Doctor Wants My Wife On The Pill

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Yeah, I think “parents” is the right term for people who use the “RHYTHM METHOD.” But I have yet to meet a person born after 1950 who uses the Rhythm Method.

I have some materials from the Couple to Couple League (who teach the Sympto-Thermal method). They talk about couples for whom it is very important to avoid pregnancy and the ways to use NFP. There are some who choose only to have relations at the end of the woman’s cycle. Taking your temperatures and observing the other signs will allow you to tell very accurately when you ovulate, so judging your fertility is MUCH easier after ovulation than before. NFP is still very effective even if used the more common way, but I think the rates of “success” (that is avoiding pregnancy) are very very high when waiting til the end of the month. Considering you are willing to completely abstain, this may be a middle ground your wife can get on board with.
 
Nothing is 100%…except abstinence and if medical reasons dictate…then that would be the reliable “method” to use. Many people who are in “invalid” marriages must be doing that from what I have read on the different posts in the forums.

:heart:Blyss
 
DH & I have been using NFP successfully for 10 yrs. to avoid a pregnancy because I have a bloodclotting disorder (my body throws clots/I’ve had 4 already) that was dxed after I had a stroke in 2005. Even the neurologists who treated me told me had I been on “the pill”, I wouldn’t be here.

Thank GOD for NFP because it’s safe, easy to learn, it doesn’t interact with any of the medications I am on unlike the pill which DOES interfere with many medications & causes serious, even life threatening side effects like heart attacks, stroke, blood clots, etc.

Our NFP practitioner who is an RN, is extremely experienced in pts. w/serious health issues so when I had questions regarding my cycle due to the meds I was on after my stroke, she got us through the questionable fertile time w/o any problems. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.

God Bless.
 
I couldn’t vote in the poll–there’s no option that says, “Find a top-notch, pro-life OB/GYN.”

If you go to www.fertilitycare.org, you will be able to search the USA & Canada for a Creighton Model/NaProTechnology instructor.

www.aafcp.org is the American Academy of Fertility Care Professionals.

www.popepaulvi.com is the site for the Pope Paul VI Institute in Nebraska.

One More Soul has a search feature for NFP only physicians in the US & Canada, as well.

There are so many options for you! Don’t give up hope, and don’t limit the possibilities available by falling into the thinking that secular drs. are by default “better” in high-risk cases than NFP-only docs. Not so!

Your doctor sounds scared–for many reasons, but probably ultimately of being sued…so she’s taking what she thinks is the “safe” route according to what’s being taught in medical school these days (or possibly decades ago, depending on when she went to school.)

Start researching all the good links you’ve been given, making calls, and scheduling appts. with new doctors who will actually respect their patient’s wishes.

God bless you both!
 
I’m with everyone that is telling you to get good at NFP. Too many docs just jump onto the “take the pill, it’ll help” mentality. And if you have more than two kids, most docs will ask if you want your tubes tied, or you want the pill or even question your sanity if you are pregnant with more. I’ve even had a doc refuse my Catholicity by telling me “Half the women that come in here are Catholic and they’re asking me for the pill.”

I encourage you to learn NFP. You’ve been provided the info I was going to post already.

My best friend’s sister is in the hospital right now with a severe blood clot caused by the pill. She’s only 22. My best friend has been trying to get her to get off the pill for about 5 years now.

good luck and I’ll keep you and your wife in my prayers. 🙂
 
So she’s a perinatologist? They ARE hard to find. But she should be willing to listen to your wife’s concerns and adjust her recommendations accordingly. If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your wife’s problem. If you don’t wanna share, no biggie. My wife had to visit a perinatologist regularly with our first b/c of one crazy test result. Subsequent pregnancies have been just fine and very routine even though she still pays at least one visit to the specialist.
 
I would also talk to a priest, before making a decision. There are medical reasons for being able to take bc pills (from a Catholic perspective), so it might be worth exploring with a priest or a Catholic counselor to see what their thoughts are.
 
Whatevergirl is right, I would recommend talking to your priest. This is difficult.
 
Hard to find or not, I think dump the doc.

Moral reasons aside, physically, the pill is SOOOOOO BAD for the body. This could possibly cause worse health problems than her original problems.

