Does anyone hate being a woman?

[LethalMouse]

Yeah there are plenty of research articles that show how negative self talk affects stuff like dart throwing, swimming etc

I’m honestly just weird to be honest. I don’t thrive when I’m positive. My best grades I’ve ever gotten was during a time where i had a BMI of 14 and was slicing up my arms. I’m honestly weird. Don’t try to figure me out lol! Positive self talk has always made me uncomfortable as if I’m lying to myself. Unless i know if what I’m saying is true (like um, green is a good color on me). But the whole practice (although I would say it’s useful for others and I thank you for bringing it up) always makes me feel worse

I’m not generally a sad person, I’m one of those people that will die laughing if someone says a pun. It’s just that I’m aware that I’m not as great as others/am a defect or something

My whole point being we can be aware of this and not need to be sad about it. Many are “greater” than me… doesnt make me a piece of worthless scum i don’t think so anyway lol.

 

[Lea101]

My whole point being we can be aware of this and not need to be sad about it. Many are “greater” than me… doesnt make me a piece of worthless scum i don’t think so anyway lol.

I feel like every time you notice a new post from me, you roll your eyes

And hey, it’s hard not to feel sad when these things prevent you from getting what you want IMO. The thing(s) I like about myself are stuff that has 0 impact on my life. It’s honestly pathetic to the point when on days when I’m not PMSing, I laugh

 

[LethalMouse]

I feel like every time you notice a new post from me, you roll your eyes

And hey,** it’s hard not to feel sad when these things prevent you from getting what you want **IMO. The thing(s) I like about myself are stuff that has 0 impact on my life. It’s honestly pathetic to the point when on days when I’m not PMSing, I laugh

I wanted to play 3rd base for a pro baseball team. I wanted a marriage like my grandparents that lasted until death.

I work blue collar and am divorced…

I moved here for a job that I only get to do part time instead of full time, my full time is less my fav and pays less.

I thought I was going to marry my ex gf and we were going to open a restaurant together… she left me for another guy and she thought he was going to move in with her… they broke up.

I wanted 20 acres of land… I got 7

I want my worthless uncle to have an epiphany and become useful and move out… he will probably pass away some day watching tv on my couch.

I want to have 20/20 vision and not wear glasses… I can barely see things a foot away without my glasses

I want alot I can’t or won’t have for one reason or another… if I felt sad I would be a sad sorry person full of misery and detest. If I love God and find the good in my life I am happy and can enjoy not perhaps all that I “want” but all that I have.

I want 20 acres but I enjoy my 7
I want my other job but mine has good pay/benifits/easy/schedule…

And most notably as my grandmother would point out what would really be if we get what we want?

My car broke once. I was stuck in a parking lot for a standard easy to predict timed drive. Annoying and such. Then right where I would have been based on standard drive time there was a massive deadly multicar accident that based on my knowledge of the drive happened exactly where and when I should have been on my way home…

Perhaps as much as I wanted my car to not break, oerhaos it was better that it did? Here I am typing to you instead of being smashed to death

 

[irishpatrick]

You obviously have not read any of my posts. I detest being a woman too. I hate that our worth is based on fertility, youth and beauty which can easily be lost and will eventually deteriorate. Men can trade in their old wives for a pretty new one. Women cannot have civil friends with each other. Eve is blamed for the fall of man. During marriage, it is a woman’s responsibility to care for her adult husband and little children. Women think more emotionally than logically. What big contributions have women made to history.

AS a man, my thoughst probably won’t mean much, but here they are anyway.

1. A woman’s worth is not based in their fertility–it is based in the fact that they bear the image and likeness of God.
2. The degradation of youth and beauty applies to both sexes. There are many millions of middle aged men who are growing fat and bald. lol
3. Any man who trades in their wife has real issues.
4. The Fall was more the fault of Adam, than Eve. Adam was the first human and he was told directly by God not to eat from the tree. He should have stood between his wife (Eve) and the serpent and said no. Instead, he weakly gave in to his fleshy desires and ate from the tree. I believe Adam is to blame, not Eve.
5. A great many men now take care of children. Gone are the days of the 1950s.
6. Besides the fact that a great many women have contributed to history, let us not forget two very important points: other than Jesus, the holiest person to ever live was Mary, a woman. And do not forget that every human being (other than Adam and Eve), who have walked this world did so because of a woman!
7. And lest we minimize her importance, none of us would find salvation if not for Christ, and Christ would not have been born if not for Mary’s yes! As great as the Apostles were, and as great as many of the Popes were, none of them would have walked the earth without a woman!

