Embarassing Confession?

[llamas]

I am a convert also. When I started going to confession, I would go behind the screen, close my eyes and then confess my sins while picturing Jesus listening (since the Priest is there “for Christ”).
I also wouldn’t hesitate to go to another Church for confession.
I tell my kids there will be no questions asked if they ever want to go to a different Church/Priest at any time for confession!

 

[kristie_m]

It’s almost always the embarrassing ones that bring me back to the confessional! But one thing I’ve found is that for me, going to the same priest is actually a real blessing. Not only do I only have one person that’s got the goods on me, but knowing that I’m going to be confessing to someone that I know and respect has a way of discouraging me from committing that particular sin.

Like the other poster said, it’s maybe not the best method, but if it’s effective, I’ll take it!

 

[Belle10]

Is this a common thing among all Catholics to feel this way or is it just the feeling of a Southern Baptist convert who just is not familiar with the sacrament of confession?? Please help?

I’m a cradle Catholic, and I’ve felt the same way, in fact I felt like this over the weekend! Having to admit our guilt out loud in the confessional is difficult, but once we do the grace and forgiveness we receive from Jesus is amazing, isn’t it? :bowdown: I figure the short-term embarrassment is worth it rather than an eternity separated from God.

Jesus told St. Faustina that the priest is but a screen for Him, that He is actually there in the confessional waiting for us. He already knows our sins, and He is the God of Mercy, so as difficult as it is to go in there sometimes, I try to remember this. He will only withhold forgiveness if I refuse to go to Him…

From the Diary of St. Faustina–

An excerpt from the Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul:
Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to Me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.
Soul: (as if awakening, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there is yet mercy for me?
Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.
Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.
Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness…Tell Me all, My child, hide nothing from Me because My loving Heart, the Heart of Your Best Friend is listening to you."

Even if he wanted to he could not remember everyone who comes in, and he does not want to and is trained not to remember.

Comforting facts here that we should all remember.

I know a man who has wanted to become a Catholic for years. He believes all the Church teaches. He refuses, because he can not bring himself to confess his sins.

Why are we embarrased over confessing our sins? There is only one reason. We are ashamed of what we have done. We try to keep secret the things we are ashamed of doing. We do not want anyone to know these things. We hide them deeply in our souls, because we are afraid of what people will think of us if they find out our secrets. We want people to think highly of us, that we are good people.

The root of all sin is pride. The mother of all virtue is humility. When we accuse ourselves of our sins it is humiliating, which is the medicine that destroys pride.

The reason we hide our sin is pride. We want people to think well of us. But as King David says, “my guilt is always before me”. There is no escaping it. Its always there. Every soul is the same.

When we try to hide something we do not want anyone to discover where do we put it? We bury our secret as deeply as possible and cover it up so no one can find it. Then we place a guard over it in case anyone comes near. That place is in the deepest part of our soul. How then could we expect it to go away?

What did the Jews do once they had Jesus dead and buried? The tomb was sealed and guarded. They wre afraid His followers would steal the body and claim He rose from the dead. So we bury and guard our sins in our souls afraid they will somehow escape.

Once our sin is buried in our soul only God can get it out. It is in the place within us meant only for Him, where He should dwell within us and the sin pushes Him out. After we hide our sins there they begin to rot deeply within. They stink and fester and turn our souls into cess pools.

We have a choice. We can remain in this condition and keep God out of our souls, or we can confess and be free.

It seems like a trick question. Whomever wants to remain full of rotten filth step to the left and and whomever wants to be free turn right? In order to step to the right it is a confession you are gulity. Why does it take courage to become healthy? Why would a soul rather go to hell than admit doing evil?

When we hide our sins we try to justify ourselves. The is no justification for guilt. It can only be confessed or denied.

There are only two ways to plead, guilty or not guilty. But only the guilty can plead for mercy.

God patiently waits for our confession. Lord forgive me, I have sinned. Take me back. Heal me. Clean me. Restore me. I am ashamed. Give me your grace. Do not let me depart from your love.

What a great paradox. The just proclaim their guilt.

