Do most women TRULY appreciate good men?

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There has been a couple of times in my life as well as those that I have observered that God will answer us but we tend not to want to see the answer. Almost “watch for you wish for / ask for”. The truth can be a little scary to “self”. Our own ego or pride says its not the answer/road God is giving me.

It like praying for a family, it is what you maybe called to do; just realize that you have to sacrifice allot to have a family.

People maybe praying for spouses and God shows them one with potential and we basically choose.

Side note:
If we are true children of God then a potential spouse in our mist would be a gift. Would he or she not?

Which leaves us with a very interesting twist. If we all are “gifts” (which makes all the sense in the world to me) to each other how can we reject a gift from God; as in a potential spouse?

So to isolate one’s self from “true gift of self” is a rejection of a gift God is trying to give us.

Sorry for going a little off topic.

John
 
marietta said:
Sometimes the “better choice” is no choice: I pray that God will not put any kind of man, good or bad, in my path, because rehashing all the childhood stuff and having the sins of the father fall onto the companion du jour is a total drag. I have been through innumerable therapists since I was 13 years of age and I have to say, there are some hurts, some experiences, some deceits that can never be washed away no matter how many mental, emotional, spiritual exercises are applied to them. I have done my time riding above the pain of living with a partner; now it’s time for me to relinquish all that unnecessary responsibility and live alone. It’s not a bad deal, really. Nobody to laugh at my jokes, but no love letters in the mail from some tart, either.

I pray for God to remove my fear and direct my attention to what He would have me be. If a man enters the picture, we’re going to have to renegotiate.

marietta
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😃
 
The thing is there are alot of good guys out there. I know if something happened to me and the ole ball and chain, I know 3 women who would be on him like a pair of underware. But the thing is if you have a good guy (you know it) you just dont have to let him know it. But really the reason that they are hard to find is he is probally taken. And that is why he is taken, and will stay taken. Women do really appreciate them, but sometimes it takes alot of years of marriage and ups and downs to really see it. The older you get the more you see how lucky you really are. Especially bringing up kids, that can play hell on a marriage. At first its great then they start to talk, and then it all up hill from there. But them if you are lucky to survive it, they grow up and then MOVE OUT of the house, Then its back to heaven again. I have one getting married on the 20th of this month. ALLELUIA. And I can say I really appreciate him now, he was a wonderful Father. Now to get rid of the 22 year old, I figure THE WEDDING PRESENT, I am putting a big red bow on jr’s head, Best Wishes, no return! I figure the gift that keeps on giving! Pray for me that I survive this.
 
rinnie:

Let me get this straight:

a) There are a lot of good guys out there; b) If you have one, don’t let him know he’s a good guy; c) A good guy is hard to find; d) Good guys are probably already taken; e) The older we get, the more we see how lucky we really are (?!); f) Getting rid of your kids enables you to appreciate your “good guy” more.

Now, if I were searching for a significant other, these conflicting opinions would, instead, send me searching for an air sickness bag.

The simplicity of celibacy grows more appealing every moment.

marietta
 
marietta said:
rinnie:

Let me get this straight:

a) There are a lot of good guys out there; b) If you have one, don’t let him know he’s a good guy; c) A good guy is hard to find; d) Good guys are probably already taken; e) The older we get, the more we see how lucky we really are (?!); f) Getting rid of your kids enables you to appreciate your “good guy” more.

Now, if I were searching for a significant other, these conflicting opinions would, instead, send me searching for an air sickness bag.

The simplicity of celibacy grows more appealing every moment.

marietta
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Her post made a lot of sense to me, and those opinions really aren’t all that conflicting.

Good guys—OR gals—are indeed hard to find, which is why most of them get snapped up right quick. 😉
 
Sailor Kenshin:

a) “There are l lot of good guys out there”

juxtaposed with

b) “A good guy is hard to find” and “Good guys are already taken.”

You don’t find these statements at odds with one another?

If they’re already taken, the remainder must be less than desirable; hence, why bother?

marietta
 
Sorry Marietta, I am just in one of those moods today. No one can bring me down, just flying high is all, calm before the storm, Real Happy, and yet nervous as all heck. (wed soon)

What I mean is there are alot of good guys out there, And when you find the right one your life can be pure Joy. But not all the time, its ups and downs. There is really no such thing as good men or bad men. Its just if two people find the right person, Love really can last. It the connection, the real thing. And when you find it, it takes work but it can get better every year.

I have seen Men who I thought were losers, cheat on girlfriends forever, never gonna get married, live with women for years, not the marrying type. Then out of the blue meet the right girl, and turn around and be the best husband in the world.

Same thing opposite, a good guy, never cheated, she was the rotten one, left him thinkhe could never get over her. But in time he did and found the right one and is real happy, Same with women, So its about finding someone who you Love and who loves you. Then putting God in the mix. Not a religious nut, it you know what i mean. Just the Sunday church every week, Pray together, ask for Gods grace and blessings, and still have a balance. Thats where its at.

But if you like to go out once in awhile thats okay too. I got married young, had 2 kids now my DH and I are in our 40’s and now finally get to have fun. We love to ride bikes, to look at us you think biker’s. If you saw DH you would say hard…, die hard biker, but hes as gentle as a puppy. But its not a good guy bad guy its the right guy. Thats what its about, for better or worse…and you are gonna get both. But better can really get better thru time, and worse never seems as bad, only if you let it. Dont give up.
 
May I chime in? I suppose the thing is that while there are many per se, it’s more difficult to come into interaction with one. It’s one thing knowing they’re there, another actually seeing them out in the street, and a completely different thing actually meeting them and interacting. This is what makes the contradiction.
 
marietta said:
Sailor Kenshin:

a) “There are l lot of good guys out there”

juxtaposed with

b) “A good guy is hard to find” and “Good guys are already taken.”

