Do you do your husband's laundry?

[JRKH]

BIB…Just a quick thought (as a guy) on this part of you post…
My husband will help out when he has to. I need to remind him though, because he just doesn’t think about those things. If it’s been a trying time, and I’ve gotten behind on laundry, he might notice he’s running out of work uniforms or socks or underwear- and will wash some clothes for himself. It’s kind of silly because he’ll do a small load with only his clothes, instead of throwing in our clothes as well.
Guys are sometimes intimidated by some of the more “unknown” aspects and finer points of doing women’s laundry. He knows that if he tosses his work clothes (and even underwear) into the machine together nothing is likely to be ruined.
He might not be so sure about things of yours that might be “delicate” or “hand wash only” or wool (that will shrink) etc. Guys screwing up their wives laundry has been a stereotypical staple of TV and movie comedy for many years.

Also the fact that you say he has a hard, physical job, he might not want to mix his “filthy” uniforms with the more general “family” stuff.

Not really saying this is the case in your house…just making more of a general comment.

Peace
James

 

[pnewton]

Just started a load of sheets. Today is my laundry day!

Guys are sometimes intimidated by some of the more “unknown” aspects and finer points of doing women’s laundry.

Boy you have that right! Here is my solution. If it is in the hamper, it goes in the washer in any way I see fit. The only promise I make is to choose the right temp. Any special handling has to wait until my wife is here to explain or does it herself.

Now when it comes to hanging up - just how many names for shirts and pants do women have??? I am always getting some new term thrown my way. My solution to this is that if I can’t easily recognize where the head, arms or legs go, it is draped in any manner I see fit on a hanger to be corrected later .

 

[BIB_MT]

BIB…Just a quick thought (as a guy) on this part of you post…
My husband will help out when he has to. I need to remind him though, because he just doesn’t think about those things. If it’s been a trying time, and I’ve gotten behind on laundry, he might notice he’s running out of work uniforms or socks or underwear- and will wash some clothes for himself. It’s kind of silly because he’ll do a small load with only his clothes, instead of throwing in our clothes as well.
Guys are sometimes intimidated by some of the more “unknown” aspects and finer points of doing women’s laundry. He knows that if he tosses his work clothes (and even underwear) into the machine together nothing is likely to be ruined.
He might not be so sure about things of yours that might be “delicate” or “hand wash only” or wool (that will shrink) etc. Guys screwing up their wives laundry has been a stereotypical staple of TV and movie comedy for many years.

Also the fact that you say he has a hard, physical job, he might not want to mix his “filthy” uniforms with the more general “family” stuff.

Not really saying this is the case in your house…just making more of a general comment.

Peace
James

James, I realize you’re making a general statement here- so no offense taken.

Your comment is so sad to me though! Do guys really get in serious trouble over things like this? I can’t imagine having a fight or nit-picking over something so trivial. Maybe if you have a really professional job, and could risk losing your job if your attire is wrinkled or not cared for properly, but I doubt most folks are in that situation. Especially since we’re talking about the guy doing the woman’s clothes, and most catholic women I know (my age) don’t even have jobs outside the home, so clothing should be a practical matter and not something important like keeping a job. Making a general statement there too- I know not everyone falls in that category.

I heard a long time ago, maybe on catholic radio, that this is a problem in marriages, and that people need to stop complaining about trivial things, and just be grateful they received help. Fortunately that made sense to me, and learning to keep my mouth shut over silly things like that has really paid off. It’s helped me learn more self control, helped me sit back and be more appreciative instead of negative, helped me learn to “let go” and stop feeling the need to be in control all the time (which is a great gift in life when we have to learn to leave things in God’s hands), and helped my marriage immensely. I’ve never been picky about laundry, but I have had to learn to put this advice to good use in other areas.