Great post! :clapping:

 

[Kolbelover]

I was that guy that was referred to herein:
the “upstanding” member of the church who was commiting heinous sexual sins. I held a very prominent position in our parish, and was much beloved…

Whenever my guilt overcame me, i would confess at another parish… this offered me the relief of holding onto the sin, but eventually, i would sin again…this went on for years

Finally, it occured to me through much prayer and formation that the root of my sin was in Pride and lack of Charity…it was revealed to me that I needed to develop Humilty. In praying for Humility, we are sometimes afforded some HUMILIATING experiences! Eventually, my pastor (and boss) became my confessor, and I told him about me… everything. Both inside and outside of the Confessional. Suffering the humiliation of having to confess a repeated sin, actually worked to break the grip that that particular sin had on me. In other words, frequent, embarassing confession broke the cycle (eventually)!

and I am eternally grateful for all of God’s graces we receive in this beautiful and HEALING Sacrament

KL

 

[grandfather]

I was that guy that was referred to herein:
the “upstanding” member of the church who was commiting heinous sexual sins. I held a very prominent position in our parish, and was much beloved…

Whenever my guilt overcame me, i would confess at another parish… this offered me the relief of holding onto the sin, but eventually, i would sin again…this went on for years

Finally, it occured to me through much prayer and formation that the root of my sin was in Pride and lack of Charity…it was revealed to me that I needed to develop Humilty. In praying for Humility, we are sometimes afforded some HUMILIATING experiences! Eventually, my pastor (and boss) became my confessor, and I told him about me… everything. Both inside and outside of the Confessional. Suffering the humiliation of having to confess a repeated sin, actually worked to break the grip that that particular sin had on me. In other words, frequent, embarassing confession broke the cycle (eventually)!

and I am eternally grateful for all of God’s graces we receive in this beautiful and HEALING Sacrament

KL

We have a choice to make with others in the relationships we will have with them. We can see them as objects of lust. That is one choice and others may be receptive to it. If we choose to go that way the appetite becomes insatiable as is visible in the lives of public figures who are known for their uncontrolable hormones. We can also look at others purely and by our attitude toward them raise them in dignity. People will rise to goodness and holiness if it is put before them. They will respect themselves if they are respected. The power to live chastely is a gift and it is impossible without grace. That grace is obtainable to all by the means you experienced personally. There are millions of people enslaved by this sin in our day and who would like to be free. How can it be made known that there is a way out?

 

[Kolbelover]

I love what you wrote, Grandfather…thank you!

to answer your specific query: How can it be made known that there is a way out?

I think we share our experiences with sin and reconciliation. It may be hard at first, but I try to discuss it with other men when appropriate. Each time I have, several men who have suffered from the same affliction(s) have approached me. Pope John Paul II told us to “Be not afraid”… we have to share this stuff so that others may be brought to the cross and receive His healing grace

 

[Miserissima]

What helped the most was to think of my confessor as a doctor…Your confessor is your spiritual doctor. He is there to help. He wants to help.

Beautiful advice, thank you! That will indeed help me! I’ve been putting off going for a week now and it’s just getting more difficult to work up the nerve to go.

It’s usually the worse when I see the priest (at Mass, etc) right after confession. One of my priests once said, “We’re just glad that you came to be healed…”

Same here! I hate knowing that someone knows my darkest failings. Perhaps it’s a reflection that I need to allow myself to trust in people again. His servants deserve our trust.

I had met with my last confessor to discuss something else and we touched on the Sacrament of Reconciliation. He then asked if I wanted to go to Confession right there. Although I didn’t feel trapped, I felt I needed to wait for our next meeting. “Coming home” was a lot to digest. Of course, when we met again, I received the sacrament. He whipped his purple mini-stole out of his pocket right there in his office (I had never chosen to go to Confession face-to-face before).

It was the most difficult confession of my life. It was like making my first confession all over again. It was when the priest was explaining that God loves me so much that He can and will forgive me that I ‘cried me a river.’ I asked, “Really?” like I was a little kid hearing it all for the first time. I still tear up when I think about it (it was only 3 months ago). I have re-discovered the awe of God’s love and mercy.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation–it’s kind of like joining Sinner’s Anonymous.

Oh, I love that. Cat, you almost owed me a new keyboard because I choked a little on my coffee when I read that! That’s what I’m going to call Confession inside my head from now on…and it’s SO true!

And Grandfather, I am going to print out your post (#20) and stick it in the booklet I use for my Examen. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

 

[grandfather]

And Grandfather, I am going to print out your post (#20) and stick it in the booklet I use for my Examen. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

There is no doubt that I am a great expert on the matter of sin and its effects. How do you think it happened that I know so much about this matter?

 

[CatholiCommit]

I am a recent new member of the church myself and I know how you feel, I made a confession similar and I felt so bad and ashamed and I expressed to the priest that I was confessing to that I was ashamed for what I had done, not saying anything to me about it, I got absolution and did my penance, I went to mass afterward and in a way when I saw the priest again I got that same feeling, but I realized it was under the seal of confession and he would not remember it.