Finally, everyone suffers in this life–everyone. The problem I see today is so few people have an eternal outlook. We must always keep our eyes focused on eternity, not on this life. I know for a young person, that is quite hard to do because at 18 years old their lives seem to have an ocean of years let to live. But, the truth is, even someone who lives to 80-90 will tell you live is but a mist. Eternity is where we should focus. That’s not to say we should not live our lives and try to enjoy them, for God wants us to do all that–yet in the end. eternity is the most important focus.

I am guessing that the happiest people are those who understand life is tough and that genuine evil exists. Those people understand it isn’t going to be easy, yet they know in the end (if they have run a good race), the Lord will lift them up into eternity.

 

[Entwhistler]

I know some guys who are desperate to love and be loved, but I get what you are saying. I wonder why they are like that. It has gotten to a point where a sensitive and loving man is seen as ‘whipped’ by his friends

If that’s the case then our definition of manhood is seriously warped. We have made manhood as something to be frowned upon or something to be ridiculed. In fact, the weak-kneed men are responsible for the objectification of women that is so obvious in the check-out line of a store. Along with degrading themselves they degrade women too. Women feel they have to be like those models in order to be loved.

Guys: Man up for crying out loud!

 

[Jake_Parker]

If that’s the case then our definition of manhood is seriously warped. We have made manhood as something to be frowned upon or something to be ridiculed. In fact, the weak-kneed men are responsible for the objectification of women that is so obvious in the check-out line of a store. Along with degrading themselves they degrade women too. Women feel they have to be like those models in order to be loved.

Guys: Man up for crying out loud!

Unfortunately, many guys hear this and think:
I need to be macho, grab a gun, grab a beer, be loud, and act tough.

In reality, it should be:
Look at Christ, the image of God as a man. THAT is what should be thought of when people say to “man up.” Be more like Jesus, work towards loving people unconditionally, putting the needs of others before your own, taking time to minister to the most outcast in society, and to be good fathers/sons/friends.

 

[SilverShadow22]

By the same token, females need to ‘woman up’ and thereby help men be men…

 

[LethalMouse]

Unfortunately, many guys hear this and think:
I need to be macho, grab a gun, grab a beer, be loud, and act tough.

In reality, it should be:
Look at Christ, the image of God as a man. THAT is what should be thought of when people say to “man up.” Be more like Jesus, work towards loving people unconditionally, putting the needs of others before your own, taking time to minister to the most outcast in society, and to be good fathers/sons/friends.

The weak and scared man goes into prison and attacks the first big guy he sees so none will attack and defeat him.

The strong and unafraid man goes in and attacks no one, and defeats who might attack him.

It is funny, some people ar etough and happen to “seem tough” but most scary tough guys are not really.

I think of a guy who has done crines and didnt attend a family funeral.
He is seen sorta as a jerk and bada.

But why? Well he does crimes because as a scared kid he ran from hime and knew not how to actually “man up”

Why not care about the funeral? Well because he can not mentally or physically stomach it.

Now in some cases in higher relation to this thread, the persmception is a factor even if the man is not being tough to be mean or cast falsness.

“I don’t care about the breakup” may have less to do with lying and acting tough to you and more to do with whike you cried for an hour, he if he acknowledges it may cry for 4 days and miss work.

Sometimes things arent what they seem.

 

[Entwhistler]

Unfortunately, many guys hear this and think:
I need to be macho, grab a gun, grab a beer, be loud, and act tough.

In reality, it should be:
Look at Christ, the image of God as a man. THAT is what should be thought of when people say to “man up.” Be more like Jesus, work towards loving people unconditionally, putting the needs of others before your own, taking time to minister to the most outcast in society, and to be good fathers/sons/friends.

Right, being a man does not just mean being tough.