As for us personally, I know it’s not because my husband fears “doing it wrong”. Diapers are the only thing I wash separately. Everything else is thrown in together. I’m not a stickler at all. I’ve stayed on top of the laundry more recently, but in the past half the time I grab my wrinkled clothes out of the dryer to wear because I never put them away! Most of my clothes have stains from the kids, and I’m a t-shirt and jeans kinda gal so his dirty work clothes washed in with mine don’t bother me at all. It is a tad annoying when something is left in his pockets (Screwdrivers, sharpies, etc) but it’s one of those things that I just shake my head and laugh and move on with my life. Also, He’s just more of a deal-with-it-as-it-comes kinda guy so he’s not going to even think to do the laundry until it becomes an issue and he’s run out of clothing.

If the laundry not being done right is the biggest worry on your mind, you should be counting your blessings that’s all you have to worry about! With 2 young children (and another on the way) I just don’t have time to be picky like I used to with cleaning in general, even if I wanted to. Wish I had that kind of time on my hands!

 

[BIB_MT]

Also James, after I typed that I remembered something when my husband and I were just dating.

My husband had spent hours making me a homemade special Valentines Day dinner. We were just dating and didn’t know each other as well as we do now. I’m a really picky eater. I made a couple comments about how I didn’t like the food he was preparing for me, and it really hurt his feelings.

10 years later, he still remembers that and jokingly brings it up from time to time. We have pretty thick skin now, but here he was working hard for me, and all I could do was complain about it. It was really rude of me. I can only imagine how he’d feel if I did this on every day little things, like the laundry, or how he loads the dishwasher, or this or that.

If it were me on the receiving end of that, constantly all the time, I would just get so frustrated I wouldnt even offer to help anymore. Not to say you can’t have an open dialogue about things, but lets be honest- we are usually frustrated when we make comments like that and don’t say them in a loving way. Sorry, I’m just rambling now…

 

[JRKH]

BIB…
Sorry if I sounded more intense than I intended.
Your points are well taken.

There are a lot of “intimidation” factors that can figure in to these things as well as just plain personal and interpersonal factors.

For myself, it would simply be a matter of not wanting to “wreck” my wife’s clothes - or some particular piece because I love her - not because she was being picky or anything. It’s just that some of these things can be quite expensive and/or things that my wife really liked a lot and I wouldn’t want to ruin it.

It’s actually kind of humorous that my wife actually wrecked one of my shirts one time…Of course I would have done the same thing she did…so it was kind of funny in a way. I had bought on sale a beautiful, thick warm flannel shirt. Wore it and then put it in the laundry. Next time I went to put it on, it wouldn’t fit - tight in the shoulders and 2 inches short in the sleeves.
Turns out that it was a wool blend and so shrank in the warm water wash.
The funny thing was that after it shrunk it fit her quite nicely - a bit loose, but that’s the way she liked things.
You can bet I teased her about “stealing” my shirt…

Peace
James

 

[pnewton]

Your comment is so sad to me though! Do guys really get in serious trouble over things like this? I can’t imagine having a fight or nit-picking over something so trivial.

I can answer this. Yes. Most arguments are over small matters. Laundry is not serious, but it is easy to slip into a parental mode with a husband that leaves him feeling belittled over something that is not important. I can easily see how someone would throw in the towel, or not throw the towel in, for this case, if that person has felt belittled of something small like the wash temperature when washing towels.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

In general I’m in charge of all of the laundry, including my husband’s. He is responsible for making sure everything he wants washed gets into the basket, though.

If I need help with it, he’ll help, or do it himself - even the cloth diapers. But since I stay at home, it’s usually me who does it, and I don’t mind it.

(We both grew up in homes where this was the arrangement, except that our dads generally did very little. My MIL still does all their laundry, but my dad does his own now. I’m not sure how that started, but it was after all the kids moved out.)

Of course I do his laundry. When it’s a very heavy load, however, he carries the basket upstairs or I just take it piece by piece.

 

[ElisabethM]

Of course, and iron all his shirts and trousers as well. My dh works in another state and only gets home one weekend a month which means I am doing lots of laundry (which I hang out on the line) and ironing around 20 shirts over the weekend. When I start to feel a little “put out”, I offer it up as penance for my many sins (esp griping about my duties). My dh sacrifices so much having to live apart from our family that anything I can do to ease his burden a little here while he is at home, the better.

em

 

[pensmama87]

Of course, and iron all his shirts and trousers as well. My dh works in another state and only gets home one weekend a month which means I am doing lots of laundry (which I hang out on the line) and ironing around 20 shirts over the weekend. When I start to feel a little “put out”, I offer it up as penance for my many sins (esp griping about my duties). My dh sacrifices so much having to live apart from our family that anything I can do to ease his burden a little here while he is at home, the better.

em

That’s a really nice way of thinking about it. I am prone to griping about housework…this may help me!