I have been doing creighton method for my health for 4 years (I’m not married and chaste) and I go to an NFP only doc. He could see my probs from my charts and fixed them naturally. The pill just masks symptoms. It is so so so bad.

www.omsoul.com has a list of NFP only doctors. Possibly calling one closest to you could give a recomendation
 
cargopilot said:
We can’t just dump the doctor. This doctor’s specialty is hard to find and she’s about the best, in this town.
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I’d go to the second best, or to the next town. :eek: Who needs that kind of harrassment to go on the pill. Mail the doctor some information on the effectiveness of NFP! 👍
 
Allow me to expand just a little bit on the doctor situation. The doctor in question is not an OB/GYN, but an endocrinologist. In my city of one million, there are but a handfull of these, and of those, this one is the best and has been caring for my wife for a number of years. The odds of finding a pro-life endo in this town are ZERO. Switching to another endocrinologist about a disagreement over which my wife still has the final say, is not an option. She can still refuse an Rx for the pill.

She also has one of the best OB/GYN’s in the state who has recently delivered our third child. He has offered ABC, but when refused, he dropped it and hasn’t brought it up again. He knows we’re Catholic, and just leaves it at that. He has said that if she gets pregnant again, “We’ll just deal with it”, not pushing the gloom and doom. He seems far less concerned about another pregnancy killing my dear wife.

We’ll probably see Father about this. I anticipate he may not want to over-rule any doctor, and just give us a pass on the pill. Sometimes, Father has a tough time telling his flock the straight-dope on the really tough issues.

I really appreciate all the helpful comments and links. I knew I could count on y’all for tons of advice. Please, keep it coming.
 
Cargo,

I’d be wary of approaching Father if that is what you suspect he’ll say. Especially since it appears that your wife is leaning towards taking the pill.

Perhaps we ought to start a thread in which we discuss “taking risks”.

Why is it that we can’t expect our wives to “risk their lives”?

Do you not risk your life every time you fly?

Yes indeed, there is a risk that another pregnancy could kill your wife. Suppose you just rule out the Pill as an option. So now you’ve got to weigh this risk of using NFP, vs. living as Mary and Joseph.

Is your intimacy “to die for” so-to-speak?

Now if you think solely in terms of the personal pleasure - perhaps it’s not. But if you think in terms of what the Church says about physical intimacy and all that it is …
 
We are in a similar situation, only I do have specific medical issues which warrant a reason to postpone pregnancy possibly indefinitely. (I think you said your wife’s is non-specific, just a generally dangerous thing to do given a few factors…?) Another pregnancy for me at this time would be life-threatening.

I just returned from my endo this morning where I got the same “will you please consider taking an oral contraceptive” speech that I get every time I go. She’s very concerned about me not being on the pill, but she herself is Catholic and is understanding of me choosing not to do so. I have a medical condition which would warrant it, but I don’t want to mask my symptoms–I want to treat the underlying cause.

Just to clarify for you, there are no free passes on issues like birth control pills, at least not in the situation I think I’m understanding from you. Unless your wife would be using them to treat a specific medical condition–such as, PCOS or endometriosis or heavy bleeding, etc., using them specifically to avoid a pregnancy is contracepting. Maybe I’m misunderstanding, but it sounds like you would be using them in order to avoid a pregnancy due to other medical issues. Which is never morally okay… and is not the same thing as “using the pill for medical reasons.” The pill is not therapeutic in this case, from what you have indicated. Plus, the pill is an abortofacient. Aside from the moral issues, the health risks are enormous and I think those have been adequately pointed out in this thread.

My husband and I have been abstaining for over a year. It’s difficult but do-able. I’ve been charting using the Creighton Model of NFP. I am on other medications to treat my issues. The reason we abstain is that I have not ovulated yet (I’m ten months post partum) and we are waiting until I have a slightly more predictable cycle in order to keep our relations to phase III, the most conservative way in which to practice NFP.
 
Ok I didn’t choose any because I think you should go find a good Catholic doctor and see what happens there. One issue though on the pill would be the possibility of killing unborn children. The thought ought to make you impotent.:eek: Anyway, I think you should follow what God says to you in your prayers.
 
