Emergency please help me

[Corinne3]

Do y’all think I should contact my h’s stripper gal to ask if she saw him recently? I don’t. What’s the point. Just asking…Have done so before. What does she know or say anyway, she’s a whore in the den of whores. Will lie, cheat with anyone’s husband for money…LIKE MINE.

It doesn’t really matter anymore as I am movin’ on with our Lord’s help to guide me. Just throwing out the question anyway. If anyone thinks it wouldn’t hurt to contact her to verify the story.

Thx,
Corinne:thumbsup:

Thank you all for being there for me.

 

[MtnDwellar]

Good! You answered your own question. Most excellent.

I am not sure, but it may be to your advantage if you remain confident in knowing that the marriage is over, even though your husband may not yet know it. Get your ducks in a row.

I will definitely pray for you tomorrow morning. My age is 49.

 

[Corinne3]

Good! You answered your own question. Most excellent.

I am not sure, but it may be to your advantage if you remain confident in knowing that the marriage is over, even though your husband may not yet know it. Get your ducks in a row.

I will definitely pray for you tomorrow morning. My age is 49.

You are close in age to me.

Thx again so much your prayers. You are awesome~!

I am making it highly difficult for my h to come walzing in our bedroom. He informs me just now that he is going again to his counselor tonight. WOW…just trying to once again instill hope and trust in me while he breaks it, yet again. I am not falling for it anymore. I am SOOOO done.

Friends. Thank you for listening. I know now my path, God has finally given me peace about it. Only in our Lord Jesus is their any hope at this point for my h. As Romans 1 says, HE has given them completely over to their depravity. Rom. 1:24: "Therefore God handed them over to impurity, through the lusts of their hearts, for the mutual degradation of their bodies. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie. . . "

This is sooo sad friends, but it is life today.

Please pray, if you will, that I will find a means to subsist without my abusive husband, that our Lord will provide me with a way, a means, and a hope.

Thank you.

Jesus, I trust in You. And YOUR Divine Mercy! MY HOPE is in YOU. AMEN

 

[rapunzel77]

Hi Rapunzel! I love your name.

Thank you

Thank you so much for replying.

You’re welcome

My h, friends just informs me just now, he’s going back to his counselor, tonight. Yeah right. OK. DO NOT believe anything more out of his mouth. Sorry.
He’s attempting to maintain the status quo, all the while doing what he pleases. I do not buy it anymore, I’m afraid. Not for one second.

I definitely agree that you can’t buy it anymore. He continues to lie. Some people develop weird pathologies. One of those is lying.

Lord, Mother Mary help me be strong.

Our Lady, Help of Christians, Pray for Corinne.

Something that really grasped me at Mass last night was this. The Priest says, the body is our strength, the blood is our healing. Both things I need right now.
Hoping for daily Mass during this arduous time in my life.

This is the best thing that you can do right now. Go to daily Mass, if possible, adoration (or just sit in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament), and pray the rosary. You will need all the help that you can get. Also, ask the saints for help, especially St. Monica and St. Rita . I hope that things will get better for you.

 

[joandarc2008]

Do y’all think I should contact my h’s stripper gal to ask if she saw him recently? I don’t. What’s the point. Just asking…Have done so before. What does she know or say anyway, she’s a whore in the den of whores. Will lie, cheat with anyone’s husband for money…LIKE MINE.

It doesn’t really matter anymore as I am movin’ on with our Lord’s help to guide me. Just throwing out the question anyway. If anyone thinks it wouldn’t hurt to contact her to verify the story.

Thx,
Corinne:thumbsup:

Thank you all for being there for me.

I would let your lawyer handle that - otherwise if the divorce goes nasty there is too much wiggle room for him to make it look as if you were “picking on him” or “stalking him” during seperation. Remember the secular world does not enforce Catholic morals. However, if there is something in the house you can get pictures of - such as pornographic materials being left out where the kids could see it, etc. that you could give to your lawyer those are things you may want to get together if you can do so without risking your own safety or peace of mind for custody battles and also to keep visits supervised later if necessary.

 

[taben]

"Just start with one step, one day at a time. It isn’t so overwhelming then. And pray a lot!!! "

Above was part on another response…and the best advice given, I do believe.

 

[dulcissima]

Hi Corrine,

Look at this old post of mine, from years ago…

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=98027

I was looking for the strength to do what you need to do, and I found it. Life gets better when you put all of the stress and drama behind you.

Keeping you in my prayers…

 

[LaLucia]

I noticed you say you have a counselor… so that means that you are getting some emotional help.

