Does the high divorce rate among Christians undermine the credibility of what it teaches about dating and marriage?

[underacloud]

I asked before and a few others have asked too…why are you here?

You reject the faith. You reject the advice offered by people in this thread. And now you’re putting forward your pro-abortion position, among other anti-Catholic rhetoric. Perhaps it’s time to consider that you are merely trolling after all?

I don’t actually believe this. I believe you are deeply troubled and unhappy with your life, and searching for answers. But unless you adopt a more open minded approach to these discussion that you initiate, you’ll never actually be receptive to the answers you seek. Instead of being so quick to dismiss the advice offered in good faith by people here, you could spend time reflecting on it. Many of us post because our lives have been happy and fulfilling, lived through our faith, and we are trying to share that with you.

I also don’t believe you reject God. Otherwise, you wouldn’t waste you’re time on a Catholic forum desparately hoping someone will talk you out of your terrible choices. Is that, after all, why you’re really here? I expect that some good time spent in quiet personal reflection will do you much more good than seeking to find purpose and explanations from external sources.

 

[Starrsmother]

Compassionate means compassion for gays, that they should not be treated any differently for the way God created them.

Compassionate means compassion for women, that they should not have to suffer from an unwanted pregnancy, and that forcing women to bear children when they are not emotionally or financially capable to is evil.

Since I have turned from the faith, there is no soul that I have to feel responsible for. Private actions between consenting adults–no one else has any business to object or intervene.

Humans are sexual beings, and from a biological perspective, it is unhealthy to repress that part of our humanity. The only reasons we repress it are because of 1) lack of consent by an existing partner, 2) criminal law, or 3) religious teachings.

Which version are you using? The ESV (which today’s Protestants use the most says):
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.

The NIV (which Protestants used the most in the 1990s) says:
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.

A poster suggest you may be “trolling”–and he may be right. I don’t intend to get into any argument with you–however, if you have truly abandoned God, you better be very sure in your innermost heart that you are right–because if you aren’t, it’s a terrible price to pay ultimately! I don’t know your age, but most intelligent people at some point in their life are faced with the thought that maybe God is just a pipe dream that their parents instilled in them. I did myself when I was younger and over a period of several years.

What I discovered is what I suspect you will find and that is that if there is no God, there is no point in ANYTHING! Why not be a serial killer if that’s what you get off on? Why give a tinker’s damn about what’s going on in Syria at the moment? For that matter why even be in a committed relationship with one person of the opposite sex? Why not sleep with a goat if the goat is right there in front of you? I mean, why not if everything is about what feels good right at this very moment? Why not if there is no God and when you die your dead and that’s the end?

And there you find the crux of the problem. Why not give in to every earthly want? Because they never fulfill you inside! There’s a deep hole inside each of us that can NEVER be filled by ANY earthly want. You can eat and drink until you weigh 600 lbs and destroy your liver and you still won’t feel happy. I’ve cared for too many people like this in my nursing career not to recognize a miserable human being when I stumble upon one. God (or someone/something) put a tiny little device inside each of us. I call it a conscience–you can call it whatever you wish. Inside, we all know when we are doing right and when we are doing wrong. Why is that little device in each of us if there is no God to read the meter so to speak? One would thing that if this is all there is that over the span of human evolution, that we would have rooted out this little device that tells us we have done wrong and which seems to interfere with our doing whatever feels good at the moment if it had no purpose other than to hold us back. We’ve evolved past tails, our faces have changed shape over evolution–but that little device/conscience thing is still around!

And I would suggest that it is inside us for a purpose and that purpose --if we listen to it and don’t try to suppress it to fit our own temporary wants–is to let us live a life on earth that will allow us to be at least tolerable to God after we die. I believe that is summed up in the concept of heaven and hell. If there is a God, He doesn’t want people around him who are not good, any more than you want someone to walk onto your living room carpet with dog poop on their shoe! Nobody on this forum can convince you of anything if you’re angry , self absorbed, self pittying and simply don’t want the answers that are before you. You better think long and hard though–because if you are wrong, you just never know when your last second on earth might be and God may smell dog poop in His living room!

 

[holyrood]

Compassionate means compassion for gays, that they should not be treated any differently for the way God created them.

Compassionate means compassion for women, that they should not have to suffer from an unwanted pregnancy, and that forcing women to bear children when they are not emotionally or financially capable to is evil.

Since I have turned from the faith, there is no soul that I have to feel responsible for. Private actions between consenting adults–no one else has any business to object or intervene.

