Emotional and mental wreck

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Help2 said:
This is my house. Under my name. The only way of having him removed would be with an officer escorting him out of here, in which i refuse to do because he is on probation and i dont want him to end up incarcerated.
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If a police officer has to come, your friend would have the choice of leaving peaceably and preserving himself from the incarceration he earned for himself or not.

Were I you, honestly I would go to the local women’s shelter and ask how one goes about this kind of break-up. This is no place to reinvent the wheel. Learn from those whose wisdom was learned the hard way. You DO NOT want to learn the hard way first-hand!

Do not delay. Awake, arise, and do what you need to do immediately. Please!
 
EasterJoy said:
Were I you, honestly I would go to the local women’s shelter and ask how one goes about this kind of break-up. This is no place to reinvent the wheel. Learn from those whose wisdom was learned the hard way. You DO NOT want to learn the hard way first-hand!
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This is good advice; find help to make a plan before you start. You will be a lot more apt to succeed. If you leave without knowing where you will go and what must be done next, you will be very vulnerable.
 
He was a federal agent and slowly pocketed federal money which, in the end, summed to $80,000.00 (eighty thousand). He was interrogated and he plead guilty to save his life of being locked up for 20+ years.
 
😦 i dont know what is true or real. My mind is foggy and ive come to the point where i cant trust my own decisions. What if this website, in itself, is satan hiding behind a computer screen trying to tear my relationship with my God fearing fiance?? Satan presents himself in others to get what he wants. So with this said, how do i know if what ALL OF U are saying is Truth and of God or is it a deception by satan??? :((
Im very lost in this.
Some of what you all say makes sense but how can it be of good when youre advice will uproot me from a Godly life? I dont understand.
 
When your fiancé says “God is Love,” what do you feel? Manipulated, controlled, taken advantage of, emotionally abused, afraid.

When scripture says “God is Love,” isn’t it an entirely different kind of love? Love is good, not evil.
 
Help2 said:
He was a federal agent and slowly pocketed federal money which, in the end, summed to $80,000.00 (eighty thousand). He was interrogated and he plead guilty to save his life of being locked up for 20+ years.
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So… how much jail time did he do…? Have you met with his probation officer? 😊

Did you ever see his “federal agent I.D.”? :cool:

Sisterwoman, I have been where you are, and you need to end it, NOW. I truly believe that this man is delusional, and he is perfectly willing to drag you along with him into a dangerous, fictional world.

Please, please listen to me. I beg you. Please.
 
SecretaryMonday said:
This could be what he needs right now in his life, who knows? At least you would not feel responsible for trying to prevent his suicide or the harm of you and your child; he would be under surveillance.
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Agreed, SecretaryMonday, agreed.

This fellow is a sorry excuse for a man… and he will cause harm not only to you, but to your children. :mad: If you don’t act on your behalf, **ACT ON THEIRS. **

I am not sure how you have found the privacy to post here, but you have got to visit the following site:

www.youarenotcrazy.com

Do not skip the intro.

Make sure to delete your computer history, or you could be in grave danger. :eek:
 
just 2 words… CONTROL and MANIPULATION !!!

Don’t marry him. This is not from God.

He is just using Religion as an excuse for his poor choices and behavior. If he were really a devout Catholic, he wouldn’t be living with you putting himself, you and your kids in an occasion of sin.

Again, this is not from God. Maybe you need time apart to re evaluate things. Don’t get pressured into marrying him.

Your first marriage already ended bad, make sure your second marriage will last a life time so do not rush into the sacrament of marriage…
 
Help2 said:
😦 i dont know what is true or real. My mind is foggy and ive come to the point where i cant trust my own decisions. What if this website, in itself, is satan hiding behind a computer screen trying to tear my relationship with my God fearing fiance?? Satan presents himself in others to get what he wants. So with this said, how do i know if what ALL OF U are saying is Truth and of God or is it a deception by satan??? :((
Im very lost in this.
Some of what you all say makes sense but how can it be of good when youre advice will uproot me from a Godly life? I dont understand.
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If your fiance were God-fearing, you wouldn’t be afraid of HIM. You would know you could break up with him without fear of what he would do. Your choice about whether to move apart would not be influenced by a concern he’d violate parole rather than abide by your decision.