The Stripper has a job and her job is to take money from men who go visit her. I am sure she has plenty of regular customers. I don’t think your husband is important to her at all. He knows he can’t afford her. So he only visits her when he has money. Looks like he is addicted to her.

I think you really care about your husband because you say, quote…“HE IS MINE”. I think you want to keep your husband no matter how bad he treats you.

Don’t waste your time being jealous of the stripper or contacting her because money is the only important thing in her life.

My advise is to work on trying to improve yourself by getting some type of training for a job.
Or… you can go on Welfare when you get divorced because the child support will not be enough to support you and the kids.

I am glad you have lots of people here supporting your need to talk about your problems.

I see things in a practical manner and my advise is to work on trying to find a way to make it on your own and move on in your life.

The Stripper is not the problem… the problem is your husband choses to visit her and it makes him feel better. That is how he survives living with you and the kids.
She is like an addiction and he gets his fix when he visits her and then he goes home and feels better. You can’t keep him away from her.
One day the Stripper will quit her job and your husband will find a new Stripper to chase after.
Your husband is addicted and needs therapy.

You can stop the emergency by letting your husband do what he wants to do and you do what you have to do to improve yourself and get started in a new life without him.

 

[Corinne3]

the problem is your husband choses to visit her and it makes him feel better. That is how he survives living with you and the kids.
She is like an addiction and he gets his fix when he visits her and then he goes home and feels better. You can’t keep him away from her.
One day the Stripper will quit her job and your husband will find a new Stripper to chase after.
Your husband is addicted and needs therapy.

You can stop the emergency by letting your husband do what he wants to do and you do what you have to do to improve yourself and get started in a new life without him.

YES! TRUE!

Thanks!!! Am working it! One day at a time! with God’s help~

 

[Corinne3]

Hi Corrine,

Look at this old post of mine, from years ago…

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=98027

I was looking for the strength to do what you need to do, and I found it. Life gets better when you put all of the stress and drama behind you.

Keeping you in my prayers…

Thank you Dulci! How are you today? 5 years later? Have you found a job? Are you divorced? I’d love to know how things are going for you now.

Thank you for sharing this, and encouraging me!

God Bless!

OK been 2 years for me so far…

Lord provide a way…

Blessed Mother, keep me under your wings.

 

[Corinne3]

ITS HAPPENED!

H finally fessed up tonight, admitting he went to the strip club again to see his favorite stripper on Monday, after lying for 2 days about it. He said “so what?, what of it?” No remorse, nothing. No guilt, no feeling anything, rather calling me a ***** again. So hurtful! A sign to me our marriage is dead. Not to mention total disrespect of me, his wife and my feelings.

After 2 years of this, I finally KNOW this is not OK. To be treated in this manner any longer. I was headed for a battered woman’s place. WHEWW.

I just threw all his clothes in the den and he is moving out tomorrow. I did it calmly, not screaming or in anger. I just said “here, I’ll help you get ready because you have GOT to get out tomorrow”. “I cannot take anymore of this”. Nuff said. Friends: I CANNOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER! I JUST CANNOT. IT IS AN EMERGENCY! I HAVE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH ABUSE THAT I CAN TAKE, BEFORE I GO TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL, AND BECOME A WORTHLESS MOM, AND A BASKET CASE. Does anyone reading this understand? Please…I have tried to minimize it, saying wait…etc…I have done this for 2 years now…with this continuing, retreating back for nude lap dances, and sexual fulfillment on his part…etc…it is just too painful for me. Sorry…maybe I am over-reacting, but these are my feelings, and I cannot help them…

I am feeling hurt and devastated, sad and in turmoil, knowing my h doesn’t love me, or that he loves his sin more than me, and his whore too. And that he needs to see her or he goes nuts. OK then. He can have her, which I told him tonight. This really Hurts. ALOT. Somehow though, I know it will be all right, and that it had to come to this before things would start to change. I am actually glad it did. Maybe I can start healing now, as Gloria said. Thank you friend. Glad there was another incident of him going back to the strip club to instigate change. FINALLY. I remember praying to the Lord sometimes over the past two years telling the Lord I wished my h WOULD go back to the strip club just to get me out of this horrible marriage. When it happened I was too weak and not ready I guess. I see how many chances the Lord gave me, well now He gave me another one. He has shed His light on my situation and is will help me, giving me another chance to trust Him, I just know it. He has turned my h over to his depravity…Romans 1. And I have to trust He will provide a way of escape for me.

Still, it’s pretty traumatic. Every day will be a challenge.

More tomorrow.

THANK YOU. Thank you Jesus for taking care of me and my kids!

