed the posts from MRA/MGTOW/incel types on this forum? Not self-sacrificing.
Lara said:
They are like the drones around a queen bee.
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Maybe someone of the male persuasion will comment on that.
 
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What comes to mind when you hear the word nurturing?

My mother was one of the most nurturing people I know yet she was not all soft and sweet.

She was more like a military drill instructor. However the well being of her family was her first priority. I call this nurturing.
 
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gcshapero said:
UPDATE: I did get a text from her (I’m currently at work – ha, I should be on here less actually) and she highlighted that she wants to make sure we discuss this further so that we can know how to support each other the right way. She further went on to say that if our daughter were to want to wear makeup (within reason and at an appropriate age) she wouldn’t make this a hot button issue.

This is certainly a good start.
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That’s good. Perhaps she just needed a little time away from the conversation to think things over. It’s a good sign to see that she might not be as legalistic or rigid as it first appeared.
 
Sarcelle said:
I am quite big on skin care and Korean skin care products are my indulgence.
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This is one of the reasons I miss South Korea. It was awesome having Tony Moly, Holika Holika, Skinfood, Nature Republic, The Face Shop…all of that right downtown.

Oh it was glorious. 🙂
 
Would say it’s the general idea that one cares/protect for another. And you would see that even men are technically nurturing creatures too. When I said I wasn’t just now, I was referring to a more stereotypically feminine trait. Based on my experience with young children, I would be a military drill instructor too. Most Asians would be 😂

I never get the point of labeling personality traits as feminine or masculine. Imagine a parent running to an injured child. If it was a father, he would be branded as the masculine Protector. If it was a mother, the very same action would lead her to be the feminine Nurturer.
 
The fact that you immediately branded me as a feminist because I acknowledged that women are very different from each other kind of sums up my point tbh. Sorry, but I’m not going to force myself to be a certain way just because you are not having fun in this conversation.
 
gcshapero said:
She’s very well educated in the faith, but this one confused me because it almost seemed like her understanding of the value of the doctors of the Church and how the Church endorses their conclusions went out the window.
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Yeah, that was what jumped out for me too. And also, even if he didn’t say anything…

The Church would have definitely said something if wearing makeup is intrinsically a sin. I’m pretty sure they won’t hold that back from us. Also, we live in a culture where makeup is extremely normal and not cause for scandal. Makeup is not even seen as deceiving on those who wear layers of it (most of the time, these women pile it on because they enjoy the art of it, given the recent makeup trends).

Anyway, at least she’s willing to talk to you about it. All the bestt
 
She might if she knows you frequent this site even infrequently…
 
Irishmom2 said:
She might if she knows you frequent this site even infrequently…
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I thought you were joking. I don’t think I mentioned that I go on forums of any sort. I’m not necessarily concerned whether she’s on here or not.

Anyway, if I didn’t mean the good qualities that I mentioned, I wouldn’t waste my time with her, nor would I want her to waste her time.
 
Just be you.

Don’t let anyone pressure you to conform to some stereotype

At the end of day you are what you are.
 
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