Talk to your pastor, OK? You do not need a contolling man in your life in order to be godly. You can’t be cowed into sanctity. You need real pastoral guidance, not what you have been getting.
 
WiccanWoman said:
Agreed, SecretaryMonday, agreed.

This fellow is a sorry excuse for a man… and he will cause harm not only to you, but to your children. :mad: If you don’t act on your behalf, ACT ON THEIRS.

I am not sure how you have found the privacy to post here, but you have got to visit the following site:

www.youarenotcrazy.com

Do not skip the intro.

Make sure to delete your computer history, or you could be in grave danger. :eek:
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I am very afraid this is true. I would not leave evidence of this thread on the computer, either. If you don’t believe us, OP, talk to a priest. This is not even a close call.
 
Help2 said:
😦 i dont know what is true or real. My mind is foggy and ive come to the point where i cant trust my own decisions. What if this website, in itself, is satan hiding behind a computer screen trying to tear my relationship with my God fearing fiance?? Satan presents himself in others to get what he wants. So with this said, how do i know if what ALL OF U are saying is Truth and of God or is it a deception by satan??? :((
Im very lost in this.
Some of what you all say makes sense but how can it be of good when youre advice will uproot me from a Godly life? I dont understand.
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God is Love - Love is patient and Kind (so says the Bible)

Satan isolates and destroys…

you have said yourself you have no friends, no pets and he makes you feel stupid and smothered…so from your relationships perspective which do you think is in play? I would say Satan.
 
No, he did no jail time because he paid back every penny within a # of days. His parents expunged every credit source and loan brokers, banks and money borrowed from family to make for the payment of $80K. He was then fired from the barcotics agency and slapped with a 10 yr probation sentence. Hes given up alcohol to give of himself to Christ. And to prove his love for me.
I actually created a fake user account and am accessing from my smartphone. Im away from home right now so im able to. Or every time he goes in the restroom, it gives me time to come on here. Believe me when i say that i clear my history every time i access catholicanswers.
I dont have desire to ruin his character and neither do i have heart to see that hes incarcerated. Those thoughts r evil. How can one think or say that being incarcerated is something he needs. 😦
I will be making a hidden visit with my priest to guide me.
Also that im not living in sin. We both are chaste.
 
You’ll need to address living together with a priest more so because of scandal if you are indeed being chaste.

If you are telling the truth, you are not ruining someone’s character.
 
if he is serious about killing himself if you leave him what will he do to keep you? Will he hurt you? Someone who threatens to kill himself can’t be trusted in anyway. A person who doesn’t value his own life won’t value yours either in the end. I suggest that you get out of there as quickly as you can. Tell your family and friends the situation. And maybe even tell the cops.
 
You are a teacher. talk to the counselors at your school. they can recommend help. Go to the women’s shelter and get a plan. that’s great advice. tell your family. tell your ex - he may need to take the kids to keep them safe. call the police to have this man removed from your house. Get a restraining order.
Talk to the priest who won’t marry you - he was right! Talk to your new priest also. I will pray for you.
 
Help2 said:
😦 i dont know what is true or real. My mind is foggy and ive come to the point where i cant trust my own decisions. What if this website, in itself, is satan hiding behind a computer screen trying to tear my relationship with my God fearing fiance?? Satan presents himself in others to get what he wants. So with this said, how do i know if what ALL OF U are saying is Truth and of God or is it a deception by satan??? :((
Im very lost in this.
Some of what you all say makes sense but how can it be of good when youre advice will uproot me from a Godly life? I dont understand.
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He threatened to kill himself if you leave. What other threats will make later, or even carry out because he is so insecure and afraid of you leaving? If you don’t know the truth and can’t trust your own judgement to determine the truth then you need to get out. Doubt is from satan. The fact that you can’t tell where satan is is an indication that you need to get out of the relationship.
 
