Do you have a community?

[holyrood]

Not sure I feel better to see so many others feel the same as I do.

In the last ten years, I have divorced my husband and cut contact with my family–both for very good reason. I have a few friends, but no real ‘community.’ Like others, I go to church weekly, and even sang with the choir, but, while people were friendly, I just somehow don’t seem to settle into a group. I work entirely with children one on one, so no co-workers really.

I do have an arts group I belong to, and we’re very close and get together outside of our weekly meetings, which is something.

I have been very frustrated that I’ve been seeing someone who wants to commandeer all of my time, but never introduces me to any friends, and thus, I have been unable to get out and meet more people.

I plan to join some meetup groups, maybe, and an events and adventures group.

 

[Xantippe]

I have been very frustrated that I’ve been seeing someone who wants to commandeer all of my time, but never introduces me to any friends, and thus, I have been unable to get out and meet more people.

That sounds really bad.

 

[Xantippe]

My situation is a little different than other people’s. We live in a sort of big small town with a lot of overlapping social circles and we’re always bumping into the same people in different contexts. I know for a fact that there is a community out there and I have actually done stuff in the past, but a number of factors came together over the last four years that pulled me away. Starting 4+ years ago, I had a pregnancy and then a late miscarriage and then a successful pregnancy, and while I was able to share that last pregnancy with two good friends who were having babies at the same time (an awesome experience, by the way), it pulled me away from school stuff. I just couldn’t keep up with it all, I was skipping a lot of school events, and when I did come, there were dozens of somewhat familiar faces saying hello that I just couldn’t place. Then, about a year ago, one of my two close local friends left town with her family. Instantly, I lost about 50% of my regular social activities. At the same time, Baby Girl was getting to the age where she wasn’t going to sit still at potlucks and I was going to go nuts protecting other people’s stuff from her and chasing around after her, so I just sent my husband to a lot of potlucks with the big kids and stayed home with Baby Girl. We also used to host movie nights at our house, but it’s been a number of years since we’ve done that.

Over the past year, we put Baby Girl in parents’ day out for one day, and I could finally just barely keep up with school and household clerical work (not to mention laundry). But I couldn’t quite carve out enough alert free time to work on my social life. In the past month, we’ve put Baby Girl into two days of parents’ day out (it’s 5.5 hours X 2, so 11 hours a week). I’m making a little bit more headway on household paperwork and projects, and I’m just starting to be able to work on my social life. But it was a two step process that took about a year to realize: 1) I need larger blocks of quiet time to work on household stuff but at the same time 2) I need more time talking to adults. It was pretty counter-intuitive, but it turns out that I needed larger blocks of quiet time to figure out how to have more of a social life.

So, again, I know that there’s a big, beautiful world out there of school events and volunteering, potlucks, meetups, book clubs and playdates, etc. I’d also like to facilitate a Financial Peace University course and go back to work at least part-time in 2+ years and I know that once our youngest starts school, that will be yet another opportunity to meet parents in her class and make friends with them. However, unfortunately, doing all of this stuff requires a certain amount of leisured planning and forethought, and what you get out is going to look a lot like what you put in. You put in nothing, you get nothing. And the last few years, I just haven’t had a lot to put in. We’ve done really well just to do an occasional playdate for the kids, host birthday parties for the kids, attend birthday parties, and send my husband and the big kids to potlucks and board game nights. It’s not nothing, but it’s not quite enough.

 

[Xantippe]

Here’s some stuff from one of my favorite bloggers on the subject of modern America and social isolation:

thepracticalconservative.wordpress.com/2015/07/07/the-american-right-rejects-systemic-critique-and-this-is-bad/

“But it’s hard to get out of the social isolation. We’ve gone from the days when hermits and anchorites would come to church every single Sunday to people thinking it is acceptable and normal to not see anyone other than your children for days or weeks at a time (SAHM isolation) or no-one at all while you work from home or play from home online (single male and female isolation). And it’s very hard when you yourself are worn out to keep forcing social interactions because absolutely nothing organic exists. No neighbors stop by, there’s nothing you might need to borrow, there’s no traveling service sellers, and families don’t all live in the same houses or on the same street or share a couple of adjoining homestead parcels anymore. When you have to initiate every single possible social interaction outside your home, that exhausts all but the most aggressively social people, and can tucker plenty of them out too.”