 

[Ailina]

Hi Corinne,

I am praying for you and your family. Time to start healing, one day at a time. Be strong for your family and keep praying. Seeing this kind of turmoil is not good for the kids.

 

[MtnDwellar]

Hi Corrine,

I just returned from church. Yours was my only intention at Mass.

It seems that you are still on the roller coaster. If you had truly ended things in your heart, you wouldn’t feel the way that you do. I think that’s the healing that was discussed. It is a process. The eighteen inches from your head to your heart can be a very long distance.

As you had said earlier, things are new and flaming. You recieved more bad news and things flamed again. It is still not an emergency. You say that you are financially dependent upon your husband. I have trouble understanding how your family can survive on a single unemployment check for so long, let alone have extra money available for strippers. Nonetheless, without a job or a plan, you are about to exchange emotional stress for financial stress. Which is easier?

I could go into a long thing about God’s plans and discerning His will from our own. Circumstances and coincidences are not always meant to guide us in the direction of his plan.

 

[rapunzel77]

ITS HAPPENED!

H finally fessed up tonight, admitting he went to the strip club again to see his favorite stripper on Monday, after lying for 2 days about it. He said “so what?, what of it?” No remorse, nothing. No guilt, no feeling anything, rather calling me a ***** again. So hurtful! A sign to me our marriage is dead. Not to mention total disrespect of me, his wife and my feelings.

Definitely time to kick him out .

After 2 years of this, I finally KNOW this is not OK. To be treated in this manner any longer. I was headed for a battered woman’s place. WHEWW.

There is no reason for anyone to be treated this way. I’m glad you are going to do something about.

Friends: I CANNOT TAKE IT ANY LONGER! I JUST CANNOT. IT IS AN EMERGENCY! I HAVE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH ABUSE THAT I CAN TAKE, BEFORE I GO TO A MENTAL HOSPITAL, AND BECOME A WORTHLESS MOM, AND A BASKET CASE. Does anyone reading this understand? Please…I have tried to minimize it, saying wait…etc…I have done this for 2 years now…with this continuing, retreating back for nude lap dances, and sexual fulfillment on his part…etc…it is just too painful for me. Sorry…maybe I am over-reacting, but these are my feelings, and I cannot help them…

I don’t think you are overreacting. I admit that I have never been in the situation that you are in. My husband is a good man to me but I understand your pain. It seems you have tried everything and he won’t budge. Its a two way street. Since he won’t try to get things straightened out then I definitely think it is time for him to leave. I would suggest going to Catholic Charities, etc for possible help with living expenses, etc while you look for another job. I know it is not easy but it is probably the best thing you can do right now.

I am feeling hurt and devastated, sad and in turmoil, knowing my h doesn’t love me, or that he loves his sin more than me, and his whore too. And that he needs to see her or he goes nuts. OK then. He can have her, which I told him tonight. This really Hurts. ALOT.

God bless you. I hope that you can heal soon. This will take a while.

 

[LaLucia]

I know how you feel because I have been there with my mental problems. I have to take medication to deal with my mental problems.

Please go see a therapist doctor to help you with your emergency problems. We are not qualified to help you with your problems. You need expert help.

All we can do for you is to pray for you… but you do need to see a doctor. I can tell you are barely holding on to your life… so please go see a doctor and tell him/her your problems.
Your doctor will be able to evaluate you and see how to help you.

 

[dulcissima]

Thank you Dulci! How are you today? 5 years later? Have you found a job? Are you divorced? I’d love to know how things are going for you now.

Thank you for sharing this, and encouraging me!

God Bless!

OK been 2 years for me so far…

Lord provide a way…

Blessed Mother, keep me under your wings.

Yes, I have a job working at a college and I love it. It’s very flexible schedule-wise with my family obligations. An added bonus, we live on campus.

I am divorced and received a declaration of nullity. There is still occasional craziness with my ex, but my home is so much more peaceful without all of the day to day drama and that is so important for the kids to grow up with that peace.

I will just say that it ihas been amazing all that God has provided. Every moment where things looked impossible, he has always provided me with a way. Praying for you, Corrine!

 

[MtnDwellar]

. I would suggest going to Catholic Charities, etc for possible help with living expenses, etc while you look for another job.

From my work with Catholic Charities, I know that they have arms which help people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol. They also have a network of safe houses for battered women and their children. I don’t think that Corrine qualifies for either of these programs. For what program are you thinking that she qualifies? What other agencies are available to help? I believe that food stamps are fairly easy to qualify for. Social Security may provide medical insurance, depending upon what state she lives in. Generally state welfare will include her husband’s income, seperated or not, in the calculation.