 

[Trident_H]

You are making me feel bad because I’m not even in college lol! I’m studying pre-u psychology (to be fair it’s like a degree but I’m pretty sure it’s not as advanced/not the same amount of content) and after that, if I do well, I can hopefully go to a university and get me degree and hopefully Masters. 99.9% of people my age are studying some sort of pre-u education, be it A Levels or diploma or SATs and so on. If you are confused, I understand. The education system here is different

As of now I’m paying for my fees thanks to financial assistance but I don’t even know if I’ll be able to pay for uni. My school fees as of now is around 2k a year…so not that much…and tuition fees in a university will probably cause me to live in a box

My course is filled by incredibly smart people and I appreciate you trying to make me feel smart but I’m literally the worst student. Not failing, but like definitely the worst (a B student while everyone else is getting high As probably), and I honestly can’t see why. I’ve been putting a lot of effort. Sigh! (Although it would be nice to pray for me since I’ve just submitted a bunch of assignments + tests and more assignments are coming my way very soon)

I know it’s unwise to try to be the greatest, but it would ne nice if I was great at something.** I’m the only person I know amongst my family and friends that has no obvious gift** besides studying+crying+listening to gospel music 10 mins before an exam paper+having decent enough grades to get into psychology.

And yet I like reading your posts and love your sense of humor.

 

[Lea101]

And yet I like reading your posts and love your sense of humor.

Hahaha, I always see my posts as whiny

 

[SilverShadow22]

I just think men do not become attached as easily. It is their nature while women generally do. Why it works this way? I do not know. It is easier for a man to be callous with sex, women and relationships because they have no real biological clock

Let’s be perfectly blunt here.

If any woman who wants a real reciprocal relationship simply refused to sleep with any man not bound to her by eternal promise there would only be three kinds of women: prostitutes, virgins, and married women.

Both men and women crave deep, abiding love and affection. Both are afraid of failure. Both want to taste the pleasure while shielding themselves from the harm. But they shield (delude themselves) in different ways.

To over-simply generalize:

Men convince themselves that sex won’t/doesn’t/can’t/shouldn’t lead to attachment… While women convince themselves that sex means love.

So women sleep with a man to feel loved and to catch him. He does it for pleasure, and it may or may not lead to attachment. She is heartbroken when her premature gift is not valued… But it’s not valued because it was given away like it had no value. And if she hardens herself because of this repeated scenario… She hurts the man who is actually looking for a committed relationship.

So most men and most women have been hurt, rejected, have been trying to love when with someone who was only seeking pleasure. So they both start to use each other. Men will pretend losing her didn’t hurt. Women will pretend it was all his fault.

Women get comforted for being dumped, and get sympathy for being hurt. Men get ridiculed for not being able to keep her, for falling for her in the first place, or for getting emotionally attached.

Unequal expressed reaction does not prove unequal hurt. There are also women who make a game of using and hurting men, but actually there are far more women just deluding themselves. They have to make the man out to be the villain, or else maybe they will have to bear some responsibility, too.

So I don’t think you can trust the biased reporting of who gets hurt more or more often.

 

[Trident_H]

Let’s be perfectly blunt here.

If any woman who wants a real reciprocal relationship simply refused to sleep with any man not bound to her by eternal promise there would only be three kinds of women: prostitutes, virgins, and married women.

Both men and women crave deep, abiding love and affection. Both are afraid of failure. Both want to taste the pleasure while shielding themselves from the harm. But they shield (delude themselves) in different ways.

To over-simply generalize:

Men convince themselves that sex won’t/doesn’t/can’t/shouldn’t lead to attachment… While women convince themselves that sex means love.

So women sleep with a man to feel loved and to catch him. He does it for pleasure, and it may or may not lead to attachment. She is heartbroken when her premature gift is not valued… But it’s not valued because it was given away like it had no value. And if she hardens herself because of this repeated scenario… She hurts the man who is actually looking for a committed relationship.

So most men and most women have been hurt, rejected, have been trying to love when with someone who was only seeking pleasure. So they both start to use each other. Men will pretend losing her didn’t hurt. Women will pretend it was all his fault.

Women get comforted for being dumped, and get sympathy for being hurt. Men get ridiculed for not being able to keep her, for falling for her in the first place, or for getting emotionally attached.

Unequal expressed reaction does not prove unequal hurt. There are also women who make a game of using and hurting men, but actually there are far more women just deluding themselves. They have to make the man out to be the villain, or else maybe they will have to bear some responsibility, too.

So I don’t think you can trust the biased reporting of who gets hurt more or more often.

Wow Silver. You nailed this.