 

[rayne89]

That would explain your comment.

My husband knows all of my passwords; I know his. We share bank accounts. Our computers and email are shared.

So washing my clothes, or back when I did his, isn’t that big of a deal.

(You probably don’t want to know that I will use the toilet when he is in the shower. )

All of the above -same here including the last one…lol.

 

[maryjk]

All of the above -same here including the last one…lol.

In the interest of full disclosure , I do have to say there is a shoulder high wall between the shower and toilet.

 

[Memaw]

In the interest of full disclosure , I do have to say there is a shoulder high wall between the shower and toilet.

I do believe we’re getting a bit off track here. To much information, not necessary. God Bless, Memaw

 

[BIB_MT]

I can easily see how someone would throw in the towel, or not throw the towel in, for this case, if that person has felt belittled of something small like the wash temperature when washing towels.

That made me laugh! Although, it’s really not funny if you think about it. Hrm.

BIB…
Sorry if I sounded more intense than I intended.
Your points are well taken.

There are a lot of “intimidation” factors that can figure in to these things as well as just plain personal and interpersonal factors.

For myself, it would simply be a matter of not wanting to “wreck” my wife’s clothes - or some particular piece because I love her - not because she was being picky or anything. It’s just that some of these things can be quite expensive and/or things that my wife really liked a lot and I wouldn’t want to ruin it.

It’s actually kind of humorous that my wife actually wrecked one of my shirts one time…Of course I would have done the same thing she did…so it was kind of funny in a way. I had bought on sale a beautiful, thick warm flannel shirt. Wore it and then put it in the laundry. Next time I went to put it on, it wouldn’t fit - tight in the shoulders and 2 inches short in the sleeves.
Turns out that it was a wool blend and so shrank in the warm water wash.
The funny thing was that after it shrunk it fit her quite nicely - a bit loose, but that’s the way she liked things.
You can bet I teased her about “stealing” my shirt…

Peace
James

Gotcha! When I read your comment I wasn’t sure which way you mean, it did cross my mind. That’s funny about her “stealing” your shirt.

 

[nishkalank]

It seems the questioner assumes that doing the laundry for husband is infra dig. It is a mischievious thinking. When we love a person we do everything for that person. The husbsnd and wife must be eternal lovers. Why Mother Teresa carried beggars from the street,cleaned the **** covered body,and clothed them and fed them ? It is sheer love of God and neighbour. A christian husband or wife is a gift to each other and the children brought out by their union of love are God,s gift to them. It is great pleasure for each member to servr thr other and detive happiness. That is Christian family

 

[kelvinf]

(You probably don’t want to know that I will use the toilet when he is in the shower. )

Haha, FYI, that is certainly not uncommon. I don’t know how you see me

I kind of thought the idea of “personal hygiene” was rather humorous. My thought was - “he doesn’t want to touch her underwear”?..Trust me - you will want to touch her underwear…

I don’t know why a couple of you had that in mind.

Well, for me, as I have said, cleaning your body, your clothes, your shoes etc is part of personal hygiene and certainly not the job of a housewife in my view.

Re the question directed towards me was about mixing laundry, again, it’s just my instinct and feeling about not mixing it.

Why did some of you bring up underwears? That only shows that you all know that underwears and let’s pullovers are not the same thing.

Fact is, the underwear of a baby, woman and man are not the same thing. For babies, people have already said that they separate diapers from other clothes. Why?