One of her commentors says:

“One other observation – the isolation creeps up on us; we start out excited with the newness of telecommuting or being home with new baby/children; it takes a while to notice that we haven’t actually spoken to anyone )outside a spouse or other family member) for weeks on end. Well, maybe there’s a teeny bit of socialization going to church or the grocery store, but not much. We just don’t notice it happening until we’re overwhelmed by the silence, so to speak.”

 

[Joko2599]

Political communities, school clubs, and volunteer organizations.

If you want something, you have to grab it. Make a community if you can’t find one! When there’s a will, there is a way.

 

[Dulcie]

This topic is so very close to my own heart…I’m glad you brought it up, OP.

I am also a convert and have become more and more isolated since I converted. Sometimes I feel as though I’ve lost the ability to connect with people…I used to travel and meet so many different kinds of people from different backgrounds and have friends…go out (nothing wild, but you know-- dinner, dancing, clubs, drinks, etc.), join social activities, and enjoy life…then I converted. And I’ve found myself in an awkward place where I can’t run with the more liberal crowd that I’d been around for much of my life (being more arts/humanities inclined) but don’t quite fit in with the Catholics who grew up in the Church, went to all Catholic schools, come from all-Catholic families, spent most of their lives in all-Catholic social circles, etc. either.

I suspect that this can be a particular problem for converts, sometimes. My husband is one, and I came from a family where only one side was Catholic, and that a complex brand of agnosticism and Catholicism, so I might as well be one too, really. I empathise with your sense of isolation from the arts/humanities crowd which is “my” crowd too. Although I am lucky enough to have lots of friends, and routinely socialise with people of widely varying political, religious and social beliefs (including some that could not be more opposed to Catholicism!) it can be extremely lonely when you are so often in the midst of a culture that takes as its basic assumptions and norms such different ideas about, for example, something as basic as the nature of an essential sexual difference between men and women. So it’s not just a matter of not discussing “religion”, because religion permeates to the essence of who we are and how we think about the world. I think that, as converts, some of us are hungry for the company of people who intuitively share some of our own beliefs and interests about the world around us. It’s not that we necessarily need to spend each and every meeting in Bible study or prayer (though the opportunity to do those things would be very welcome). It’s exactly what the OP describes - a longing for community, real community, whether that’s amongst a theology study group or just a wine and cheese night. I would like the opportunity for both, personally.

 

[EasterJoy]

…I have been very frustrated that I’ve been seeing someone who wants to commandeer all of my time, but never introduces me to any friends…

How long has this been going on? That is a deal-breaker. Either this person has friends and ought to want to introduce you to them very soon after identifying you as a real long-term prospect or else only has you as a social life and ought to want to find couples to do things with. I’d look to either change this situation or change who I was seeing. The social situation when you get married would not get better, let’s just say that! More to the point, the chances that the relationship will ever lead to marriage when the person doesn’t see the two of you as a social unit is about zero.

What do your friends think of the person you are seeing? Or does this person not want to socialize with your friends, either?

 

[misspriss]

People with kids that won’t socialize with people that don’t have kids are dumb. At some point, we’re all going to have to learn to socialize without using our kids as a crutch, so now is a good time to start. New parents can be especially bad about only wanting to hang out with new parents with kids exactly the same age, but fortunately people usually get over that.

That is going a bit far. Perhaps it’s because my children are still small, but I don’t socialize with people without kids much, because it’s tiring and frustrating.

Going places with people without kids just really do not understand. When I get out of my car, I first go to the back hatch and set up the stroller, then go to the first side door and unbuckle my two year old and put him in the stroller, then go to the other side and put on my baby carrier and put my 3 month old in it, then go to the front seat again and get the diaper back with diapers and the change of clothes for the 2 year old. My friends with out kids get out of the car and shut the door.

Just going to the grocery store today I spent 30 minutes chasing my 2 year old around (who was behaving badly) to wrestle clothes on him, then back off him so he could pee, then back on him, then treating a booboo on his foot he got running away from me when I called him to put his shoes on so I could put his shoes on…people without kids do not understand this. I can tell they get flustered when I’m 20 minutes late because I couldn’t get my son corralled to get dressed. I don’t just “stop by” places to meet up with people because they offer.

Then you actually go somewhere and spend the entire time either chasing your toddler (if they are free) keeping them entertained if they are in the stroller/carrier, make sure they are fed and happy, while stopping periodically to nurse and/or change the infant. Oh and we’re quite broke, the zoo costs a small fortune and ours kind of sucks.