I am sure you were even scared because the priest knows you and knows your speech, but that is not necessarily a bad thing, there are two priests at the parish where I attend, and it is usually a toss up which one it will be but I go to confession when I need and afterward I do not worry. I consider it a way of being Catholic and knowing this part of what I do as a Catholic and do not worry what everyone else thinks I just take care of myself. I let God handle the rest

 

[Pax_Vobiscum_57]

I’m really lucky. We have friends who are priests. We can talk to them about anything. However, I have been known to go to confession to priests who do not know me. **

 

[kristie_m]

I consider it a way of being Catholic and knowing this part of what I do as a Catholic and do not worry what everyone else thinks I just take care of myself. I let God handle the rest

Now THIS is an excellent attitude!!!

 

[paxvobiscum]

The last time I went to confession I entered one of 4 confessionals in the church. As the priest pulled the curtain and spoke I knew immediatly that I had made a bad choice. He was a new priest that I had known for a couple of years and had many conversations with. He is a friar at EWTN and had even taken my kids and I on a tour. I was present at his first mass and etc. etc. etc… As I started to confess he urged me to speak louder (was speaking loud enough!) and then he said “what! you’re a woman!” and then wanted specifics as to where, when, why and how often. I felt dirtier than I have ever felt in my life, far from cleansed, forgiven and free. The kicker was after service I approached to speak to him as usual and he shook his head then turned and walked away. It’s been three years and I have not been able to bring myself to the confessional. Sometimes embarrassment is not the end :banghead:

 

[GemmaRose]

The last time I went to confession I entered one of 4 confessionals in the church. As the priest pulled the curtain and spoke I knew immediatly that I had made a bad choice. He was a new priest that I had known for a couple of years and had many conversations with. He is a friar at EWTN and had even taken my kids and I on a tour. I was present at his first mass and etc. etc. etc… As I started to confess he urged me to speak louder (was speaking loud enough!) and then he said “what! you’re a woman!” and then wanted specifics as to where, when, why and how often. I felt dirtier than I have ever felt in my life, far from cleansed, forgiven and free. The kicker was after service I approached to speak to him as usual and he shook his head then turned and walked away. It’s been three years and I have not been able to bring myself to the confessional. Sometimes embarrassment is not the end :banghead:

Any priest who treats a penitent in this manner will have more to answer for on Judgment Day than you will for whatever sin it was that you confessed, and I don’t care if he’s from EWTN or even from the Vatican!

I mean, maybe some stern advice for a very bad sin, but to turn away from you afterwards? Doesn’t he believe in the words of absolution he spoke?

The next time you go to Confession, don’t go to him. If there are multiple confessionals, they should have the priest’s name on the outside. If not, call the rectory beforehand and find out who is hearing Confessions that day and if it’s him, either don’t go that day or if possible go to another parish.

 

[grandfather]

The last time I went to confession I entered one of 4 confessionals in the church. As the priest pulled the curtain and spoke I knew immediatly that I had made a bad choice. He was a new priest that I had known for a couple of years and had many conversations with. He is a friar at EWTN and had even taken my kids and I on a tour. I was present at his first mass and etc. etc. etc… As I started to confess he urged me to speak louder (was speaking loud enough!) and then he said “what! you’re a woman!” and then wanted specifics as to where, when, why and how often. I felt dirtier than I have ever felt in my life, far from cleansed, forgiven and free. The kicker was after service I approached to speak to him as usual and he shook his head then turned and walked away. It’s been three years and I have not been able to bring myself to the confessional. Sometimes embarrassment is not the end :banghead:

If your recollection of the event is accurate, the priest is a disgrace to his order and the Catholic priesthood. His faculties should be removed.

 

[Ignatius]

I am new to the church (converted about 1 1/2 years ago). I have been to confession several times but this past time I had to confess two sins that were extremely embarassing for me and made me ashamed to have to confess them to our priest.

My parish priest gave me absolution and a penance which I did and was extremely polite about the whole ordeal. However I still felt embarassed and ashamed and I went to Mass right afterwards and had the feeling that everyone was looking at me and ashamed that the priest knew what I had done even though they were not. It almost ruined Mass for me. Like I said, this was the first time that I had to confess a sin that was of an embarassing nature (some sins are easier to confess than others).

Is this a common thing among all Catholics to feel this way or is it just the feeling of a Southern Baptist convert who just is not familiar with the sacrament of confession?? Please help?