Now let’s look at women. About a couple of years ago, a very good friend of mine came over. I don’t know how to put it but let me just say her body behaved they way she didn’t anticipate or maybe she just blundered. I don’t know and I am not trying to judge her. She is too worthy for that. That day, her body failed her. She sat on a chair and when she got up, something had happened. (I am sure she felt abashed.) But she did what any normal person would have done. She cleaned the chair herself (it was a wooden chair so it was easy to clean the mess), went into the bathroom and tried to clean herself and immediately went home. If I were married to this girl, I don’t see how it would have been my responsibility to clean her stuff for her when she can take the responsibility and do it herself. For such a person, could I clean it for her if she couldn’t? Yes, but she could and most people can and should.

I studied Biology in highschool so I know the theory about menstruation but in real life, I have always been minding my own business when it comes to how women deal with this. I would have asked her to tell what went wrong but I behaved like gentlemen do (LOL) and gave her space. And neither have I ever asked any of my sisters this question. (When we were younger, I had once noticed something similar.)

Since our bodies are not the same, you cannot say there is no difference between the underwears of women and men. If all the stuff they excrete happen to soil their underwears, I think it’s proper that they take care of that by themselves.

(BTW, for those who might be thinking that I threw that chair away, well, guess what, I am currently sitting on that chair right now! LOL)

 

[Della]

Well, the material the underwear or any other garment is made of determines how it gets washed. All the whites go together, be they mine or his. It’s just simpler that way. I have some delicates that cannot be washed with the whites that I put into a netted bag to wash with the cold things, but all the cold wash goes together, be it mine or his. Cleaning blood from garments isn’t something only women may have to deal with. Anyone who does laundry should be taught how to clean that kind of stain along with any others. Laundry is just another household chore that someone has to do. However it’s done in anyone’s family is up to them, AFAICS.

 

[kelvinf]

It seems the questioner assumes that doing the laundry for husband is infra dig. It is a mischievious thinking. When we love a person we do everything for that person. The husbsnd and wife must be eternal lovers. Why Mother Teresa carried beggars from the street,cleaned the **** covered body,and clothed them and fed them ? It is sheer love of God and neighbour. A christian husband or wife is a gift to each other and the children brought out by their union of love are God,s gift to them. It is great pleasure for each member to servr thr other and detive happiness. That is Christian family

I don’t know why you are trying to guess how I am thinking but you are certainly wrong!

I don’t think this is about love and I disagree that if you love a person, you have to do everything for that person. Some parents spoil their children because they think that way.

Love goes with responsibility. And sometimes, if you love someone, you don’t chew things for them and give them to swallow. You can teach someone how to do something, support them when necessary and let them take responsibility when necessary.

A lot of women do household chores lovingly as you can see on this thread but you need to read other threads where some wives complain about the burden especially when the husband shows no shred of appreciation. Mothering an adult does not necessarily reflect love.

 

[Phemie]

All of the above -same here including the last one…lol.

Me too, but just don’t flush 'til he turns the shower off.

 

[adv]

I stopped doing my husbands laundry about 5 years ago because I would do all the laundry for us on my off day and then when it was his off day he wouldn’t touch any of my laundry or my girls laundry, he would sit around playing on the computer. So I decided I wasn’t going to kill myself over his laundry on my off day and I would just do my laundry and the little girls laundry. I have 4 girls and 2 of them are old enough to do their own, so they do. Sometimes he will ask me to do one load for him and I do . I am pretty sure he got the message why I won’t do his laundry, but he still hasn’t done any of my laundry. So I guess he’s okay with our arrangement.

 

[Della]

I don’t know why you are trying to guess how I am thinking but you are certainly wrong!

I don’t think this is about love and I disagree that if you love a person, you have to do everything for that person. Some parents spoil their children because they think that way.

Love goes with responsibility. And sometimes, if you love someone, you don’t chew things for them and give them to swallow. You can teach someone how to do something, support them when necessary and let them take responsibility when necessary.

A lot of women do household chores lovingly as you can see on this thread but you need to read other threads where some wives complain about the burden especially when the husband shows no shred of appreciation. Mothering an adult does not necessarily reflect love.

I agree. I do the laundry because I’m at home and he works outside the home. He’ll help me if I’m sick and he knows how to do laundry if necessary. It just works best for us since I don’t work all day outside our home.