I think you must live your fiance, and FAST.

Number one: he is scary abusive.

Number two: there will be a permanent impediment to marriage in the Catholic Church for you and he, since your adultery with your now fiance occurred during your marriage to the father of your children, and led to the end of your marriage. I don’t remember what the reference is in Canon law, so maybe someone can provide it for us. But I do recall that adultery constitutes a permanent impediment to marriage with the co-adulterer.

But back to reason number one: he is scary abusive and sounds VERY dangerous. Get out as quickly but safely as you can.
 
When he is home, he smothers me and acts obsessive with me. I cant go anywhere or do anything alone because he follows me all over the house; even to the restroom. This isn’t normal behavior.
He pops in on me unexpectedly and goes through my phone when im asleep at night.
This is an invasion of privacy and shows he doesn’t trust you.
I cant have alone time in my bedroom because it upsets him that im avoiding him. He gets hurt when i lock any door behind me and has pried locks open with his mysterious tools to get to me.
This sounds very weird and inappropriate for him to do.
*My whole life has changed after i reconciled with him. It has changed from living in sin to now living in doing whats obedient to God by his choice. Which is wonderful! However, he forces Holiness down my throat and bombards me with catholic readings because he thinks im not close enough to God. He becomes enraged and blows up in anger if i ask to skip mass in the morning to do evening mass instead. If i miss a confession, he’ll question me and makes sure that he is imposing it on me until i get to the confessional. *
People can use religious things as a means of control and manipulation which is exactly what this sounds like. He found some way to hook you by using the religious angle.
*But he does have some psychotic anger explosions to where i fear for my life and his. He threatens with suicide if i ever leave him. I walk on eggshells because im afraid to set his anger off. Its scary! *
You are not responsible for his life - he is. If he is threatening violence to himself or you, this is a big red flag to end the relationship now!
*he is a wonderful, well mannered man and he takes care of my EVERY single basic need and does anything to give me what i may want. He likes to make sure that im taken care of and that i dont go without of anything. *
Well mannered is not how you described his behavior up to this point. If someone wants to meet your every need, this can be manipulative even though it might seem like a good thing.
He likes to have open communication so that means if i want to plant a new rose bush, he would appreciate if we sat together to search online for a new rosebush. i just cant go out and buy one because then i have made him feel unworthy and he’ll be extremely hurt and he’ll cry. I cant choose anything of any color to improve our 100 yr old home because it needs to go through him first.
You shouldn’t have to consult him for every little decision like a new rosebush. If he cries because of not being included in something so small, he has major emotional problems.
All of the above and the other things you wrote are major red flags. Plus, if you are miserable now, how do you think you will feel if you are married and tied to him financially? These kind of things don’t improve after you are married - they get worse. Please get counseling for yourself so that you can be strong enough to do what you have to do to get our of this situation.
 
Why cant anyone here see the good side in this man? In life, us humans are quick to see the bad in every situation. Why can you not see the good qualities in this man??? I havent left because i choose to see the good in him. Isnt that what Christ wants? For us to see through His loving eyes??? Why are we quick to condemn? I appreciate every word of ur insight of my current relationship with this man? I came on here because i have gone too long in this relationship of misery. Im very close to calling my dr to get on prozac or something because im just overwhelmed and confused in it all. I just want straight forward truthful opinions from u all in reference to my fiance and i. Im trying to figure out the truth of it all; am i brainwashed or is he a man that God has planned me to marry? 😦
 
Help2 said:
Why cant anyone here see the good side in this man? ? 😦
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OK, I’ll bite.

We can’t “see the good side in this man” because of all you have written and described, you have not shown us any good in him for us to see. You have clearly shown only reasons why you should be afraid of him, or distrust him.

Visit the website I showed you and read it ALL. Once you’ve done that with an open mind, it will be impossible for you to ask the same questions over and over and over.
 
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