Granted, I think this is a “young child” problem and will soon pass, but it’s very hard to keep friends without seeing them for the first few years of your children’s lives. That being said, I am terrible at making friends anyway, so it’s not like I had a lot of friends to lose. I struggle with social anxiety and it does not help.

 

[EasterJoy]

People with kids that won’t socialize with people that don’t have kids are dumb. At some point, we’re all going to have to learn to socialize without using our kids as a crutch, so now is a good time to start. New parents can be especially bad about only wanting to hang out with new parents with kids exactly the same age, but fortunately people usually get over that.

I don’t know of many parents with children who turn down a chance to socialize with people whose idea for socializing basically revolves around entertaining the children. Few parents expect their childless friends to do that, save maybe the aunts and uncles. If they realize they have friends willing to be surrogate aunts and uncles, they are usually thrilled.

 

[Xantippe]

A lot of new parents are susceptible to “we can’t possibly be friends–your kids are 1 year older than my kids!” syndrome.

And then they wonder why they have nothing in common with the people they hang out with, besides the age of their kids…

Been there, done that.

I don’t know of many parents with children who turn down a chance to socialize with people whose idea for socializing basically revolves around entertaining the children. Few parents expect their childless friends to do that, save maybe the aunts and uncles. If they realize they have friends willing to be surrogate aunts and uncles, they are usually thrilled.

 

[Xantippe]

That is going a bit far. Perhaps it’s because my children are still small, but I don’t socialize with people without kids much, because it’s tiring and frustrating.

Going places with people without kids just really do not understand. When I get out of my car, I first go to the back hatch and set up the stroller, then go to the first side door and unbuckle my two year old and put him in the stroller, then go to the other side and put on my baby carrier and put my 3 month old in it, then go to the front seat again and get the diaper back with diapers and the change of clothes for the 2 year old. My friends with out kids get out of the car and shut the door.

Just going to the grocery store today I spent 30 minutes chasing my 2 year old around (who was behaving badly) to wrestle clothes on him, then back off him so he could pee, then back on him, then treating a booboo on his foot he got running away from me when I called him to put his shoes on so I could put his shoes on…people without kids do not understand this. I can tell they get flustered when I’m 20 minutes late because I couldn’t get my son corralled to get dressed. I don’t just “stop by” places to meet up with people because they offer.

Then you actually go somewhere and spend the entire time either chasing your toddler (if they are free) keeping them entertained if they are in the stroller/carrier, make sure they are fed and happy, while stopping periodically to nurse and/or change the infant. Oh and we’re quite broke, the zoo costs a small fortune and ours kind of sucks.

Granted, I think this is a “young child” problem and will soon pass, but it’s very hard to keep friends without seeing them for the first few years of your children’s lives. That being said, I am terrible at making friends anyway, so it’s not like I had a lot of friends to lose. I struggle with social anxiety and it does not help.

1. I’m talking about people that flat-out refuse to socialize with non-parents or people that don’t have children exactly the same age.
2. Growing up, there was a childless couple (wife a school teacher, husband an artist) that lived next door. They were absolutely lovely people and they were great with kids and our lives were intertwined in many ways over the years. Don’t underestimate childless people.
3. It’s true, though, that I kind of cringe at some stuff I did when I was an early 20-something. I was actually helpful (to the best of my abilities), but I didn’t recognize the level of responsibility that my friend had to her kid.
4. Not all zoos are horribly expensive. The Washington DC zoo is free. For our local zoo (which is small, but really nice), a yearly family membership is $75 and includes a fat pack of free passes for friends. So we can go to the zoo as often as we like–and the more often we go, the cheaper each visit works out to be. I was just checking, and even in some bigger cities (for instance Dallas and Pittsburgh), a family zoo pass costs under $100 a year.

Our children’s museum also costs $75 a year for a family membership, but you can bring half a dozen people in per visit on a single membership, and they don’t all have to be from the same household. Children’s museums are also fun for just walking around and talking while kids run around pressing buttons, turning gears and climbing into toy school buses and Cozy Coupes, etc.

1. Another suggestion–playgrounds with fences, gates with latches and picnic tables. Best thing ever. I practically used to live at a couple like that in Washington DC.
2. We also used to host a lot of movie nights at our house when our two oldest children were that age. Initially, it was part of a job (we lived in a dorm and my husband was supposed to do programming for students) but later on, we just did it for fun. I haven’t done that for a while, though–but I plan to get back to it. Over the years, we’ve hosted dozens and dozens of movie nights. It worked particularly well when our middle child’s bedtime was 6:30.
3. There’s a college Christian women’s book club in our area that looks like it does a very good job integrating parents and non-parents. One of the times I went, one of the non-parents was talking about how she feels TOTALLY prepared to have a baby now just by attending book club.

