Do you struggle with same-sex attraction?

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My struggle with this whole situation is that I try and support the teachings of the Church, however I can see both sides of the question. It really is difficult for me. I understand why the Church teaches that engaging in homosexual activities is wrong, but I also understand the love two people can share, whether they be both male, both female, or members of the opposite sex.

I struggle with the idea that love is a bad thing. I struggle with the thought that love should be legislated. I struggle with the idea that the Church will move heaven and earth to help a person with any sin, except the sin of homosexuality, and then the person suddenly turns into a leper and everyone is in fear of contamination (and don’t tell me that happens, because it happens all the time).

I struggle with the idea of “hate the sin and love the sinner”. Not because I don’t think we should hate sin, but because it is so difficult to seperate the two.

I hate the prejudices against homosexuals and bi-sexuals. *Most *people, when they see a gay man, don’t just think “there’s a man”, but “there’s a gay man”.

I am married with three small children. When I was younger, I dated both men and women. Even though that was many years ago, I still, from time to time, find myself attracted to another woman. For me, life can be, at times, extremely lonely. I have great difficulty making friends with other women because I have a fear of somehow becoming attracted to them. So, I keep my distance. I think many people who struggle with SSA have to also deal with that same lonliness.

Well, enough of my ramblings. I just wanted to post my thoughts.

Scout :tiphat:
 
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PureGrace:
I love your story. Why did you decide to make turn towards chastity?
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Thanks, Katherine. So many things were happening in my life during the Jubilee Year. It’s only in hindsight that I now realize how they all helped me to become more dedicated to living a life of chastity. Of course, I’m sure the Holy Spirit was always there, quietly but persistently knocking on the walls of my stony heart. Then there was Courage (www.couragerc.net), which Contemplative mentioned earlier. They have been a Godsend. It truly helps to have friends who totally understand what you’re going through, have the same values, and have the same determination as I hope to have in living for God and God alone.
 
SCOUT, You are truly a wiser person than you may think that you are. Thank you for posting here and letting me know that are still some sane folk in this world of double standards and people who think that they have a “corner” on the truth. All the God-like people who are so self rightious and think that they hold the direct line to the mind of our Creator should take a look truly deep into their hearts and try to understand the bigotry that rules their belief system.
 
Contemplative…Why not let those here know that in truth I am your ***** *******? Why do you need to hide behind this screen? Why not let the room know that you really were raised in a wonderful loving home but in your adult life chose to distance yourself and condeme your loving parents for your imagined issues. Now here you choose to even involve me, your brother and air made up issues that you imagine to make you (name removed by moderator)ortant to others. Speak truth! Stop attacking those that only loved you .
 
#3This is NOT really a discussion about Catholics struggling with Same Sex Attraction rather this is supposed to be a source of lessons on Why being born Gay is in opposision to Gods creation and therefore sinnful.
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LOL!

If you actually read the discussion, its nothing like that. It IS really a discussion about Catholics struggling with Same Sex Attraction.

Its about homosexual Catholics sharing their stories about how we deal with our emotions and attractions, live chastely, and what we believe to be our psychological motives.

And first of all, no one here is teaching that “being gay” is sinful or in opposition to God’s creation.

Secondly, we generally do not believe that people are “being born gay” but honestly examine our psyche’s and find obvious root causes. But, whether people are born gay, or whether it is a complex combination of factors including environmental…no one is saying being gay is a sin. And whether it is something innate or not, either way the sex acts are sinful and against the whole meaning of sex.

I’ve debated with homosexuals who have embraced their sexuality before, and they seem always to be very bitter and on the constant offensive. It’s like your speaking right past them. You present arguments, but they do not address them really. They just keep pushing their diatribe and agenda. They keep berating your position in a way that does not address the specific issues put in front of them.

Please, actually read the whole thread, and share your reasoned arguments about why you believe homosexual sex is not wrong, and why you believe you were born that way. Not by just citing studies, for there are many conflicting studies, but why you chose to believe “your” studies instead of “our” studies. No science is completely unbiased, especially when it comes to picking and choosing your evidence. Pre-existant feelings always get involved.

And by the way, feelings are in no way a source of evidence or intrinsically good. We can potentially induce any feeling, even affection and attraction (aka “love”) with a drug. Because they are just a firing of neurons and chemicals in the brain. Feelings mean nothing, ultimately. They are animal passions in our lower faculties. Real love of any type is a simple act of the free will toward the good of another…it need not be accompanied by any “feeling” or “emotion”.
 
World Citizen:
Contemplative…Why not let those here know that in truth I am your older brother? Why do you need to hide behind this screen? Why not let the room know that you really were raised in a wonderful loving home but in your adult life chose to distance yourself and condeme your loving parents for your imagined issues. Now here you choose to even involve me, your brother and air made up issues that you imagine to make you (name removed by moderator)ortant to others. Speak truth! Stop attacking those that only loved you .
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World Citizen,
You have entered this thread doing nothing but fighting and punching. I am sorry you feel this way. Perhaps you need to stop for a moment and reread the thread and try again by sharing, caring, listening and responding responsibly. I will pray for you.
 
CONTEMPLATIVE aka.****** ********, I have prayed for you often . Our whole family has prayed for you often but it seems that your heart has not been open to God and the family that loved you as we all loved each other. Please do not taunt our elderly parents( Dad is almost 80 ) they do not need to know how you imagined your childhood. Your brothers and sister do not need this either so please try to not lash out at us here or on any other medium that you are using now days.
 