 

[dulcissima]

From my work with Catholic Charities, I know that they have arms which help people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol. They also have a network of safe houses for battered women and their children. I don’t think that Corrine qualifies for either of these programs. For what program are you thinking that she qualifies? What other agencies are available to help? I believe that food stamps are fairly easy to qualify for. Social Security may provide medical insurance, depending upon what state she lives in. Generally state welfare will include her husband’s income, seperated or not, in the calculation.

Catholic Charities will know where to refer her within her specific community for assistance. If she lived in my community, Catholic Charities could refer her to a private organization that provides low income housing (and Catholic Charities has the pull to have names moved up on waiting lists), a private food bank, St. Vincent de Paul for help with establishing and paying for utilities etc. Even though Catholic Charities has a very limited amount of direct help that they can provide, they are very well connected and can get her whatever assistance, public or private, is available in her community.

I went to them for help when my ex was not paying me the support he was obligated to, but was fortunate that I was able to find a good job almost right away and did not require all of the assistance that they were prepared to help me with.

 

[Corinne3]

OMGoodness, you all are simply too kind to me. I extend such a heartfelt hug and thank you to all of you who are in it with me, in my turmoil. Know God has sent YOU to me, and I thank you! You are NOT wasting your time and effort in replying to me. You must know this! I hope you do. God knows it too. That your words are a blessing to me. That whatever you do unto the least of these, you do to me…And yes, I am a least of these…

OK. h finally admitted, fessed up that he retreated to the stripper on MOnday like I KNEW in my gut he did. After much talking last night at midnight and prying it out of him, he admitted it. I was devastated. But calm. I put all his belongings out in the family room and informed him if this is what he wants, he can have it, but I cannot endure it and he has to move. I went to bed, so did he, on the couch.

This morning, he put all his clothes and stuff back and informed me he’s “not moving”. I said well then I guess we’ll have an “in house separation”. Couch for him, our bedroom for me alone. No sex, no friendship, no relationship. I will try to be civil and live in peace, all the while seeking work 4 hours away in the lovely town where my parents live. Lord willing.

This is the latest.

I feel peace in my heart surpriseinly like God knows how hard I have tried, and that He is turning my h over to his depravity like Rom 1 says. Read it friends. This Chapter from this book from Holy Scripture explains a lot.

I feel it is just too much to file a RO kicking him out. Been there done that before. It was total turmoil. Things WILL work out as they are meant to. I really have faith. And one friend of mind this morning pointed out to me, don’t you see, you have found NO job for 2 years, because maybe God is providing something else. Away from the scummy town we live. Away from my h. Praise Him! She also pointed out that just maybe by us moving away, it might be just the thing God uses to bring my h back to the Lord. Who knows? His plans are awesome!

I feel so much better now. Your prayers friends are working. Thank you! God is a good God.

Bless You.

Will keep you all informed.

Corinne:thumbsup: Lord make ME an instrument of your peace.

 

[Ailina]

Hi Corrine,

I just returned from church. Yours was my only intention at Mass.

It seems that you are still on the roller coaster. If you had truly ended things in your heart, you wouldn’t feel the way that you do. I think that’s the healing that was discussed. It is a process. The eighteen inches from your head to your heart can be a very long distance.

Sure she would feel torn. It is hard to leave a marriage after so much time, love and effort put into it. Especially when your spouse is not putting anything into it in return.
**
As you had said earlier, things are new and flaming. You recieved more bad news and things flamed again. It is still not an emergency. You say that you are financially dependent upon your husband. I have trouble understanding how your family can survive on a single unemployment check for so long, let alone have extra money available for strippers**. Nonetheless, without a job or a plan, you are about to exchange emotional stress for financial stress. Which is easier?
**
He is not only being deceitful, he is also robbing the family and paying the stripper out of meager family funds. How long should Corinne tolerate this? Until he drains the family bank account? Better to get out now while there are still some family resources. I have a friend who did not leave when she should have, under similar circumstances to this. Her husband drained the bank accounts, disappeared and left her and the children literally penniless. This sort of thing happens a lot. **

I could go into a long thing about God’s plans and discerning His will from our own. Circumstances and coincidences are not always meant to guide us in the direction of his plan.

Since you are not married, and you have never experienced these kinds of family conditions, maybe you shouldn’t say anything. You have no idea how stressful and wearying it becomes with time. Her husband has been told for quite some time what needs to be done. He refuses to do it, and has irreparably damaged the marriage. Corinne deserves respect and is not getting it. It is better to get out before she is broken by this.