 

[pensmama87]

A lot of new parents are susceptible to “we can’t possibly be friends–your kids are 1 year older than my kids!” syndrome.

And then they wonder why they have nothing in common with the people they hang out with, besides the age of their kids…

Been there, done that.

I was (briefly) a part of a moms group like that. It was weird.

(It was also super competitive about milestones and did you get on the wait list for the super expensive exclusive preschool yet?, so I hightailed it out of there.)

Besides that I haven’t really encountered it. I wonder if some of it is that most of the parents we do hang out with came from larger than average families and anticipates that for themselves as well, so it’s much more a free-for-all of lots if kids of all ages. And we tend to anticipate kid-free time even if the logistics are sometimes complicated.

 

[spunjalebi]

That is going a bit far. Perhaps it’s because my children are still small, but I don’t socialize with people without kids much, because it’s tiring and frustrating.

Going places with people without kids just really do not understand. When I get out of my car, I first go to the back hatch and set up the stroller, then go to the first side door and unbuckle my two year old and put him in the stroller, then go to the other side and put on my baby carrier and put my 3 month old in it, then go to the front seat again and get the diaper back with diapers and the change of clothes for the 2 year old. My friends with out kids get out of the car and shut the door.

See, I think there are a lot of assumptions going on.

I’ve known people with small children before, and I always made it clear I was understanding of their situation. One friend had a toddler at the time and told me it was impossible to talk on the phone, but when I visited it was easier to socialize because her daughter could move about and we both played with her.

I don’t understand how it’s tiring and frustrating to socialize with people without kids, because if you socialized with people who had kids things might just take longer. They’d have to put kids into carriers and strollers and check the diaper bag, too. Is it so much tiring and frustrating, or is it because they don’t have to do the same things? I’d have no problem offering to take the diaper bag or grab the baby carrier if I were to meet with friends who had children.

Hmm…my husband and I were once friends with one of his old friends and they had a large family. When we went to their house, we were prepared for the chaos associated with small children, but the children knew us so well by that time they would show us their drawings, books, offer to play a movie for us, etc. It didn’t interfere with us having “adult” time to socialize. I think what happens a lot is the lack of understanding between people who have children and those who do not. I grew up around children my entire life and helped care for my younger cousins. Children cry, throw tantrums, require extra attention and responsibility. Maybe it’s because I already know that comes with the territory and other people do not. On the part of a childless person, I communicate this and hope it’ll be taken well by those with children but it seems most people consider it mostly bs.

It’s sad to have no friends. Why not invite some couples over for lunch, or out to a restaurant with you? If you hit it off, you may gain friends. If not, you will feel stronger because you made the effort.
.

It’s not really friends I care for. It would be nice to have community where if I knew someone needed help with something, I could assist or vice versa. Or be part of something where “Mrs. such and so needs help with her house while her husband is in the hospital, and she’d be ever so grateful if people could keep her company.”

My husband and I were talking about this today. We feel quite isolated here…Here the only really vibrant and devout community is the Polish one (unfortunately we don’t speak Polish). Not helped by the fact that I don’t speak the local language either, so even the monthly lecture is closed to me - but the language isn’t the main issue.

I have considered looking into an Eastern rite parish where they offer Mass in English (some are in a different language, too). However, an acquaintance told me Eastern Christians tend to be xenophobic, so it made me hesitate.

Although, I think religion is best left for a later discussion. People today are all over the place as to how they feel about Catholicism.

So, leave it out of the equation.

People find the fact I’m a convert to be strange. I get these expressions like “wait…you converted because you wanted to??” Yes, I wanted to and my husband didn’t ask me to. I also wear a saint medallion (St. Gerard) and I think people formulate ideas from there.

I understand there are some issues with child-families vs. no child, but I don’t want to limit it to that. I think community is supposed to be greater encompassing, as there’s many people with grown children, many elderly, and many young unmarried people. Community to me, is supposed to be for everyone and not divided along age, race, marital status, etc.

Xantippe-- I also read her blog, too.

 

[Xantippe]

I was (briefly) a part of a moms group like that. It was weird.