 

[Lea101]

I don’t hate being a woman, really. There are sometimes I feel a tug like if I were a man then I’d want to be a Priest (though I know I can’t do that and am fine with it!), there’s nothing else about being a man I’d really want. Except for maybe pants with bigger pockets and my fashion tends to be tomboyish anyway.

In all seriousness, I wouldn’t want to be a man, but I can’t say I love every aspect of being a woman. God made me one for a reason, and I may not know why, but that’s what He chose. And I wouldn’t be me as a man too, so there’s also that!

Yeah, what is that with the pockets? My jeans have fake pockets

I wanted to be a priest when I was younger bc I didn’t want to study math lol (bc people always tell me that I had to study math, math is important in all jobs).

Personally, I don’t see how my personality is shaped due to my sex/gender. My mannerism, of course, is shaped by it but I feel like I would be more or less the same person if I am a dude, lol. And even if that’s not true, I don’t care if I’m not ‘me’. ‘Me’ is not special, I’d rather be a brand new ‘me’ if that makes sense.

So I think that’s why I see my gender as a curse rather than a blessing? (The root of the issue)

 

[chevalier]

Women, on the other hand, (for the most part) have trouble just throwing a guy away like trash.

That’s probably a general human problem, not specific to any gender. As a man, I’ve experienced that sort of thing too and been perplexed by the apparent ease with with which it came to the opposite sex.

 

[SilverShadow22]

Yeah, what is that with the pockets? My jeans have fake pockets

I wanted to be a priest when I was younger bc I didn’t want to study math lol (bc people always tell me that I had to study math, math is important in all jobs).

Personally, I don’t see how my personality is shaped due to my sex/gender. My mannerism, of course, is shaped by it but I feel like I would be more or less the same person if I am a dude, lol. And even if that’s not true, I don’t care if I’m not ‘me’. ‘Me’ is not special, I’d rather be a brand new ‘me’ if that makes sense.

So I think that’s why I see my gender as a curse rather than a blessing? (The root of the issue)

Don’t ever reject your femininity because aspects of it are ‘hard’ or ‘looked down upon.’

Raised by my father as something of a tomboy, I nevertheless had no gender confusion, was never told being a girl was inferior, and never wanted to be a boy.

I’m a girl. I own it. But I also try to leave behind some of the gender stereotypes that don’t have to fit. I don’t have to gossip, get involved in intrigue, try to seduce men to feel better about myself, scream if an ant runs across the picnic blanket…

But I also don’t have to pretend I don’t love soft fuzzy pink leopard print blankets, I don’t have to try not to melt over a lapful of squirming kittens, I don’t have to pretend I don’t care when my hair won’t behave, I don’t have to try not to like silver jewelry and feather earrings and black lace.

There’s plenty of variation in femininity to appeal to everyone. Embrace it!

 

[PelagiathePenit]

Let’s be perfectly blunt here.

If any woman who wants a real reciprocal relationship simply refused to sleep with any man not bound to her by eternal promise there would only be three kinds of women: prostitutes, virgins, and married women.

Both men and women crave deep, abiding love and affection. Both are afraid of failure. Both want to taste the pleasure while shielding themselves from the harm. But they shield (delude themselves) in different ways.

To over-simply generalize:

Men convince themselves that sex won’t/doesn’t/can’t/shouldn’t lead to attachment… While women convince themselves that sex means love.

So women sleep with a man to feel loved and to catch him. He does it for pleasure, and it may or may not lead to attachment. She is heartbroken when her premature gift is not valued… But it’s not valued because it was given away like it had no value. And if she hardens herself because of this repeated scenario… She hurts the man who is actually looking for a committed relationship.

So most men and most women have been hurt, rejected, have been trying to love when with someone who was only seeking pleasure. So they both start to use each other. Men will pretend losing her didn’t hurt. Women will pretend it was all his fault.

Women get comforted for being dumped, and get sympathy for being hurt. Men get ridiculed for not being able to keep her, for falling for her in the first place, or for getting emotionally attached.

Unequal expressed reaction does not prove unequal hurt. There are also women who make a game of using and hurting men, but actually there are far more women just deluding themselves. They have to make the man out to be the villain, or else maybe they will have to bear some responsibility, too.

So I don’t think you can trust the biased reporting of who gets hurt more or more often.

you are good. Smart person.

