Isabus,
I’m afraid you are misunderstanding this doctrine, and I suspect you would have your concerns laid to rest if you took the time to look at this further and see how the Church understands “outside the Church there is no salvation”.
You wrote: “Sherlock, we are not as you say above talking about dogma.”
Yes, we are talking about dogma, like it or not. As I mentioned before, this teaching goes back to the Church Fathers and has been reaffirmed at times in history, including Vatican ll. Here’s a quote from Lumen gentium, which, in case you don’t know, is a document produced by the Vatican ll council:
“Basing itself on Scripture and Tradition, the Council teaches that the Church, a pilgrim now on earth, is necessary for salvation: the one Christ is the mediator and the way of salvation; he is present to us in his body which is the Church. He himself explicitly asserted the necessity of faith and Baptism, and thereby affirmed at the same time the necessity of the Church which men enter through Baptism as through a door. Hence they could not be saved who, knowing that the Catholic Church was founded as necessary by God through Christ, would refuse to enter it or to remain in it.”
The Catechism also states that “This affirmation is not aimed at those who, through no fault of their own, do not know Christ and his Church” ( 847). Perhaps the problem is that you are insisting on understanding the doctrine without the reasonable provisions for invincible ignorance. Those provisions, by the way, do not negate the meaning of the doctrine—let me put it this way: not all Catholics will go to heaven, but everyone in heaven will be Catholic! The Church teaches that “Although in ways known to himself God can lead those who, through no fault of their own, are ignorant of the Gospel, to that faith without which it is impossible to please him, the Church still has the obligation and also the sacred right to evangelize all men.” In other words, I trust that God will, in ways known only to him, introduce the invincibly ignorant to his Church, perhaps at the moment of death. My job, here on earth, is to reduce that ignorance and introduce Christ’s Church to those seeking salvation.
Here’s the link to the article at Catholic Answers that I think might help. It might help if you read it before commenting further:
catholic.com/library/Salvation_Outside_the_Church.asp
I will answer your other questions in another post, as I’m probably about to run out of room here.