Divorce due to Alcoholic Husband

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Actually, the blame concept came from the OP herself originally. She said that she’s been to al-anon meetings before and felt that she was being blamed for her husband’s addiction. The initial response to that concern was akin to “Well, the truth hurts.” Maybe she’s “misinterpreting”, but her experience is consistent with the complaints of many other people who have attempted that program. When I raised concern about the same issue, I got an extremely far-reaching accusation of enabling, based on one potion of a statement I made and ignoring the rest of the context, which confirms that to at least that one poster, it IS about finding blame, even where none actually exists. You can continue to deny that this is a problem with the way the program is used, but the OP has to deal with the meeting that is available to her and determine if it is actually helpful.
 
That brought a tear to my eye. I’ve been praying for you and for your family.

This is a set of meditations I pray for the people who are fighting this fight:

http://www.realliferosary.com/addiction.html

I’ve bought this book for a dear friend and pray it myself for all who struggle:

www.sobercatholic.com

The Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics

The “Stations of the Cross for Alcoholics” is a book that is rooted in an ancient Catholic devotion. It is intended to assist Catholics and other Christians find deeper meaning in their…
www.sobercatholic.com

Our Diocese has a chapter of the Calix Society, they are a blessing for many people.
 
Good article. Note that it does not say anything about getting the bishop’s permission before separating.
 
Nope. That talks about him determining whether the separation can continue if it’s orig reason has ceased. It doesn’t say anything about getting permission to initiate the separation.
 
Julian, did I say somewhere the Bishop needs to approve before separation?

No. A prolonged separation and especially civil divorce.
 
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Look, I know you really want bishops to engage with this. But the reality is that they don’t. And they don’t expect couples to wait for the Church to decide if a separation is valid. The canon makes provision for divorce if that’s what’s required for safety or financial necessity for children. In many places, one has to file for divorce to get child support —the bishop simply doesn’t get involved.

The reality is that you get pastoral counseling from your pastor (and no, you don’t get to force joint conversation) and the Church weighs in on the validity of your marriage if you file for a decree of nullity.

Maybe it should be different. But it’s not. And unless we get a LOT more bishops, they just don’t have the bandwidth to deal with this.
 
Doesnt matter what I want. Every Catholic is obligated to respect canon law, including clergy.

You are, by no means, permitted to dispense canon law, as much as you wish.

Goodbye Julian
 
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Many theologians disagree that this canon applies to non-concordat nations.
And no bishops engage with it —it’s not a question of dispensing with canon law; it’s just not interpreted by bishops the way you’d like them to.
 
Here is a thorough study regarding the issue… please read.

http://marysadvocates.org/research/...ntervention_before_Party_files_in_Civil_Forum
Many theologians disagree that this canon applies to non-concordat nations.
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No, actually it’s the other way around:

“[Canon 1152 §2] does not state that for such an action [filing in civil court] the innocent spouse needs the prior permission of the competent ecclesiastical authority. However, the requirement becomes clear from Canon 1692 §2 [. . . ] This canon speaks about the granting of permission as a particular administrative act issued by a competent executive authority. It means that such a permission is needed for each case. That diocesan bishop has no power to grant a general permission that all separation cases in his diocese will be decided in the civil court. This would be contrary to the provision laid down and Cannon 87 §1 which states that the Diocesan Bishop cannot dispense from procedural laws, that is, laws ‘established to safeguard Justice and protect the rights of the faithful.’ [. . . ] However there is no need for granting permission in those countries where the supreme authority of the church has decided to by the way of Concordat that cases of separation will be handled by civil court” (Pages 258-259).
 
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Believe me, I’ve read a lot from that source. I’m not going there again.

I understand her interpretation of the canon – and yours. I understand you’d like to force bishops to engage with this. But that is not what our current reality is. And therefore, one cannot expect couples to refrain from proceeding with civil action, if required, while waiting for a bishop to rule on something about which he’s not going to rule.

For example, in my state, a woman who leaves an abusive husband is not going to receive any child support until she files for civil divorce. My own children would have starved if I’d needed to wait for a bishop to weigh in about whether or not I was allowed to file.

It’s fine to let bishops know you want this to change. It’s not fine, however, to suggest to lay people that they are required to wait for him to do so – since that isn’t likely to happen.
 
I dont believe a pastor and his Bishop will allow children to starve to death.

What would happen, while remaining faithful to this law, is the abused spouse approaches the pastor and presents the situation. He immediately contacts the abuser to meet and give an account for his behavior, confirm the separation, make sure support of children is respected, and if NOT, then pursue with emergency action with Bishop.

The Bishop is then able to delegate his authorization to the pastor if necessary.

This law does not need to be abused because some situations might require quick attention.
 
JulianN is correct. It’s fine to let them know you want them to uphold the Canon, but you should not hold lay people to something to which may never happen.

Also, what of those that are already divorced and didn’t do the above?
 
lonegreywolf20 said:
JulianN is correct. It’s fine to let them know you want them to uphold the Canon, but you should not hold lay people to something to which may never happen.
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It’s not my opinion that Catholics respect Church law. We all (clergy and laity) have the duty to uphold. We should not follow or not follow based on how we think the outcome will be.
Also, what of those that are already divorced and didn’t do the above?
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You could ask that about any law not respected. Confess, would be appropriate.
 
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rcwitness said:
It’s not my opinion that Catholics respect Church law. We all (clergy and laity) have the duty to uphold. We should not follow or not follow based on how we think the outcome will be.
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And when the Bishop doesn’t respond then what?
 
Yes. What then? If you’re saying that someone cannot separate or divorce until the bishop says go ahead and no one is getting a response, then what?
 
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