(It was also super competitive about milestones and did you get on the wait list for the super expensive exclusive preschool yet?, so I hightailed it out of there.)

Besides that I haven’t really encountered it. I wonder if some of it is that most of the parents we do hang out with came from larger than average families and anticipates that for themselves as well, so it’s much more a free-for-all of lots if kids of all ages. And we tend to anticipate kid-free time even if the logistics are sometimes complicated.

I did some of that myself as a new parent.

It can take a while to figure out 1) no one but you and your pediatrician and grandma care about developmental milestones 2) no one is handing out trophies 3) being friends with people with children either younger or older than you can be a very enriching experience.

Again, I cringe at some of the stuff I did and said when my oldest was an infant.

 

[Xantippe]

I don’t understand how it’s tiring and frustrating to socialize with people without kids, because if you socialized with people who had kids things might just take longer. They’d have to put kids into carriers and strollers and check the diaper bag, too. Is it so much tiring and frustrating, or is it because they don’t have to do the same things? I’d have no problem offering to take the diaper bag or grab the baby carrier if I were to meet with friends who had children.

It’s not really friends I care for. It would be nice to have community where if I knew someone needed help with something, I could assist or vice versa. Or be part of something where “Mrs. such and so needs help with her house while her husband is in the hospital, and she’d be ever so grateful if people could keep her company.”

I have considered looking into an Eastern rite parish where they offer Mass in English (some are in a different language, too). However, an acquaintance told me Eastern Christians tend to be xenophobic, so it made me hesitate.

I understand there are some issues with child-families vs. no child, but I don’t want to limit it to that. I think community is supposed to be greater encompassing, as there’s many people with grown children, many elderly, and many young unmarried people. Community to me, is supposed to be for everyone and not divided along age, race, marital status, etc.

Xantippe-- I also read her blog, too.

A few thoughts:

1. I think you’re right about the lack of advantage of having two sets of kids (especially in a public place). I’ve spent many museum trips where my kid shot off in one direction whereas my friend’s kid shot off in the other, which really killed the chance to talk. Also, as you correctly note, a friend who doesn’t have her arms full of baby or toddler is in a better position to grab another baby or toddler.
2. I think that at some point, when you have enough friends or a dense enough network of friends or enough spontaneous interactions through involvement in the same stuff, community just kind of spontaneously emerges. That’s been my experience.
3. I’ve often noticed the vibrant ethnic parish (Polish, Spanish, Maronite or whatever). There’s such a BUZZ after Mass at those parishes. (I do know some Polish and we used to go to a Polish parish in MD.) But I wonder how much room those communities have for non-ethnics.
4. I think you’re right about the need for more demographic flexibility.
5. I’m glad you like The Practical Conservative! Along with the lady that does Seraphic Singles/Edinburgh housewife, she’s my favorite new-to-me blogger. There are a lot of sacred cows involving parenthood and SAHMs, and The Practical Conservative does a very good job BBQing them.

 

[Bataar]

FWIW, I also do not have a community. It used to stress me out a lot more, but over the years, I’ve come closer to accepting it.

 

[Norm_The_Robot]

If I stop to think about it, it is totally bizarre to me that my wife and I have a social life that pretty much revolves around our church community. But it does.

Our kids are in the parish school and I think that is what kind of sucked us in but it is nice. My wife often remarks that is pretty cool to go to church on Sunday and to feel like we belong. Like we are really part of the parish…rather than just attendees filling up a pew every sunday.

 

[Xantippe]

If I stop to think about it, it is totally bizarre to me that my wife and I have a social life that pretty much revolves around our church community. But it does.

Our kids are in the parish school and I think that is what kind of sucked us in but it is nice. My wife often remarks that is pretty cool to go to church on Sunday and to feel like we belong. Like we are really part of the parish…rather than just attendees filling up a pew every sunday.

Right.

A school (if it isn’t huge) often forms a natural community.

 

[misspriss]

1. I’m talking about people that flat-out refuse to socialize with non-parents or people that don’t have children exactly the same age.
2. Growing up, there was a childless couple (wife a school teacher, husband an artist) that lived next door. They were absolutely lovely people and they were great with kids and our lives were intertwined in many ways over the years. Don’t underestimate childless people.
3. It’s true, though, that I kind of cringe at some stuff I did when I was an early 20-something. I was actually helpful (to the best of my abilities), but I didn’t recognize the level of responsibility that my friend had to her kid.
4. Not all zoos are horribly expensive. The Washington DC zoo is free. For our local zoo (which is small, but really nice), a yearly family membership is $75 and includes a fat pack of free passes for friends. So we can go to the zoo as often as we like–and the more often we go, the cheaper each visit works out to be. I was just checking, and even in some bigger cities (for instance Dallas and Pittsburgh), a family zoo pass costs under $100 a year.