You are assuming that 1) God *created *people with SSA and then, strangely, all major world religions came to the same conclusion, and have stuck with it for thousands of years, that homosexual sex is wrong. It seems to me God would have guided his church a little better than that. And if there’s nothing wrong with it, it seems odd that all major world religions would have come to the same exact conclusion.

We’re all sinners. You, me, everyone on this board. Yes, we’re all fallen. That doesn’t mean all go around making sure everyone knows what we’ve done and insisting that they approve of our actions.

Compassion does not mean ‘agree with’ or ‘celebrate’ or ‘support’ or ‘encourage.’ We can have compassion for even a murderer in prison, and yet still say what he did is wrong. We can have compassion for the grumpy old lady down the street who yells at all the neighborhood kids, understanding she’s in pain and lonely–yet ask her to please stop yelling at our children.

How do you feel about a woman abandoned by her husband with four small children? She has no job. She’s only 25. She’s far from family. She’s emotionally and financially incapable of taking care of those children. Is it evil to ‘force’ her to take care of those children? Shall we subject those children to the same death that is inflicted on the unborn children you’re talking about?

 

[Xantippe]

Calilobo,

It’s occurred to me that your romantic life is in a very hazardous situation, because you yourself are in flux. There are two bad possibilities that come to mind:

1. You fall in love with and marry an atheist or agnostic and then you have a resurgence of faith yourself, causing many marital and familial difficulties. (This sort of thing has happened to quite a few people on this forum.)
2. You fall in love with and marry a practicing Christian, you continue on your current trajectory of rejection of Christian doctrine and practice, and then you have many marital and familial difficulties.

Alternately,

1. You fall in love with and marry an atheist or agnostic and live happily ever after.
2. You return to your faith, fall in love with and marry a practicing Christian, and live happily ever after.

There are many possible permutations available, but I think that the fact that you don’t know where you’re going is a huge problem. If you don’t know where you’re going, how can you ask anybody else to go along for the ride?

 

[CaliLobo]

I believe you are deeply troubled and unhappy with your life, and searching for answers…Many of us post because our lives have been happy and fulfilling, lived through our faith, and we are trying to share that with you.

I also don’t believe you reject God. Otherwise, you wouldn’t waste you’re time on a Catholic forum desparately hoping someone will talk you out of your terrible choices. Is that, after all, why you’re really here? I expect that some good time spent in quiet personal reflection will do you much more good than seeking to find purpose and explanations from external sources.

I am here because the RCIA question has been in my mind for a few years now, and I already know what the Protestant churches teach and it’s unsatisfying. I appreciate the different view that the Catholics of CAF provide; it’s much different from Evangelical Protestant platitudes that lack deep intellectual backing. But I’m not sure that the Catholic Church is exactly what God envisioned either, and now it’s clear God doesn’t care about me…

starrsmother:

What I discovered is what I suspect you will find and that is that if there is no God, there is no point in ANYTHING! Why not be a serial killer if that’s what you get off on? Why give a tinker’s damn about what’s going on in Syria at the moment? For that matter why even be in a committed relationship with one person of the opposite sex? Why not sleep with a goat if the goat is right there in front of you? I mean, why not if everything is about what feels good right at this very moment? Why not if there is no God and when you die your dead and that’s the end?

And there you find the crux of the problem. Why not give in to every earthly want? Because they never fulfill you inside! There’s a deep hole inside each of us that can NEVER be filled by ANY earthly want… God (or someone/something) put a tiny little device inside each of us. I call it a conscience–you can call it whatever you wish. Inside, we all know when we are doing right and when we are doing wrong. Why is that little device in each of us if there is no God to read the meter so to speak?
…
And I would suggest that it is inside us for a purpose and that purpose --if we listen to it and don’t try to suppress it to fit our own temporary wants–is to let us live a life on earth that will allow us to be at least tolerable to God after we die. I believe that is summed up in the concept of heaven and hell…Nobody on this forum can convince you of anything if you’re angry , self absorbed, self pittying and simply don’t want the answers that are before you…

I give humanity more credit than that. Sometimes, self-control is what satisfies people. Do we need religion to know that it’s not good to victimize others?

