the question isnt a subjective one-- whether a person would “rather” have great sex, mundane sex, lotsa sex, less sex.
the question, violet, is whether your premise is correct and whether your further assertions are correct.
they are not correct.
in reading Humanae Vitae, there is absolutely zero mention of the expectaation of daily intercourse. in fact, the opposite is implied strongly. read:
10… **With regard to man’s innate drives and emotions, responsible parenthood means that man’s reason and will must exert control over them. **With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time.
- Men rightly observe that a conjugal act imposed on one’s partner without regard to his or her condition or personal and reasonable wishes in the matter, is no true act of love, and therefore offends the moral order in its particular application to the intimate relationship of husband and wife.
21….For if with the aid of reason and of free will they are to control their natural drives, there can be no doubt at all of the need for self-denial. Only then will the expression of love, essential to married life, conform to right order. This is especially clear in the practice of periodic continence. Self-discipline of this kind is a shining witness to the chastity of husband and wife and, far from being a hindrance to their love of one another, transforms it by giving it a more truly human character. And if this self-discipline does demand that they persevere in their purpose and efforts, it has at the same time the salutary effect of enabling husband and wife to develop to their personalities and to be enriched with spiritual blessings. For it brings to family life abundant fruits of tranquility and peace. It helps in solving difficulties of other kinds. It fosters in husband and wife thoughtfulness and loving consideration for one another. It helps them to repel inordinate self-love, which is the opposite of charity. It arouses in them a consciousness of their responsibilities. And finally, it confers upon parents a deeper and more effective influence in the education of their children. As their children grow up, they develop a right sense of values and achieve a serene and harmonious use of their mental and physical powers.
furthermore, there is absolutely NO mention anywhere that the husband has the final say in whether or not to have more children.
that’s NO mention, NO insinuation,NO implication anywhere in either Humanae Vitae nor in the catechism. in fact, the directive is always for the “couple” to prayerfully discern. if the couple is not of like mind, they are not to defer to one spouse (in your assertion the husband) instead, they are to continue to pray until they are like-minded and discern in unity.
subjectively: i love my husband. our marital embrace is awesome. we have 10 kids. we are happy together, best friends and deepest confidants. he is my vocation. i am his. in light of that, i am NEVER worried that he feels rejceted if i tell him my ‘availablility’ and he is NEVER worried when he tells me his (or lack of it). in fact, we are much more concerned that neither of us feel pressured by the other’s potential ardor. subjectively, i deeply appreciate his gift of self, and he mine. but we never want to take advantage of ach other’s free and full gift.
we confidently, and without self-pity or unnecessary sense of rejection, WAIT for the other to be ready.
we WAIT because we love each other. THAT (according to Pope Paul VI’s Humanae Vitae) is a greater gift of self.
and to address the assertion that unity, not pleasure is intended, the catechism says this:
Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment.
violet, let the mind of the Church direct your thinking on this. there is NO reason to try and outdo the Church on moral teaching.
At least I can say it worth it. Lol.
every month we must question whether or not we are ready for another child emotionally, financially etc. I find this keeps us very intune with eachother. and the self control we must use if we are abstaining actually makes our appetite for eachother grow stronger…if we abstain 7-10 days or whatever it may be for that cycle, by the 11th day when I can have my hubby again it can be explosive physically and/or emotionally for both of us.Id take that over a mundane 7 days a week any day. Its a beautiful thing. 
