Emotional Attraction

[adnauseum]

Island Oak, you are a pillar of courage.

Scout, don’t take it personally. Remember that some people in the forum are reading your thread in order to get insight for their own, similar, problem. Some of us, like myself and perhaps Island Oak, are posting our view of the right thing to do. If it doesn’t fit, you don’t have to accept the guidance. But there might be someone reading who needs and perhaps wants to hear the hard truth:

If you want with all your heart to remain honorable, you will tell this person matter-of-factly that you and he are dishonoring your husband and the sacrament of marriage [that’s right, dishonoring other people’s marriages], and that this is going to stop right now.

You should then leave the parish and join a different one, and should the fellow contact you, you should politely remind him that you have no wish to deepen the harm already done.

Again, Scout this is not a condemnation of you; we don’t claim to know you as a person, or what’s in your heart. However, this is a sure-fire answer to the question that someone coming to this thread might be asking themselves:

That answer is: STOP it at ANY COST.

 

[Scout]

adnauseum:

Island Oak, you are a pillar of courage…

Yes, because it takes a lot of courage to brow-beat someone and insult them by saying they’re “not a real woman”. Yep, that’s courageous…

adnauseum:

Some of us, like myself and perhaps Island Oak, are posting our view of the right thing to do. If it doesn’t fit, you don’t have to accept the guidance. But there might be someone reading who needs and perhaps wants to hear the hard truth .

I find it interesting that you say that you are only posting your view of the right thing to do. Then, you say that others might want to hear the hard truth-meaning you think that only way for me to go is to do what you tell me to do.

adnauseum:

If you want with all your heart to remain honorable, you will tell this person matter-of-factly that you and he are dishonoring your husband and the sacrament of marriage [that’s right, dishonoring other people’s marriages], and that this is going to stop right now

You should then leave the parish and join a different one, and should the fellow contact you, you should politely remind him that you have no wish to deepen the harm already done.

Actually, this person doesn’t know of the emotional attraction.
So, we’re not dishonoring any sacrament.

I can understand your advice, and if the other person were aware of the problem then, yes, I’d leave the parish. However, since this is my own personal issue that he is completely unaware of, then I don’t think running is the answer.

I appreciate all of the advice from everyone-I didn’t agree with some of it, and yes, I did feel condemned and judged by some. However, I’ve decided what to do about the situation. I just pray that God will take care of the rest.

Scout :tiphat:

 

[MCOLE]

Heya Scout!

I believe the post by Terry Fenwick was GREAT! So much information in so few words.

All I can say is Pray, Pray, Pray…with your husband being involved in protestant ministry it’s going to take a LOT of prayer. I will add you in my prayers because I KNOW what it is you’re going through (not that my husband was a protestant minister, but he wasn’t interested in religion of any sort). I’ve been married for 20 1/2 years and, well, I’ve had struggles. As well as I think I know or knew my husband, there are/were things I don’t know… I’m sure he’s had temptations and struggles of his own. Now, however, I think he is sliced bread! It can happen for you, too. Hang in there, girl! Hold on to the faith! Pray!

M