You don’t find these statements at odds with one another?

If they’re already taken, the remainder must be less than desirable; hence, why bother?

marietta
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Why not?

:rolleyes:
 
Marietta, if you go back and read my post, when i said he doesnt have to know thats why i ( ) I was just kidding, thats why after, i said but really. If again you go back and read my post i said that YES they are appreciated thats why they are taken and we KEEP them. Wasnt that what the question was are they appreciated. And they must know because thats why they stay. And that is why alot of the goods ones are gone because when a women has a good man she is going to do her best to make him happy so he will stay, If he wasnt a good man she could care less if he left or not. But just because alot of the good ones are taken doesnt mean that they are all gone. There are many good guys out there, You just have to find them. But like i said alot of times if he meets the right person a bad guy can become a good guy. If the man meets the right person and he wants to change he can, and will. Ive seen it happen. Love can do many things.
 
St. Paul thinks so too:

Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated,
5
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
6
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
7
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8
4 Love never fails.
 
marietta said:
Actually, no - I’m going to get neither.

marietta
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Out of honest curiosity, Marietta - have you ever tried discerning a religious vocation (or if any, some other form of consecrated celibacy)?
 
DrPiano said:
Out of honest curiosity, Marietta - have you ever tried discerning a religious vocation (or if any, some other form of consecrated celibacy)?
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Actually, never thought of it. I guess I think God is very clever and He would see right through that.

marietta
 
Well, now that someone’s put the idea into your mind—how do you know until you ask?
 
marietta said:
Actually, no - I’m going to get neither.

marietta
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And thats fine Marietta, and that is you choice. But just because its uour choice does not mean its the right choice for others. But the truth is there are good guys out there who Love, respect, and treasure their wives. That is just the truth. If you dont feel the need to have that in your life, I would never tell you that you should. ITs not my call. But what i am saying is they do exist.

But here is the main thing NO MAN, can make your life perfect. Even if he is a good man. Only you can make yourself happy. It comes from within, And only God can give you the strength to do that.

Marriage isnt for everyone, You are right. And i do agree if your point IS that people try to make you think you need it. Only you know what you need and want.

All you need to do Love is get thru every day the best you can and love yourself the best you can.

But you must remember one thing for OTHER people they do need a Man, a family, and Children for fullfill thier lives. And thats okay too.

Thats why we are all different and called to do different things. But the main thing is we are called to do Gods work. For some it is being a wife, for some a friend, for some a Priest, for some just helping out strangers, a neighbor in need. That is where true Love within comes from when you makes others happy and thats enough for you. No other reward is needed. Just seeing that you helped is enough. That feeling in your heart knowing you cared. that is Loving yourself.
 
rinnie said:
And thats fine Marietta, and that is you choice. But just because its uour choice does not mean its the right choice for others. But the truth is there are good guys out there who Love, respect, and treasure their wives. That is just the truth. If you dont feel the need to have that in your life, I would never tell you that you should. ITs not my call. But what i am saying is they do exist.

**But here is the main thing NO MAN, can make your life perfect. Even if he is a good man. Only you can make yourself happy. It comes from within, And only God can give you the strength to do that. **

Marriage isnt for everyone, You are right. And i do agree if your point IS that people try to make you think you need it. Only you know what you need and want.

All you need to do Love is get thru every day the best you can and love yourself the best you can.

But you must remember one thing for OTHER people they do need a Man, a family, and Children for fullfill thier lives. And thats okay too.

Thats why we are all different and called to do different things. But the main thing is we are called to do Gods work. For some it is being a wife, for some a friend, for some a Priest, for some just helping out strangers, a neighbor in need. That is where true Love within comes from when you makes others happy and thats enough for you. No other reward is needed. Just seeing that you helped is enough. That feeling in your heart knowing you cared. that is Loving yourself.
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I agree, especially with what I’ve chosen to bold above. I think that there are situations where a man/woman can cause his/her spouse a lot of anguish, but often times, if a spouse is not ‘making us happy,’ in whatever way we feel that should be–we cast off the possibility of ever being happy. I think this happened with my sister in her marriage, sadly. She was searching for her happiness through her husband.
 
rinnie:

I don’t disagree with you, but I want to point out one thing from your post:

*“But the truth is there are good guys out there who Love, respect, and treasure their wives.” *

I have yet to find a single man who genuinely loves, respects and treasures his partner/girlfriend/fiancee, and I’m no kid. Doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but I’ve never known one.

marietta
 
marietta said:
rinnie:

I don’t disagree with you, but I want to point out one thing from your post:

"But the truth is there are good guys out there who Love, respect, and treasure their wives."

I have yet to find a single man who genuinely loves, respects and treasures his partner/girlfriend/fiancee, and I’m no kid. Doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but I’ve never known one.

marietta
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I’m a little confused. Are you saying this about all men, or just the single ones? :confused:
 
marietta said:
rinnie:

I don’t disagree with you, but I want to point out one thing from your post:

"But the truth is there are good guys out there who Love, respect, and treasure their wives."

I have yet to find a single man who genuinely loves, respects and treasures his partner/girlfriend/fiancee, and I’m no kid. Doesn’t mean they don’t exist, but I’ve never known one.

marietta
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But we all begin as girlfriends and boyfriends…before marrying, so I’m a little confused by what you mean here? I have never met a guy who starts off like a jerk, and turns into a sweetheart as a husband…I think it might be the other way around, if anything, but to men who treasure their wives, I would imagine treasure them before they became their wives…no?
:ehh:
 
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