Domestic violence victim fired from Catholic school

[Cojuanco]

It’s a good thing that I’m not Catholic because I believe the Successors of the Apostles are impeccable:

m.nbcsandiego.com/nbcsandiego/pm_107837/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=tircDgNo

A San Diego teacher was fired by Holy Trinity School following a domestic violence incident involving her ex-husband.

Second-grade teacher Carie Charlesworth is out of a job, but not for anything she did in the classroom. Her school district considers her a liability and too unsafe to have around following a domestic violence dispute that happened earlier this year.

A letter sent to Charlesworth*said that school officials are concerned about her ex-husband’s “threatening and menacing behavior,” and as a result they “cannot allow” her to continue teaching at the Holy Trinity School."

They’ve taken away my ability to care for my kids,” said Charlesworth. “It’s not like I can go out and find a teaching job anywhere.”

The mother of four children didn’t think this would ever be her story to tell, but she is using her name and showing her face in hopes of bringing attention to a larger problem.

It’s a story that has domestic violence advocates outraged, fearing it will only reinforce an age-old problem where victims stay silent — but equally concerned are the school’s parents, not wanting their kids in the middle of it.

“Basically, we’d had a very bad weekend with him, we’d called the sheriff’s department three times on Sunday with him,” said Charlesworth, referring to an incident in January that put her leave of absence in motion.*She went to her principal at Holy Trinity School in El Cajon the following morning and told the principal to be on the lookout for her ex-husband. As many domestic violence cases go, this one has a trail of restraining orders and 911 calls. When Charlesworth’s ex-husband showed up in the school parking lot, the school went into lockdown.**Charlesworth and her four kids, who also attended Holy Trinity School, have not been back since the January incident.*A letter was sent home to parents the following day, explaining the situation and noting Charlesworth and her children were being put "on an indefinite leave.”

While Charlesworth’s husband went to jail on two felony charges, she says she felt like a criminal too.*“And that’s what it felt like, the kids and I were being punished for something we didn’t even do,” she told NBC 7 San Diego.

Three months later,another letter arrived in the maildelivering a crushing blow.* Charlesworth was fired for good, and after 14 years in the district not allowed to teach at any other Diocesan school.

The letter stated:

“We know from the most recent incident involving you and Mrs. Wright*(the principal)*while you were still physically at Holy Trinity School, that the temporary restraining order in effect were not a deterrent to him. Although we understand he is current incarcerated, we have no way of knowing how long or short a time he will actually serve and we understand from court files that he may be released as early as next fall. In the interest of the safety of the students, faculty and parents at Holy Trinity School, we simply cannot allow you to return to work there, or, unfortunately, at any other school in the Diocese.”

When asked for a response, Tom Beecher, Director of the San Diego Diocese Office for Schools wrote in an email to NBC 7 San Diego: “The diocese does not make public comment about personnel issues.”

Several parents at Holy Trinity, not disclosing their names out of safety concerns, said the district did the right thing in a no-win situation because they feared for the safety of their own children. Several parents mentioned being part of a movement to “pull kids out of the school” if Charlesworth returned.**“I mean that’s why women of domestic violence don’t come forward, because they’re afraid of the way people are going to see them, view them, perceive them, treat them,” said Charlesworth.

A 2011 study by Legal Aid Society-Employment Law Center shows Charlesworth isn’t alone: Nearly 40 percent of survivors in California reported being fired or feared termination because of domestic violence.**Charlesworth’s attorney Kenneth Hoyt, who intends to file a lawsuit on her behalf, said it may be an uphill climb because of something called "Ministerial Exception.” As part of her duties Charlesworth taught religion, and even though it was a small part of her daily lesson plan, there’s legal precedence showing she can be fired without cause just like a priest or pastor.

“I have not been back to a Catholic church since this happened” said Charlesworth, who admits her life has been turned upside down because “everything I thought I had, I don’t.”*She is being paid through August, but doesn’t know where she’ll turn next. Her ex-husband is scheduled to be released from Jail at the end of June.

To learn about more resources that help domestic violence victims,*visit the YWCA website Becky’s House.

CAF is based in San Diego, is it not? Perhaps we might ask them to help find a solution acceptable to all parties (aside from the criminal, naturally)

 

[april32010]

this is incredible, i pray this injustice is rectified .

