Divorce

[PRmerger]

Sometimes when someone sins, an innocent suffers. If someone hacks my arm off, it may seem “unfair”, but I have to go through the rest of my life missing an arm.

If my validly-married spouse abandons me (through divorce or adultery or what-have-you), it may seem “unfair”, but I have to go through the rest of my life alone.

I was Protestant when I married, but even then I understand there could be no remarriage after a divorce. I knew perfectly well that if my husband cheated on me, I would either have to find some way to reconcile or else live alone.

I was 22. It is perfectly possible not to “completely grasp” what marriage will be like but still to know what it is.

It is not the Church who is at fault here. It is the adulterous spouse. It is the adulterous spouse who is forcing the innocent to live alone and lonely. And once the innocent spouse “remarries”, then he is in the same boat; he, too, is committing adultery.

Well articulated!

 

[muffindell]

So where did the ‘church’ get it’s information about God and Jesus if not from the bible(collective accounts of the apostles)?

 

[joanofarc2008]

I’m sorry that I’ve caused so much anger, it was not my intent. I still attend mass at my local church, the priest blesses me instead of having commuinion. I feel hurt that I am a marked man within the RC church. My wife is Church of England and we also attend service there. My daughter from this marriage was baptised a RC, we will equally teach her the ways of a Christian. My ex-wife remarried and divorced again a few years later, she been with several partners since then.
It’s interesting to note that you get married in front of god and no one can undo that, yet canon law can find a way to see it unvalid; in effect they must have a direct line to God.
Since I was married the second time in a C of E church and the RC church does not accept it’s existence or at least the validity of it then I suppose I’m not married again in the eyes of God, just civilly, so does this mean I can actual take Holy Communion after all?
Jesus taught for the day, using language applicable to 2000 years ago, I wonder how things would look now and what language he would use. I somehow think things would be different.
It’s obvious from some of the comments on this subject that there is a great deal of passion for the subject. I wonder how many of you that that are critical of my actions actually live exactly by the teaching of the RC church, I doubt that you do, that is because God knows that will try to follow the teaching of his son, Jesus, but also knows from time to time we will not get it right. On those occasions he will forgive us and help us see the correct path again. I can’t see why this can’t be applied to my situation, but then again I expect to be told otherwise.

You can live as brother and sister. But right now you objectively however one recognizes or does not recognize the marriage are married to two women. Therein lies the problem. It is not that the Church does not want to forgive you or has you as a “marked man” it is just there are certain steps you must take or accept at this point. You need to speak to your priest first and foremost. I would suggest getting in touch with one of the Anglican Ordinate that has come over to the Catholic Church - they will be much more read up on how to handle these particular situations. As long as you are living as brother and sister you can receive Eucharist. We have people in our group doing that now. You can also appeal the decision.

 

[joanofarc2008]

Just one more question, where in the bible does it say that I can’t receive Holy Communion?

1 Corinthians 10 is the warning against receiving unworthily. I am sorry this is a very difficult matter. I am trying to give you answers on how to resolve it so you can receive Eucharist. BTW- the Church of England split over this matter mainly over Martin Luther’s teachings that marriage was not a Sacrament and should be handled by the state. So to quote the CofE on this matter is to miss the point of the Sacrament altogether.

 

[muffindell]

Sorry, but werent the Corinthians non Christians until Paul spent 18 months trying to convert them some 20 years after Christ was crucified?

 

[joanofarc2008]

Sorry, but werent the Corinthians non Christians until Paul spent 18 months trying to convert them some 20 years after Christ was crucified?

Yes and no. Yes, because the original message of Christ was heard from the Apostles and not from Christ as this was a gentile community that Christ had not preached to. This was part of the post-Pentecost evangelization that occurred as part of the early Church. No, because much of Corinthians is part of Paul addressing issues that are happening in the community after he leaves and the community starts to have problems maintaining it’s Christian identitiy.

Explanation of the Epistles of Corinthians

 

[ricofall]

I don’t believe most of you know God, but you know the Cathechism.

How did a person running for office of the presidency become a Catholic in 2008?

Where do you think David is now, he was a murderer and an adultress?

What about people who cheat on their spouses, go to confession and then receive communion.

Do people not get a second chance in life?

there seem to be several posters who just love to condem other humans and put them in the ground, stomp on them and tell them how horrible they are.

How did a person running for office of the presidency become a Catholic in 2008?
He went through RCIA. No sure what this has to do with anything.

Where do you think David is now, he was a murderer and an adultress?
His sins were forgiven, but he was punished still. Read 2 Samuel, Chapter 12

What about people who cheat on their spouses, go to confession and then receive communion. What about them? I suggest you read Mathew 7 1-5. Are you are judging people whose situation you do not know? When you think about it, if they go to confession, at least they know what they did is a sin. We can only pray that they repent and sin no more.
Do people not get a second chance in life? Yes, you get as many chances are you ask for and truly want. But that does not mean there are no effects from your sins or even from someone else’s sins.