Back to the original topic, for the agnostic there is no moral issue with sex, dating, and divorce, unless he or she chooses to think so. As long as both sides consent and neither side is victimized, it’s fine. And hell? How do we know that’s not just some concoction of the church to scare people into compliance?

holyrood:

You are assuming that 1) God created people with SSA and then, strangely, all major world religions came to the same conclusion, and have stuck with it for thousands of years, that homosexual sex is wrong. It seems to me God would have guided his church a little better than that. And if there’s nothing wrong with it, it seems odd that all major world religions would have come to the same exact conclusion.
…
Compassion does not mean ‘agree with’ or ‘celebrate’ or ‘support’ or ‘encourage.’ We can have compassion for even a murderer in prison, and yet still say what he did is wrong. We can have compassion for the grumpy old lady down the street who yells at all the neighborhood kids, understanding she’s in pain and lonely–yet ask her to please stop yelling at our children.

How do you feel about a woman abandoned by her husband with four small children? She has no job. She’s only 25. She’s far from family. She’s emotionally and financially incapable of taking care of those children. Is it evil to ‘force’ her to take care of those children? Shall we subject those children to the same death that is inflicted on the unborn children you’re talking about?

Don’t want to derail this thread. But yes, it is quite evident that God created people with SSA. There have been gays all throughout history, and the closure of Exodus International proves that being gay is an immutable characteristic. Gay people honestly believe they were always gay and born that way. Even the Catechism admits that the origins of SSA are not fully known…

You’re wrong about world religion. You mean Judaism, Christianity, and Islam instead. Eastern religion has no prohibition against homosexuality, and neither did Western pagan religions or Native American religions…

Once again, the difference between murder and yelling at children versus gay rights is that the former have victims, whereas gay relationships are between consenting adults.

Also, with the poor mother with young children, let me reiterate that the 14th Amendment says that born people have rights. The unborn do not.

Finally, let me add that one more benefit of being agnostic and leftist is that I can now attract a wider variety of women. Women my age tend to be pro-choice and pro-gay rights, because they have keener understanding of civil rights, and they are most likely to be victimized by unwanted pregnancies and abortion restrictions. Many women will not date a man that does not share their political views. I’ve experienced this myself. And I’m open to new ideas to make myself more desirable…

 

[underacloud]

I am here because the RCIA question has been in my mind for a few years now, and I already know what the Protestant churches teach and it’s unsatisfying. I appreciate the different view that the Catholics of CAF provide; it’s much different from Evangelical Protestant platitudes that lack deep intellectual backing. But I’m not sure that the Catholic Church is exactly what God envisioned either, and now it’s clear God doesn’t care about me…

I’m still very confused. Is your current conclusion that God doesn’t exist or that God doesn’t care?

These are two very separate problems. But to talk about God not caring and what God envisioned with regard to his church suggest you still hold to the notion of God. As such, it’s really somewhat irrelevant whether you think he cares about you or not; he’s still God and capable of determining your eternal destiny. But you want to weigh your happiness in the here and now as being of more significance that your eternal happiness. Would you rather be happy now, married for a few years and then divorced, miserable for the rest of your life (divorced men are among the most unhappy people), and then spend eternity cut off from the God you rejected? Or would you rather explore the issues of purpose, existence, eternity, morality, and God and come to a more complete understanding of happiness?

Rather than think about RCIA, why not enter the process to better understand what the Church has to offer? You have nothing to lose in doing so, and you can go through the course without an explicit intention to enter the Church at the end of it.

One observation I have is that while you may be angry with God right now, you still speak respectfully of Jesus. That’s one thing to hold on to. There are times I’ve felt rejected by God and felt that He has turned away from me, but I could never forget the person of Jesus and the reality of the love that He gives. If you want to feel that God still cares, reflect on the passion and death of Jesus and you may just start to remember the love the God has for you.

 

[Xantippe]

“Back to the original topic, for the agnostic there is no moral issue with sex, dating, and divorce, unless he or she chooses to think so. As long as both sides consent and neither side is victimized, it’s fine.”

That’s kind of a narrow view of the social implications of marriage. Even just from the point of view of the children of a divorcing couple, divorce is a big deal. Occasionally, it’s something that the children themselves welcome, but it is a big deal either way, either for good or for ill. Divorce affects where the children live, where they go to school, how much money there’s going to be for extracurriculars, whether they get to play with their friends (because they might have to go to daddy’s for the weekend instead), whether they have to share a home with a confusing series of step-parents and step-siblings, etc. You should check out some of the scholarly stuff that’s been written on marriage, family and divorce, for instance Kay Hymowitz on class and family or Judith Wallerstein on children and divorce.

slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/07/judith_wallerstein_and_divorce_how_one_woman_changed_the_way_we_think_about_breakups_.html