 

[Cojuanco]

this is incredible, i pray this injustice is rectified .

And that the Diocese grows a collective spine.

 

[Allegra]

That is appalling!! The principal should be ashamed of herself.

 

[JerryZ]

With all the news reporting on people acting violently against the CHILDREN in the schools is it any surprise that the knee jerk reaction is to try ro remove the possibility that such an incident could indeed happen at their school?

It is the way we are being conditioned by the media and public oppinion.
Unfortunately this is where the powers that be want this proceed

 

[Deana83]

That is horrible! It’s not her fault that he’s abusing her and now it’s going to cost her her livelihood? What was she supposed to do just put up with it and not tell anyone? If that happened at my daughter’s school I’d seriously consider pulling her out.

 

[St_Francis]

I think that considering the level of violence that seems to have been occurring, the school and diocese did have to do something to protect the other students. What would the diocesisan or school officials be in for if they ignored the situation and the violent husband came to the school and killed some of the students while trying to kill the mother of his children?

OTOH, it does seem a shame that the diocese could not have found a different solution, like having her work somewhere else where there are no children.

ETA: it also seems that altho she stopped working in January, she has been and will be paid until August, which is helpful.

 

[Cojuanco]

Yes, why could they not have merely given her a clerical position for the duration? Why did they not go to the authorities?

And on another note, I’m betting the anticlericals will start spreading this story to suit their purposes, right…about…now.

 

[angell1]

i wonder if there’s anything we can do? like write themletters or something? talk to another dioceses? i understand why they felt it necessary to do what they did but there has to be a better solution. transfer to a different district, different state? yeah, they want to protect the children but right now they are basically just tossing out a vulnerable family who really needs help. and i am especially concerned about the part where she said she hasn’t been back to church since. a soul is pretty muc being pushed away because of this. is that relly what jesus wants people in his church to be doing? believe me, i’m all up for prayer as well but sometimes we also need to do something to help the situation. simply talking about won’t get anywhere. unforutnately i am in canada and really don’t have any information or any idea how to go about this? could anyone help?

 

[Cojuanco]

That’s what I was wondering. I know this forum and related enterprises are from San Diego. How do we contact the people who run this place? I’d send letter myself, but it’s not my diocese, and surely His Excellency would not listen to me, an unknown layman from outside. Any San Diegans here?

 

[angell1]

That’s what I was wondering. I know this forum and related enterprises are from San Diego. How do we contact the people who run this place? I’d send letter myself, but it’s not my diocese, and surely His Excellency would not listen to me, an unknown layman from outside. Any San Diegans here?

perhaps you could talk to someone from your parish about it? at least your’e in the same state lol. maybe some other schools have openings that could take her. i think it would be in her best interest to move somewhere else anyways since her husband will e released from jail soon. man, i wish i had a ton of authority sometimes. i always feel so stuck when i hear of these kkinds of things happening. unfortunately, not being in the same country is extremely limiting

 

[Dawnia]

perhaps you could talk to someone from your parish about it? at least your’e in the same state lol. maybe some other schools have openings that could take her. i think it would be in her best interest to move somewhere else anyways since her husband will e released from jail soon. man, i wish i had a ton of authority sometimes. i always feel so stuck when i hear of these kkinds of things happening. unfortunately, not being in the same country is extremely limiting

Most likely no other schools will touch her because of the potential danger. I don’t blame them for not wanting the liability issues. If the law would bother to have real penalties for domestic abuse and violent idiots like him then things might be different. I think it’s ridiculous that everyone but the criminal is made to suffer for the criminals actions.

 

[Et_Cetera]

Hope she gets an amazing attorney.

 

[Country_Gal]

With all the news reporting on people acting violently against the CHILDREN in the schools is it any surprise that the knee jerk reaction is to try ro remove the possibility that such an incident could indeed happen at their school?

It is the way we are being conditioned by the media and public oppinion.
Unfortunately this is where the powers that be want this proceed

I think you have a point there

 

[JMJSHJ]

I don’t know how any moral informed Catholic can justify this decision. The Archbishop better intervene as this is utterly disgusting.

 

[Santi2]

“I have not been back to a Catholic church since this happened” said Charlesworth, who admits her life has been turned upside down because “everything I thought I had, I don’t.

