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Humanum_Genus
Guest
That’s liberalism.
The same kind that defends sodomites and abortionists.
They never blame the sinners, they just blame the victims.
The same kind that defends sodomites and abortionists.
They never blame the sinners, they just blame the victims.
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Dale_M
Guest
Are you saying Dr. Laura is a liberal?
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Hastrman
Guest
Compared to whom? Ayn Rand?Are you saying Dr. Laura is a liberal?
As for the original point, yeah, Dr. L went off the deep end a few years ago when she stopped practicing Judaism. Before that, though, she basically had a terribly reductive view of sexuality, especially male sexuality.
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lukewarm
Guest
The sin falls on the man who cheated, but in some cases where the man is witheld sex as a means of punishment or manipulation by a wife (or vice versa, although it would be more uncommon typically men will control with money) I would agree that the spouse shares in the sin as well as created a few of their own.
Let’s say a man controls the money and never lets his wife have anything, she gets a credit card and racks up $3,000 worth of debt. It was wrong to do that, but the husbands treament and behavior facilitated a response.
This isn’t for every cheating case, some people are just self centered jerks and will cheat no matter how great they have it.
Let’s say a man controls the money and never lets his wife have anything, she gets a credit card and racks up $3,000 worth of debt. It was wrong to do that, but the husbands treament and behavior facilitated a response.
This isn’t for every cheating case, some people are just self centered jerks and will cheat no matter how great they have it.
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whatevergirl
Guest
Oh, does Dr Laura know Mrs Spitzer personally now? I think that people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. I used to be an avid listener to her show, and have read some of her books–and frankly, she seems to me to be very self righteous. I would encourage anyone to read up on Dr Laura’s past ‘lives’ because she doesn’t practice what she preaches, from what I have read. We are all sinners, but I have always found her advice to be ‘do as I say, not as I do.’ So, not a fan, and her advice, I take with a grain of salt. When I heard her shows years ago…and she would comment on how people should always try to repair the damage done in relationships–in particular how we should respect our moms and dads out there, etc…and then to find out she was estranged from her own mother…I thought…and you’re giving the opposite advice of what you yourself take? I stopped listening from that day forward, and never have since.
We all make mistakes…we are all sinners…but if you have weeds to pull out of your own backyard, be cautious about telling others to do so.
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lizaanne
Guest
She lost my respect many years ago.
~Liza
~Liza
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whatevergirl
Guest
I think people who preach morality and ‘doing the right thing’ 24/7 and don’t do it themselves…it just falls on deaf ears. As St Francis of Assisi said…‘witness to others, use words if necessary.’ Words are meaningless if the person saying them doesn’t follow them.
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stbruno
Guest
Personally for the sake of anyone’s family, I would hope people would consider counseling to see if the damage can be repaired through years of prayer, work and definite committment to restoring fidelity and trust and family can survive. But I just don’t understand how any woman can stand up next to their cheating spouse to save any kind of face. That either takes a very forgiving person or a very abused person to do that. More reasons to pray for a family in destruct mode.
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Scottgun
Guest
I’m one of the staunchest blame-the-perpetrator out their and yes, the husband gets the blame, and Dr. Laura is out to sea on the Spitzer example (to be fair, she just used it to talk about her hobby horse.) But either Dr. Laura or the reporter is conflating blame and responsibility. That is to say, someone plays on the railroad tracks and he *probably *won’t get hit by a train, but it takes gall to act surprised if he does. So it is with neglecting a husband, and if he cheats he is to blame, but neglect is still irresponsible, and that has consequences. (And I’ll point out again that it is a generalization and has nothing to do with the Spitzer case as far as anyone knows).
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jman507
Guest
Well I suppose if its a wife that cheats, people go for the “what was he doing” card. My default position until I know better, is that both parties are at fault until more details are brought out. The fault of the sin goes down to the person that did it, but if your looking to what needs to be corrected in the future move on to something better, both parties are going to have to realize what they can both correct.
For what it’s worth I’ve had a girlfriend before cheat on me. That act is all hers, but I will say I do share in the blame for what lead up to it.
For that matter, I think from what she said, she said she didn’t know the details of this case to be able to make any judgement on if this was at play, but she used the example as a jump of to make the point that you cannot always hold the other party blameless. I am sure from the size of her audience she has many people going through the same thing, though far less in the public. I don’t think its too much to bring up a general point asking if you’ve been rather cold in your relationship and letting it wilt. Won’t be true in all the cases, but I guess it’d be true in some.
For what it’s worth I’ve had a girlfriend before cheat on me. That act is all hers, but I will say I do share in the blame for what lead up to it.