 

[Lea101]

Don’t ever reject your femininity because aspects of it are ‘hard’ or ‘looked down upon.’

There’s plenty of variation in femininity to appeal to everyone. Embrace it!

I was a tomboy, but then through media etc I started to be more interested in fashion/makeup because it was an excellent way to compensate for my genes. At this point I’d rather spend my allowance on makeup than to spend it on food.

I don’t think I’m masculine,which is what some people are thinking, I guess? Like I said, my mannerisms can be seen as feminine. I don’t walk and talk like a man, so it’s not like I hate being a woman because I’m a tomboy. I hate being a woman because I just don’t ‘fit’. The ideal situation is that I would not exist at all, second ideal is that maybe I could be born as a male.

I just see 0 advantage of being a female compared to a male. God does favour men over women (to the other posters, please do not harp on this, it’s kind of like having a favourite child but still loving all of them). Like I said, being a woman suck physically, etc.

I don’t see why me being a female is important to God (I’m referring to those people who said that God made me a female for a reason)

I wish there is a better way to put it in words

even the catholic idea of femininity is grating on my ears :ehh:

And to those who might think that I’m on my way to becoming ‘Leo’ instead of ‘Lea’, I’m not!

 

[SilverShadow22]

I was a tomboy, but then through media etc I started to be more interested in fashion/makeup because it was an excellent way to compensate for my genes. At this point I’d rather spend my allowance on makeup than to spend it on food.

I don’t think I’m masculine,which is what some people are thinking, I guess? Like I said, my mannerisms can be seen as feminine. I don’t walk and talk like a man, so it’s not like I hate being a woman because I’m a tomboy. I hate being a woman because I just don’t ‘fit’. The ideal situation is that I would not exist at all, second ideal is that maybe I could be born as a male.

I just see 0 advantage of being a female compared to a male. God does favour men over women (to the other posters, please do not harp on this, it’s kind of like having a favourite child but still loving all of them). Like I said, being a woman suck physically, etc.

I don’t see why me being a female is important to God (I’m referring to those people who said that God made me a female for a reason)

I wish there is a better way to put it in words

even the catholic idea of femininity is grating on my ears :ehh:

And to those who might think that I’m on my way to becoming ‘Leo’ instead of ‘Lea’, I’m not!

Maybe it’s a culture thing, but if existence itself sucks, one gender or the other isn’t going to have a better time of it… At least not where I live… Over here in many ways females have it better…

And if I weren’t female, the man I’m dating wouldn’t be interested in me, because he wants a woman! Lol. Just like I want a man.

I guess what I’m trying to say, if you’re not out to behave or become like a man, at least try to revel in whatever femininity DOES offer.

No, I don’t walk like a man… Idk about talking tbh but probably inherited that from dad if I do… I’m unambiguously female in appearance if I’m wearing anything but a sack… Lol because I’m top heavy. Even short hair and zero makeup won’t get me mistaken for a guy.

BUT I do have a ‘male’ personality that many can’t stand in general and tolerate only in men. I’m fortunate that my steady is both patient and stubborn and doesn’t give up on me. So basically… Whatever is you, and is also a positive privilege of the fairer sex… Go for it!

In some ways I had to sit back and take stock of my options and realize my father, far from equipping me to attract a husband, had instead crippled me by imposing his own preferences as the standard… no makeup, no perfume, little jewelry… All the exact OPPOSITE of what my steady prefers.

And then I realized there was actual girl impulses inside me that had never been indulged, and I’m enjoying letting them out. Growing my hair long again, trying more clothing styles, learning different makeup techniques, expanding my tastes… It’s all become quite fun.

 

[SilverShadow22]

Also, Lea, I’d be careful about thinking this sense of displacement or alienation would be different if you were the other gender. INFJs in general have a deep dissatisfaction with the world because nothing can live up to their profound ideals - not even themselves. (INFJs are much better tolerated as females; if you were the same type, but male, you’d be in my situation.) My INFJ best friend speaks of this ‘not belonging’ all the time - a feeling that there is no real ‘place’ for her to feel fully necessary. She feels everything so deeply and yet hides so much.

I never wanted to hide; I tried to tell the truth no one really understands… Her alienation comes from her silence, and mine from my speaking. She thinks no one will understand… And I know they won’t.

All except her… And hopefully one other. And that will be enough.