One of the really interesting things that has happened in the US over the past 40 years is that while there was a brief window in the 1970s and 1980s when all classes experimented enthusiastically with divorce, that has really changed in recent years. There’s an ongoing family meltdown in the lower half of the socioeconomic spectrum (although these days, that generally comes in the form of unwed childbearing, rather than divorce, as the parents often never marry). Meanwhile, the US upper middle class has largely abandoned the divorce experiment. Why? Well, for one thing, if you take one upper middle class households and divided it up into two households, they are generally much poorer than they were when they all lived under one roof. Two households are much more expensive than one, but you still have to house the same number of people in each home (minus one). Likewise, the current upper middle class family lifestyle is extremely labor-intensive and it requires the concerted efforts of two parents to bring in a good income, supervise homework, supervise music practice, drive kids to sports practice, shepherd kids through college applications, and all the dozens of commitments that middle class family life seems to require these days. This is not the sort of thing that can be easily split between two parents who aren’t married to each other anymore.

And that’s really just the tip of the iceberg. Just as John Donne said “no man is an island” with regard to death, you can say the same thing about divorce. Almost every divorce sends out shock waves through families and circles of friends and forces changes in relationships among a large number of people. There can be decades of repercussions. My aunt and uncle separated about 15 years ago and we still get loads of drama every time there’s an occasion that forces them to have to be in the same room again (weddings, funerals, etc.). It totally stinks for their kids. Imagine planning your wedding, and realizing that what people are really thinking about is how your parents will act at the wedding–it’s not really your big day, it’s their big day.

In my experience, it seems to take easily 10 years to get over a divorce, and that’s getting off easy.

 

[EnglishTeacher]

I am here because the RCIA question has been in my mind for a few years now, and I already know what the Protestant churches teach and it’s unsatisfying. I appreciate the different view that the Catholics of CAF provide; it’s much different from Evangelical Protestant platitudes that lack deep intellectual backing. But I’m not sure that the Catholic Church is exactly what God envisioned either, and now it’s clear God doesn’t care about me…

There’s a lot of material in this thread, but I just want to throw out a few thoughts: Despite everything that you are going through right now and despite your current anger toward God, you are drawn to the Catholic Church. That is the Holy Spirit calling you (and while you might disagree with that part, you do at least see something that interests you in the Catholic Church–something different from the Protestant Christianity that you are used to). Why not do some serious reading and inquiry into the Catholic Church? Given your intellectual bent, I think you would really enjoy and be challenged by G.K. Chesterton. His book Orthodoxy is a good one to start with. I also would recommend Catholic Christianity by Peter Kreeft. (I have many more book recommendations if you’re interested.) And pray that the Holy Spirit would guide you to the truth, whatever that may be. I truly believe that God will always draw to himself those who seek the truth with all their heart.

Finally, let me add that one more benefit of being agnostic and leftist is that I can now attract a wider variety of women. Women my age tend to be pro-choice and pro-gay rights, because they have keener understanding of civil rights, and they are most likely to be victimized by unwanted pregnancies and abortion restrictions. Many women will not date a man that does not share their political views. I’ve experienced this myself. And I’m open to new ideas to make myself more desirable…

You should take a break, at least a short one, from dating and looking for women. If you think about it and are honest with yourself, I am sure you can see that you are not in a good place to be dating right now. For one thing, you aren’t sure what you believe, who you are, and where you want to go with your life. You need to figure that out before you enter into a relationship, because you could end up in a very different place from where you are right now.

Also, speaking as a single woman about the same age as yourself, turning into a political/moral chameleon will not make you “desirable.” A man worthy of respect is one who has strong morals, a strong faith, and who isn’t swayed here and there by the current political tide.

 

[vsedriver]

Finally, let me add that one more benefit of being agnostic and leftist is that I can now attract a wider variety of women.

so the ultimate purpose and goal in your life is to attract women and mate.

Mark 8:36

King James Version (KJV)

36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

 

[vsedriver]

Compassionate means compassion for gays, that they should not be treated any differently for the way God created them.

 

[holyrood]

Don’t want to derail this thread. But yes, it is quite evident that God created people with SSA. There have been gays all throughout history, and the closure of Exodus International proves that being gay is an immutable characteristic. Gay people honestly believe they were always gay and born that way. Even the Catechism admits that the origins of SSA are not fully known…

You’re wrong about world religion. You mean Judaism, Christianity, and Islam instead. Eastern religion has no prohibition against homosexuality, and neither did Western pagan religions or Native American religions…

Once again, the difference between murder and yelling at children versus gay rights is that the former have victims, whereas gay relationships are between consenting adults.