For that matter, I think from what she said, she said she didn’t know the details of this case to be able to make any judgement on if this was at play, but she used the example as a jump of to make the point that you cannot always hold the other party blameless. I am sure from the size of her audience she has many people going through the same thing, though far less in the public. I don’t think its too much to bring up a general point asking if you’ve been rather cold in your relationship and letting it wilt. Won’t be true in all the cases, but I guess it’d be true in some.
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Jabronie
Guest
What religion did she take up instead?
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jman507
Guest
What happens if it’s not so much about morality, but just about practical matters. If you let your relationship go as if it seems to lose it’s meaning, don’t be surprised if it falls apart. Those with a foul past can probably best tell you why their decisions were not the best. It can be the convert who speaks out with the more fire of all.
If anything, I hardly ever listen to her, but to me it seems her message is pretty much the same over and over again. If anything once you caught on, it seems to get rather stale, but if anyone regularly listens to her, correct me if you think I’m wrong. Someone like Fr. Corpi can seem to have a lot more to draw upon with his background, the theology, and such.
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whatevergirl
Guest
The reality is that unless Dr Laura lived with the Spitzers, she should not be commenting on why Elliot took up with prostitutes. There could be a myriad of reasons why–none she should be commenting on, nor blaming his spouse. No one knows the realities behind closed doors…and even if…Mrs Spitzer was the worst wife on the planet, she can’t control her husband’s actions. We are responsible ultimately when we sin. I can’t go into the confessional, and ask for forgiveness for my husband–he must go. I have compassion for Eliot Spitzer and his wife–but I don’t believe in blaming his wife for his indiscretions…and breaking the law. Those were choices he made. Regardless, Dr Laura has no idea what went on with their marriage to give that type of ‘advice.’ I’m glad I stopped listening to her show a while ago…just my opinion.
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MarcoPolo
Guest
Perhaps this post will help with the context of Dr. Laura’s philosophy here. I didn’t see from this article Dr. Laura talking about Mrs. Spitzer personally. I did not see her blame Mrs. Spitzer in this example…did I miss it perhaps? I see her talking about a relationship problem in general. Dr. Laura is a big believer that women are in a powerful position in a marriage, as she articulated in her recent book.
From her book interview on The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands:
*women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly, and intelligently results in a happier husband…*She is clear, however, that this is not some universal principle. Toward the end of the interview:
*Q: Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?
A: Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.*Link to the interview.
From her book interview on The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands:
*women are in the unique position of having an extraordinary amount of influence over their husbands, which when exercised thoughtfully, compassionately, lovingly, and intelligently results in a happier husband…*She is clear, however, that this is not some universal principle. Toward the end of the interview:
*Q: Are there any marital situations for which your book does not apply?
A: Yes, most definitely. Where the behavior of the husbands is blatantly destructive, dangerous or evil, this book does not apply.*Link to the interview.
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whatevergirl
Guest
Those are valid points…thanks for posting that. I never did like, however that title of her book…
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deb1
Guest
The particular book is actually pretty good. I used to like her and still agree with some of what she says. But she is judgemental and harsh. Even when she is saying something that is correct, she seems mean spirited.Those are valid points…thanks for posting that. I never did like, however that title of her book…
As far as the woman holding blame…Some people are serial cheaters and nothing their spouse will do will stop them. I’ve known men and women though who were emotionally abusive toward their spouses. I’ve had female friends roll their eyes and act like their husbands are idiots(to be fair, I’ve known men who are mentally abusive toward their wives)
Such actions do not justify an affair. But I would only say that both spouses-the cheater and the abuser- are guilty of equal but different sins.
Personally, I don’t think that Dr. Laura should be commenting on a case that she is not involved in. The fact that the man sought out a high paid hooker makes this case seem more like a serial cheater then someone going through a bad time in their marriage.
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MarcoPolo
Guest
I don’t really care for the title much either. It makes men sound like little pet fish or something.Those are valid points…thanks for posting that. I never did like, however that title of her book…
Not that being fed and cared for is a bad thing… 
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Hallelujahhh
Guest
I agree in that women SHARE the blame - sometimes. They are not completely at fault, of course. And sometimes men are just cheaters, no matter what. But if a woman treats her man horribly, it almost seems like, well, duh, why would he want to be with her - Of course he’ll cheat. Would he have cheated if she had tried her best to be a loving wife? Same for women. Would she have cheated if he had tried to be a loving husband? But, again, the word is SHAREd the blame. The cheater is ALWAYS at fault, whereas the spouse may SOMETIMES share the fault.
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GregoryPalamas
Guest
I just watched the video. I think Hallelulah has it right but some of the rest of the posters here don’t make much sense to me. The only off balanced person on that panel was the first woman who spoke of this incident and others like it as quite normal. Everyone is blameless because men are just spreading their DNA around.
The man and Dr. Laura were quite reasonable.
CDL
The man and Dr. Laura were quite reasonable.
CDL
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