 

[Luvtosew]

How did a person running for office of the presidency become a Catholic in 2008?
He went through RCIA. No sure what this has to do with anything.

Where do you think David is now, he was a murderer and an adultress?
His sins were forgiven, but he was punished still. Read 2 Samuel, Chapter 12

What about people who cheat on their spouses, go to confession and then receive communion. What about them? I suggest you read Mathew 7 1-5. Are you are judging people whose situation you do not know? When you think about it, if they go to confession, at least they know what they did is a sin. We can only pray that they repent and sin no more.
Do people not get a second chance in life? Yes, you get as many chances are you ask for and truly want. But that does not mean there are no effects from your sins or even from someone else’s sins.

I just can’t talk to yous anymore, God Bless You all.

 

[muffindell]

I seem to remember that asking forgiveness in confession did mean that ALL your sins were forgiven, this obviously doesnt apply to someone who is divorced.

 

[ricofall]

I will pray for you all, not too sure I want to belong to a Church that has so many perfect, righeous people in it.

Not sure where you got this from? Did anyone say they were perfect or righteous?

 

[muffindell]

Just one more question, where in the bible does it say that I can’t receive Holy Communion?

I guess no mortal can truely answer this one!

 

[Luvtosew]

I seem to remember that asking forgiveness in confession did mean that ALL your sins were forgiven, this obviously doesnt apply to someone who is divorced.

Apparently not, its a pick and choose thing, up to the Priests. No problem letting a former Baptist in that had affairs with his first two wifes (divorced them both) and is now married to the women that had an affair with him while married. (no I"m not judgeing him, just stating facts)

but not to allow a repenting Catholic forgiveness, is beyond me.

 

[Luvtosew]

How did a person running for office of the presidency become a Catholic in 2008?
He went through RCIA. No sure what this has to do with anything.

Where do you think David is now, he was a murderer and an adultress?
His sins were forgiven, but he was punished still. Read 2 Samuel, Chapter 12

What about people who cheat on their spouses, go to confession and then receive communion. What about them? I suggest you read Mathew 7 1-5. Are you are judging people whose situation you do not know? When you think about it, if they go to confession, at least they know what they did is a sin. We can only pray that they repent and sin no more.
Do people not get a second chance in life? Yes, you get as many chances are you ask for and truly want. But that does not mean there are no effects from your sins or even from someone else’s sins.

I see your a teacher, must be where you got the red writing from, I’m not your student!

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

I seem to remember that asking forgiveness in confession did mean that ALL your sins were forgiven, this obviously doesnt apply to someone who is divorced.

when you confess a sin, you must have the intention to not commit the sin anymore.

If someone is divorced and remarried (the sin of adultery because marriage is permanent, and one must remain faithful to their spouse UNTIL death) how can they be sorry for a sin that they have no intention in stopping?

Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign. Contracting a new union, even if it is recognized by civil law, adds to the gravity of the rupture: the remarried spouse is then in a situation of public and permanent adultery:

If a husband, separated from his wife, approaches another woman, he is an adulterer because he makes that woman commit adultery, and the woman who lives with him is an adulteress, because she has drawn another’s husband to herself.178
2385 Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society.

2386 It can happen that one of the spouses is the innocent victim of a divorce decreed by civil law; this spouse therefore has not contravened the moral law. There is a considerable difference between a spouse who has sincerely tried to be faithful to the sacrament of marriage and is unjustly abandoned, and one who through his own grave fault destroys a canonically valid marriage.179

1649 Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. In such cases the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, the best solution would be, if possible, reconciliation. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.159

1650 Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery"160 the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence.

1651 Toward Christians who live in this situation, and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:

They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God’s grace.161

 

[Luvtosew]

how can they be sorry for a sin that they have no intention in stopping?

then why is a vasectomy forgivable?

 

[joanofarc2008]

I seem to remember that asking forgiveness in confession did mean that ALL your sins were forgiven, this obviously doesnt apply to someone who is divorced.

It can if the person has the intent to sin no more. This is why living as brother and sister is an option.

 

[aicirt]

I seem to remember that asking forgiveness in confession did mean that ALL your sins were forgiven, this obviously doesnt apply to someone who is divorced.

Being divorced isn’t a sin. It is remarrying without an annulment that’s the problem.

 

[Luvtosew]

**This is why living as brother and sister is an option. **

isn’t that like living a lie, when the two people have feelings for each other as a man and women. like we all know God knows the heart, and he knows the feelings one has for the other.

is lying a lesser sin?

 

[ricofall]

I see your a teacher, must be where you got the red writing from, I’m not your student!

For the record, we are all teachers and all students. Sometimes, even at the same time. However, you stated in your post #108 that you will not talk to me anymore. Then in #114, you replied to me again. You are welcome to refute me all you want. That is why we are here, to learn, grow, and teach our faith.

 

[muffindell]

Mary Gail, I assume you are sighting canon law. Canon law is man made, it did not come from the God or more to the point Jesus; unless that is you can prove me wrong?