Also, with the poor mother with young children, let me reiterate that the 14th Amendment says that born people have rights. The unborn do not.

Finally, let me add that one more benefit of being agnostic and leftist is that I can now attract a wider variety of women. Women my age tend to be pro-choice and pro-gay rights, because they have keener understanding of civil rights, and they are most likely to be victimized by unwanted pregnancies and abortion restrictions. Many women will not date a man that does not share their political views. I’ve experienced this myself. And I’m open to new ideas to make myself more desirable…

Well, there ya go, you told me. Your tone makes it very clear that you know what’s what and can set everyone here straight. Including the Catholic church. Including telling other posters what they actually mean. You are truly remarkable. (Just a thought: there have been murderers throughout history, too. This is hardly proof that God made and wants people to have the inclinations they have.)

I have no idea what age you are, but women are roughly evenly divided on the abortion issue. But seriously, is that a reason to take a position on a moral issue?? What happens if the one woman you fall in love with is strongly pro-life and actually believes that sexual intercourse is for a man and a woman, within marriage? Do you change your position? And is she actually going to believe or respect that supposed position, if it’s taken and changed on the basis of what women it will ‘get’ you?

My question for you is: why are you here? Why do you keep coming back? After reading other responses, I tend to believe that either you are indeed a troll, or else God is calling you, through this pain, if you are continually drawn back to a Catholic forum.

But I’m not sure what you think you’re accomplishing, or even how you expect to help yourself by coming on a Catholic forum and informing people repeatedly that you’re angry at God and that the Catholic church is wrong in many of its teachings. Maybe answering those questions, at least for yourself, would help you sort through some of the things that are upsetting you.

Best of luck to you. May you find the peace you’re looking for.

 

[CaliLobo]

Well, there ya go, you told me. Your tone makes it very clear that you know what’s what and can set everyone here straight. Including the Catholic church. Including telling other posters what they actually mean. You are truly remarkable. (Just a thought: there have been murderers throughout history, too. This is hardly proof that God made and wants people to have the inclinations they have.)

I have no idea what age you are, but women are roughly evenly divided on the abortion issue. But seriously, is that a reason to take a position on a moral issue?? What happens if the one woman you fall in love with is strongly pro-life and actually believes that sexual intercourse is for a man and a woman, within marriage? Do you change your position? And is she actually going to believe or respect that supposed position, if it’s taken and changed on the basis of what women it will ‘get’ you?

My question for you is: why are you here? Why do you keep coming back? After reading other responses, I tend to believe that either you are indeed a troll, or else God is calling you, through this pain, if you are continually drawn back to a Catholic forum.

But I’m not sure what you think you’re accomplishing, or even how you expect to help yourself by coming on a Catholic forum and informing people repeatedly that you’re angry at God and that the Catholic church is wrong in many of its teachings. Maybe answering those questions, at least for yourself, would help you sort through some of the things that are upsetting you.

Best of luck to you. May you find the peace you’re looking for.

I don’t know anymore. What’s fueling my continued anger is the fact that it took this long to find one, and I don’t know when I’ll ever find another. I really don’t, especially in a town like this.

I wish there were more single women in my town.

I give up. I don’t know what to do or think anymore.

I’m just gonna occupy my time with work and hobbies, since it looks like I’ll be alone for the foreseeable future.

 

[holyrood]

I don’t know anymore. What’s fueling my continued anger is the fact that it took this long to find one, and I don’t know when I’ll ever find another. I really don’t, especially in a town like this.

I wish there were more single women in my town.

I give up. I don’t know what to do or think anymore.

I’m just gonna occupy my time with work and hobbies, since it looks like I’ll be alone for the foreseeable future.

I don’t understand being so long without a boyfriend/girlfriend. But I think almost everyone understands anger with God. The last 8 years of my life have been a series of dealing with some very painful things. I’ve been angry at times, and angry with God. In earlier years, things happened in my alcoholic family of origin that left me believing God didn’t care about me, or had abandoned me.

Other people are dealing with job loss, chronic pain, unexpected loss of a loved one, death of a child, house fires that destroy everything… Everybody is hit hard by life.

Things have been suggested prior, in this thread, as far as the relationship question. You could, of course, consider moving to a different town.

But I think you’re wise to just focus on living your life, on work and hobbies, for several reasons.

Life isn’t all about finding a spouse. In years of reading religions and philosophy, I think the Baltimore Catechism sums it up best:

1. Why did God make us?

God made us to show forth His goodness and to share with us His everlasting happiness in heaven.