And yet, for some reason, based on your demeanor and hers…I am inclined to believe HER interpretation of things…
 
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Scout:
I struggle with the idea that the Church will move heaven and earth to help a person with any sin, except the sin of homosexuality, and then the person suddenly turns into a leper and everyone is in fear of contamination
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I would counter that I’ve seen ministries dedicated to helping those afflicted with this temptation, but I’ve never seen a ministry dedicated to helping those afflicted with a dozen other temptations.

I will agree, though, that many people (even many in these fora) are more vocal in their condemnation of same-sex fornication than they are about, say, solitary fornication (masturbation) or hetereosexual fornication.
 
World Citizen:
CONTEMPLATIVE aka.****** ********, I have prayed for you often . Our whole family has prayed for you often but it seems that your heart has not been open to God and the family that loved you as we all loved each other. Please do not taunt our elderly parents( Dad is almost 80 ) they do not need to know how you imagined your childhood. Your brothers and sister do not need this either so please try to not lash out at us here or on any other medium that you are using now days.
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You are far off topic. You need to stick to the theme of the thread. These concerns of yours are not to be posted in a public forum.

I am hardly aka

Look 🙂 http://TheContemplative.com/
 
World Citizen:
SCOUT, You are truly a wiser person than you may think that you are. Thank you for posting here and letting me know that are still some sane folk in this world of double standards and people who think that they have a “corner” on the truth. All the God-like people who are so self rightious and think that they hold the direct line to the mind of our Creator should take a look truly deep into their hearts and try to understand the bigotry that rules their belief system.
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Thank-you for those kind words. It’s just that I don’t mind admitting that I don’t have all the answers and there are a great many things I don’t understand.

The fact is that we can judge a person’s actions, but we can never judge their hearts-and that is where motive comes from. That is why the Church teaches that a sin for one person might not be a sin for another, because it’s all based on motives of the heart, and no one but God Himself can see what’s in a person’s heart.

Scout :tiphat:
 
Batteddy, She has been doing the same thing for many year and if the (name removed by moderator)ression that I give to you is angry then I say to you you are correct. This sad and hurtful behavior has been going on for years…too many years. My other sibling are as upset and hurt by these actions and mean words but have almost learned to expect it on any given time. The attacks against my sexuality from my sister have been on and off over the years. Sometime a nasty phone call sometimes a face to face judgment call from her. I am not alone in the recieving of this. All our family , parents included often are on the recieving end mean hateful crule words. I only ask that it stop and that she seek help in her issues imagined.
 
World Citizen:
Batteddy, She has been doing the same thing for many year and if the (name removed by moderator)ression that I give to you is angry then I say to you you are correct. This sad and hurtful behavior has been going on for years…too many years. My other sibling are as upset and hurt by these actions and mean words but have almost learned to expect it on any given time. The attacks against my sexuality from my sister have been on and off over the years. Sometime a nasty phone call sometimes a face to face judgment call from her. I am not alone in the recieving of this. All our family , parents included often are on the recieving end mean hateful crule words. I only ask that it stop and that she seek help in her issues imagined.
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blatant bad mouthing and lies :tsktsk:
 
Conemplative, Your sneaky use of this web site is just another example of how low you go to be hurtful to your own family. This is always been your way. It is only sad that others read your lies and believe you to be someone that you are not.Deception…sound familiar. There is another that does the same as you.
 
World Citizen, most of us here understand how VERY effective early childhood relationships and experiences, especially with parents and within the family, can be to one psychologically.

Something that now we may look back at and shrug off as trivial, can be a HUGE trauma to a child. Those of us who can still relate to ourselves-as-children will not just remember the events…but the monumental signifigance we attatched to them because of our small size, young age, and lack of experience in the world.

A child not getting the toy they wanted for Christmas may seem trivial to us now, but to a child the emotions and psychological effect created can be huge.

Perhaps the reason you feel you were born gay, is because you now look back and don’t see anything you think would have caused it. You don’t see any sexual abuse or anything big like that…and so assume that you were born that way.

But your sister has noticed things like your taunting brothers which you may dismiss or trivialize or try to diminish and minimalize the importance of…but you must remember that to children…even yourself as a child…things dismissed as trivial by an adult can be monumentally emotionally and psychologically important.

Looking back, as an adult, you may see your family as loving and not particularly disfunctional. Looking “back” none of us really see our families as disfunctional. But if we do not look “back” in retrospect…but rather try to remember what it was like at the time…we will see that, to highly impressionable children, most of our families did have huge impacts for the negative and the positive…and we could indeed be effected for the rest of our lives due to things from our early days that may seem trivial now…but at the time were very important to our psyche
 
Notice:

This thread is now closed. Thanks to all who participated in the discussion.
 
Well, they closed the old thread. Probably because it is against the rules of conduct to reveal things about people’s outside lives…

But, if World Citizen and Contemplative can agree to not discuss their family personally (as Contemplative said, World Citizen came in punching and fighting and brought the thread way off topic) then perhaps we can continue the FRIENDLY discussion about same-sex-attraction that was going on before World Citizen came in on the attack.

He may still respond respectfully, but lets take some time to cool down, and not get another thread shut down!
 
Notice:

For the time being, until tempers cool, please leave the discussion closed. Thanks!
 
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