Yes, the embarrasment is one of the main things that helps keep me from repeating these sins.

God Bless

 

[Gara3987]

I am new to the church (converted about 1 1/2 years ago). I have been to confession several times but this past time I had to confess two sins that were extremely embarassing for me and made me ashamed to have to confess them to our priest.

My parish priest gave me absolution and a penance which I did and was extremely polite about the whole ordeal. However I still felt embarassed and ashamed and I went to Mass right afterwards and had the feeling that everyone was looking at me and ashamed that the priest knew what I had done even though they were not. It almost ruined Mass for me. Like I said, this was the first time that I had to confess a sin that was of an embarassing nature (some sins are easier to confess than others). I talk to our priest often and he knows my voice so I know that he knew it was me during the confession and plus it was very tough for me to communicate with him in the confessional because I was nervous and scared. This was just a very strange and embarassing incident for me especially coming from a Southern Baptist background. I am sure for those who are raised in the Catholic faith and know no other way than confession of sins to a priest that it is possible to not feel as embarassed as I did.

Is this a common thing among all Catholics to feel this way or is it just the feeling of a Southern Baptist convert who just is not familiar with the sacrament of confession?? Please help?

I will have to admit that it is human nature, so don’t let it get to you too much. When I was younger I felt that way depending on the sin, though in recent years I have come to realize that when saying confession; that you are confessing to God, and the priest is just the medium. So that being said when I say confession I do not really think about me telling the priest of my sins, I know that our Lord Christ is present, and that He is the one that I am truly confessing to. Believe me you will feel relieved after your confession; because we are there to let or Lord know that we have done something that is offensive to Him and are truly sorry for having offended Him, knowing that Christ is there and that you are confessing directly to Him is the greatest feeling every.

The priest will not think anything bad of you for he is human to, and knows that temptation can be a very hard thing to deal with, so you should keep that in mind also. I hope that this helps. Take Care and God Bless

 

[po18guy]

Any priest who treats a penitent in this manner will have more to answer for on Judgment Day than you will for whatever sin it was that you confessed, and I don’t care if he’s from EWTN or even from the Vatican!

I mean, maybe some stern advice for a very bad sin, but to turn away from you afterwards? Doesn’t he believe in the words of absolution he spoke?

The next time you go to Confession, don’t go to him. If there are multiple confessionals, they should have the priest’s name on the outside. If not, call the rectory beforehand and find out who is hearing Confessions that day and if it’s him, either don’t go that day or if possible go to another parish.

The exception would be confessed lust after the Priest. Knowing that, the priest would have a responsibility to avoid contact without a third person present. Just a thought in defense…

 

[po18guy]

The exception would be confessed lust after the Priest. Knowing that, the priest would have a responsibility to avoid contact without a third person present. Just a thought in defense…

Doesn’t sound like this is the case. Speak to the Bishop - this is important, as you do not know what others may have experienced. You may very well be a blessing to the church by pointing this out. Priests are not immune to dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc. Early detection is the key to effective treatment, as with so many other afflictions.

IMPORTANT: Do not let this keep you away from the confessional! Go visit another parish, confess to a visiting priest, but do not carry such a burden of sin!

Christ’s peace be with you.

 

[Marc_Aupiais]

Try my method- any one of the capital sins, or ten commandments- to see which use my search engine

scripturelink.googlepages.com/search?cx=001763116401597409521%3Af7idlv7awxw&cof=FORID%3A11&q=confessors+guide+capital+sins+ten+commandments#1287

 

[paxvobiscum]

Originally Posted by po18guy forums.catholic-questions.org/images/buttons_cab/viewpost.gif
The exception would be confessed lust after the Priest. Knowing that, the priest would have a responsibility to avoid contact without a third person present. Just a thought in defense…

Doesn’t sound like this is the case. Speak to the Bishop - this is important, as you do not know what others may have experienced. You may very well be a blessing to the church by pointing this out. Priests are not immune to dementia, Alzheimer’s, etc. Early detection is the key to effective treatment, as with so many other afflictions.

IMPORTANT: Do not let this keep you away from the confessional! Go visit another parish, confess to a visiting priest, but do not carry such a burden of sin!

Christ’s peace be with you.

Wow - your first response was quite a shock. I assure you that was not the case. But in reality no-one cares. This young man is an internationally known priest(EWTN) and whatever I say wouldn’t mean squat. But once again I’ve learned that speaking up tends to be embarrassing. WOW