Why is she blaming the Church for her circumstances? Her life has NOT been turned upside down by the Church but, by her abusive husband and a criminal justice system which fails to protect domestic abuse victims.

 

[TarkanAttila]

I think she should be allowed to teach wherever she wants… provided her husband is put behind bars on a semi-permanent basis, far away from anyone whom he could do harm to (except a counsellor). (Or, you know, if a police sniper should happen to take him down during a malignant rampage…)

It is unfortunate she has to suffer for what her husband is doing. But she is not being punished. She has the right to grieve to God about this, but not to curse Him, or the Church. The Church is doing what will protect schoolchildren from harm and needless worry.

I wish there was some way they could help Charlesworth, though… a pension or something. I wish they would grow a pair and show some support for the woman. Somehow. Sadly, I think we come off rather too matter-of-fact and blunt as a Church.

 

[Santi2]

I wish there was some way they could help Charlesworth, though… a pension or something. I wish they would grow a pair and show some support for the woman. Somehow. Sadly, I think we come off rather too matter-of-fact and blunt as a Church.

The diocese and the school have supported Charlesworth financially from January and she will continue to receive monies up until August. I doubt other employers would have been as charitable.

 

[markomalley]

It’s a good thing that I’m not Catholic because I believe the Successors of the Apostles are impeccable:

m.nbcsandiego.com/nbcsandiego/pm_107837/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=tircDgNo

CAF is based in San Diego, is it not? Perhaps we might ask them to help find a solution acceptable to all parties (aside from the criminal, naturally)

I am not condoning the school’s actions, but an objective analysis of the situation shows that the problem comes from here:*When Charlesworth’s ex-husband showed up in the school parking lot, the school went into lockdown.**Charlesworth and her four kids, who also attended Holy Trinity School, have not been back since the January incident.*A letter was sent home to parents the following day, explaining the situation and noting Charlesworth and her children were being put "on an indefinite leave.”
*The school was put on lockdown due to this teacher’s ex-husband’s actions. I have no idea how many angry phone calls this principal got, nor do I have any idea how many parents threatened to withdraw their children from the school. I would wager that there were more than a few of each.

You have to remember that Catholic schools operate in a competitive environment. Parents can choose to send their kids to any number of Catholic schools, non-Catholic private schools, or even public schools. Catholic schools cannot operate at a loss…or shall I say a greater loss than what the associated parish has budgeted. Unlike public schools, where the taxpayers pay for teacher paychecks no matter what happens, Catholic school principals have to concern themselves with making payroll.

You have to remember that the priorities for any Catholic school are first, the kids, second, the parents who pay the kids’ tuition, and then and only then the employees.

I know, as a parent, that I would have concerns if I found out that my child was in a potentially dangerous situation that would be preventable. I like to think that I wouldn’t over-react; however, I would be concerned. If the same type of situation happened more than once, that concern would go up exponentially (“why am I paying $6,000 per year tuition???”)

What I’m trying to get at is if enough parents made angry phone calls, the principal would be faced with a situation where some sort of action was required in order to keep the kids enrolled.

Again, I’m not stating that this was the right way to handle it. In fact, I’m certain that there would be some other course of action that would have been better. I am, however, reasonably confident that the principal was in a position where something had to be done…

 

[quiet52]

Mrs. Charlesworth had a restraining order against her ex-husband. She responsibly warned her employer about her ex-husband’s violence and threats over the previous weekend, and sure enough, he was spotted lurking in the school parking lot. The school went into “lock-down” mode. I question why the school did not immediately call the police department, to get the man arrested? Why didn’t the school allow Mrs. C to teach, and her children to attend classes, when the ex-husband was jailed?

As for the suggestion that the diocesan find an alternate job for Mrs. C. – it’s possible there were no positions open, or that there could be no assurance provided that Mr. C. would not find out the location of any new place of employment. There doesn’t seem to be any clear-cut and safe solution for employer.

I wish the clergy would talk about violence and abuse from the pulpits. Victims already feel lonely and shamed enough in their suffering. I wish there could be louder outrage heard coming from Catholics as to the inadequate protection and justice for DV victims (from the police, legal system, and sentencing standards). Sometimes it seems that perpetrators are afforded more rights than their victims.

Let’s remember Mrs. C and her children in our prayers.