Our children’s museum also costs $75 a year for a family membership, but you can bring half a dozen people in per visit on a single membership, and they don’t all have to be from the same household. Children’s museums are also fun for just walking around and talking while kids run around pressing buttons, turning gears and climbing into toy school buses and Cozy Coupes, etc.

1. Another suggestion–playgrounds with fences, gates with latches and picnic tables. Best thing ever. I practically used to live at a couple like that in Washington DC.
2. We also used to host a lot of movie nights at our house when our two oldest children were that age. Initially, it was part of a job (we lived in a dorm and my husband was supposed to do programming for students) but later on, we just did it for fun. I haven’t done that for a while, though–but I plan to get back to it. Over the years, we’ve hosted dozens and dozens of movie nights. It worked particularly well when our middle child’s bedtime was 6:30.
3. There’s a college Christian women’s book club in our area that looks like it does a very good job integrating parents and non-parents. One of the times I went, one of the non-parents was talking about how she feels TOTALLY prepared to have a baby now just by attending book club.

Yeah, I don’t flat out refuse, but I do find it few and far between. The only childless people I socialize now with are family, but it is only because I don’t really have any friends and don’t know how to make them. It’s been a problem all my life.

It’s true, we could get an annual pass for around $100 or so, but last time we went it was such a disappointment I’d hate to spend that much money on it. We went with some family from another state, and they were shocked at what disrepair our zoo was in compared to the one in their state.

I do need to find a good park, but my son is not quite old enough for most playground equipment. He is big enough to climb it but scared of slides and nearly walked off the ledge of the last playground structure he was on, so it pretty much involves an adult staying glued to him to make sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous, and that is hard to do while caring for a baby who can’t even sit up yet.

I do think it will be easier when some of my kids are older, but we don’t really plan on quitting having children, so I will always probably have some smaller ones. It makes some things difficult as I can’t trust my 2 year old to play on playground equipment yet.

I wish my church did some stuff more for families with small children, we don’t have a nursery or even a cry room, and there is not childcare for anything. Like the ladies group is having their annual luncheon this month, but not only do I have to pay a pretty hefty ticket price, I have to also find and pay for childcare. I’d be so much more likely to socialize with the church and attend bible studies and what not if childcare were provided. This would be a great way to mix those with kids with those without, but it is mostly those with older children or those without children in the home anymore and leaves young parents feeling isolated and left out. I did bring it up with our previous priest, he basically said there was no room nor high enough demand for childcare so it could not be done. We have a new one now, maybe I should mention it.

 

[Xantippe]

It’s true, we could get an annual pass for around $100 or so, but last time we went it was such a disappointment I’d hate to spend that much money on it. We went with some family from another state, and they were shocked at what disrepair our zoo was in compared to the one in their state.

I do need to find a good park, but my son is not quite old enough for most playground equipment. He is big enough to climb it but scared of slides and nearly walked off the ledge of the last playground structure he was on, so it pretty much involves an adult staying glued to him to make sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous, and that is hard to do while caring for a baby who can’t even sit up yet.

I do think it will be easier when some of my kids are older, but we don’t really plan on quitting having children, so I will always probably have some smaller ones. It makes some things difficult as I can’t trust my 2 year old to play on playground equipment yet.

I wish my church did some stuff more for families with small children, we don’t have a nursery or even a cry room, and there is not childcare for anything. Like the ladies group is having their annual luncheon this month, but not only do I have to pay a pretty hefty ticket price, I have to also find and pay for childcare. I’d be so much more likely to socialize with the church and attend bible studies and what not if childcare were provided. This would be a great way to mix those with kids with those without, but it is mostly those with older children or those without children in the home anymore and leaves young parents feeling isolated and left out. I did bring it up with our previous priest, he basically said there was no room nor high enough demand for childcare so it could not be done. We have a new one now, maybe I should mention it.

1. Lousy zoos can be pretty lousy.
2. Sometime very soon, your older child should develop a sense of self-preservation on playground equipment, although he’ll still probably need a lot supervision around swings.
3. I would definitely try the new priest again.