Your focus should be on eternity with God. Your questions should not be what can God do for you, but why did God put you here and what can you do for God? I believe God has specific plans for each of us (I know the plans I have for you, and they are for good, not evil–that verse has gotten me through a lot.) you will feel happy and fulfilled.

I can tell you one thing God wants: He wants us putting good into each other’s lives. It doesn’t matter if it’s so much as a smile at a store clerk. If you know you are putting something good into the world, you feel better about yourself, and your life starts to change. Do you feel like you make a positive difference in the world? In the lives of people around you? If not, do one small thing each day to make someone else’s life better.

I could say a great deal more or give many examples, but I think the blocks of text in these long threads can get overwhelming and easy to skim through. If you would like more specifics, feel free to PM me.

I hope you have a great day.

 

[vsedriver]

I wish there were more single women in my town.

I give up. I don’t know what to do or think anymore.

I’m just gonna occupy my time with work and hobbies, since it looks like I’ll be alone for the foreseeable future.

MOVE! you are single and can live ANYWHERE!

have you tried eHarmony?

 

[CaliLobo]

MOVE! you are single and can live ANYWHERE!

Not that easy for lawyers. The job market is tough, and the idea of taking another bar exam is a major deterrent for us.

have you tried eHarmony?

Yes. Most people reject you outright, and there are many hackers. I have met a few though, but it didn’t work out.

 

[vsedriver]

I will. But what’s so hurtful and frustrating about this is that the city I’m in, despite its unique mix of cultures and nifty tourist sites, has few single people.

I’m going to give you the same advice I gave my son. To find a woman you have to go where the women are. One place where you can find a lot of women is at a horse show. Yes, 95% of the people there are women. The majority are athletic and of all ages. In fact, when I was single I spent most of my time at horse shows.

Your city hosts the Arabian National Show, lots of pretty women and horses. The New Mexico State Fair has a horse show this weekend. Take some riding lessons. Trust me, you’ll meet a lot of women. Many will be nice Christians women too.

 

[CaliLobo]

I’m going to give you the same advice I gave my son. To find a woman you have to go where the women are. One place where you can find a lot of women is at a horse show. Yes, 95% of the people there are women. The majority are athletic and of all ages. In fact, when I was single I spent most of my time at horse shows.

Your city hosts the Arabian National Show, lots of pretty women and horses. The New Mexico State Fair has a horse show this weekend. Take some riding lessons. Trust me, you’ll meet a lot of women. Many will be nice Christians women too.

Don’t horse riders date other horse riders? I have a traumatic horse riding story which I use in parties. But I’ll give it another try…

 

[SuperLuigi]

Because Catholic teaching is based on natural law and the Truth, the issue isn’t with the Faith.

I’ll bet if you really broke down the specifics of most of these divorces, personal selfishness would be a central element.

 

[vsedriver]

Don’t horse riders date other horse riders? I have a traumatic horse riding story which I use in parties. But I’ll give it another try…

actually not very often. The ratio of men to women in the equestrian sports is pretty onesided. In a class of 30 or 40 riders you might have 5 guys in the ring. There are more men at rodeos but your basic open horse show or breed show is almost all women.

Get into the miniature horses. Not as threatening and just as many women. If you want something with a little more adrenaline look up combined driving.

 

[Deana83]

You brought up some good questions that I’ve often wondered myself. First I have to say I don’t believe there is a perfect person out there for anyone because no one is perfect and we are all continually changing and evolving. The whole soul mate myth has fractured many a relationship because people have these high expectations of what a relationship should be. We’re trying to model it after what’s on TV, the movies, romance novels, and MTV. So you thought she was perfect, well evidently the feelings weren’t reciprocated so shake it off and move on. Maybe the issues aren’t the women you attract or don’t attract, maybe you have some issues that’s driving the good ones away. I even use the term “good” loosely because it’s so subjective. Even women who have been around, been divorced, bankrupted, and maybe have a kid or two- doesn’t make them “bad.” If they’re trying to get right with the Lord and are trying to change- why should anyone cast stones? Maybe you should covert to Catholicism; at least the church clearly defines what is moral and immoral and that’s one of the reasons I’ve been drawn to it. Even though of course people don’t always follow the rules, at least the rules are there to give us a frame of reference. I never really had that as a protestant but that may not be so much about Protestantism, it’s may just be my own quirky, sinful, nature. I’ll say a prayer for you. Quit looking, live your life abundantly with enthusiasm, and she will find you.