Issues around N.F P . has to be difficult and can test the whole area of wisdom , commitment to Faith and the needed discipine , an area where more help to the young would be useful , to give many that rest - from that sense of having to be vigilant as opposed to being more ’ natural , relaxed ’ …

Ther are no major breakthroughs medically in this area , esp. regarding the whole topic of the women’s fertile phase that also coincide with her natural inclinations , which is what make N.F.P sound ’ unnatural’ (being not in accordance with natural instincts) .-esp. to those who are alien to the area of mortification of senses , desire etc: ( which is all very worthy for those who have recahed that level )

It is not too long ago that through these forums, came across the devotion of the Green scapular ( please bear with this if any is tempted to - well , be a little scornful at something that sound ’ oldfashioned ’ ) ; its promise of the grace of conversion and a sense of deeper rest and peace that come with it , a little more desire to pray with expectant faith for the intended , all can be very useful help in this area - to lessen the struggle for mastery over passions ; would it not be good if many couples decide to use it - even leave it in the physican’s office - ( ?under the chair ) start praying and wait expectantly 🙂

May be our willingness to be faithful in little things - to acknowledge the need to recieve help and the need for conversion, also help to bring the blessings !

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us now and at the hour of our death .
 
cargopilot said:
Allow me to expand just a little bit on the doctor situation. The doctor in question is not an OB/GYN, but an endocrinologist. In my city of one million, there are but a handfull of these, and of those, this one is the best and has been caring for my wife for a number of years. The odds of finding a pro-life endo in this town are ZERO. Switching to another endocrinologist about a disagreement over which my wife still has the final say, is not an option. She can still refuse an Rx for the pill.

She also has one of the best OB/GYN’s in the state who has recently delivered our third child. He has offered ABC, but when refused, he dropped it and hasn’t brought it up again. He knows we’re Catholic, and just leaves it at that. He has said that if she gets pregnant again, “We’ll just deal with it”, not pushing the gloom and doom. He seems far less concerned about another pregnancy killing my dear wife.

We’ll probably see Father about this. I anticipate he may not want to over-rule any doctor, and just give us a pass on the pill. Sometimes, Father has a tough time telling his flock the straight-dope on the really tough issues.

I really appreciate all the helpful comments and links. I knew I could count on y’all for tons of advice. Please, keep it coming.
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It sounds like you KNOW the pill is wrong, and bad for your wife, yet why does it also sound like you’re trying to get your priest to tell you that the doctor is right? The doctor doesn’t KNOW what is right. Your priest cannot tell you it is right. The pill is wrong, plain and simple.
You don’t have to abstain forever. You and your wife CAN learn NFP and feel confident about it. Here’s the creighton model website. Go to the class. creightonmodel.com/
 
I would disregard the doctor and just start practicing natural family planning. The doctor is obviously misinformed about natural family planning as natural family planning is very effective at preventing pregnancy if practiced correctly. I must also say that I would strongly discourage your wife from going on the pill as that would make her in violation of Church teaching.
 
annb said:
It sounds like you KNOW the pill is wrong, and bad for your wife, yet why does it also sound like you’re trying to get your priest to tell you that the doctor is right? The doctor doesn’t KNOW what is right. Your priest cannot tell you it is right. The pill is wrong, plain and simple.
You don’t have to abstain forever. You and your wife CAN learn NFP and feel confident about it. Here’s the creighton model website. Go to the class. creightonmodel.com/
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I agree with you on everything you say.

Let me add that I’m apprehensive about seeing Father on this. From a previous post, I stated, “We’ll probably see Father about this. I anticipate he may not want to over-rule any doctor, and just give us a pass on the pill. Sometimes, Father has a tough time telling his flock the straight-dope on the really tough issues.” What may have not been clear in this statement was that we really DO know what’s right and I think it possible that Father wouldn’t really lay it on the line. In a way, I can see where a Priest might just take the path of least resistance and soft-pedal the issue. Perhaps fearful of offering ‘medical advise’, lawsuits or simply not wanting to hurt or offend us in some way, when really, we truly do want honest answers. This is why I feel I can turn here. I do thank everyone for the links, advise and honesty.

I’d rather live as Joseph and Mary than see her go on the pill. We can ease into NFP on my dear wife’s own time.
 
If the doctor is calling NFP the rhythm method, I think the methods used to conceive are not the expertise of this doctor. If she does not know what she is talking about, your much better off talking to someone who does know what they are talking about. If you choose something else, just tell her, “You said, ‘you know what they call people who use the rhythm method, parents.’ If you cannot tell me the difference between the rhythm method and NFP, I’ll take the answers from someone who does. If I went to an orthopedic doctor, do you think they’d give me better advise than you as far as this problem goes? When it comes to matters of pregnancy, I’ll get a second opinion.”
 
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