Are we permitted to smile? Are we permitted to love our families? Are we permitted to enjoy anything? If not, why did God create a sensate body for us?
Now now, don’t go too far.
Being sorrowful and taking pains are not exclusive with joy and happiness. We are human beings, we have several different emotions going on at once normally, and for a healthy life we tend to not have one or the other of any emotion 24/7.
Day, night, seasons, there’s a time for everything. We must love everything for God’s sake, that however is true, and the spiritual goal, so our love of our family should be because of Him. And so too our enjoyments, the goal is, God in all, all in all.
As for individually who is in Hell, there have been plenty of traditional beliefs about who is there. I believe in some cases is it quite settled about some individuals, because of the weight of constant testimony – when the Fathers agree, or it is always believed always and everwhere, that does it. Judas is one example. Cain, I believe another, and many of the people who were punished by God in the Old Testament for mortal sins with death. The bad thief, rather than the good thief.
And so on.
For example, in this year of the priest, the Patron Saint of Parish priests, model for them all, says:
‘No, indeed; if sinners were to think of eternity – of that terrible FOR EVER! – They would be converted instantly. Cain has been in Hell nearly six thousand years, and he is only just entering it.’
‘Take a house that has been for a long time very dirty and neglected – it is in vain to sweep it out, there will always be a nasty smell. It is the same with our soul after confession; it requires tears to purify it. My children, we must ask earnestly for repentance. After confession, we must plant a thorn in our heart, and never lose sight of our sins. We must do as the angel did to St. Francis of Assisi; he fixed in him five darts, which never came out again.’
‘Nothing is so beautiful as a pure soul. If we understood this, we could not lose our purity. The pure soul is disengaged from matter, from earthly things, and from itself. . . That is why the saints ill-treated their body, that is why they did not grant it what it required, not even to rise five minutes later, to warm themselves, to eat anything that gave them pleasure. . .’
‘Purgatory is in those souls that are not dead to themselves; Hell is in the heart of the impious; Paradise in that of the perfect, who are closely united to Our Lord.’
St. Jean Marie Baptiste Vianney, the Cure of Ars
And St. John Cassian, the writer for all monks:
'Thus it is clear that our whole fight is against the passions within. Once these have been extirpated from our heart by the grace and help of God, we will readily be able to live not simply with other men, but even with wild beasts, Job confirms this when he says: ‘And the beasts of the field shall be at peace with you’ (Job 5:23). But first we must struggle with the demon of dejection who casts the soul into despair. We must drive him from our heart. It was this demon that did not allow Cain to repent after he had killed his brother, or Judas after he had betrayed his Master. The only form of dejection we should cultivate is the sorrow which goes with repentance for sin and is accompanied by hope in God. It was of this form of dejection that the Apostle said: ‘Godly sorrow produces a saving repentance which is not to be repented of (2 Cor. 7:10). This ‘godly sorrow’ nourishes the soul through the hope engendered by repentance, and it is mingled with joy. That is why it makes us obedient and eager for every good work: accessible, humble, gentle, forbearing and patient in enduring all the suffering or tribulation God may send us. Possession of these qualities shows that a man enjoys the fruits of the Holy Spirit: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, goodness, faith, self-control (cf. Gal. 5:11). But from the other kind of dejection we come to know the fruits of the evil spirit: listlessness, impatience, anger, hatred, contentiousness, despair, sluggishness in praying. So we should shun this second form of dejection as we would unchastity, avarice, anger and the rest of the passions. It can be healed by prayer, hope in God, meditation on Holy Scripture, and by living with godly people.’
St. John Cassian
And in another place:
‘There is another kind of sadness as well, which is more detestable. It inspires in the wrongdoer not amendment of life or correction of vice but the most pernicious despair of soul. It did not cause Cain to repent after his brothers’ murder [Genesis 4:8] or Judas to hasten to healing and reparation after the betrayal; instead it drew him to hang himself with a noose in his despair. [Matthew 27:5]’
‘The sadness that “works repentance unto a lasting salvation,” likewise, is obedient, courteous, humble, mild, gracious, and patient, inasmuch as it comes from the love of God. It stretches itself out tirelessly, in its desire for perfection, to every bodily pain and to contrition of spirit. With a kind of joy, and quickened by the hope of its own progress, it retains all its gracious courtesy and forbearance, having in itself all the fruits of the Holy Spirit, which the same Apostle enumerates: “The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, forbearance, goodness, kindness, faith, mildness, continence”. [Galatians 5:22-23] But the other is very harsh, impatient, rough, full of rancor and barren grief and punishing despair, crushing the one whom it has embraced and drawing him away from any effort and from salutary sorrow, since it is irrational. Too, it not only removes the efficacy of prayer but also eliminates all the spiritual fruits that we have spoken of and that the first is capable of bestowing.’
St. John Cassian